Tag: holiday

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Be The Best.

Thanksgiving – an epilogue of sorts

It’s been about 6 months since I last logged into the blog.

I wasn’t even sure I had remembered my password, but how hard is 1111111111.  (No, that’s not my password…!)

In fact I just checked and the last blog post was on the Easter weekend, exactly 6 months ago today.

Many things have changed in the past 6 months.  We’ve downsized, we’ve moved (yah, not really the same thing…), and I’ve changed jobs after 21 years.

They say you shouldn’t do all those things at the same time but I guess we missed that part in the instruction manual.

Anyhoo…why a post today?

I miss Chris everyday, every hour and every minute.

You can’t grow back a limb.

You learn to live with a broken heart and that’s the way it is.

And is that so bad?  I mean that actually….is that so bad?

As I watched the Olympics this summer and saw Oscar Pistorius win and lose his races I could not help but think about this same fact.  He’ll never have ‘normal’ legs but the path he has chosen is a ‘Be the Best’ story if I’ve ever heard one.

And so, with this major part of our lives missing and not coming back, how do we tackle our life olympics?

One of the things I saw in Mr. Pistorius was zero self pity and only resolve.  I loved it.

Instead of bitterness, he was thankful and hopeful and energized.

We aim to follow his lead.

In that vein, here at Thanksgiving there’s a story that I must share.

Chris’ ashes are held in a cemetery in Langley.  It’s a beautiful place surrounded by huge trees.

You can go there anytime.  (208th and 44th Ave in Langley, BC)

It’s a great place to remember Chris but also to think about how to push forward and run the race ahead of us and even enjoy that run until we meet again. His marker is on the Dogwood Wall and is number 41.  This symbolizes the number he wore representing BC when he played nationally and of course the Dogwood is BC’s provincial flower.

In honour of that symbolism,  a Dogwood tree had been given to us.  We aimed to keep it in a big container to manage the growth but with the move the tree was pretty much done.

I talked to Dave who works for the Township at the cemetery.  Dave’s one of those guys you meet and then you don’t mind paying your taxes anymore.  He’s a great guy with a warm heart.  When I asked if he would consider planting the tree he said he would.  He took our beleaguered tree and planted it last month.  This weekend on Thanksgiving, we saw it for the first time.

We were not even sure if it would survive, but it’s doing more than that.  It’s thriving and looks like it is giving itself a fighting chance for the winter ahead.

We’ll call it the Be the Best tree.

It was down, it was almost out, but it came back.

Chris’ legacy is one that he now gets to be with us all of the time.

He’s with you as you read this in college thousands of miles from home.

He’s with you as you lace up those lacrosse boots for another battle.

He’s with all of us as we make decisions about our lives.

He provides that spirit and inspiration to push hard and Be the Best.

For that I am extremely thankful.

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Be The Best.

And so it begins – The Commencement – Part 3

Two years ago, on Easter Sunday, I began this blog.

I thought it might go for a month, then two months, then six, then for sure end at 12, then it kept going.

Although these past few months the posts have been more in my head then typed onto the screen, it’s not for lack of topics.   Along this pathway/journey/road/highway/trail you have ups and you have downs.  You have valleys and you have views.  You learn to laugh with a broken heart.  You learn to live with a hole in your heart.  You even learn to win and conquer with an altered existence.

That’s the REAL secret of Sunday.

It’s not about the razzle dazzle.

It’s about the amazing reality that there is life with tragedy.  There is hope with sorrow.  There is bitter and there is sweet, mixed and stirred.

Sunday is about hope.

Sunday is about future.

Sunday is about change.

After 21 years at an amazing post secondary school that has become a home not just a job…I am taking a leave.

I’m heading to the private sector working to assist entrepreneurs build their businesses.

A big change.

I’m not sure I would have done it without the Be The Best thinking part of my every waking minute.

Now, I’m not encouraging anyone to quit their jobs or do anything crazy, but I will challenge all of you to Be The Best!

What does that mean to you?

What are your dreams?

What are your goals?

How are you putting those into measurable pieces, sliced up by months and days?

Chris’ passion fuels me.  Chris’ passion to Be The Best fuels all of us, even those who never met him.

It’s Sunday…but it’s early Sunday morning.

Hope is on the horizon, but the road ahead is still very unknown.

But one thing I know is that Sunday’s here, and by making one decision at a time we’ll be more ‘Be The Best’ then if we just sit back and let things happen.

Sunday’s here, hope is here and HOPE is an action word.

Be The Best.

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Ski lessons from an 81 year-old

Now technically, my Dad is not 81 until Thursday…and ski lessons from an 80 year-old has a nice ring to it as well, but in honour of the upcoming day we’ll go with 81!

I wrote a Valentines Day/Birthday post last year at this time about Dad and Mom and Dad’s 80th.

Then the world got very interesting for them.

Both Mom and Dad were very ill and ended up in different parts of the hospital at the same time.

Their recovery was equally amazing and although my Dad had a few more surgeries than expected and now lives with an ileostomy and Mom continues her chemo fight…you’d probably have a hard time figuring that out.

Why?

Well, Mom is walking around town to her appointments, hiking and volunteering at a local thrift store and Dad is speaking to groups of seniors and others about his experiences and oh yah, going skiing!

I didn’t hear this week’s report, but last Friday night after a layoff of over a year, the boards were slapped on as this soon to be 81 years young Great Grandfather hit the slopes.

Now that’s a ski lesson for all of us, whether we ski or not.

Mom and Dad, we wish you a wonderful Valentine’s Day!

And Dad…a very happy 81st on Thursday!!

Dec 29, 2010 at Blackie Spit. Video link above.
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Emily in prime time.

If you haven’t picked up on it, I’m trying to use the word prime or prime rib in every Holiday post this year…

So….you may have seen the video of the prime rib from Christmas Eve and my little niece Emily munching away.

She taught me a few more things.  Just before we sat down you can hear her saying, ‘I want to see, I want to see’, as her Mom was filming on the iPad with the big visible screen.  You can see as the height of the camera drops, revealing a different perspective…a different viewpoint.

Emily’s Mom Selena, told me a very cool story about just that; perspective and the ‘view’ of a child.

The name Chris (not our Chris) had come up in a conversation and Emily had piped up quite matter-of-factly stating, ‘My Chris is in heaven’.

Yes he is Emily…yes he is.

And then she went on playing.

I love the eyes of a child both literally and how they ‘see’ what many of us miss.

It’s a different perspective on many levels.

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Stockings and mantels

Last year we put out four stockings.

This is not 'the' stocking...just 'a' stocking.

We just had to have one for Chris too.

This year we put out five.

No, we are not adopting a child or adding a pet…that I’m aware of.

We (meaning my Better Half) put out the four stockings at home but this is the first Christmas we have a memorial location for Chris at The Wall or Chris’ Wall as we call it, nestled below the massive cedars that protect the group of memorial walls.

There’s a little stocking on our tree that we’ve had for years.  It’s a decoration.  Chris would have surely helped with putting this on the tree with his Mom as he and Max did each year.

That little stocking now adorns Chris’ marker at his Wall.

That might sound sad and it is sad but not ‘just sad’ as we know Chris is always with us.  It is amazing to see a place like the cemetery so colourful on these grey late fall days.  People are remembering their loved ones with flowers, Christmas ornaments and angel figurines.

And on one special marker (yes, read mantel), there’s a little red cloth stocking.

We luv ya kid, every minute of every day.

That’s what your stocking is full of on Christmas and every day of the year.

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Mom’s Day

I can hardly believe it’s been a year since I wrote these words:

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

Those words are all true again this year.

This past 52 weeks has seen my Dad and then my Mom battle health issues that made them over-acquainted with hospital beds and our health care system in general.

Thankfully, as of this week, they are both at home after a few months away for Dad and almost a month for Mom.

As I told my Mom recently, her battle to fight for her health and to fight to look after Dad was and is incredible.  I know much of my own work ethic comes from this woman who on a usual Sunday back in the day would have made lunch for 20 people, taught a Sunday School lesson, braided three sets of hair (no, mine was not one of them…) and sang in the choir.  And that was all before 2pm.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

To my Mom-in-law Grace, we often think of the days you walked with Max and Chris to the bus at our old place before and after school.  Those after school snacks were legendary as was the interaction you had with the boys.  Those are special moments that live forever.

Today as Ingrid spends some not-that-often one on one time with Max (he took her out for brunch and a walk), I reflect on her journey.  I stand beside her as she places a single white rose on Chris’ wall as we remember.  I watch in awe as she so proudly talks about both her sons and has the grace and determination to continue with life’s journey.

As any parents, we are excited and wondering where Max will go and what he will do as he turns the corner into adulthood.  We remember Chris with each step and know he continues to be with us in spirit and as we remember all the other Moms, especially today, that have suffered the loss of a child…we join with you in the excitement of the day when we will be reunited with our loved ones.

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

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55, 65 and 80

There was a great story in yesterday’s Province Newspaper about Zoe and Bob Longshaw.  They’ve been married 65 years and the story of their relationship reads like a slice of history.  It’s a great story and I’ve linked it here.

It reminded me of another couple I know who’ve been married over 50 years…I think 55 this September if my memory serves.  (If it doesn’t I’m sure my sisters will correct me in short order.)  Their names are Jake and Leona Friesen…aka my Mom and Dad.

They were down over Christmas and I had shot some video at Blackie Spit which I had written about at that time, but only put the video clips into a little movie this weekend.

The occasion?  A bit of Valentine’s Day and a bit of a birthday…an 80th birthday to be exact.

DAD….HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR FEB 16!

MOM AND DAD…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

You’ve given your family and so many others a great example of long-lasting relationships.

As has been said many times here, Max and Chris LOVED going to Grandma and Grandpa’s.  We are so thankful for all the fantastic memories together.

So with that quick intro, here’s a little peek at a relationship that has stood the test of time.

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Be The Best.

Valentine’s Day

This is as simple as it gets!

Our love to all and a great big bear hug and kiss on the head to Chris!  We luv ya kid.

And yes, I know Chris is saying right now, Dad, REALLY??  A freakin valentine’s heart?  REALLY?

Yup.  Really.

😉

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The long and the short of it.

I wrote a few lines the other day and just couldn’t hit the ‘publish’ button.

The thoughts were plenty deep and plenty real, but like a good wine, they have now aged an appropriate time and I can provide some greater context.

This Christmas season is not the easiest as you can imagine.

Christmas is all about family, food, traditions.

Of course that invokes memories.  That’s not a bad thing…not at all.  It’s just that this being our first Christmas without Chris, really feels weird.  You shouldn’t take the Chris out of Christmas right?  (yes, this is a a very bad pun at an inappropriate time…but that’s how we roll in this family!)

I wrote these four lines the other day.  They just sort of blurted out of my head.

How broken is my heart?

How deep is my love.

How deep is my love?

How broken is my heart.

One of the things I’ve realized is that the pain we feel, and so many of you feel too, is simply symbolic of the love we had and have for Chris.  You CANNOT have a broken heart if you had no love.  Plain and simple.

For some of you, you never had a chance to meet this kid in person.

He was amazing.  He would light up a room when we walked/bounced/stormed in!

His spirit now lights up many hearts and rooms.

We get through these times by making decisions, giving, and even taking shots in the dark.

If you’ve read this blog before, all of the above will make sense.  If you haven’t…you’ve got some work to do!

That’s the long.  Here’s the short.

I had pieces of two batches of shortbread cookies last night.

Both were unbelievable.  Those of you who know me know I don’t eat wheat so these were rice flour shortbread cookies.  They are hard to find and hard to make.

Yet two different people went out of their way in a gesture of kindness to show us that they were thinking of us at Christmas.

I’m telling you, we are again humbled by these act of kindness.  They not only help us through this journey, but it burns in my mind the incredible positive impact that the action of giving can produce.

I put a few bucks into a Salvation Army kettle last night like so many us have done on this and every other holiday season.  This time though I had more of a sense than ever about how any act, even one so small,  can make an impact.

That’s the long and short of it.