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Be The Best.

I love losing.

Now that is a complete lie.

Except for today…just a little bit.

Max (our oldest son) is studying at BCIT.  This gives us the unique opportunity to see him multiple times during any given week.

Today he had an hour between classes and joined our weekly staff basketball game down at the gym.

He was my check and I’d like to say I schooled him, but the video evidence (thankfully there wasn’t any) would prove differently.

He played very well and his team beat our team.

I hate losing and I hated it today, but I did have the conscious thought that I maybe hated it just a little bit less because I had the amazing privilege to play basketball with my kid.

Pretty cool, I thought, as I kicked the ball in frustration after losing by a lousy 2 points.

Anyone have time for another game?

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Be The Best.

Who is Ron Venne? (hint: BCIT and Canucks)

When I was a BCIT student back in the late 1980’s I had an instructor who inspired me.

He loved market research and that was what had drawn me back to post secondary as a ‘mature’ (insert your own joke here) student.

He had connections.  We worked with Canadian Holidays interviewing customers coming back from vacation in Cancun.  Yes, along with 2 other students, we flew down to Cancun, left the plane because of custom issues, stayed at the airport for 2 hours and then reboarded the plane and interviewed returning vacationers who had just spent one or two weeks in the sun.  People thought we were crazy, but I loved it.  The pilot announced that BCIT students were heading down the aisles passing out surveys and I just thought the whole thing was cool.

Months later I was privileged enough to be in the Boardroom of Whistler/Blackcomb presenting another research report that we had conducted as students…actually interviewing people on the ski hill while going up the chairlift or at the restaurant.

Ron also had connections with the Canucks and although that didn’t occur during my stint as a student, BCIT was very connected with the organization.

Ron evenutally left BCIT and has sadly passed away a numbers of years back, but I will NEVER forget him or his influence on me.

Fast forward to last night, Oct 1, 2011.

We’ve been rekindling the relationship with the Canucks and I was very excited to have a group of students and staff working the concourse levels of Roger’s arena, creating hockey cards for kids and connecting with our alumni.

What made it even more cool was Max was one of the student volunteers as he is now in BCIT’s Broadcasting program.

In talking to our students helping out last night, it was obvious that the connection with the Canucks was a big deal and that kind of linkage between BCIT and the Canucks brand is pretty unique.

For me I loved the fact that we are connected again.  I thought of Ron Venne and the influence one person can have.  I thought of Chris and his continuing impact.  I not only thought of Max, but saw him in action and thought about how privileged I am to be able to experience that.

Thanks Ron….you are never forgotten.  Be The Best!

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Be The Best.

Easter Sunday, and so it begins…v2

I wrote a post with that same title, ‘Easter Sunday, and so it begins’ on Easter Sunday 2010.

Although over a year has passed and we’ve marked a year from Chris passing date and service date, today marks a very important milestone as well.

Since beginning this blog last Easter Sunday, individual blog posts have been read over 127,000 times.

I get that most people still to this day don’t really know what to say or how to say it.  But as therapeutic as writing these posts day after day and week after week has been, it’s been amazing to know that a silent army stands alongside.

I love that.

I read with interest an essay in the Vancouver Sun over morning coffee yesterday.

It was titled, ‘The Biology of hope bolsters Easter’s central message’.  I’ve linked here if you have time to peruse.

I love this little excerpt:

These definitions make clear hope should not be confused with blind optimism.

When we are suffering or fearful, our hopes may often be dim, but they must include reasonable expectation.

Hope is distinguished from mere wishing. We can wish for financial wealth, or a cure for our loved one’s cancer, a dictator to be vanquished or a sudden end to global warming. But sometimes wishes are not realistic.

“Wishing are words and left brain,” Vaillant writes.

“In contrast, hope is made up of images and is rooted in the right brain. Wishing on a star takes no effort. Hope often requires enormous effort and shapes real lives.”

The transcendent quality of hope points to why researchers are coming to realize it is not only an emotion. It is a virtue.

As such, it must be cultivated, especially when times are toughest.

When I wrote the post, ‘Hope is an action word’, Chris’ amazing friend (who’s name is Hope) wrote a fantastic comment.  It simply said, ‘I am Hope’.

Yes you are.  Hope…you are Hope!

If you don’t mind, we are trying to be a little Hope-like ourselves!

The thing that really struck me about this article in the Sun was that in order for Hope to be Hope and not just a wish or dream, is that it required ACTION.

HOPE, DECISIONS, ACTION.

As I said on Friday, it’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

Of course Sunday is here for Easter 2011, but we wait and live with HOPE for our next ‘Sunday’ with Chris whenever that will be.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Biology+hope+bolsters+Easter+central+message/4663871/story.html#ixzz1KRrA9apN

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Be The Best.

My 3, no 4 kids.

I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

I knew Dad was in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

I knew my sister Grace was in the ICU.

I ‘knew’ it, but I didn’t ‘know’ it if that makes any sense.

It was sort of inconceivable that two family members would land in the ICU.

Grace is recovering from a heart attack last weekend and is doing well all things considered.  We spent a lot of time together today and she is grateful and thankful and will make a very strong recovery with the help of her Doctors and her family.

We moved from Grace’s room to Dad’s room, just around the corner in the ICU.

At one point Val (my 2nd oldest sister) and Cathy (AC, the youngest sister) held Dad’s hand and I stood at the foot of his bed.

Cathy said something like ‘Dad, you’ve got your three kids here…isn’t that great’?

Dad without skipping a beat said, ‘No, I have four.  Grace is here too.’

Yes…Dad was right on.  All four of his kids were there.  Val, Cathy and Randy in the room and Grace just around the corner in a room of her own!

After a bit of conversation Dad dropped this nugget as we talked about life in general.

‘Life is too short not to live the dream’.

WOW.

That’s some deep stuff.

Thanks Dad.

That’s a Be The Best moment.

Yes, life IS too short not to live the dream.

Love it.

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Be The Best.

I need a laugh…

Not too much is funny right now.

Dad is fighting away in ICU and Grace is a few doors down on the road to recovery.

That being said, the gift of laughter, even on our darkest days has been like rays of sunshine in a dark place.

Maybe Chris knew we needed a little laugh this week too.

I was scrambling for some business cards in an office drawer that I don’t use too much when I noticed a couple of sheets of paper.  I pulled them out and looked at them.  They were photocopies of a picture that Chris had drawn for me when he was about 11 or 12 I think.

Jim Mitchell, my very good friend, mentor and colleague at BCIT (now retired…way too young I might add), was like a big brother to me.  Which meant we had lots of laughs and played lots of sports etc.  There was the odd wrestling match or other show of strength.

These sports stories would often become part of dinner conversation.  One night I asked Chris if he would draw a picture of me beating up Jim….just for fun.  I was half joking, but Chris got out his pencil and went to work.

He created the masterpiece you see below.

I laughed so hard then and I laughed again this week when this picture resurfaced.

At the time I quickly made 20 copies because I knew Jim would probably just rip them up as he found them.

Chris loved Jim too.  When Jim saw either of the boys he would stretch out his hand and get them to slap it as hard as they could and say…“That’s all you got??” And then repeat until their hands would sting so hard they would stop.  As Chris got older he loved those interactions, and I think I even saw Jim wince once…..

(but he’ll probably deny it)

Jim, you’re a great friend and I think Chris wanted us to have a little laugh this week…even if it was at your expense.  You gotta admit, I look pretty good in this picture.

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Be The Best.

The one minute video recap.

I had forgotten about some quick vid shots that Max and I had taken during the Maple Leaf Award dinner.

The one minute video recap is below.

As mentioned, Scott Rintoul from Team 1040 radio did a great job emceeing the event and it was great to meet him in person.

As a shameless BCIT plug, he’s a fantastic ambassador for the broadcasting programs (radio, journalism, tv) and we’re sure proud to have him as one of our Alumni.  For those readers of this blog who are making education and career decisions in the next few years (or parents), BCIT has an excellent Big Info night coming up on March 2.  I just double checked the weblink and my staff have put a very freaky looking picture of yours truly up on a vid that gives you a run-through of the event.  Ok…why am I telling you all this?  Of course, I love BCIT and what it does for people’s lives, but education of ALL FORMS is so critical to provide choice, options and opportunities for the future.  These sessions simply open up eyes and brains to a bigger understanding of what kind of possibilities exist in the world of education.  On a personal level, that’s a BIG DEAL for us as parents and I believe for us as a province and country as well.  Ok, enough already, I’m stepping down from the soapbox…!

The last frame of the Maple Leaf video is a picture of the quilt that was made for us by one of my BCIT staff colleagues in Marketing, Kim.  That became an instant family heirloom and something that we treasure at a very deep level.  It seemed fitting for Chris’ 32 to show at the end of this clip surrounded by his BMS teammates. The side of the quilt shown in the vid is made entirely of Burnaby Mountain Select jersies that were brought to Chris’ funeral as a sign of respect, honour and friendship at Chris’ funeral.

To see more about the quilt, you can read/view: 7 days to write about a quilt and then link to other quilt blogs.  For a while there I thought this was going to become a full-time quilting blog but thankfully I left that to quilting professionals.

As we move forward from the Maple Leaf Awards 2011 and the initial Chris Friesen Memorial Award, we are excited think about the thousands of dollars to be awarded in the future and more importantly the opportunity to inspire and challenge young men and women each year to BE THE BEST.

Here’s the vid:

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Be The Best.

Coat Cheque.

Chris, in red, takes on fellow BMSer in practice session.

Late yesterday afternoon we left BCIT and headed up the hill to Simon Fraser University.

We’ve done that drive many times.  Most of those times were to drop Chris and his fellow Burnaby Mountain Selects lax dudes off for a practice.  Then they would beat each other with sticks and run like crazy people and throw a hard rubber ball as intensely as they could at even crazier dudes who were the goalies!  Chris loved it.

Look at these pics from Aug 2009.  This was actually a practice down in New West, but these are all BMS players in a scrimmage.  Chris is red #32.  I love the picture where you can see him smiling through his mouth guard.  He loved playing defense.  I spoke to some of his teammates who said Chris would hurt you in practice and it was excellent, cause it made you better.  You knew he was giving 100% all the time…practice, scrimmage or championship game.

I just LOVE that smile.

Anyways, yesterday wasn’t a practice.

We were heading up to SFU to deliver the cheque that will be presented to the first receipient of the Chris Friesen Memorial Award in January 2011.  Wanda from the foundation at SFU met us and she has become a wonderful part of all the good that is happening and will continue to happen in Chris’ name.  With the fund over $30,000 and the first gift in place, the fund is now fully operational and will provide the first official payout based on interest earned from the fund in January 2012.  We cannot think about the fund or the legacy from the fund without thinking about everyone who contributed directly and indirectly to the fund and our family with love and care over the past 8 months.

That’s the cheque…the coat was today.

Our entrepreneurial marketing students at BCIT were having a fund raiser today with a silent auction and also having a coat drive.  Ingrid had a used coat and we also had one from Chris.  The thought of his coat keeping someone warm this winter makes us feel good, even though the very simple act of giving away his coat this afternoon was not the easiest thing that I’ve ever done.

Coat…Check.

Cheque…Check.

A good couple of days….hard….but good.

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Be The Best.

I don’t have time…

The best time to plant a tree is yesterday…the second best time is today.

I totally don’t have time to write this blog post, but I can’t go three days without posting!

I don’t know how many times in the past 7 months I have said to myself, I don’t have time to do these push-ups today.  Too rushed, too late, etc.  For the majority of the times I’ve thought that, the next step has been to get down on the floor and start pushing up!

In the time I could take to talk myself out of them, I’ve completed my 50 and I’m on my way.  I guess tonight’s blog is the same.  Crazy week, computer issues, etc.

Stop whining and start writing!

Yesterday was a very good day and a very bittersweet day.  We had a wonderful Big Info session at BCIT where 2900 people were on campus exploring their educational and career options.  A fantastic success.  The bittersweet part was seeing so many parents and their sons there.  Of course I thought of Chris 2900 times as I helped people with their questions.  I thought of his career path, goals and desires.  As it turned out, Max came down for the event and it was excellent to see him and have him exploring some longer term goals.  Very cool.

Happy.  Sad.  Good.  Bad.  Quite the recipe.

But in the end, the fulfillment of seeing the light go on with students is what makes this career so rewarding.  We will remind ourselves that Chris’ educational legacy at Simon Fraser University will help propel students to achieve their dreams every year starting this coming January…and that will go on forever.

I choose to end this discussion on that high note tonight!

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Be The Best.

Longboarding and Be The Best.

I was first introduced to longboarding (like skateboards, but longer!) a couple of years back by Vincent, an exchange student we had stay with us while Max was staying in Quebec at Vincent’s home.

I met a longboarder skating on the back roads of BCIT a few months later and we got to know each other.

I’ve written before about taking calculated risks and to make a long story short, that chance meeting with Patrick Switzer turned into a sponsorship relationship…the first of it’s kind in Canada and probably anywhere in the world between a longboarder and an educational institution.

Patrick flies down hills in races at 70, 80, and 90+ km/h.  It’s crazy stuff.  You can check him out all over youtube.  This article is a great place for more info.

The reason I’m bringing this up today, is I met Patrick this afternoon before he left for the States, then Europe, then Australia and maybe even South Africa over the next 6 months.  He is in the top 3 of the world rankings in longboarding….impressive.

He told me today of how he has set goals, worked hard and never stopped believing he could succeed in his sport and be successful at something he was passionate about.  I love that.  That is Be The Best!  I told him he could win a few races for Chris this year…and I’m not doubting for a minute that he will make that happen.

Go get em Patrick…and thanks for showing us how to live our dreams.

Dreams+Goals+Work+Work+Work=Success.

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Be The Best.

Is it ok to laugh?

Laughing was a big part of the relationship we had as a family.

Everyone had their roles.  Max, some witty banter playing off a bad pun from me.  Chris, some physical humor or just being Chris and Ingrid being funny without trying to be..which was the funny part! (yah, I know you had to be there most of the time to get this…)

In any event, what I’ve been learning in the past 6 weeks is how close laughter is to tears.  How close love is to anguish.  These apparent opposites are more like close cousins.  The yo-yo and elevator metaphors have never been more real.  Tears are usually just moments or seconds away from laughter.  The emotion continues to be strong.

But is it ok to laugh?  Yes. Yes. Yes.  I can’t imagine what this time would be like without the fragrant punctuation of laughter in the middle of the rain of sadness.  That is truly what it feels like.  The sadness and sorrow is like a fog or a misty Vancouver rain that gets right into your bones.  The laughter is like the perfect cup of coffee on those rainy days.  Yes, it’s ok to laugh…in fact it’s just what the doctor ordered.

In that vein, my amazing crazy group in BCIT’s Marketing department put together a little video this week in our spare time.  Part One you’ve seen before, but I’ll put it here again, and the new video, ‘don’t wear the wrong jersey on gameday part 2’ is below.  We had lots of laughs putting these together…I hope you do when watching.  And finally today….Canucks…please get your act together.  Sorry…just had to say that.