Author: Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

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Be The Best.

Decision: Let’s play lacrosse!

Today’s date is not lost on me.  It is exactly one month today that Chris passed away.  Yesterday was probably the hardest day I’ve had since the first week.  Remember that yo-yo analogy? Maybe more like an elevator.  What I believe more than ever is that we continue to move forward by making decisions on a daily or hourly basis, whatever is needed, to move forward.

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Does that mean blocking feelings and emotion? No. But what it does mean is that we are not going to sit around and be sad 24-7.  Specifically for today, it means lacrosse.

We are very proud to be attending the Intermediate A Langley Thunder lacrosse home opener at the Langley Event Centre at 2pm.  We are there as fans and to support Chris’ teammates. I found this picture that I just had to show you.  This was taken in April of 2007 at a tournament in Coquitlam.  For privacy sake, I’ll leave out the names of the boys, but you’ll recognize many of the faces.  Coach Sean Beasley and Harvey Bull flank the boys with Chris in the front row. They may have grown a little in the past three years!!!  Many of these boys will be on the floor this afternoon.  Chris will be with you in spirit boys.  Be The Best! I’m hoping to be in my ‘usual game spot’ at least some of the time in the corner of the rink at rink level shooting some pictures!

ps. For the uninitiated, lacrosse is an intense, fast-paced game like hockey with big hits and amazing stick skills.  More on the history of Canada’s national summer sport in future blogs!

pps. We are also attending the home opener of the Junior A Langley Thunder on Tuesday night where a video tribute to Chris is planned as well as the 50-50 proceeds will go to the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.  We humbly thank the Thunder and the lacrosse community for this amazing support!!

Have a great Sunday.

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Be The Best.

Love signs and Love Shines

I wanted to figure out a way for you to see how your cards have brought hope and support to us during this time. An idea hit me today and the result is below.  I tried to find every card, but may have missed a few!  THANK YOU for every card and of course the flowers, tweets, emails, posts on Facebook and the Funeral Home site and every other form of support!  We’ve felt it all.  Your love signing those cards is shown below with a little help from AC (Auntie Cathy) and Love Shines.

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Be The Best.

Canucks and Grief

Yes, for those of you who’ve been fans for enough years, you know that feeling when the Canucks have been eliminated from the playoffs.

Last year at this time, Max, Chris and I were watching intently in the ‘TV room’ that I am writing this post from tonight.  Depending on your fan status, you may painfully recall how the Canucks were tossed from Stanley Cup eligibility by the Chicago Blackhawks.

I looked at the boys and said, “You know that feeling you have in your gut right now?”  They both answered with affirmative grunts.  “Welcome to becoming a true Canuck fan.”  …we are all hoping for a better outcome this year starting with the Kings!!

Tongue in cheek aside, the Canucks as an organization are absolutely amazing when it comes to working with grief in our community.  Canuck Place is the most public exhibit of that committment, but much goes on behind the scenes including the Sedin brothers donation of $1,500,000 to Children’s Hospital in Vancouver.

Even during our ordeal of the past 4 weeks since Chris’ passing, having hockey games on has been a great distraction and way to take a little focus off the immediate pain of loss.

Today at work, I decided to have a little fun with Kelly Angelo and Dave Pinton, two great colleagues in the Marketing and Communications dept. Not everything is funny these days, but it does feel good to laugh…and it’s ok!

Go Canucks Go.  Be the Best.  And enjoy a little jersey fun with the video below.

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Be The Best.

‘Good Grief’ and Two Charlies

I was thinking about Charlie Brown today.  Not really about Snoopy or Lucy or that piano dude…remember?  Schroeder. I was remembering one of Charlie Brown’s catch phrases….’good grief’.  After my extensive (4 minute) search on the history of ‘good grief’ I found….not much.  A euphemism for “Good God”, dating back to the 1900’s and of course an ‘Arrested Development’ TV episode from 2004?

In any event, it’s an oxymoron when taken literally.  I had to think about any aspect of grief being good.  Not so much.  However, thinking back to AC’s (Cathy AJ Hardy) comments at the funeral, she mentioned a pain or hurt so deep could only be caused by a LOVE that was so deep.  Hmm…that may be the good beside the grief.

I also thought about this quote…ok, you Grade 11 and 12’s…you should know this one.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way..

Got it?  Yes, that Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities.  Sure, that was written in the 1800’s, but it is a pretty accurate description of grief I think.  I’ve seen a lot about stages of grief and I’m sure that is probably true, but right now it is more like a pretty big yo-yo.  You go up and down between the extremes of the ‘best of times’ remembering, laughing, joking, smiling and dive down to the ‘worst of times’, missing, aching, dreaming of the missed future etc.

Good Grief? Maybe that Charlie Brown was a lot smarter than I ever thought…but I think Lucy knew that all along.

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Be The Best.

Not really sure I understood flowers…till now.

This Thursday is four weeks since Chris passed away.  Sometimes it seems like a second has gone by and other times it feels like 20 years…or 1000.

What I know for certain is how many of our lives are changed forever.

As time goes by, I’m sure I’ll have more perspective on various stages and aspects of the ‘grieving’ part of the journey, but I wanted to focus on one particular area for the blog post tonight.

Flowers. Yah, I knew I should get Ingrid flowers on special occasions (like weekends for example!) and flowers were good for mothers and as a host gift for dinner perhaps.  What I had totally overlooked until these past weeks is how flowers could have affected us personally during this time of loss.

In that first week after Chris was gone, our house filled up with flowers from so many organizations and people…including many of you.  Thank you.  I acknowledged what the flowers represented, but something more was at work.  Whenever we entered the house, many times after returning from difficult trips to the funeral home for example, the scent of the flowers would greet us as the door opened and we walked down the hall.  In our darkest moments, the colour and life of the plants and flowers gave us hope that life was beautiful and should be celebrated.

I don’t think I’ll ever look at (or smell) a flower arrangement in the same way again.

ps These are just a couple of pics of the actual flower arrangements taken by none other than Steve Lacoursiere….when he wasn’t working 20 hours per day on the videos in preparation for the service! Thanks Steve.

pps There is one flower arrangement in particular that will receive it’s own blog post…that’s coming next week.

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Be The Best.

Frenchy, Grease and Being The Best!

Ingrid and I made it out to Mission tonight to see our niece,  Brianna Hardy, star as Frenchy in Heritage Park Secondary School’s production of Grease.

From a fantastic performance of ‘Summer Nights’ to a stunning full cast performance of “Born to Hand Jive” to the memorable “You’re the One That I Want”, it was an amazing evening.

We’ve got to know Mathea (who played Sandy) in the past few weeks and both Mathea and Brianna were first-class.  Given the events of the past few weeks having a strong focus can be very difficult, but these two found a way.  We’re very proud of both of you.

Our congrats to the full cast and crew including the stellar leadership of Director Beverley Holmes and the Music Direction by Jodi Amaya.

My point tonight is about being the best in whatever you’re doing.  These high school students gave it their all tonight.  That is all that can be asked. (Come on Canucks…pay attention!!!)

I know our Brookswood Secondary friends also recently put on Grease.  We were unable to see it, but have heard great reports as well.

Whether it’s a school play, sports, homework, relationships or our jobs, it’s seemingly very evident when you encounter a group of people working as a team to Be The Best.

Congrats to Brianna, Mathea and the entire HPSS gang tonight.  You were.

Shows are running April 21-24 at 8pm – Clarke Theatre, Mission

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Be The Best.

Boise or bust.

We went on an epic road trip as a family in the summer of 2004.  We drove 10.5 hours the first day and ended up in Boise, Idaho for night.

We found a Super 8 or something and fell into bed.

This photo was taken the next morning which came too soon.  I just love this picture.  It says it all.  Chris not wanting to have anything to do with the morning and Max chomping down some cereal in a sleep filled haze.  As per the Christmas Tree vid (2009), Randy taking pictures and Ingrid somewhere asking where her help was…!

Those road trips were epic.  Got yours planned for the summer?

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Be The Best.

A little therapy…from birds.

Last Sunday I brought you a tour of Langley via bike.  Today, it’s a walking tour.  I had something different planned, but this morning was so peaceful, I put together a few images from our walk this morning.

Getting outside even for a short 30 minute walk, has been a great way to help our thoughts process.  It felt like the birds themselves were encouraging us this morning.  Listen closely…you’ll hear them.

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Be The Best.

Legacy of sight

As was mentioned at the funeral, we made a family decision to donate Chris’ corneas.

This is not the easiest post to write and perhaps not to read either, but I promised to be forthcoming as we journeyed forward so here goes.

We received a letter late this week from the Eye Bank of British Columbia.  We’ve received a number of ‘business’ letters including condolences, but when you read it in print it always hits you…’the recent loss of your son Christian’.  After three weeks it feels like he should still be coming home even though we know that will not happen in this world.

The letter continues, ‘I hope there is some comfort to you and your family in knowing that your generosity has dramatically improved the lives of corneal transplant recipients.  These individuals are very grateful to you and your family for this Legacy of Sight’.

I love that.  The Legacy of Sight.  These are the eyes of a champion.  As much as Chris’ corneas will physically guide a recipient for years and decades to come, the spirit of Chris and the principled life he lived can help guide us all on our journey.

The letter ends, ‘With gratitude, I thank you for reaching out in the midst of your sorrow to help others’.

We wouldn’t have it any other way.  This is a gift that gives back as much as it gives.

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Be The Best.

Love is Shining on iTunes

AC and Indie

I sort of feel famous now.  My sister has a song on iTunes.  That qualifies right?

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE that song, Love Shines – (listen to it now, without downloading).

To those of you who already downloaded, THANK YOU.

For those of you who’ve waited, the iTunes connection is now active as of about 8pm tonight. You may see a message about the song not being available in the Canadian iTunes store, but it will still download, we (as in Ingrid) just downloaded!

If you haven’t heard, Cathy AJ Hardy (aka Auntie Cathy) is donating net proceeds of this song to the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.

So just as soon as I figure out how to load a song from iTunes onto my Sony Walkman WM-F202 I am going to download it too.

I’m also looking for the 8 track link.  (If you’re under 30, go ask some ‘old’ person around you what I’m talking about…)

Have a great weekend.  Remember: 10% what we did…90% what we’re gonna do!!