Tag: grief

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Be The Best.

‘Good Grief’ and Two Charlies

I was thinking about Charlie Brown today.  Not really about Snoopy or Lucy or that piano dude…remember?  Schroeder. I was remembering one of Charlie Brown’s catch phrases….’good grief’.  After my extensive (4 minute) search on the history of ‘good grief’ I found….not much.  A euphemism for “Good God”, dating back to the 1900’s and of course an ‘Arrested Development’ TV episode from 2004?

In any event, it’s an oxymoron when taken literally.  I had to think about any aspect of grief being good.  Not so much.  However, thinking back to AC’s (Cathy AJ Hardy) comments at the funeral, she mentioned a pain or hurt so deep could only be caused by a LOVE that was so deep.  Hmm…that may be the good beside the grief.

I also thought about this quote…ok, you Grade 11 and 12’s…you should know this one.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way..

Got it?  Yes, that Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities.  Sure, that was written in the 1800’s, but it is a pretty accurate description of grief I think.  I’ve seen a lot about stages of grief and I’m sure that is probably true, but right now it is more like a pretty big yo-yo.  You go up and down between the extremes of the ‘best of times’ remembering, laughing, joking, smiling and dive down to the ‘worst of times’, missing, aching, dreaming of the missed future etc.

Good Grief? Maybe that Charlie Brown was a lot smarter than I ever thought…but I think Lucy knew that all along.

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Be The Best.

Not really sure I understood flowers…till now.

This Thursday is four weeks since Chris passed away.  Sometimes it seems like a second has gone by and other times it feels like 20 years…or 1000.

What I know for certain is how many of our lives are changed forever.

As time goes by, I’m sure I’ll have more perspective on various stages and aspects of the ‘grieving’ part of the journey, but I wanted to focus on one particular area for the blog post tonight.

Flowers. Yah, I knew I should get Ingrid flowers on special occasions (like weekends for example!) and flowers were good for mothers and as a host gift for dinner perhaps.  What I had totally overlooked until these past weeks is how flowers could have affected us personally during this time of loss.

In that first week after Chris was gone, our house filled up with flowers from so many organizations and people…including many of you.  Thank you.  I acknowledged what the flowers represented, but something more was at work.  Whenever we entered the house, many times after returning from difficult trips to the funeral home for example, the scent of the flowers would greet us as the door opened and we walked down the hall.  In our darkest moments, the colour and life of the plants and flowers gave us hope that life was beautiful and should be celebrated.

I don’t think I’ll ever look at (or smell) a flower arrangement in the same way again.

ps These are just a couple of pics of the actual flower arrangements taken by none other than Steve Lacoursiere….when he wasn’t working 20 hours per day on the videos in preparation for the service! Thanks Steve.

pps There is one flower arrangement in particular that will receive it’s own blog post…that’s coming next week.

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Be The Best.

Legacy of sight

As was mentioned at the funeral, we made a family decision to donate Chris’ corneas.

This is not the easiest post to write and perhaps not to read either, but I promised to be forthcoming as we journeyed forward so here goes.

We received a letter late this week from the Eye Bank of British Columbia.  We’ve received a number of ‘business’ letters including condolences, but when you read it in print it always hits you…’the recent loss of your son Christian’.  After three weeks it feels like he should still be coming home even though we know that will not happen in this world.

The letter continues, ‘I hope there is some comfort to you and your family in knowing that your generosity has dramatically improved the lives of corneal transplant recipients.  These individuals are very grateful to you and your family for this Legacy of Sight’.

I love that.  The Legacy of Sight.  These are the eyes of a champion.  As much as Chris’ corneas will physically guide a recipient for years and decades to come, the spirit of Chris and the principled life he lived can help guide us all on our journey.

The letter ends, ‘With gratitude, I thank you for reaching out in the midst of your sorrow to help others’.

We wouldn’t have it any other way.  This is a gift that gives back as much as it gives.