People constantly ask us how we are doing. If the situation was reversed, we would do the same. It’s part of being human. My first answer was, “we’re doing ok…a day at a time”. I changed that to, “an hour at a time”. I then came to the realization that neither a week, day, hour or minute at a time was really what was happening.
Time by itself was curing nothing. It certainly helps to dull the ache maybe a little (or not), but just time by itself was not working. What is helping, however, is the amazing power to make decisions. I’ve changed my answer and so has Ingrid and Max too. Ask us how we’re doing. We’ll probably tell you, “We’re moving forward, one DECISION at a time”. The cool thing about a decision is that you control it. It is exceptionally empowering. We’ve made decisions about how we would work as a family unit, how we would help others (via ChristianFriesen.com) and how we would help each other through the passing of Chris and the unknown that lies ahead.
Thanks for standing with us. How are we doing? We’ll get there…one decision at a time!
8 replies on “Day at a time….OR NOT.”
good thinking Randy. Thinking about you today.
I was thinking, time stands still in a way, as you watch people move on.
We’re proud of you.
We love you and worry about you and so we ask, ‘how are you doing?’ Really, though, it is such a bizarre question. What answer could you possibly give to reflect the truth – which is probably something like, ‘Your guess is as good as mine; I’m working my way through this minefield of emotion that tends to explode at any given time, then the flip side takes over where I am frozen and numb and wondering what is coming next?’ Time is both a friend and a foe at this point; I think we all have to give time, time.
It’s totally an ok question!! People want to know and we want to tell them as best we can. The ‘how are you doing’ question actually made me think many times about how I was doing…and led to some of the thoughts in today’s blog. Elizabeth’s comments about stopping for a bit (april 8 at 10:51am) is very good too. I need to realize there will be many twists and turns as we move forward. Thanks to all of you for being with us!!
A wonderful strategy. Don’t forget to be gentle with yourselves along the way. If sometimes the decision of the moment is to stop for bit, that’s ok too. You can start moving forward again when you recharge.
Thinking about you guys. Your decisions are powerful ways to heal yourselves and heal others. What an amazing family you guys are.
Hey Randy, do you have any idea how cathartic this blog is – for all of us. I look forward to it every day; it makes me think and understand things from different perspectives. It helps.
I too have been reading along each day Randy. I can tell “how you are doing” when I read your blog and thank you for using this method to connect with all of us that care so much about you, Ingrid and Max.
I have bookmarked your blog and will keep in touch Randy.
Hi Randy, As mentioned personally, I had just read Joni E’s account of connecting with ‘Kim’, a brilliant young woman smitten with motor-neuron disease and wondering about choosing a ventilator to prolong life. Joni, first speechless, breathed a prayer, and then was led to Psalm 90, ‘Do not forget…with the Lord a day is like a thousand years…’ Beyond the traditional interpretations, Joni explained the potential of a single day having a ‘thousand year impact’. Her thoughts and prayers in that imprisoned body carried potential beyond anyone’s imagination. Kim was intrigued, and she was blessed that day. God’s blessing on you this day.