Tag: Parent

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Be The Best.

Ski lessons from an 81 year-old

Now technically, my Dad is not 81 until Thursday…and ski lessons from an 80 year-old has a nice ring to it as well, but in honour of the upcoming day we’ll go with 81!

I wrote a Valentines Day/Birthday post last year at this time about Dad and Mom and Dad’s 80th.

Then the world got very interesting for them.

Both Mom and Dad were very ill and ended up in different parts of the hospital at the same time.

Their recovery was equally amazing and although my Dad had a few more surgeries than expected and now lives with an ileostomy and Mom continues her chemo fight…you’d probably have a hard time figuring that out.

Why?

Well, Mom is walking around town to her appointments, hiking and volunteering at a local thrift store and Dad is speaking to groups of seniors and others about his experiences and oh yah, going skiing!

I didn’t hear this week’s report, but last Friday night after a layoff of over a year, the boards were slapped on as this soon to be 81 years young Great Grandfather hit the slopes.

Now that’s a ski lesson for all of us, whether we ski or not.

Mom and Dad, we wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

And Dad…a very happy 81st on Thursday!!

Dec 29, 2010 at Blackie Spit. Video link above.
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Be The Best.

Father’s Day – y2

Can’t believe it was a year ago today that Max took me to the newly opened Empire Field for a BC Lions preseason game.  What a great day.  Here’s a link to that post.

I talked with my Dad this evening and it’s great to hear his voice strong and stronger.  He wrote a famous list called 70 things to do now that I’m 70.  He’s doing so well I’m expecting an 80 things to do now that I’m 80 very soon.

He inspired a certain Max to write a 20 things to do now that I’m 20 just weeks ago.

Very cool.

Today I had a long talk with one of my sons.  We talked about life now and life in the future.  We shared some laughs about the past…silly stories and stuff that makes our family what it is.  As always we shared how much we care for each other…things that don’t change…NO MATTER WHAT.

I did the same with Max and we were able to share a great bike ride and play some basketball too.

Pretty cool all around.

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day v2 – a different perspective

After I wrote the Mom’s Day blog on Sunday, we headed out for an afternoon White Rock beach walk…but not before a stop at Chris’ wall.

We’ve been there many times by now and although there were no services going on at the time, it was like rush hour at the facility.

At first we didn’t get it and then it became incredibly obvious.  Families had come out to remember their Moms and Grandmas.  Fresh flowers were everywhere.  If it wasn’t a cemetery I would say it was beautiful.

Actually…I take that last comment back.  It was beautiful.  The beauty was not the marking of death and passing, but rather the symbol of remembrance and respect.  I can only imagine, but as people stood by the markers of their loved ones, they were thinking about how that person had affected their own lives and how they would live on to honour and respect that memory.

As we were leaving, a man in his 40’s we guess came with his aging Dad (their physical resemblance was uncanny).  They approached the wall and we didn’t see where they went, but we’re pretty sure it was to acknowledge a wife and mother.

Mother’s Day in the cemetery.  Hadn’t really thought of it before.  As sad as it could be, it was also pretty amazing to see the influence these women had on their families in some cases generations later.

That’s a pretty special legacy.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day

I can hardly believe it’s been a year since I wrote these words:

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

Those words are all true again this year.

This past 52 weeks has seen my Dad and then my Mom battle health issues that made them over-acquainted with hospital beds and our health care system in general.

Thankfully, as of this week, they are both at home after a few months away for Dad and almost a month for Mom.

As I told my Mom recently, her battle to fight for her health and to fight to look after Dad was and is incredible.  I know much of my own work ethic comes from this woman who on a usual Sunday back in the day would have made lunch for 20 people, taught a Sunday School lesson, braided three sets of hair (no, mine was not one of them…) and sang in the choir.  And that was all before 2pm.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

To my Mom-in-law Grace, we often think of the days you walked with Max and Chris to the bus at our old place before and after school.  Those after school snacks were legendary as was the interaction you had with the boys.  Those are special moments that live forever.

Today as Ingrid spends some not-that-often one on one time with Max (he took her out for brunch and a walk), I reflect on her journey.  I stand beside her as she places a single white rose on Chris’ wall as we remember.  I watch in awe as she so proudly talks about both her sons and has the grace and determination to continue with life’s journey.

As any parents, we are excited and wondering where Max will go and what he will do as he turns the corner into adulthood.  We remember Chris with each step and know he continues to be with us in spirit and as we remember all the other Moms, especially today, that have suffered the loss of a child…we join with you in the excitement of the day when we will be reunited with our loved ones.

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

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Be The Best.

Run hard for your kids.

I read this article in my Thursday morning Province paper and it threw off my morning routine.

I usually glance through the headlines looking for work related issues, but the front page story caught me and I ended up reading the whole thing.  It caused me to eat my cornflakes 4 minutes later than usual, causing an equal time delay in the tea making and subsequent vehicle extraction from the garage…but I digress.

You can read the article for yourself at this link.

It’s about Norma Mastidas, a 43 year old BC Mom who took up running ultramarathons when her son began to go blind.

It’s a sad but happy story filled with HOPE!  It’s got BE THE BEST all over it!

Here’s a quote:

Documentary producer Kyra Thompson says Bastidas is “really an incredible woman.”

“She isn’t part of any giant organization -she is just one person having an impact on the world, literally one step at a time,” Thompson said.

“So many parents’ worst nightmare would be to receive the kind of news she did and to feel helpless. But she was able to turn it around and set such a great example for her sons about never giving up and helping others. If that is not extraordinary, I don’t know what is.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/health/Running+hard+kids/4688430/story.html#ixzz1L4r9zW9O
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Be The Best.

Yearnin for Vernon

My Dad used that phrase a lot to help my Mom support the vision of a Vernon retirement about 13 years ago.

I’m Yearnin for Vernon he would say.

After another weekend visit, I’ll say I love Vernon, but I’m yearnin not to go up there every other weekend…!

We took the beautiful drive from Sun Peaks through Kamloops to Vernon Jubilee Hospital where we saw not one, but two parents on different floors.

Then something cool happened.

Dad was well enough to go for an adventure, and after Grace paved the way with the Nurses looking after Mom, Max and Ingrid negotiated a wheel chair and we took Dad to see his bride.  He told us he may be emotional and he was a bit.  These two still are deeply in love after 55 years plus…really great to see.

We also showed Mom and Dad the video from yesterday’s blog and Dad’s skis at the chapel in the sky at the top of Sun Peaks.  That was sort of cool.

Mom’s immunity continues low because of chemo treatment but her spirit was a strong as ever.  Currently a severe ear infection has her hospitalized.  As hard as it was to see her in a hospital bed, she’s getting good care.

Dad is unattached from all hoses and tubes which is a great thing!  He is moving on to short-term care in another facility before heading home once Mom is more fully recovered.

Someone asked me what more our family could take given the past year with losing Chris and current circumstances with my folks and my sister’s heart attack.

That answer is relatively simple.

Some things we can control and some are not within our control.

But…the one thing we ALWAYS control is our ability to make the next decision.  Simple things like making the decision to head to Vernon today.  I was very happy to have the chance for Max to see and talk with his Grandma and Grandpa with Ingrid as well.

You can’t buy those moments.  Every one is exceedingly special.

In a light-hearted exchange I told Dad that Max would be voting for the first time this election and that he was voting for the Green party (not that there is anything wrong with that!).  My Dad is a staunch Reformer/Conservative complete with official calendars of Stephen Harper wearing what appears to be a different sweater each month.  The look that Dad shot at Max was priceless and then Max admitted he was actually probably leaning towards Mark Warawa (Conservative), but he might need a calendar.  No problem Dad said, he had an extra.

Dad floats between that kind of sharpness and some less sharp times but his colour is good and the prognosis is pretty decent at this stage.

For every conversation and every ability to share a laugh…we are exceptionally thankful.  We controlled the ability to have that moment and took it.

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

My 3, no 4 kids.

I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

I knew Dad was in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

I knew my sister Grace was in the ICU.

I ‘knew’ it, but I didn’t ‘know’ it if that makes any sense.

It was sort of inconceivable that two family members would land in the ICU.

Grace is recovering from a heart attack last weekend and is doing well all things considered.  We spent a lot of time together today and she is grateful and thankful and will make a very strong recovery with the help of her Doctors and her family.

We moved from Grace’s room to Dad’s room, just around the corner in the ICU.

At one point Val (my 2nd oldest sister) and Cathy (AC, the youngest sister) held Dad’s hand and I stood at the foot of his bed.

Cathy said something like ‘Dad, you’ve got your three kids here…isn’t that great’?

Dad without skipping a beat said, ‘No, I have four.  Grace is here too.’

Yes…Dad was right on.  All four of his kids were there.  Val, Cathy and Randy in the room and Grace just around the corner in a room of her own!

After a bit of conversation Dad dropped this nugget as we talked about life in general.

‘Life is too short not to live the dream’.

WOW.

That’s some deep stuff.

Thanks Dad.

That’s a Be The Best moment.

Yes, life IS too short not to live the dream.

Love it.

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Be The Best.

I see you.

I turned to one of my favourite poems this week.  Ok, I only know a few poems and most start with Roses are Red and Violets are Blue, so maybe this doesn’t count, but I love that Invictus poem that you’ve seen here before.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

There is something so empowering in that text.  The mindset of continuing to make decisions about my own outlook despite whatever comes my way…that is the power of that poem to me.  I am the captain of my soul.

My sister Grace who lives in Vernon and was very active in helping with Mom and Dad suffered a heart attack this past weekend.  What? Really? Yes…out of the blue.

Ironically, she is in the ICU just a couple of doors down from Dad.

He continues to fight hard, but is up and down.

Mom wrote an email yesterday that made us laugh at the visuals of Dad being encouraged to walk with the aid of a walker, going down the hall in the ICU and stopping at Grace’s door and saying Hi Grace!  I called her on her cell and laughed with her too at that story.

We are scared to ask, what next?

Grace is doing pretty good and under excellent medical care as is Dad.

I see you.

ICU.

Yup, I’ll see you in the ICU.

I said to Mom that this was like our own personal tsunami sort of.  These forces of nature pounding our family at this point.  Of course our hearts go out to the families in Japan coping with loss from the real earthquake and tsunami and we wish them the strong HOPE for recovery and the future as discussed yesterday.

For our family, we will continue to regroup, rethink, revise and re-engineer as we move forward.

Dad and Grace…get ready for some hospital scrabble this weekend.

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Be The Best.

The best day ever.

There has been an ongoing little joke in our family for years.

My Dad is a pretty positive guy especially when it comes to stuff like ping-pong, tennis and skiing.

The joke is that if you’d ask him how his day was on the slopes for example, he would always say…GREAT, the best ever.

Each trip, it seems, would outdo the previous.

Now where it got funny was we knew some of the days weren’t that great.  If you’ve skied in a minus 20 degree day of an Okanagan winter or the liquid snow of Hemlock Valley or the driving sleet of a December day on Mt. Baker you know what I mean.

On those days if you asked him how his day had been he’d say…GREAT, one of the best ever!

Notice the subtle difference?

On this Saturday, having survived a very tough Thursday night and sensitive emergency surgery, he noted to my sisters Grace and Val that this was one of his BEST WEEKENDS EVER.  He was indeed very alive and got to spend it with his bride…and of course a couple of his kids.

Interesting perspective…and I love it.

That’s a hospital bed BE THE BEST moment direct from the ICU.

Nice work Dad.  We’ll call that your living sermon for this week and give you the day off tomorrow!