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Be The Best.

Thanksgiving – an epilogue of sorts

It’s been about 6 months since I last logged into the blog.

I wasn’t even sure I had remembered my password, but how hard is 1111111111.  (No, that’s not my password…!)

In fact I just checked and the last blog post was on the Easter weekend, exactly 6 months ago today.

Many things have changed in the past 6 months.  We’ve downsized, we’ve moved (yah, not really the same thing…), and I’ve changed jobs after 21 years.

They say you shouldn’t do all those things at the same time but I guess we missed that part in the instruction manual.

Anyhoo…why a post today?

I miss Chris everyday, every hour and every minute.

You can’t grow back a limb.

You learn to live with a broken heart and that’s the way it is.

And is that so bad?  I mean that actually….is that so bad?

As I watched the Olympics this summer and saw Oscar Pistorius win and lose his races I could not help but think about this same fact.  He’ll never have ‘normal’ legs but the path he has chosen is a ‘Be the Best’ story if I’ve ever heard one.

And so, with this major part of our lives missing and not coming back, how do we tackle our life olympics?

One of the things I saw in Mr. Pistorius was zero self pity and only resolve.  I loved it.

Instead of bitterness, he was thankful and hopeful and energized.

We aim to follow his lead.

In that vein, here at Thanksgiving there’s a story that I must share.

Chris’ ashes are held in a cemetery in Langley.  It’s a beautiful place surrounded by huge trees.

You can go there anytime.  (208th and 44th Ave in Langley, BC)

It’s a great place to remember Chris but also to think about how to push forward and run the race ahead of us and even enjoy that run until we meet again. His marker is on the Dogwood Wall and is number 41.  This symbolizes the number he wore representing BC when he played nationally and of course the Dogwood is BC’s provincial flower.

In honour of that symbolism,  a Dogwood tree had been given to us.  We aimed to keep it in a big container to manage the growth but with the move the tree was pretty much done.

I talked to Dave who works for the Township at the cemetery.  Dave’s one of those guys you meet and then you don’t mind paying your taxes anymore.  He’s a great guy with a warm heart.  When I asked if he would consider planting the tree he said he would.  He took our beleaguered tree and planted it last month.  This weekend on Thanksgiving, we saw it for the first time.

We were not even sure if it would survive, but it’s doing more than that.  It’s thriving and looks like it is giving itself a fighting chance for the winter ahead.

We’ll call it the Be the Best tree.

It was down, it was almost out, but it came back.

Chris’ legacy is one that he now gets to be with us all of the time.

He’s with you as you read this in college thousands of miles from home.

He’s with you as you lace up those lacrosse boots for another battle.

He’s with all of us as we make decisions about our lives.

He provides that spirit and inspiration to push hard and Be the Best.

For that I am extremely thankful.

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Be The Best.

Let’s play lacrosse already!

English: Flag of the Iroquois Confederacy, Hia...

When Chris played for Team BC in the Box National tournament in Ontario as a 14 year-old, we witnessed some amazing lacrosse.

Of particular note was team Iroquois.  They were small, but fast and they never ever gave up.

I’ve written about them before but was reminded of them again this week when a video link was sent my way.

Johnny Powless played at that tournment and was a lacrosse wonderkid.  Sort of Gretzky-like.

Amazing with the ball, without the ball and knowing where the play was going at all times.

This video link shows Powless scoring a goal in the NLL a few weeks back.  He’s just 18.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chris is still watching this kid go.

At the tournment back a few years ago, BC won the Bronze in an epic battle with Alberta.  We all stayed to watch Iroquois Nation go against Ontario.  Truly David vs Goliath.  I’m literally getting goose bumps as I type this remembering the game.

The Ontario team was HUGE.  They have a massive population and they could have had 3 or 4 top teams and still been competitive.  The Iroquois team was small.  But they didn’t give up.

I know they made a big impact on the BC boys watching.  In many ways it was the early days of Be The Best.

Yes, Iroquois did prevail to win the gold in one of the most fantastic lacrosse games I’ve ever seen.

Here’s Johnny doing his thing today.  I’m wearing my purple Iroquois t-shirt with pride today and still have the hand- made wooden lacrosse sticks dangling from the rear view mirror of our car.

Watch a little Be The Best in action…and this kid is only beginning.

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Be The Best.

Ski lessons from an 81 year-old

Now technically, my Dad is not 81 until Thursday…and ski lessons from an 80 year-old has a nice ring to it as well, but in honour of the upcoming day we’ll go with 81!

I wrote a Valentines Day/Birthday post last year at this time about Dad and Mom and Dad’s 80th.

Then the world got very interesting for them.

Both Mom and Dad were very ill and ended up in different parts of the hospital at the same time.

Their recovery was equally amazing and although my Dad had a few more surgeries than expected and now lives with an ileostomy and Mom continues her chemo fight…you’d probably have a hard time figuring that out.

Why?

Well, Mom is walking around town to her appointments, hiking and volunteering at a local thrift store and Dad is speaking to groups of seniors and others about his experiences and oh yah, going skiing!

I didn’t hear this week’s report, but last Friday night after a layoff of over a year, the boards were slapped on as this soon to be 81 years young Great Grandfather hit the slopes.

Now that’s a ski lesson for all of us, whether we ski or not.

Mom and Dad, we wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

And Dad…a very happy 81st on Thursday!!

Dec 29, 2010 at Blackie Spit. Video link above.
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Be The Best.

Emily in prime time.

If you haven’t picked up on it, I’m trying to use the word prime or prime rib in every Holiday post this year…

So….you may have seen the video of the prime rib from Christmas Eve and my little niece Emily munching away.

She taught me a few more things.  Just before we sat down you can hear her saying, ‘I want to see, I want to see’, as her Mom was filming on the iPad with the big visible screen.  You can see as the height of the camera drops, revealing a different perspective…a different viewpoint.

Emily’s Mom Selena, told me a very cool story about just that; perspective and the ‘view’ of a child.

The name Chris (not our Chris) had come up in a conversation and Emily had piped up quite matter-of-factly stating, ‘My Chris is in heaven’.

Yes he is Emily…yes he is.

And then she went on playing.

I love the eyes of a child both literally and how they ‘see’ what many of us miss.

It’s a different perspective on many levels.

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Be The Best.

Prime Time for Prime Rib

Tonight we had prime rib.

It was Chris’ favourite.

Prime rib at the Keg was a right of passage.  We always loved it.

Tonight for the Medema Christmas I smoked a prime rib.

It cooked for 7 hours and every time I went outside to check on it I thought of Chris.

As the prime rib readied itself for the first slice I thought of Chris.

He would have absolutely loved this meal and I thought of him the whole night.

I know he was right here with us, but I’m guessing the Prime Rib is even just a little better at the Keg in the Clouds…although he really would have liked this tonight!

Here’s a little vid of the action.  For all you techies, shot totally on the iPad2 with iMovie.

Have a great Christmas everyone.

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Be The Best.

Stockings and mantels

Last year we put out four stockings.

This is not 'the' stocking...just 'a' stocking.

We just had to have one for Chris too.

This year we put out five.

No, we are not adopting a child or adding a pet…that I’m aware of.

We (meaning my Better Half) put out the four stockings at home but this is the first Christmas we have a memorial location for Chris at The Wall or Chris’ Wall as we call it, nestled below the massive cedars that protect the group of memorial walls.

There’s a little stocking on our tree that we’ve had for years.  It’s a decoration.  Chris would have surely helped with putting this on the tree with his Mom as he and Max did each year.

That little stocking now adorns Chris’ marker at his Wall.

That might sound sad and it is sad but not ‘just sad’ as we know Chris is always with us.  It is amazing to see a place like the cemetery so colourful on these grey late fall days.  People are remembering their loved ones with flowers, Christmas ornaments and angel figurines.

And on one special marker (yes, read mantel), there’s a little red cloth stocking.

We luv ya kid, every minute of every day.

That’s what your stocking is full of on Christmas and every day of the year.

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Be The Best.

Father’s Day – y2

Can’t believe it was a year ago today that Max took me to the newly opened Empire Field for a BC Lions preseason game.  What a great day.  Here’s a link to that post.

I talked with my Dad this evening and it’s great to hear his voice strong and stronger.  He wrote a famous list called 70 things to do now that I’m 70.  He’s doing so well I’m expecting an 80 things to do now that I’m 80 very soon.

He inspired a certain Max to write a 20 things to do now that I’m 20 just weeks ago.

Very cool.

Today I had a long talk with one of my sons.  We talked about life now and life in the future.  We shared some laughs about the past…silly stories and stuff that makes our family what it is.  As always we shared how much we care for each other…things that don’t change…NO MATTER WHAT.

I did the same with Max and we were able to share a great bike ride and play some basketball too.

Pretty cool all around.

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day v2 – a different perspective

After I wrote the Mom’s Day blog on Sunday, we headed out for an afternoon White Rock beach walk…but not before a stop at Chris’ wall.

We’ve been there many times by now and although there were no services going on at the time, it was like rush hour at the facility.

At first we didn’t get it and then it became incredibly obvious.  Families had come out to remember their Moms and Grandmas.  Fresh flowers were everywhere.  If it wasn’t a cemetery I would say it was beautiful.

Actually…I take that last comment back.  It was beautiful.  The beauty was not the marking of death and passing, but rather the symbol of remembrance and respect.  I can only imagine, but as people stood by the markers of their loved ones, they were thinking about how that person had affected their own lives and how they would live on to honour and respect that memory.

As we were leaving, a man in his 40’s we guess came with his aging Dad (their physical resemblance was uncanny).  They approached the wall and we didn’t see where they went, but we’re pretty sure it was to acknowledge a wife and mother.

Mother’s Day in the cemetery.  Hadn’t really thought of it before.  As sad as it could be, it was also pretty amazing to see the influence these women had on their families in some cases generations later.

That’s a pretty special legacy.

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day

I can hardly believe it’s been a year since I wrote these words:

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

Those words are all true again this year.

This past 52 weeks has seen my Dad and then my Mom battle health issues that made them over-acquainted with hospital beds and our health care system in general.

Thankfully, as of this week, they are both at home after a few months away for Dad and almost a month for Mom.

As I told my Mom recently, her battle to fight for her health and to fight to look after Dad was and is incredible.  I know much of my own work ethic comes from this woman who on a usual Sunday back in the day would have made lunch for 20 people, taught a Sunday School lesson, braided three sets of hair (no, mine was not one of them…) and sang in the choir.  And that was all before 2pm.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

To my Mom-in-law Grace, we often think of the days you walked with Max and Chris to the bus at our old place before and after school.  Those after school snacks were legendary as was the interaction you had with the boys.  Those are special moments that live forever.

Today as Ingrid spends some not-that-often one on one time with Max (he took her out for brunch and a walk), I reflect on her journey.  I stand beside her as she places a single white rose on Chris’ wall as we remember.  I watch in awe as she so proudly talks about both her sons and has the grace and determination to continue with life’s journey.

As any parents, we are excited and wondering where Max will go and what he will do as he turns the corner into adulthood.  We remember Chris with each step and know he continues to be with us in spirit and as we remember all the other Moms, especially today, that have suffered the loss of a child…we join with you in the excitement of the day when we will be reunited with our loved ones.

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

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Be The Best.

Run hard for your kids.

I read this article in my Thursday morning Province paper and it threw off my morning routine.

I usually glance through the headlines looking for work related issues, but the front page story caught me and I ended up reading the whole thing.  It caused me to eat my cornflakes 4 minutes later than usual, causing an equal time delay in the tea making and subsequent vehicle extraction from the garage…but I digress.

You can read the article for yourself at this link.

It’s about Norma Mastidas, a 43 year old BC Mom who took up running ultramarathons when her son began to go blind.

It’s a sad but happy story filled with HOPE!  It’s got BE THE BEST all over it!

Here’s a quote:

Documentary producer Kyra Thompson says Bastidas is “really an incredible woman.”

“She isn’t part of any giant organization -she is just one person having an impact on the world, literally one step at a time,” Thompson said.

“So many parents’ worst nightmare would be to receive the kind of news she did and to feel helpless. But she was able to turn it around and set such a great example for her sons about never giving up and helping others. If that is not extraordinary, I don’t know what is.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/health/Running+hard+kids/4688430/story.html#ixzz1L4r9zW9O
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