Tag: Lacrosse

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Be The Best.

For men only…(yah right)

I know the methodology of many guys who ‘read’ this blog.

Their Significant Other reads it and passes the information on to them.

Many guys don’t read much.  I get that.

Guys do stuff. I get that.

Guys grieve differently. The ‘professional grieving industry’ (sarcasm) doesn’t really get that.

I found a very interesting author/speaker on-line talking about the differences between men and women and how that relates to grieving.   I haven’t read his book (case in point from above…I like to own books and read parts of them…), but I watched his 20 minute mini presentation on men and grief and was very impressed.

With my management instructor hat on, I’ve spoken many times to my students about the differences between cultures  and communication AND the differences between men and women and communication.

One excellent point that Tom Golden makes is that women tend to communicate face to face…ie they literally like to look at each other when talking.  If you hadn’t noticed, when a man talks to another man, they don’t tend to do this.  Face to face for a man is all about confrontation and challenge.  What men like to do is go shoulder to shoulder and fight something together.  Think sports (lacrosse (of course), hockey, football, soccer, whatever) which replicates ancient traditions of battle.

Anyhooo, when it comes to grieving men still want to DO stuff.  I’ve mentioned this to many people but not here in this blog.  If Chris and I used to work on cars together, I would probably be finishing a car right now.  If we hunted together I’d probably arrange a hunting trip with ‘da boys’.  For me to honour Chris, the SFU Chris Friesen Memorial Fund was a huge goal and it was as much a part of the male grieving process as going to lacrosse games and writing blog posts.

Shoulder to shoulder combat.

For the men reading, take a look at this video on the attached link.

For the women reading for their men, take a look at this video on the attached link…and then drag your husbands/boyfriends/friends/sons over to take a look…or just watch it for them and let them what it was about.  🙂

It’s some interesting food for thought.

Guys:  Sorry this blog post was so long.  367 words is way too much.  Go do something.

Link to Tom Golden video (vid at bottom of page):

NOTE:  I’m not endorsing etc. Just another viewpoint along our journey!

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Be The Best.

Mandela Day

Last week (July 18 to be exact) marked Nelson Mandela day.

You’ve seen a number of references to him in recent months as I am amazed at this man’s ability to move beyond any reasons he had to be angry or bitter or hard-done-by and moved forward in a continued spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness.

If you want a fuller understanding of who Mandela was and is, I found this ‘hero file’ site very informative.

It contains a quote from Mandela’s book that I have yet to read, but will add it to my list.

I love this quote. (as per http://www.moreorless.au.com/heroes/mandela.html)

Mandela’s autobiography, ‘Long Walk To Freedom’, ends with these words:

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.”

Isn’t that the truth!

For all of us we have many hills to climb.  Some reasonably inclined, some tougher.  The reality is that there will be more hills.

What I’m coming to realize more and more is that these hills simply form the landscape and it’s how we see them and climb them and who we climb them with that really defines the journey.

To know there are more hills ahead can perhaps be a comfort, not a sentence, because with hills ahead, we know the journey continues.

To see some great pics of Nelson Mandela click this link.

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Be The Best.

But back to the quilt…

Ok, more stories from the quilt.

After the funeral, we had friends and family pack up all the display tables of Chris’ lacrosse stuff, pictures etc.

It was days later when we realized that many people had brought items with them and left them on the tables in memory and honour of Chris.

It was amazing.  Necklaces, pendants, quilting squares!, lacrosse balls, jerseys and more.

The Burnaby Mountain Selects program meant so much to Chris and many of the guys brought their jerseys to the funeral and left them there.  When we found jersey after jersey at first we were confused.  Then we realized what happened and were simply overwhelmed with the thought behind that action.

One entire side of the quilt is dedicated to the the BMS family which really symbolizes the entire lacrosse family as these players came from different towns and different teams.  Some of them had been big opponents, but were now brothers-in-arms.

This quilt and that gesture of support and recognition will never be forgotten.  Thanks to everyone who brought something with them, wrote a note for Chris or to Chris or said a prayer or had a thought of support for us that day and for all the days since.

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Be The Best.

Rest…and Be The Best.

Maybe it was inevitable, but I missed posting a blog last night.

My original goal was a few times per week, which changed to daily after Easter Sunday and hadn’t stopped since.

My secondary goal, was daily through to the end of June (end of the school year) and three months into the ‘new normal’.

When I made it to the end of June I thought I might as well keep going and the daily blogs continued…until last night.

As Ingrid and I head into some summer vacation time, I also need to realize that REST is a part of Be The Best.  You remember that blog post about Power of Focus? That story about a very successful businessman and philanthropist spending a day a week sitting in a room and just thinking, has always blown me away and caused me to think.

Throughout the summer, I may not post quite as frequently as we look to re-charge our batteries.  That being said, I’ve just learned of some innovative ways of posting via the phone which I may just try!!  Stay tuned.

The summer so far has been very bitter sweet.  Seeing all those lacrosse players on the weekend wearing Chris’ patch and the decal on their helmets was awe inspiring, humbling and just plain awesome.  Thinking about the incredible summers we’ve had as a family and realizing we’re not going to have another one quite the same is simply gut wrenching…there is no easy way around that fact.

That being said, the summer provides hope and opportunity for us to continue to find our new normal.  The understanding that REST is a part of Be The Best is a lesson that’s not really easy for me, but I’m going to try to learn it.

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Langley Advances to Gold Medal Game!

Langley battles Richmond during a Saturday afternoon tilt.

I love seeing the CF 2 stickers on the helmets.

I love seeing the Be The Best patches on the jerseys.

More than anything, I love seeing guys play as a TEAM.

That was clearly evident today as Langley beat Richmond and then beat a Vancouver Island team to claim a berth into the Gold/Silver showdown tomorrow (Sunday, July 18, 2010).

Langley didn’t start strong at this tournie, but they’ve turned it up a notch or two.  The opponent will be Coquitlam who are always a strong team and an association that has incredible depth and talent.  Should be a great match up.

Good luck to both teams!

Win or lose, my hope is that these experiences will help develop these young athletes into young men ready to change the world!

A little Saturday evening 'get together' on the floor.
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Be The Best.

#32 in Denver this weekend!

A picture is worth a thousand words.  You’ve heard that before, right here in this blog.  Well take a look at this 1,000 word picture.

Chris learned so much from the Burnaby Mountain Selects program.  Their coaching and admin staff have been incredibly supportive during this time and of course these are the folks (Brent and Jeff) who coach the SFU Lacrosse team.

The news tonight is that the Burnaby Mountain Selects summer program which has teams going all over the place (New York, California, Denver etc) will be wearing the helmet stickers that you see above.  (Thanks Steve Lacoursiere and Brad Haima for rockin the original design)

They are playing in Denver this weekend.  Chris will be with you all in spirit boys!!  Be The Best.

To Joyce, Brent and Jeff, we extend our thanks for the honour of having Chris remembered throughout this season with the Burnaby Mountains Select players.  Extremely cool!

I also want to thank the many players and parents of the BMS program that so generously not only purchased the Chris Friesen lacrosse stick, but made amazing contributions to the fund in his memory.  We can’t thank you enough!!

Boys…go win some lacrosse games.  Better yet, keep learning how you can get better and listen to those coaches ok?  They are the real deal.

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Be The Best.

Lacrosse action

I was able to take in a Langley Thunder Midget A1 lacrosse game last Thurs.

They are in playdowns vs. Port Coquitlam.  The winner will be going to the Provincials to be held in Mission July 14-18.

It is a best of 5 and Langley is up 2-0 after Thursday’s win with a big game in Aldergrove on Tuesday at 7:30 (I believe!).

It was great to see a game as the past few weeks had been way too light on taking in lacrosse action!

I wish both teams good luck on Tues.

Obviously lacrosse brings back many memories of Chris.  This is one of the first videos I had put together from a trip to Florida to watch Chris play.  He’s in a couple of the pics (#32), but the highlight is actually the Long Pole (defensive big stick used in field lacrosse) and the bend and torque on the stick as it is applied to the offensive player’s jersey!  I just saw it tonight in my list of vids, and decided to share it here as I’m just missing seeing the kid play lacrosse.  This video has been seen over 4,700 times so a few lacrosse players out there still like it.

Although watching lacrosse reminds me about Chris, I also LOVE to see all the players Chris played with over the years getting better and better (that includes Langley and many opposing teams!).  Keep striving to Be The Best!  I know you will.  Ultimately, lacrosse is a way to learn how to work hard, be a great team member, strive to win and develop into incredible young men and women.

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Be The Best.

Be The Best. Next Generation.

Ethanator’s Mom (Selena, Frank’s wife, Frank is Ingrid’s brother, Selena is my sister-in-law…got it?) sent me this pic a few days back.

Now that is what I’m talking about!!  Great job Ethan….doing the victory pose.

My father was a speed reader.  I remember him trying to teach us the techniques he had learned at the speed reading course.  One of the first exercises was to turn pages quickly…without even reading them.  Why?  It was part of training your brain to take in info quicker than you thought possible.  In essence you were training your brain to behave in a position of success as it pertains to speed reading.  (btw, my Dad at 79 can still outread anyone in my opinion.  Call him up in Vernon if you want a race…my money will be on him!)

Remember playing road hockey as kids?  What did you always do?  Lift your hockey stick in victory for scoring the big goal…even if you hadn’t scored yet.

It’s all part of practicing to be successful.

That’s why I love this picture so much.  Sure, Ethan is imitating the lacrosse silhouette Be The Best pose from his big cousin Chris, but he is also (whether he consciously knows it or not) training his brain to be a champion.

Now that’s BE THE BEST!

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

What is this…sunset week?

Langley sunset. June 15, 2010.

Really…I wasn’t looking for a sunset theme this week, but that is how it’s working out.

The colours here remind me of the colours of the rainbows we saw at some amazing times just after Chris’ passing.

Rainbows are mentioned as far back as the story of Noah and his ark and the promise of hope after the biblical account of a great flood.

Those rainbows in the days following Chris’ passing helped remind us that we were not being forgotten.  There was one very difficult day that the lacrosse team was doing a tribute for Chris.  It was amazingly wonderful and difficult at the same time.  It was stormy and raining heavily, but the hint of sun was on the horizon.  I thought we might see a rainbow, but didn’t.  We got to the arena parking lot and as I backed into the parking spot we saw a huge bright rainbow that must have been behind us.  I called my nephew Steve and told him as we had shared some of these stories and in the couple of moments we were on the phone the rainbow faded and was gone.

Like many other things I’ve written about, I realize that it rains a lot in Vancouver and a mix of sun and rain leads to rainbows!  That is a scientific fact.  It was just incredibly cool to see this ancient symbol of hope showing up at unexplained times and places in those first few weeks.

If you think this is interesting, wait for the eagle story in the next few days…!

This new normal thing ain’t easy or all that fun.  That being said, we know the sun will set each night which means just one thing.  The sun will rise again!  (ok, if I get too much more philosophical I think I may go see Dr. Phil…)

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Be The Best.

D-fence.

I’ll try to bring some pics forward that you probably haven’t seen before.  Chris had played a December tournie in Seattle for a number of years including a few months back in 2009.

You see Chris here (grey helmet) in pursuit and ready to aid his fellow defender and ward off an enemy attack!  He loved playing defense.  Where other players lived to score goals, he got that same satisfaction stripping a ball from a goal scorer, breaking up an offensive play and then moving the ball quickly up the field to push his team forward.  Throw in some good physical contact and it was a great day at the office!

I love the second picture…taken on the next day.  He’s wearing his Team BC helmet (you can see the 41 on it) and he’s just provided the other team’s offensive player a reminder of what’s going to happen if he wants to get close to the goal.  One of his lacrosse teammates told me he hated going up against Chris in practice because he knew he was going to feel it, but he loved going against Chris in practice because he knew he was going to get better.

Getting better usually requires getting out of the comfort zone.