Tag: Christian Friesen

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Be The Best.

Invictus

We recently watched the movie Invictus.

Morgan Freeman stars as Nelson Mandela and team captain François Pienaar, is played by Matt Damon.

What an stunning movie about change and choice in South Africa.  Mandela’s ability to forgive after 27 years in prison was amazing.  And not just forgive, but move to unite a country.  Quite an incredible story with the game of rugby serving as the stage.  The poem Invictus was used as inspiration several times…especially the last few lines:

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

If that is not about the ability to choose…the ability we all have to decide how we will determine the future, I don’t know what is.

We can’t change the past, but we can change the future; one decision at a time.

Here’s the poem in it’s entirety.  For more info on the author, Henley, click this link. He knew a few things about adversity.

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

— William Ernest Henley

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Be The Best.

Lions, Eskimos and Fathers

Ok, perhaps a weird combination but I can explain.

Max took me to the BC Lions home opener today against the Edmonton Eskimos.

It was a big deal for a few reasons.  First, anytime Max and I can hang out together is cool.  It was also great to see so many father and son and father and daughter combos at the game today.  Great stuff for creating those memories!  Additionally, this was the first game at Empire Field, the new temporary home of the Lions and the home of old Empire Stadium which had so much history.  It was great to share some memories and build some new ones with Max today.

Thanks Bud!

Here’s a quick vid from our adventure.  The Lions have done a great job with the PNE folks.  The stadium puts you right on top of the action.  Make sure you check it out this summer!

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Be The Best.

U is for underwear

I knew a month ago I would be writing this post.

I knew what I was going to write about.

I knew what I was going to show you.

I love being a father.  I was 25 when Max came along, perhaps young by today’s averages but I was ready.  Chris joined the family 19 months later.  It was Ingrid, Randy, Max and Chris for 17 glorious  years.  I loved every Father’s Day, but especially loved the handmade cards, breakfasts and little gifts.  Of course that changes as your kids grow, but there is one gift that has stayed in my bedside table drawer all these years.  An alphabet book from Chris (age 6ish), called Dad’s Alphabet Book.  Each letter included a priceless connection between father and son and we shared many laughs over the years at the pictures and the captions.  (You see a few of the pages below)  We would always come back to the letter ‘u’.

U – underwear is what you sleep in.

I don’t know why that was so funny…but it was and it is still is.

Chris knew how much this little book had meant and he had actually began a draft of a new alphabet book at my urging.  Yah, I know, with him being 17, I could only guess the ‘Family Guy’ type humour that would be utilized, but I guess I’m going to have to wait to see that finished product.

Now I must say that Max was exceptionally thoughtful and surprised me earlier this week with tickets for the 2 of us to see the BC Lions play on Sunday at the old Empire Stadium site which will be great.  Thanks MAX!! I’m looking forward to it!

Tonight though, on the eve of  Father’s Day, I wanted to share with you this alphabet book to help us all to remember that it is the smallest of things that can mean the most.  This gift did not cost any money, but it was and is PRICELESS.

Chris, I LOVE YOU.

Your Dad forever.

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I vow this is the last sunset blog….this week.

7:55pm June 16, 2010

Not sure what the complete fascination is, but I can’t stop taking pictures of sunsets this week.  The curiosity with sunsets doesn’t end at home.   Whenever we’ve been fortunate enough to get to Hawaii, watching the sun set was high on my priority list.

This week, it really has been incredible how you have that contrast of the dark clouds and the brilliant sun on a daily basis.  Maybe one of these weeks we’ll actually have a little sustained summer weather…but I digress..

Last night after writing the blog, I spent a little time catching up on some Facebook messages.  I am truly inspired and strengthened with all of the support.

This is a journey and journeys rarely track in a straight line.  I guess that is some of the comfort in the sunset.  There is a predictability with it.  There are websites that track the exact time each day the sun will do it’s thing.

You know the sun will rise and set…what you don’t know are the colours, cloud formations and the overall picture that will form each night.  Predictability and the unknown.  Maybe that’s the draw.  It’s the predictability and the unknown that are creating the most amazing pictures.  Interesting.

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Be The Best.

What is this…sunset week?

Langley sunset. June 15, 2010.

Really…I wasn’t looking for a sunset theme this week, but that is how it’s working out.

The colours here remind me of the colours of the rainbows we saw at some amazing times just after Chris’ passing.

Rainbows are mentioned as far back as the story of Noah and his ark and the promise of hope after the biblical account of a great flood.

Those rainbows in the days following Chris’ passing helped remind us that we were not being forgotten.  There was one very difficult day that the lacrosse team was doing a tribute for Chris.  It was amazingly wonderful and difficult at the same time.  It was stormy and raining heavily, but the hint of sun was on the horizon.  I thought we might see a rainbow, but didn’t.  We got to the arena parking lot and as I backed into the parking spot we saw a huge bright rainbow that must have been behind us.  I called my nephew Steve and told him as we had shared some of these stories and in the couple of moments we were on the phone the rainbow faded and was gone.

Like many other things I’ve written about, I realize that it rains a lot in Vancouver and a mix of sun and rain leads to rainbows!  That is a scientific fact.  It was just incredibly cool to see this ancient symbol of hope showing up at unexplained times and places in those first few weeks.

If you think this is interesting, wait for the eagle story in the next few days…!

This new normal thing ain’t easy or all that fun.  That being said, we know the sun will set each night which means just one thing.  The sun will rise again!  (ok, if I get too much more philosophical I think I may go see Dr. Phil…)

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Be The Best.

Gov’t workers and grief.

First a quick follow up to last night.  A couple hours after taking the sun setting shots, I looked out the window and saw this sliver of a moon with it’s lit edge.  This pic doesn’t do justice, but wanted to show you.  I looked again 15 minutes later and it was gone behind the clouds.  Tonight’s late evening sunset was equally spectacular again reminding me of the fact that the sun does exist behind the dark clouds.

Late this afternoon we had a rare hour to run errands during office hours in our town…(we’re usually still at BCIT or commuting during that time).  Things like passports, id, licenses all have to be returned or accounted for.  It’s not that fun.

We hear a lot about government workers, line-ups and grumpy people.  I have to say the people I dealt with today were wonderful.  Empowered front line workers who were empathetic, caring and efficient.  Yes, there were the forms, signatures and questions.  But they were handled in a very professional but caring manner.  I don’t know their names, but I’ll throw out a blanket THANK YOU to every front line employee from any government, school, or agency that goes the quick extra mile to connect with the people they’re dealing with as people and not just a number.

This process is difficult of course because it speaks so deeply to the truth of what is happening.  Chris is gone and won’t be back on this earth.  Of course we know that, but when you are surrendering documents there is a yet another piece placed in the finality puzzle.

Tonight we again tell ourselves that we know the sun is behind the clouds and the sun is certainly shining through.  Just look at the picture. (photo taken approx 6:30pm tonight)

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Taking it to the Max.

Max, our oldest son, turned 19 today.  What?  How could that happen?  Already?

Yup.

Ethanator looks on as Max gets ready for 19 candles.

We had brunch with great friends, afternoon coffee with family and a ‘new normal’ dinner at the Keg tonight with the three of us.  Max and his gang are now ‘chillin’.

Max has been an unbelievable part of our family team during the past 2.5 months.  He helped me incredibly when we decided to build the official Facebook page for Chris.  He offered wonderful support to people at the funeral and in those intense weeks.  Max…you rock Dude.

As a Lifeguard and Swim Instructor he is helping change lives already.  He’s learning how to empower youngsters to believe in themselves, have confidence and do things they didn’t think they could do.

Max, as you head into your next years of long-term career exploration and studying, know that your Mom and I couldn’t be prouder of you.  Happy Birthday Dude.

And the sunset pic?  Well that was just a little silver lining hello from your Brother.

Sunset, June 13, 2010.

Work hard, be safe, have fun.

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Borscht and Berries

I usually make a shake for breakfast at least 3-4 times per week.  Chris loved them as well.  He wrote the recipe down last year and called them ‘Randy’s Jacked Shakes’….of course he did!  (recipe: 1-2 frozen bananas, 1 cup strawberries (frozen or fresh), 1-2 cups orange juice, 1 cup yogurt, 1 scoop protein powder (you can get at Costco), all measurements are adjusted to taste and consistency)

Anyways, as I was making the shakes one morning this week I realized what I was making them with.  Remember all that food at the funeral?  Well, through the assistance of amazing friends and family about 3 big bags of strawberries were sliced and frozen.  That’s what we were having for breakfast this week.  I thought again of all the generosity and amazing support.

Tonight I was busy downstairs and Ingrid came down about 6pm and said a relative (name protected!) had dropped off some hot borscht.  If you’ve never had borscht, you better get friendly with some Mennonites  (Toews, Friesen, Harder, Thiessen, Funk, Klassen etc etc) and have a bowl.  It is a vegetable based soup that absolutely hit the spot tonight.  Not only with the food aspect but another humble reminder of how many people have cared and are continuing to care for us.

We get through each day and are looking to the future, but any moment and many moments we have thoughts of our amazing, loving, wonderful son Chris who we will all see again one day.

Until then, we’ll have a shake, eat some borscht and keep helping each other one decision at a time.

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Be The Best.

The Stanley Cup and Being The Best.

Wow.  It’s over.  The Stanley Cup for 2010 has been won by the Blackhawks.

Now this is not a sports blog per se, so I won’t mention how much I despise the Hawks for beating our beloved Canucks earlier this year…or maybe I will.  Better yet maybe I’ll make a video…oh yah, did that too.  If you haven’t seen it, here’s a minute and 15 seconds of time that you’ll never get back…

Fun aside, the Hawks Chairman and owner, Rocky Wirtz, was interviewed after tonight’s game.  I’m paraphrasing slightly…but the question was, how did you know you were going to win? how could you have set  your expectations so high?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE his answer.  Mr. Wirtz said, I can tell you this much…if we had set the bar lower, we would have achieved it.

Let that sink in.

If we set the bar low…if we aim low…if our goals are low…we’ll probably achieve low.

If we aim high and don’t achieve the ‘prize’, I guarantee you that we’ll achieve more that we ever thought we could.

Be The Best.  What a great example.

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Roy’s in San Diego – the full story!

If you ever get a chance to go to Roy’s (Hawaiian Fusion Restaurant)….go! It is awesome.  We went for the first time in Hawaii several years ago and go back whenever we have a chance.  With the closest location in Hawaii or California, that’s not too often so when we were in San Diego a few weeks back with Steve and Meggan we jumped at the chance.

Because it was the Saturday night before Mother’s Day and they were doing a big Mother’s Day promo, I called the manager that afternoon and explained our situation to him.  I said that Ingrid was a very proud Mom, but too much emphasis on that point would be hard for us to deal with at this time.

The manager said no problem, he’d handle things….and he did.

The server was amazing.  Kind, attentive, outgoing and he didn’t say one thing at any point in the evening that remotely made us uneasy or uncomfortable.  As our dinner progressed the restaurant began to slow down and our server spent a little more time with us and we got to chatting about his pursuits (he’s studying architecture), his background (he’s from Miami and recently moved to San Diego to study) and his plans for the future.  You know who this young man reminded us of that evening in a very indirect way.  Yup.  And guess what was the topper?  At the end of the evening as we were paying the bill we asked what his name was.

“My name is Chris”, he said.

Of course it was.

Now, this was simply a chance encounter and we realize there are thousands of young men named Chris throughout North America.  That being said, it was a pretty special moment on the eve of a very different Mother’s Day.