I wrote a few lines the other day and just couldn’t hit the ‘publish’ button.
The thoughts were plenty deep and plenty real, but like a good wine, they have now aged an appropriate time and I can provide some greater context.
This Christmas season is not the easiest as you can imagine.
Christmas is all about family, food, traditions.
Of course that invokes memories. That’s not a bad thing…not at all. It’s just that this being our first Christmas without Chris, really feels weird. You shouldn’t take the Chris out of Christmas right? (yes, this is a a very bad pun at an inappropriate time…but that’s how we roll in this family!)
I wrote these four lines the other day. They just sort of blurted out of my head.
How broken is my heart?
How deep is my love.
How deep is my love?
How broken is my heart.
One of the things I’ve realized is that the pain we feel, and so many of you feel too, is simply symbolic of the love we had and have for Chris. You CANNOT have a broken heart if you had no love. Plain and simple.
For some of you, you never had a chance to meet this kid in person.
He was amazing. He would light up a room when we walked/bounced/stormed in!
His spirit now lights up many hearts and rooms.
We get through these times by making decisions, giving, and even taking shots in the dark.
If you’ve read this blog before, all of the above will make sense. If you haven’t…you’ve got some work to do!
That’s the long. Here’s the short.
I had pieces of two batches of shortbread cookies last night.
Both were unbelievable. Those of you who know me know I don’t eat wheat so these were rice flour shortbread cookies. They are hard to find and hard to make.
Yet two different people went out of their way in a gesture of kindness to show us that they were thinking of us at Christmas.
I’m telling you, we are again humbled by these act of kindness. They not only help us through this journey, but it burns in my mind the incredible positive impact that the action of giving can produce.
I put a few bucks into a Salvation Army kettle last night like so many us have done on this and every other holiday season. This time though I had more of a sense than ever about how any act, even one so small, can make an impact.
That’s the long and short of it.