Tag: road trip

Categories
Be The Best.

How to make today great.

Chris and Max jump the California surf (summer 2009)

I slept pretty well, but woke up early…like 4am early.

Is that an oxymoronish statement?  Maybe…but it’s an interesting insight into our world.

I did sleep well, just not all that long.

Today is not necessarily a great day…or is it?

Obviously as we mark one year to the day that we lost Chris there are a lot of emotions flowing through our minds and bodies.  We wish so deeply we could give him a real hug and see him again here on earth.  But we can’t.

But we can continue to make choices.  We can continue to live with a strong purpose.  We can use Chris’ passion to fuel us on our journeys.  We can continue to strive to Be The Best in everything we do.

Here’s three things that can help make today great.

1. Hug someone you love today.  (if you’re at work, make sure this isn’t an awkward moment..!!) 😉

2. Give something away. (not money…I’m talking about a smile, your expertise, a compliment, word of encouragement)

3. Live on purpose with purpose. This is the core of the Be The Best thinking.

Is today going to be hard? Probably…they all are.

Is today going to be great? With every ‘I’m the Captain of my Soul’ ounce of energy I have, I will keep making decisions all day long to make this day as great as possible.  One of the ‘greatest ever’.

(To understand that last paragraph you need to reference the Invictus blogs and The Best Day Ever blog)

Sort of makes saying, ‘Have a Great Day!’ a little deeper doesn’t it?

I THANK all of you for your support reading this blog and your thoughts and prayers throughout this year.

Be The Best.

Categories
Be The Best.

My 3, no 4 kids.

I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

I knew Dad was in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

I knew my sister Grace was in the ICU.

I ‘knew’ it, but I didn’t ‘know’ it if that makes any sense.

It was sort of inconceivable that two family members would land in the ICU.

Grace is recovering from a heart attack last weekend and is doing well all things considered.  We spent a lot of time together today and she is grateful and thankful and will make a very strong recovery with the help of her Doctors and her family.

We moved from Grace’s room to Dad’s room, just around the corner in the ICU.

At one point Val (my 2nd oldest sister) and Cathy (AC, the youngest sister) held Dad’s hand and I stood at the foot of his bed.

Cathy said something like ‘Dad, you’ve got your three kids here…isn’t that great’?

Dad without skipping a beat said, ‘No, I have four.  Grace is here too.’

Yes…Dad was right on.  All four of his kids were there.  Val, Cathy and Randy in the room and Grace just around the corner in a room of her own!

After a bit of conversation Dad dropped this nugget as we talked about life in general.

‘Life is too short not to live the dream’.

WOW.

That’s some deep stuff.

Thanks Dad.

That’s a Be The Best moment.

Yes, life IS too short not to live the dream.

Love it.

Categories
Be The Best.

What’s the future?

December 2009.

I had been contacted by a writer to answer some questions for a profile on a blog/website.

I hadn’t reread this until last week when circumstances caused me to find it in my sent file.

This was only 3 months before we lost Chris.

Obviously there is some irony in the answers…looking forward to the future, kids in college etc.

However…and it’s a BIG HOWEVER, the core of these answers remains as true today as the 2009 December evening on which they were written

The questions are not mine.  The answers are…and I stand by each one even today as we journey forward.

We don’t know our exact futures, but I do believe we can know why we do what we do.

We can know what’s important to us.

Here’s an exact word for word excerpt with professional/education/work related questions and answers removed for the sake of brevity.

—————————-

What is your proudest accomplishment?
My family. Through the ups and downs of babies, young kids and now young men (18 and 16), my wife and I are seeing our boys begin their adult journeys that we believe will help change the world positively through their actions and relationships.  My family is truly my greatest accomplishment and everything else to me is icing on the cake!

What is your foremost passion?
Creating art with music, watercolour and people.  I used to think my passions and hobbies were very diverse and perhaps they are, but the core is very similar.  I find myself again and again playing the role of a conductor, arranger, or producer.  With music and art, I mix music tracks or colours…each on their own telling only part of the story, but absolutely integral to the story.  The same is true for my management style, I believe.  Each person and relationship is integral to the overall success of the department, division or organization.  When you have the different components working together, that is when you have achieved a song, painting or highly functional working environment.

What are three random things no one knows about you?
That I have a music album on jamendo.com
I used to clean carpets for a living
I will squash you at ping pong

What do you want people to know about you that they don’t already?
My masters thesis centered on the topic of the interplay between change management and knowledge management. What? Yah, I didn’t understand it much either.  I’ve worked a lot in the area of change in my career.  I’ve found that we (managers, business owners) often underestimate the human element and the human power when change is present.  Relationships are the key to everything.  You can systemize, model, and even lead, but ultimately if the people are not ready and willing to come with you, change will be short lived or non-existent.  I believe we all have a HUGE impact on people’s lives.  Simple words and actions followed with consistent behaviour over time are the real ingredients to successful change.

Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years?
5 years – BCIT classrooms overflowing with students, my clients prospering, my kids solidly in college.
10 years – Readying for early ‘retirement’ from day job to concentrate on writing, teaching, speaking and the arts….oh and wife says we have to go to Europe for 6 months
20 years – 4 months in Hawaii, 8 months in Canada – changing the world, one relationship at a time.

Categories
Be The Best.

Circles

I’ve been thinking about circles lately.

You know I love sunsets, but did you know this?  The sun’s diameter is 1.4 million kilometers.

That’s a big circle, or I guess sphere would be the more appropriate word.

I’ve thought so many times of Chris’ beautiful eyes and how they are living on and helping to give a young transplant patient improved sight.  I love those small circles of light.

I looked down last week at the desk on which I write this tonight.  There are salty circles that have stained the table, the sometimes unavoidable outcome of overflowing eyes.

I also think of the circle of life and sometimes how big and sometimes how small it can be.

Our hearts break for the family of 12-year-old budding hockey player Coleton Nelson who was killed in a car accident this weekend here in Valley.

That circle of life was way too short.

So was Chris’.  A short circle of life, but oh so big.

Circles.  Big.

Circles.  Small.

Circles.

Do me a favour and give your kids a great big hug tonight!

If you’re a kid reading this, it’s ok to tell your folks you sorta luv them too!!

Be The Best.

Categories
Be The Best.

An intro to two.

I’m going to intro you to a couple of people that I don’t know.

But..with the world of social media, the web CAN be an amazing place to connect on the journey of the new normal.

The first is Steve Ewen.

I’ve never met him.

He’s a reporter with the Vancouver Province and he’s battling cancer.  It’s a tough battle.  He’s called his blog, ‘I’m sad and mad about getting cancer’.  Actually no…he hasn’t.  His blog is called, Crush the Tumour with Humour.

It’s some amazing stories of someone going through a very tough fight but remaining positive and using humour to negotiate the new normal he and his wife find themselves living.  If I can figure it out, I’ll add it to my ‘links’ section, but here’s a quick direct link if you want to check it out.  Here’s an excerpt from today:

The bad news is that the new stitches in my back has led to our surgeon, Dr. Robert Lee, limiting my arm movements for the next two weeks. The really bad news, at least for the people at G.F. Strong and the general public around King Ed and Laurel in Vancouver, is that they’ve given me a power wheelchair.
Oh. Mercy. Think of the havoc I can cause with a motor and wheels?

Keep rockin it Steve!

The second link is from Gillian Berg, the Mission mom who lost her husband and father of their four children at Christmas.  Her writing is deep, spiritual and an amazing work of strength and vulnerability rolled into one.  An excerpt from her latest:

Last night, as my daughter asked for help, begged for prayers that would take her fear away, the fear that something else might happen, the fear that she is still in danger, I realized again that like the work needed to heal the physical wounds, there was going to be gruelling work needed to heal the emotional ones.

We, each one of us, will have to choose to stand slowly, painfully upon the limbs of our broken dreams; to endure the attacks of relentless discouragement of working towards something new; to fight for something better, something healthier.

To Steve and Gillian I would say, we all haven’t chosen our situations.  It happened.  Life happens. There is no big answer to the ‘why’ question….at least not one that may be evident in this lifetime.  We”ll simply stand with you on your journey of the new normal as so many have and are standing with us.  This is a link to the first time the term ‘the new normal’ entered our lexicon.  It’s been a fixture ever since.

Categories
Be The Best.

A tattoo…for your car.

I know many of us remember Chris is so many different ways.  I still see many of those wrist band things when we’re out and about. Awesome.  We’ve worn ours every day for 10 1/2 months and I’m not sure when we’re ever going to stop.

I’ve seen more than one tattoo.  Cool. (again, from a parent’s perspective, we’re not pushing tattoos, but we understand the DEEP meaning of getting one and we are incredibly humbled and honoured when someone makes that personal decision to honour Chris in that way!!)

I’ve seen email accounts, twitter accounts and facebook stuff all acknowledging and remembering Chris.  Love it.

But one thing I had not seen…until now.

What would a tattoo for your car look like?

Well, I think Will VH, a good friend and lacrosse bud of Chris’, figured that out.

He just received the one and only set of CF 2 license plates in the entire province of British Columbia.

Cool.

Take a look at the pic below.  I think it says it all.

Love it Will.  Drive safe and Be The Best!

Categories
Be The Best.

Everyone wins in Sin City

What?

Everyone wins in Las Vegas right?

Of course not.

You’ve heard the other name for the town…Lost Wages.

What better place to take a bunch of underage kids for a lacrosse tournament!  Joking aside, the supervision for Burnaby Mountain Selects is always awesome and last time I checked, the fields weren’t right on the strip.

Guess what.  One of the squads…the U12 (so these are young men 12 years of age and under) won their entire division securing the victory with a come from behind win just hours ago.

That is fantastic and for all the teams, win or lose on the scoreboard, these tournaments just make you better.  The competition makes you stronger.  It’s all good.  Everyone wins.

And now for the completely unexpected.

The winners of this tournie get a cheque for $250.  I can think of a lot of things a team could buy.  All deserved.  Dinner, snacks, souvenirs, lacrosse gear, odor-be-gone for lacrosse bags, etc 🙂

Guess what they just did?

Donated the whole thing to Chris’ fund.

Here’s the pic to prove it just an hour or so ago. (see link below)

I’ve talked a lot about giving and grieving and how those go together.  This gift to us is so amazing beyond any dollar amount.  What an amazing gift.

THANK YOU boys.  THANK YOU Joyce, Brent and Jeff and the entire BMS gang.

Be The Best!

We are humbled, proud and grateful.

I think Chris might just bodycheck someone up in heaven tonight in your honour…if that’s allowed…wait, I’ll check with Rev. Jake (Chris’ Grandpa) cause I’m pretty sure there’s a lacrosse section up there!  In fact I know there is…I just wasn’t sure on the bodychecking rule…

Here’s the link to the pic: http://yfrog.com/h23kqupj

Categories
Be The Best.

Summer Blogs

A little piece of heaven in Nanoose Bay on Vancouver Island (Aug 2010)

As we head into the last few weeks of August you get that sense of changing seasons.

Whether it’s the CHRISTMAS DISPLAYS AT COSTCO, back-to-school stuff everywhere, or those amazing August evenings that magically cool to just the right outside temperature at about 9pm when the sun sets and gets ready for the next show just a few hours away…you get the feeling that change is in the air!

As I wrote yesterday, I like to take some time to look forward, but also like to reflect on where we’ve been.

On occasion I go through some old blog posts.  It’s an amazing way to see the journey and progress that’s been made.  The days and weeks have ups and downs, but I think if we see things over time the general flow of the chart is in a slow but progressive move in a positive direction!

Check these few posts from June:

Empowered gov’t workers help us on our journey.

His Band and Wife.

Roy’s in San Diego.

Sunsets.

All pieces of the puzzle.

All steps on the journey.

Thanks for continuing to share the voyage with us.

Categories
Be The Best.

The Deception of the New Normal

Ingrid and I were at Deception Pass today spending time with the Ethanator, his sister Emily and their wonderful parents Selena and Frank  (Ingrid’s brother).

Sunset at Deception (with lousy bberry camera!)

I know I’ve said this about other places, but the 2-hour drive south of Vancouver on the 1-5 and then west towards Anacortes and then to Whidbey Island and Deception Pass is worth every minute.  If you get a chance go.  Better yet, make yourself a chance…and then go!

The State Park there is incredible and many Canadians and Americans spend some great time camping or simply enjoying the fresh water lake and the ocean on the other side of the sand spit.

We’ve spent a bunch of time down there over the years most notably with Max and Chris.

I’ve loaded a picture up of Chris getting repairs after slipping off a log during a fort building exercise on the beach when he was a young buck.  Nurse Ingrid is administering the first aid.

Today we were in that exact spot.  Sitting on that exact beach.  Kids had built a fort with the exact bunch of logs that have been there for years if not decades.  Ethan showed me the fort and we built a sand castle together and then just watched the waves and tide do their thing all afternoon eventually washing our sand castle into the ocean leaving us with great memories and the possibility of building new sand castles tomorrow when the tide goes out again.

A young Chris gets repairs at Deception Pass. He was convinced band-aids made things better, so Nurse Ingrid was liberal in her 'treatment' including the green dot on his head!

It was old normal meets new normal.  The ‘deception’ is (besides the tie to Deception Pass and my ongoing need to fuel my insatiable pun appetite) is that the New Normal may look easy.  It might look easy but of course it isn’t.

While we were on the beach I received a message via Blackberry about a comment on the Blog.  Please read it in the comment section below.  It’s from someone I don’t know, but Karen has been sharing this journey and been on her own  journey for 10 years since her husband passed away.  As both Karen and ourselves have experienced, the new normal isn’t easy and sometimes I don’t like it much as I’ve indicated several times in this blog!

That being said, I’m more convinced than ever that the new normal is what I want to continue to strive for, knowing that it may look deceptively simple at times but isn’t, and will continue to be a series of decisions on a daily basis for 10 years and more!

We’re standing with you too Karen.  God Bless.

Categories
Be The Best.

Golf and Being The Best.

I retired from golf this year and got a bike.

Problem: good friends (Ark, Gourd, and Bwaad – names changed to protect their livelihoods) insisted that a little weekend away to Osoyoos would be a good thing.

That was last weekend…and it was a good thing, except for the golf.

I thought of Be The Best many times as I lined up a triple bogey chip to get on the green.

Take a look at this picture.  This is me on the golf course.  One problem.  Do you see a fairway?  Do you see the green?  Do you even see the golf course?  No.  You see a huge bunch of grapes growing with my ball somewhere embedded in them.  I pity the fool who buys a nice bottle of wine only to pour a golf ball into their glass.

Sometimes Be The Best, may indeed be the understanding that a change of direction is a good decision!

That being said, I wouldn’t have changed the weekend at all.  It was a great one and another way of slowly building to the new normal.  These guys have stood with us throughout our journey and along with all of you form our army of support as we march forward.

Here’s a hint about tomorrow:  A certain kid named Max is turning 19…I was never much of a subtle foreshadower….