Author: Randy Friesen

Interesting rereading this blog post from Oct 2010. Stair into Space.

It talks about a painting I had just received. Interestingly enough I’m looking at that same painting as I type, 10 years later on a different wall, in a much different home and country but still the feeling remains.

There is a past and you need to review your steps, but the focus MUST be the future. 10% where I’ve been – 90% where I’m going. We’ve aimed to make that the motto as we’ve made decisions again and again fine tuning the path ahead, drawing on history but marching forward, towards the light.

From the 2010 blog:

I’m looking at a painting tonight that I was given last month.

It’s a watercolour showing a wooden pathway through a forest leading to a glorious sunrise or sunset.  You really can’t tell which one it is.

It’s called ‘into the light’ and reflects an image from Long Beach on Vancouver Island.

I love that picture.

The picture below is another view of the Fall colors in Michigan and also symbolizes the path to the light. I include simply because I can. 😉 I can’t get enough of these colors – and yes, that is the correct US spelling. And yes, I maintained the Canadian spelling of ‘watercolour’ from the 2010 blog post. It’s tough to ‘live’ on both sides of the border. Have a great week.

Date: Oct 3

Halloween is in full production and display mode. Did you know that in the USA, Halloween is 2nd only to Christmas in dollars spent each year? Try 8.8 BILLION in 2019.

In the States, everything seems a little larger than life. Like why wouldn’t you want a pair of 20 foot tall skeletons in your front yard? This is not a stock photo. It’s a 3 minute walk from my house and it scares me every time I go by. Boo Who? The Who is 172 million people that participate in Halloween in the USA alone. Canada isn’t far behind as a percentage of population. If you need more detail, Stats Canada is here to help.

This year will be different, of course. The 4 million children looking to trick or treat in Canada will be making the rounds from the kitchen to the family room I presume, looking for an internal treasure.

Thanks to the great scrapbooking skills of my good wife, I found these precious photos and snapped a few shots so I could share with you. Chris in a bumble bee costume is the winner. 4 years old in 1997. You can see by 2002, it was wild hair, a pig’s nose and hockey jersey. What? I know. Max went with the classic ghost in 1997 and Mike Reno from Loverboy or something for 2002. (YAH, LOOK IT UP – the kid is hot tonight etc. Think 80’s!!) Editor note: After lengthy discussion with final judge and wife, we could not remember exactly what that costume was. Most likely grab anything you can wear and grab some candy.

THOSE are memories that I’m looking for and if takes 20ft skeletons to remind me of the cutest 4 year old bumble bee I’ve ever seen, so be it. 😉

Have a great week.

Ten years ago today I wrote a blog about brothers. You can read it here.

It included one of my favourite pictures of the boys on a family road-trip to California.

From the post:

I remember when we had both Max and Chris as young dudes in piano lessons. One night, they had a piano recital.  They were both scared.  It was sort of comical.  Here’s why.

Brothers are brothers.  That means always a punch or comment or wedgie or attempted wedgie or something.

That’s what brothers do.

Here’s what else brothers do.  They have each others’ backs.

During this piano recital, the fooling around was over for the night or at least until the ‘stupid’ recital was over.  It was simply, ‘I’m gonna support you and you’re gonna support me’ and we’ll get through this horrific event of playing this instrument in front of people we don’t know.

As part of the 10 year retrospective and reading blog posts from years ago, brothers and family relationships are a common theme. We are thankful as a family that those kinds of brotherhood relationships have grown beyond just blood relatives to a bond with friends (along with family!) that we will have for life through the good and the bad. Have a good week.

Ok, that’s rather dramatic.

Hockey is over for the season for the Vancouver Canucks. That’s more accurate. Editor’s note: The writer was too despondent to write about this last weekend when it happened. He needed some time to absorb and adjust to a schedule without Canucks hockey games starting at 10pm.

Ok, back to hockey being over. What is also accurate is that the ‘season’ for this young group of players should have a 3-5 year potential of making a lot of noise. Season is quite a contextual word. This year has a season but the Canucks are in a season of youth driven winning – at least that is my strong prognostication and inner belief. That season of winning could last 3-5 years, maybe more.

Our lives have seasons of course as well. Each year we go through the four seasons, although in Detroit those seasons are: Winter, Winter, Summer, Winter, but you get my point. Then years can clump together and we see seasonal patterns that span multi year periods. If you find yourself in a season of grief, recognize that what happened won’t change but seasons do. That doesn’t mean you forget!!! I always say loss is like losing an arm or leg in a way – it’s obvious that those limbs don’t grow back – unfortunately. However, with time and the power of making decisions on a regular basis, the seasons do change and you learn to manage, succeed and even be happy.

Regardless of the season, there is always hope. And one thing I learned long ago is that hope is an action word. That’s from an old post that I’ll link here.

Have a great week.

I have been profoundly impacted by the power of choice over the past 10 years. Every day we are offered hundreds of choices.  In most cases, if we don’t like where the previous choice has taken us, we can simply make another one.

One thing being more separated physically has done with my own thinking is to push alternate forms of connection that I may have overlooked in the past. In practical terms for me that means sending notes to folks I haven’t connected with in a while or having video catch ups like we’ve done virtually with friends with a very real glass of wine in hand!

It is hard to harvest the resource of time when feeling it is not an asset but a hindrance – something that is amplifying the separation from where you want to be. I am always conscious of those reading this blog who have suffered loss and of course our instinct is to have our loved ones with us – now. It took me a long time (years) to really gain perspective and understanding for myself – recognizing every journey is different. My own belief is I will see Chris (our son) again and if I really believe that I should maximize this time of strange separation away from him. Strange time. Strange times. Time can intensify the feeling of separation and at the same time provide opportunities for creativity of connection and reinvention.

As we all travel through the world of coronavirus together, this strange time of more physical distance will eventually end or transition with the advent of vaccines, testing protocols, technology and organized systems. Until then, the practise of harvesting time is something I want to continue to work on even though the feeling of separation will never be completely normal.

Have a good week.