Tag: grief

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Be The Best.

Mandela Day

Last week (July 18 to be exact) marked Nelson Mandela day.

You’ve seen a number of references to him in recent months as I am amazed at this man’s ability to move beyond any reasons he had to be angry or bitter or hard-done-by and moved forward in a continued spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness.

If you want a fuller understanding of who Mandela was and is, I found this ‘hero file’ site very informative.

It contains a quote from Mandela’s book that I have yet to read, but will add it to my list.

I love this quote. (as per http://www.moreorless.au.com/heroes/mandela.html)

Mandela’s autobiography, ‘Long Walk To Freedom’, ends with these words:

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.”

Isn’t that the truth!

For all of us we have many hills to climb.  Some reasonably inclined, some tougher.  The reality is that there will be more hills.

What I’m coming to realize more and more is that these hills simply form the landscape and it’s how we see them and climb them and who we climb them with that really defines the journey.

To know there are more hills ahead can perhaps be a comfort, not a sentence, because with hills ahead, we know the journey continues.

To see some great pics of Nelson Mandela click this link.

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Be The Best.

Reflections

2010-07-25

2010-03-25

Just numbers? No. You know what they mean.  Four months.  We don’t mean to think about it or overthink it, but still it exists.

I’m not sure of all that we’ll do at 5 months or 6 or at 1 year.

But on these days and EVERY day I know of one thing we will always do.

Remember Chris for the amazing kid he was and find ways to honour his memory.

As you look at reflections in a lake, sometimes they are a perfect mirror image of the surrounding reality.  Sometimes, the wind comes up and the reflections are obscured and distorted…even though the real objects creating the reflections still exist.  But when the water is smooth and the winds have calmed, you can see a true reflection.

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Be The Best.

Don’t eat ice…and other advice.

We were with good friends recently and I was chomping on some ice after a refreshing adult beverage.

“Don’t eat ice”, Ingrid stated, as that had been one of my mantras with Chris.  She was right.

Chris used to eat ice by the bucket.  He had a habit of eating ice during dinner and it drove me nuts!

“Don’t eat ice”, I would say, “it’s a bad habit”.

He would then turn to just letting the ice sit inside his mouth until he thought we’re not listening and then CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.

If Chris was still with us, I would still have the ‘no ice chewing’ policy in place.

However, as I was QUIETLY (or not) chewing my own ice tonight, I thought about how much I missed that annoying sound!

Let’s lift a glass to memories….on the rocks.

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Be The Best.

But back to the quilt…

Ok, more stories from the quilt.

After the funeral, we had friends and family pack up all the display tables of Chris’ lacrosse stuff, pictures etc.

It was days later when we realized that many people had brought items with them and left them on the tables in memory and honour of Chris.

It was amazing.  Necklaces, pendants, quilting squares!, lacrosse balls, jerseys and more.

The Burnaby Mountain Selects program meant so much to Chris and many of the guys brought their jerseys to the funeral and left them there.  When we found jersey after jersey at first we were confused.  Then we realized what happened and were simply overwhelmed with the thought behind that action.

One entire side of the quilt is dedicated to the the BMS family which really symbolizes the entire lacrosse family as these players came from different towns and different teams.  Some of them had been big opponents, but were now brothers-in-arms.

This quilt and that gesture of support and recognition will never be forgotten.  Thanks to everyone who brought something with them, wrote a note for Chris or to Chris or said a prayer or had a thought of support for us that day and for all the days since.

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Be The Best.

Rest…and Be The Best.

Maybe it was inevitable, but I missed posting a blog last night.

My original goal was a few times per week, which changed to daily after Easter Sunday and hadn’t stopped since.

My secondary goal, was daily through to the end of June (end of the school year) and three months into the ‘new normal’.

When I made it to the end of June I thought I might as well keep going and the daily blogs continued…until last night.

As Ingrid and I head into some summer vacation time, I also need to realize that REST is a part of Be The Best.  You remember that blog post about Power of Focus? That story about a very successful businessman and philanthropist spending a day a week sitting in a room and just thinking, has always blown me away and caused me to think.

Throughout the summer, I may not post quite as frequently as we look to re-charge our batteries.  That being said, I’ve just learned of some innovative ways of posting via the phone which I may just try!!  Stay tuned.

The summer so far has been very bitter sweet.  Seeing all those lacrosse players on the weekend wearing Chris’ patch and the decal on their helmets was awe inspiring, humbling and just plain awesome.  Thinking about the incredible summers we’ve had as a family and realizing we’re not going to have another one quite the same is simply gut wrenching…there is no easy way around that fact.

That being said, the summer provides hope and opportunity for us to continue to find our new normal.  The understanding that REST is a part of Be The Best is a lesson that’s not really easy for me, but I’m going to try to learn it.

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Love Shines Live

Some blog posts write themselves.

This is one of them.

You’ve got to see this little vid AC shot on the weekend.

It’s a live rendition of Love Shines on the back porch of her home.

LOVE IT.  Enjoy.

The last line of her intro on YouTube states, ‘this is a song about love shining no matter what’.  See what I mean about a blog post writing itself?

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Be The Best.

7 days to write a post…about a quilt.

But it’s not just any quilt.

When one of my amazing staff members in Marketing and Communications at BCIT asked a bold question she was really putting herself out there.  She did not know how Ingrid and I would feel about creating a quilt from Chris’ clothes, but with most things involving Be The Best, she took the risk.  It didn’t take long for Ingrid and I to say that we loved the idea and we were absolutely humbled by Kim’s generosity and that of her friends and family who supported her through this incredible project.

What you are about to see is intense.  It’s beautiful.  It’s sad.  It’s incredible.  It’s powerful.  These pictures are worth a billion words. Actually…not a chance.  They are  simply priceless.  You can also read/see the quilt from Kim’s perspective on her blog. As far as we’re concerned she’s an amazing artist, a gifted quilter and someone who has given us a most incredible gift.  Thank you Kim from the bottom of our hearts.

Look closely at the edge (I’m sure it has a technical name – piping or something…I don’t want to use the real name in case you think I actually know anything about quilts…).  You are seeing Chris’ favourite jacket…that stupid black and white checkered thing he wore all the time! (Yes, I secretly liked it…)

I love this quilt.  We love this quilt.

I’ve tried to write about it for 7 days, but I couldn’t take the photos or make the movie or type the words.  Tonight I can and that’s the way it goes.  This won’t be the last post about this quilt, because each square contains a story. Who knew?  This may become a quilting blog…!  LACROSSE PLAYERS….don’t worry…there will be plenty of lacrosse talk this weekend as we check out the Provincial Championships in Mission.

For now, understand that one side of the quilt is all of Chris’ favourite shirts including Langley Thunder and Team BC.  The other side is his BMS jerseys and the jerseys of his BMS teammates that brought them to the funeral as a show of respect.

You see?  Priceless.  And I simply can’t type anymore right now.  Enjoy the beauty, because as much as it’s sad, it’s wonderful, beautiful, incredible.

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Be The Best.

What’s your DQ?

Summer was made for ice cream or gelato or frozen yogurt or something like that right?

Ingrid had the great idea of heading down to Dairy Queen for an old school dessert. With a dinner time that finally worked for the three of us at home, we hit the drive thru post kitchen duty and a little basketball challenge to enjoy that taste of summer.

Max and I played a game of basketball called ’21’ in the backyard.  The Old Man schooled the Kid in game one before he woke up and won game two.  We probably should have played the tie-breaker, but I was a little nervous about the impending outcome…

The reason for this post?  This evening felt like an old school summertime evening where work (boys or ours), lacrosse, or other activities did not get in the way of just enjoying some evening sunshine and time together.

Chris played basketball like he played lacrosse, ready to knock anyone getting to the goal on their behinds.  His shot was a little ‘unrefined’.  Whenever he lost a game he would take the ball out for a ridiculously long shot and say, ‘If I score this I win’.  Without thinking about it, Max said that same thing tonight and we laughed as we remembered Chris’ antics in the backyard playing bball.

Then we had ice cream.

An almost perfect summer evening working our way to the new normal.

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Be The Best.

New Hope, Poem Night and Robert Frost

New Hope is a not for-profit-group in Vernon that was founded by my sister Grace after she suffered the loss of her husband (my brother-in-law) Andy some 15 years ago.  Not one to back away from a challenge, she faced and formed her ‘new normal’ head on and New Hope has helped hundreds of windows and widowers (and their families) over the years.  Now remarried to a fantastic guy Steve, it is a great example of honouring your past and also not giving up on the future…far from it.

Remember ‘giving is a part of grieving’?  There’s a lot of that in Grace.  You can check out more from New Hope here.  I was on their site tonight and they had the poem from Robert Frost called ‘Lodged’ on the home page.  It is similar to Invictus in some regards and when I researched Frost’s personal life I understood why.  Wow.  He had a lot of reasons to be bitter, questioning and angry.  Instead there appears to be a quiet resolve to persevere and explore the future as the Captain of his soul.  This is ‘Lodged’ by Robert Frost.

The rain to the wind said,
'You push and I'll pelt.'
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged--though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.
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Be The Best.

What is normal?

Straight to vid tonight.