I know the methodology of many guys who ‘read’ this blog.
Their Significant Other reads it and passes the information on to them.
Many guys don’t read much. I get that.
Guys do stuff. I get that.
Guys grieve differently. The ‘professional grieving industry’ (sarcasm) doesn’t really get that.
I found a very interesting author/speaker on-line talking about the differences between men and women and how that relates to grieving. I haven’t read his book (case in point from above…I like to own books and read parts of them…), but I watched his 20 minute mini presentation on men and grief and was very impressed.
With my management instructor hat on, I’ve spoken many times to my students about the differences between cultures and communication AND the differences between men and women and communication.
One excellent point that Tom Golden makes is that women tend to communicate face to face…ie they literally like to look at each other when talking. If you hadn’t noticed, when a man talks to another man, they don’t tend to do this. Face to face for a man is all about confrontation and challenge. What men like to do is go shoulder to shoulder and fight something together. Think sports (lacrosse (of course), hockey, football, soccer, whatever) which replicates ancient traditions of battle.
Anyhooo, when it comes to grieving men still want to DO stuff. I’ve mentioned this to many people but not here in this blog. If Chris and I used to work on cars together, I would probably be finishing a car right now. If we hunted together I’d probably arrange a hunting trip with ‘da boys’. For me to honour Chris, the SFU Chris Friesen Memorial Fund was a huge goal and it was as much a part of the male grieving process as going to lacrosse games and writing blog posts.
For the men reading, take a look at this video on the attached link.
For the women reading for their men, take a look at this video on the attached link…and then drag your husbands/boyfriends/friends/sons over to take a look…or just watch it for them and let them what it was about. 🙂
It’s some interesting food for thought.
Guys: Sorry this blog post was so long. 367 words is way too much. Go do something.
NOTE: I’m not endorsing etc. Just another viewpoint along our journey!