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Be The Best.

And so it begins – The Commencement – Part 3

Two years ago, on Easter Sunday, I began this blog.

I thought it might go for a month, then two months, then six, then for sure end at 12, then it kept going.

Although these past few months the posts have been more in my head then typed onto the screen, it’s not for lack of topics.   Along this pathway/journey/road/highway/trail you have ups and you have downs.  You have valleys and you have views.  You learn to laugh with a broken heart.  You learn to live with a hole in your heart.  You even learn to win and conquer with an altered existence.

That’s the REAL secret of Sunday.

It’s not about the razzle dazzle.

It’s about the amazing reality that there is life with tragedy.  There is hope with sorrow.  There is bitter and there is sweet, mixed and stirred.

Sunday is about hope.

Sunday is about future.

Sunday is about change.

After 21 years at an amazing post secondary school that has become a home not just a job…I am taking a leave.

I’m heading to the private sector working to assist entrepreneurs build their businesses.

A big change.

I’m not sure I would have done it without the Be The Best thinking part of my every waking minute.

Now, I’m not encouraging anyone to quit their jobs or do anything crazy, but I will challenge all of you to Be The Best!

What does that mean to you?

What are your dreams?

What are your goals?

How are you putting those into measurable pieces, sliced up by months and days?

Chris’ passion fuels me.  Chris’ passion to Be The Best fuels all of us, even those who never met him.

It’s Sunday…but it’s early Sunday morning.

Hope is on the horizon, but the road ahead is still very unknown.

But one thing I know is that Sunday’s here, and by making one decision at a time we’ll be more ‘Be The Best’ then if we just sit back and let things happen.

Sunday’s here, hope is here and HOPE is an action word.

Be The Best.

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The Commencement – Part 2

So it’s Saturday.  The trauma and drama of the cross is behind us, but now what?  Historical accounts indicate a lot of second guessing and doubting about what the future would be without the Son of Man around physically.  Sort of like living in a suspended state.

We know what Saturday is like.  That’s where you live for a long long time.

But Sunday’s coming.

Quite literally as I type this, our dear friends, the Funks, who stood by us like soldiers for weeks and weeks, are in a suspended animation state with their family, specifically, their daughter Jessica (20).

As you read this, please offer a thot and prayer for her as she fights a flu-like infection that has forced her into a stable but critical state in a Vancouver area hospital.

As a group, we didn’t need any more lessons about how precious life was, but we got one anyways.

When it’s Saturday you think…did that thing just happen?  to us?  really?

Did we just lose Chris? really?

You can’t comprehend for a long time what actually happened.

Saturday is a day where those thoughts can come and topple you over.

I don’t know if you remember the blog post back about a year or so ago how astronauts (and others) are trained to compartmentalize their grief and emotions.  That’s the only way they can make it through traumatic situations and still land the plane, save people from burning buildings, deal with trauma etc.  You can read that post here.

I was also struck by the psychology professor commenting on the story indicating that compartmentalization makes sense but it can have severe impacts as well.  In other words you can’t compartmentalize forever.

So…what does that mean?  Saturday is a time when the doubts and questions come…you MUST compartmentalize to keep working, living and moving ahead BUT (and it’s a big BUT – insert your own joke here), if you only compartmentalize, you will pay a HUGE price.

Saturday is also for doubting.

Saturday is also for questioning.

Saturday is for being angry and confused.

Saturday is for letting those thoughts come to the door, you answer, chat a minute or two and then close the door.

That’s why there is a Saturday.

But Sunday’s coming.

To conclude, the blog post I wrote this past Christmas about Bob Ross the painter, has really stuck with me for months.  He’s that quirky public television personality with a cult-like-following who always looked like he destroyed his painting about 3/4 of the way through…only to have the final image always blow you away.  You can read that post here.

What’s the point you say?  Early on in our Saturday, the questions outweighed the answers, the pain outweighed any positive feelings of the future and I couldn’t understand how any pieces fit together.

I still don’t, actually, but I do know this.

The Joy of Painting
The Joy of Painting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I believe very strongly that we ARE part of a larger painting.  We don’t understand all the Master Painter does or is doing.  PERSPECTIVE is a thing that is not quite available on Saturday, but even as Satur-day turns into Saturday-night, that perspective grows.

And I know one thing…Sunday’s coming.

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Be The Best.

The Commencement – Part 1

This weekend is hugely significant.

It’s Easter, but that’s just part of the story.

This weekend will conclude the active writings in this blog with three posts, today, tomorrow and Sunday.

Why will things ‘end’ on Easter Sunday?  One of the most read posts of the hundreds now on this blog is the very first one…Easter Sunday and so it begins.  It seems only fitting that two years later on Easter Sunday 2012 we would mark the next chapters in our lives and this blog.

But is it really an end or a Commencement?  Many Universities call their graduation ceremonies Commencements.

Look at the Dictionary.com definition of the word:

noun

  1. an act or instance of commencing;  beginning;
  2. the ceremony of conferring degrees or granting diplomas at the end of the academic year.
  3. the day on which this ceremony takes place.

What strikes me about this word is that commencing means the beginning, even though Graduation is really considered a conclusion of studies by many.  When we think of graduation, we often think of ‘the end’ in terms of the end of studying, exams and being finally able to cross the stage and be acknowledged for the work that has been done.

When you really think about it however, Commencement is the perfect word.  Yes, as a graduate you are celebrating the conclusion of studies, but in the big picture, you are just beginning.

For us, (and I know many of you), this two-year mark is not without notice.  We will never ever forget Chris.  He and Be The Best have become a core in our lives.  You could say the last two years have educated us how to live with the Be The Best thinking, how to fail, how to dust ourselves off, how to make another decision, how to push forward and how to win.

We are then indeed ready for a Commencement of sorts.

This is truly the beginning.  The beginning of a new chapter.  New goals, new decisions, new challenges…all with the increased knowledge we’ve gained during the past two years.

Now, I can’t move past today without acknowledging Good Friday.  It struck me these past few months about the documented accounts of the crucifixion story.  Regardless of religious background, bear with me for a moment.  Jesus was identified as God’s Son and in the moment of utter darkness on a cross and losing his earthly life, he did not say, ‘Hey, this is great God, I like this plan.’

He in fact is quoted as saying, ‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’ (Wikipedia references).

For anyone reading who has gone through loss or experiencing these things right now, it’s perfectly ok to question why.  It’s ok to be angry, confused, dazed etc etc.  However, the story doesn’t end with the cross…it begins there.

The story of loss doesn’t end with grief and loss in fact.  It also, in many ways, began there and now a new beginning is peeking out from the clouds.

Friday’s only part of Easter.

Sunday’s coming.

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Langley wins Provincial Championship…and other stuff you should know.

When it comes to lacrosse, both field and box, Langley has always been close to the top and rarely at the top.

The boys, really young men now, that you see in the picture below have been battling for a gold medal for 10 years or more.

I watched a young Chris write down his goal, ‘Make the A1 Langley lacrosse team’.

Then I watched him work that goal.  Push-ups, eating right, practice, repeat.  Working and never quitting.

He made it.  The next goal was to win.  I watched him and his squad battle their hearts out to several bronze medals at the Provincials.  They were huge accomplishments, but the ride home was usually quiet.

He wanted the Gold.

When he won the bronze with Team BC at the National Box Tournie, it was again an amazing accomplishment but the gold still remained the goal.

A couple of Sundays ago on the fields at Burnaby Lake, Langley’s Tier 1 (A1) field lacrosse team won the Gold medal for the FIRST TIME IN LANGLEY’S HISTORY.

These were all guys that Chris had played with over the years and judging by the comments on Chris’ still very active memorial Facebook wall, he was with them on the field for the big win.

CONGRATS to all the players and coaches…and parents too!!  As I look at the picture below I see James, Michael, Brett, Eric, Ryan, Rhys, Riley, Will, Alex and more.

You all have battled for many years together and I know that Chris LOVED fighting the fight with you and I know he’ll be your wingman as many of you leave minor lacrosse and move forward with the next exciting stages of life.

This was a MEGA accomplishment and I know Chris will be beaming for a long time about this one.

You can read the full story in the Langley Times here. 

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Let’s play lacrosse already!

English: Flag of the Iroquois Confederacy, Hia...

When Chris played for Team BC in the Box National tournament in Ontario as a 14 year-old, we witnessed some amazing lacrosse.

Of particular note was team Iroquois.  They were small, but fast and they never ever gave up.

I’ve written about them before but was reminded of them again this week when a video link was sent my way.

Johnny Powless played at that tournment and was a lacrosse wonderkid.  Sort of Gretzky-like.

Amazing with the ball, without the ball and knowing where the play was going at all times.

This video link shows Powless scoring a goal in the NLL a few weeks back.  He’s just 18.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chris is still watching this kid go.

At the tournment back a few years ago, BC won the Bronze in an epic battle with Alberta.  We all stayed to watch Iroquois Nation go against Ontario.  Truly David vs Goliath.  I’m literally getting goose bumps as I type this remembering the game.

The Ontario team was HUGE.  They have a massive population and they could have had 3 or 4 top teams and still been competitive.  The Iroquois team was small.  But they didn’t give up.

I know they made a big impact on the BC boys watching.  In many ways it was the early days of Be The Best.

Yes, Iroquois did prevail to win the gold in one of the most fantastic lacrosse games I’ve ever seen.

Here’s Johnny doing his thing today.  I’m wearing my purple Iroquois t-shirt with pride today and still have the hand- made wooden lacrosse sticks dangling from the rear view mirror of our car.

Watch a little Be The Best in action…and this kid is only beginning.

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Slow Down to Speed Up

On our recent vacation we saw turtles.

A whole lot of turtles.

I’ve got one picture with six of them sleeping on the warm sand.

I’ve also got a picture of a turtle in the water.  Completely different.  They are fast, fluid and graceful.

Out of the water they are…well…slow.

They sleep a lot.

Observing them I couldn’t help but think again of the story in the Power of Focus book about a successful businessman, who when asked about the secret of his success stated, ‘I spend a day a week locked in my den and no one can disturb me.’

What?

Yah, I think being slow, sometimes, is the key to being fast.

Thinking, taking time, getting recharged, soaking the rays, prepares the mind and body for the swim ahead.

Been slow lately?

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Dan Cloutier, Chris and Be The Best

Goaltender Dan Cloutier with the Vancouver Can...
Image via Wikipedia

I was doing some filing today.

Yah, I know.  Great times.

In any event, I stumbled across a file that had some drawings from Max and Chris.

I just had to share this one.  Dan Cloutier and Be The Best maybe don’t sound like they fit anymore, but he had his very best years as a Canuck goalie and the kids loved him.

Max and Chris spent hours drawing these guys.  I think Chris was 9 or 10 when he drew this one.

Notice Pronger taking a slapshot and Cloutier flashing the leather for a great save…(even if it looks like the puck is going wide…)

But then I saw the title, ‘The Best in The Business’.  This wasn’t something we talked about.

He was already relating the success of Cloutier as an NHL goalie to being the Best in the Business.

Not quite, Be The Best…but some early signs of what was to come as he strove to realize his own goals.

Notice the artist’s signature in the lower right corner.

The Best in the Business.

Be The Best.

Love it.

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Walk a mile in his socks.

I started this blog in July, but was one of those that got abandoned along the way.

Maybe a good thing, because I got a few more months out of several pairs of socks.

Chris played lacrosse as you know and the ‘adrenaline’ brand of socks were quite the rage in 2009/2010 and I believe are still very popular today.

They are thick, comfortable and designed for athletes. (yes, you can insert your own joke here about why I would be wearing them…)

For the past 21 months I’ve used them as a default slipper and ‘sock with jeans post work’.

We had found one pair, then 2, then 3 and eventually the 4th.

As you can see from the pic (taken this morning), I’m still stretching out the 4th pair, but we’re on the last threads…literally.

I’m not sure the pictures show it clearly, but each sock is worn right through at the heel or toe and they are done.

Anyone got a creative idea for used clean and washed but worn out socks other than sock puppets?

Many of Chris’ items have been donated or are with friends, but there was something about those socks.

I’ve walked a mile or two in them and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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The way you face.

One of the things I love about Saturday mornings is watching a little Premier League Soccer as the schedule permits.  With games as early as 5 and 7am, the timing works well with the newspaper and a good cup of coffee.

I love the skill, the speed, the set-up and I love those British announcers use of the English language.  Their phrasing and commentary adds a poetic quality to the experience.

Football (Soccer ball)
Image via Wikipedia

We’ve played a lot of noon hour soccer with my work gang over the years.

It’s not quite at Premier League level…but you wouldn’t know it from the locker room stories told just after the match.

When you play sports and you are in the heat of the moment field-of-play one thing you’ll hear is players shouting to other players.  Usually instructions come in bursts of 2 or 3 repeats.  Move the ball, move the ball, MOVE THE BALL…all increasing in urgency.

Ok, that last one is what gets yelled at me a lot, so maybe I’m just sensitive.  Joking aside, I’ve wondered about this form of communication and liken it to military instruction in the heat of the battle.  You want to be clear about your communication and there’s no time to waste with niceties.

One of the most interesting lines I’ve heard a million times on the soccer pitch is, ‘the way you face’.

When you are playing soccer the objective is pretty clear.  You need to score on the opponent’s goal.  In order to do this you should be moving the ball forward toward the enemy’s net.

However, many times you don’t receive the ball in a position where going forward makes the most sense.

In other words, if you receive the ball and you happen to be turned towards your own goal, your natural instinct may be to make an immediate turn and try to push the ball forward.

That could be the worst move.

When you hear, ‘the way you face’, ‘the way you face’, ‘the way you face’, it’s a reminder from your teammate to gain control of the ball and move the ball in the direction you are facing at the time which may appear counterproductive but ultimately allows your team to go forward.

I’ve thought about that phrase a lot in the game of life.

Sometimes turning too quickly and trying to push forward to the opponent’s goal is not the right move.

Playing the way you face, ie passing the ball ‘backwards’ before your team moves the play forward again protects possession and ultimately provides a greater opportunity to score.

Too heavy on the soccer analogies?

I think I may get another Americano and watch game 2 of the Premier League.

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I love losing.

Now that is a complete lie.

Except for today…just a little bit.

Max (our oldest son) is studying at BCIT.  This gives us the unique opportunity to see him multiple times during any given week.

Today he had an hour between classes and joined our weekly staff basketball game down at the gym.

He was my check and I’d like to say I schooled him, but the video evidence (thankfully there wasn’t any) would prove differently.

He played very well and his team beat our team.

I hate losing and I hated it today, but I did have the conscious thought that I maybe hated it just a little bit less because I had the amazing privilege to play basketball with my kid.

Pretty cool, I thought, as I kicked the ball in frustration after losing by a lousy 2 points.

Anyone have time for another game?

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