Tag: Family

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Be The Best.

The Commencement – Part 1

This weekend is hugely significant.

It’s Easter, but that’s just part of the story.

This weekend will conclude the active writings in this blog with three posts, today, tomorrow and Sunday.

Why will things ‘end’ on Easter Sunday?  One of the most read posts of the hundreds now on this blog is the very first one…Easter Sunday and so it begins.  It seems only fitting that two years later on Easter Sunday 2012 we would mark the next chapters in our lives and this blog.

But is it really an end or a Commencement?  Many Universities call their graduation ceremonies Commencements.

Look at the Dictionary.com definition of the word:

noun

  1. an act or instance of commencing;  beginning;
  2. the ceremony of conferring degrees or granting diplomas at the end of the academic year.
  3. the day on which this ceremony takes place.

What strikes me about this word is that commencing means the beginning, even though Graduation is really considered a conclusion of studies by many.  When we think of graduation, we often think of ‘the end’ in terms of the end of studying, exams and being finally able to cross the stage and be acknowledged for the work that has been done.

When you really think about it however, Commencement is the perfect word.  Yes, as a graduate you are celebrating the conclusion of studies, but in the big picture, you are just beginning.

For us, (and I know many of you), this two-year mark is not without notice.  We will never ever forget Chris.  He and Be The Best have become a core in our lives.  You could say the last two years have educated us how to live with the Be The Best thinking, how to fail, how to dust ourselves off, how to make another decision, how to push forward and how to win.

We are then indeed ready for a Commencement of sorts.

This is truly the beginning.  The beginning of a new chapter.  New goals, new decisions, new challenges…all with the increased knowledge we’ve gained during the past two years.

Now, I can’t move past today without acknowledging Good Friday.  It struck me these past few months about the documented accounts of the crucifixion story.  Regardless of religious background, bear with me for a moment.  Jesus was identified as God’s Son and in the moment of utter darkness on a cross and losing his earthly life, he did not say, ‘Hey, this is great God, I like this plan.’

He in fact is quoted as saying, ‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’ (Wikipedia references).

For anyone reading who has gone through loss or experiencing these things right now, it’s perfectly ok to question why.  It’s ok to be angry, confused, dazed etc etc.  However, the story doesn’t end with the cross…it begins there.

The story of loss doesn’t end with grief and loss in fact.  It also, in many ways, began there and now a new beginning is peeking out from the clouds.

Friday’s only part of Easter.

Sunday’s coming.

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Be The Best.

Chris’ new pet.

My little niece Emily (3) had a pet gerbil, or hamster or something like that.

I should really have more details on these things.

All I know is that it was fluffy and sat around in the cage a lot.

As things go, her little pet passed away.

Was she sad?

No, she said, ‘Fluffy’ (not his or her real name, not to protect the hamster/gerbil, but because I just forget what the name was) would be with Chris.

Now that’s beautiful, cute and sort of funny too.

I can image Chris and Dylan up there working hard and then chatting up some young angels when this gerbil thing just sort of appears.  ‘What the whip?’, Chris would say.

And then the head Pet Angel would inform Chris that Emily had made the request.

Chris and his new pet hamster thing. 

Love it.

Do you really have to still clean the cages up in heaven?  Are there cages?

Anyhoo Chris, be good to Emily’s pet…I know you will!

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Be The Best.

Let’s play lacrosse already!

English: Flag of the Iroquois Confederacy, Hia...

When Chris played for Team BC in the Box National tournament in Ontario as a 14 year-old, we witnessed some amazing lacrosse.

Of particular note was team Iroquois.  They were small, but fast and they never ever gave up.

I’ve written about them before but was reminded of them again this week when a video link was sent my way.

Johnny Powless played at that tournment and was a lacrosse wonderkid.  Sort of Gretzky-like.

Amazing with the ball, without the ball and knowing where the play was going at all times.

This video link shows Powless scoring a goal in the NLL a few weeks back.  He’s just 18.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chris is still watching this kid go.

At the tournment back a few years ago, BC won the Bronze in an epic battle with Alberta.  We all stayed to watch Iroquois Nation go against Ontario.  Truly David vs Goliath.  I’m literally getting goose bumps as I type this remembering the game.

The Ontario team was HUGE.  They have a massive population and they could have had 3 or 4 top teams and still been competitive.  The Iroquois team was small.  But they didn’t give up.

I know they made a big impact on the BC boys watching.  In many ways it was the early days of Be The Best.

Yes, Iroquois did prevail to win the gold in one of the most fantastic lacrosse games I’ve ever seen.

Here’s Johnny doing his thing today.  I’m wearing my purple Iroquois t-shirt with pride today and still have the hand- made wooden lacrosse sticks dangling from the rear view mirror of our car.

Watch a little Be The Best in action…and this kid is only beginning.

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Be The Best.

I Remember

i remember

 

i remember each september

when the summer sun still glows;

i remember each october

when the winds begin to blow;

i remember each november

when the leafs are painted red;

i remember each december

when through the snow we tread;

whatever the month

whatever the day

whatever we’re doing

wherever we stay

you are loved loved loved

forever and always

 

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Be The Best.

Can you Skype from heaven Mr. Jobs?

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving.  I realize that is a hard concept for those south of the 49th parallel, but for those that embrace a more North American approach, you can have turkey in Oct and then again in late November if you plan your family gatherings properly!

We had a big dinner on the Friesen side of the family last night.  Lots of laughs, ping-pong and of course Chris was never far from our thoughts.

During the latter part of dinner we Skyped Steve and Meggan in South Carolina.  I know many families are doing this regularly, but I still love the concept of passing a wireless connected laptop (a Mac of course) around the table and for the next 45 minutes of the call it was if the miles were erased.  They had a conversation with each of the 20 people present and it felt like the family was more complete!

With the passing of Steve Jobs this past week, I began to wonder last night if he would continue his amazing technology push on the other side of our human existence.  Could we maybe Skype to heaven in the future?  I know it sounds crazy, but I’m only half joking.  If anyone can do it, it will be Steve Jobs…and when he does, I hope that Chris has signed up to be a beta tester.

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Father’s Day – y2

Can’t believe it was a year ago today that Max took me to the newly opened Empire Field for a BC Lions preseason game.  What a great day.  Here’s a link to that post.

I talked with my Dad this evening and it’s great to hear his voice strong and stronger.  He wrote a famous list called 70 things to do now that I’m 70.  He’s doing so well I’m expecting an 80 things to do now that I’m 80 very soon.

He inspired a certain Max to write a 20 things to do now that I’m 20 just weeks ago.

Very cool.

Today I had a long talk with one of my sons.  We talked about life now and life in the future.  We shared some laughs about the past…silly stories and stuff that makes our family what it is.  As always we shared how much we care for each other…things that don’t change…NO MATTER WHAT.

I did the same with Max and we were able to share a great bike ride and play some basketball too.

Pretty cool all around.

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day v2 – a different perspective

After I wrote the Mom’s Day blog on Sunday, we headed out for an afternoon White Rock beach walk…but not before a stop at Chris’ wall.

We’ve been there many times by now and although there were no services going on at the time, it was like rush hour at the facility.

At first we didn’t get it and then it became incredibly obvious.  Families had come out to remember their Moms and Grandmas.  Fresh flowers were everywhere.  If it wasn’t a cemetery I would say it was beautiful.

Actually…I take that last comment back.  It was beautiful.  The beauty was not the marking of death and passing, but rather the symbol of remembrance and respect.  I can only imagine, but as people stood by the markers of their loved ones, they were thinking about how that person had affected their own lives and how they would live on to honour and respect that memory.

As we were leaving, a man in his 40’s we guess came with his aging Dad (their physical resemblance was uncanny).  They approached the wall and we didn’t see where they went, but we’re pretty sure it was to acknowledge a wife and mother.

Mother’s Day in the cemetery.  Hadn’t really thought of it before.  As sad as it could be, it was also pretty amazing to see the influence these women had on their families in some cases generations later.

That’s a pretty special legacy.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day

I can hardly believe it’s been a year since I wrote these words:

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

Those words are all true again this year.

This past 52 weeks has seen my Dad and then my Mom battle health issues that made them over-acquainted with hospital beds and our health care system in general.

Thankfully, as of this week, they are both at home after a few months away for Dad and almost a month for Mom.

As I told my Mom recently, her battle to fight for her health and to fight to look after Dad was and is incredible.  I know much of my own work ethic comes from this woman who on a usual Sunday back in the day would have made lunch for 20 people, taught a Sunday School lesson, braided three sets of hair (no, mine was not one of them…) and sang in the choir.  And that was all before 2pm.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

To my Mom-in-law Grace, we often think of the days you walked with Max and Chris to the bus at our old place before and after school.  Those after school snacks were legendary as was the interaction you had with the boys.  Those are special moments that live forever.

Today as Ingrid spends some not-that-often one on one time with Max (he took her out for brunch and a walk), I reflect on her journey.  I stand beside her as she places a single white rose on Chris’ wall as we remember.  I watch in awe as she so proudly talks about both her sons and has the grace and determination to continue with life’s journey.

As any parents, we are excited and wondering where Max will go and what he will do as he turns the corner into adulthood.  We remember Chris with each step and know he continues to be with us in spirit and as we remember all the other Moms, especially today, that have suffered the loss of a child…we join with you in the excitement of the day when we will be reunited with our loved ones.

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

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Be The Best.

Run hard for your kids.

I read this article in my Thursday morning Province paper and it threw off my morning routine.

I usually glance through the headlines looking for work related issues, but the front page story caught me and I ended up reading the whole thing.  It caused me to eat my cornflakes 4 minutes later than usual, causing an equal time delay in the tea making and subsequent vehicle extraction from the garage…but I digress.

You can read the article for yourself at this link.

It’s about Norma Mastidas, a 43 year old BC Mom who took up running ultramarathons when her son began to go blind.

It’s a sad but happy story filled with HOPE!  It’s got BE THE BEST all over it!

Here’s a quote:

Documentary producer Kyra Thompson says Bastidas is “really an incredible woman.”

“She isn’t part of any giant organization -she is just one person having an impact on the world, literally one step at a time,” Thompson said.

“So many parents’ worst nightmare would be to receive the kind of news she did and to feel helpless. But she was able to turn it around and set such a great example for her sons about never giving up and helping others. If that is not extraordinary, I don’t know what is.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/health/Running+hard+kids/4688430/story.html#ixzz1L4r9zW9O
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Be The Best.

Now that was something.

AC (Cathy AJ Hardy) put on her CD release concert last night.

It was great to see so many people there including many blog readers!

I hate it when your little sister can make you cry, but the song she sang for Chris last night melted the pieces of my heart.

Ingrid and I recently met with a strong woman who had experienced the loss of her son over a decade ago.

The first thing I noticed about her was her eyes.  Determined.  Deep.  Questioning but peaceful.

I loved that presence.

Sure, there were unanswered questions, but that same theme came up as it has again and again.

She had made choices about her future as she moved forward.

AC’s concert was all about the journey.

It was all about making decisions even though the path wasn’t always clear.

Generally speaking we’ll never have all the data to make ‘perfect’ decisions.

We simply continue to choose and move forward toward our goal.

Here’s a few pics.