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Be The Best.

Boys and their toys.

I had a phone call today with Tom Golden from Maryland, USA.

You may remember that name from a blog post a week or so back titled, ‘For men only…yah right’.

It was a very interesting conversation as we explored topics about men and the grieving process and how men react differently to loss and honouring a loved one.

We are looking at doing an interview via Skype in the future so stay tuned!

There was one very interesting thing though that I couldn’t wait until that interview to share.

Tom again had some great insights into the male perspective on communication and how that relates to the grieving process.

He told me some amazing stories about sports stars and musicians…but I’ll keep you waiting for those and let him tell you.

I had told him about an example of ‘man communication’ that I relayed on this blog a few months back.  Going on a golf weekend with ‘the guys’ is usually about 90% having fun, letting your hair down (ok, you know that hurts seeing as my hairstyle is a Number 1 with a razor…) and DOING STUFF.  There is usually some (maybe 10%) sincere and deeper conversation, but not predetermined or predictable.

This was not news to Tom.  He stated that it is the ACTIVITY itself, the ‘shoulder to shoulder battle’, that bonds men.  That ties into everything from war to sports.  It was the next comment Tom made that really hit home.  He said that it is the joined activity (fighting an enemy, conquering a mountain, driving an ATV around) that combines some danger and challenge that provides a SAFE ZONE for men to talk to each other.  ie, if this guy has my back, I may be able to have a deeper conversation.

I found that very interesting.

You see in the vid attached a little fun with ATV’s courtesy of Drake with Wayne and Brad driving and yours truly filming while trying to hold on.

Thinking about this another way…four hours of golf to have a 2 minute serious conversation.

It’s all making much more sense now.  Maybe I will unretire from golf after all.

btw…I know it’s 5 months today that Chris passed away and we continue to thank you for remembering us in your thoughts and prayers.

By Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC and Detroit, Michigan. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

1 reply on “Boys and their toys.”

facinating stuff, Randy. I have featured Tom Golden in the New Hope newsletters over the years, and had an e-mail conversation going with him a number of years back. I was interested in his perspective and wisdom as a man on the subject of grief. I’m so glad you have connected.
hugs from your sis

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