Author: Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

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Be The Best.

Mandela Day

Last week (July 18 to be exact) marked Nelson Mandela day.

You’ve seen a number of references to him in recent months as I am amazed at this man’s ability to move beyond any reasons he had to be angry or bitter or hard-done-by and moved forward in a continued spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness.

If you want a fuller understanding of who Mandela was and is, I found this ‘hero file’ site very informative.

It contains a quote from Mandela’s book that I have yet to read, but will add it to my list.

I love this quote. (as per http://www.moreorless.au.com/heroes/mandela.html)

Mandela’s autobiography, ‘Long Walk To Freedom’, ends with these words:

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.”

Isn’t that the truth!

For all of us we have many hills to climb.  Some reasonably inclined, some tougher.  The reality is that there will be more hills.

What I’m coming to realize more and more is that these hills simply form the landscape and it’s how we see them and climb them and who we climb them with that really defines the journey.

To know there are more hills ahead can perhaps be a comfort, not a sentence, because with hills ahead, we know the journey continues.

To see some great pics of Nelson Mandela click this link.

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Be The Best.

Reflections

2010-07-25

2010-03-25

Just numbers? No. You know what they mean.  Four months.  We don’t mean to think about it or overthink it, but still it exists.

I’m not sure of all that we’ll do at 5 months or 6 or at 1 year.

But on these days and EVERY day I know of one thing we will always do.

Remember Chris for the amazing kid he was and find ways to honour his memory.

As you look at reflections in a lake, sometimes they are a perfect mirror image of the surrounding reality.  Sometimes, the wind comes up and the reflections are obscured and distorted…even though the real objects creating the reflections still exist.  But when the water is smooth and the winds have calmed, you can see a true reflection.

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Be The Best.

Don’t eat ice…and other advice.

We were with good friends recently and I was chomping on some ice after a refreshing adult beverage.

“Don’t eat ice”, Ingrid stated, as that had been one of my mantras with Chris.  She was right.

Chris used to eat ice by the bucket.  He had a habit of eating ice during dinner and it drove me nuts!

“Don’t eat ice”, I would say, “it’s a bad habit”.

He would then turn to just letting the ice sit inside his mouth until he thought we’re not listening and then CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP.

If Chris was still with us, I would still have the ‘no ice chewing’ policy in place.

However, as I was QUIETLY (or not) chewing my own ice tonight, I thought about how much I missed that annoying sound!

Let’s lift a glass to memories….on the rocks.

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Be The Best.

But back to the quilt…

Ok, more stories from the quilt.

After the funeral, we had friends and family pack up all the display tables of Chris’ lacrosse stuff, pictures etc.

It was days later when we realized that many people had brought items with them and left them on the tables in memory and honour of Chris.

It was amazing.  Necklaces, pendants, quilting squares!, lacrosse balls, jerseys and more.

The Burnaby Mountain Selects program meant so much to Chris and many of the guys brought their jerseys to the funeral and left them there.  When we found jersey after jersey at first we were confused.  Then we realized what happened and were simply overwhelmed with the thought behind that action.

One entire side of the quilt is dedicated to the the BMS family which really symbolizes the entire lacrosse family as these players came from different towns and different teams.  Some of them had been big opponents, but were now brothers-in-arms.

This quilt and that gesture of support and recognition will never be forgotten.  Thanks to everyone who brought something with them, wrote a note for Chris or to Chris or said a prayer or had a thought of support for us that day and for all the days since.

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Be The Best.

Rest…and Be The Best.

Maybe it was inevitable, but I missed posting a blog last night.

My original goal was a few times per week, which changed to daily after Easter Sunday and hadn’t stopped since.

My secondary goal, was daily through to the end of June (end of the school year) and three months into the ‘new normal’.

When I made it to the end of June I thought I might as well keep going and the daily blogs continued…until last night.

As Ingrid and I head into some summer vacation time, I also need to realize that REST is a part of Be The Best.  You remember that blog post about Power of Focus? That story about a very successful businessman and philanthropist spending a day a week sitting in a room and just thinking, has always blown me away and caused me to think.

Throughout the summer, I may not post quite as frequently as we look to re-charge our batteries.  That being said, I’ve just learned of some innovative ways of posting via the phone which I may just try!!  Stay tuned.

The summer so far has been very bitter sweet.  Seeing all those lacrosse players on the weekend wearing Chris’ patch and the decal on their helmets was awe inspiring, humbling and just plain awesome.  Thinking about the incredible summers we’ve had as a family and realizing we’re not going to have another one quite the same is simply gut wrenching…there is no easy way around that fact.

That being said, the summer provides hope and opportunity for us to continue to find our new normal.  The understanding that REST is a part of Be The Best is a lesson that’s not really easy for me, but I’m going to try to learn it.

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Love Shines Live

Some blog posts write themselves.

This is one of them.

You’ve got to see this little vid AC shot on the weekend.

It’s a live rendition of Love Shines on the back porch of her home.

LOVE IT.  Enjoy.

The last line of her intro on YouTube states, ‘this is a song about love shining no matter what’.  See what I mean about a blog post writing itself?

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Be The Best.

Silver and Gold have I won.

Another year, another provincial championship has been played.  The Midget A1 box lacrosse players are the best 15 and 16 year old teams in the province playing for this year’s bragging rights.  Some smaller communities and lacrosse associations have some EXCELLENT players, but not an entire team that can compete fairly at the A1 level.  Langley is a relatively small association but fields an A1 team and is usually in a tough fight to get to the provincial championships and compete for a medal of any colour. (Last year Chris and the A1 Midgets won the Bronze medal which was a major accomplishment.  You can see that winning team including Chris in this photo.)

What the A1’s from Langley did this week is another step forward for these young men, their coaches and the Langley association.  A silver medal is the highest ever achieved at this level of lacrosse for a Langley team. Congrats boys!!

Coquitlam also needs recognition as they lost their first three games in the round robin and then got on an unstoppable roll and were certainly the better team today in the gold medal game against Langley.

Langley’s coach, Dave Wilfong, asked me to say a few words to the guys after the game today.  Dave really cares for the boys he coaches.  He sort of treats each one like an additional son.  He did this for Chris too when Chris was privileged enough to have Dave as his coach last season.  What I told the boys was that Be The Best didn’t always mean winning.  Chris and I had many conversations about this fact when he was upset with Bronze medals or anything less than total domination at a game or tournament.  What Be The Best is really all about is learning.  Learning what to do better.  Learning what to improve.  Picking up some more tools for your journey.

As Dave so aptly stated today, lacrosse is a part of the journey, but not the whole journey.  The bigger picture is career, relationships and community.  Listen to your Coach guys…he knows a thing or two!!

PS  Dave and the team were incredibly gracious to our family today and gave us a silver medal in Chris’ honour as they had played the season in his memory.  That was completely unexpected and humbly and graciously received and will be treasured forever.

PPS You see the pic below of a Coquitlam player’s helmet thrown on the floor as the team rushed to congratulate each other on the big win.  You see the CF 2 sticker on the helmet?  Cool.  A bunch of the players were wearing them.  I loved it.  Thanks guys.  A big congrats for an amazing comeback by a team that no one can ever count out of anything!

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Be The Best.

Langley Advances to Gold Medal Game!

Langley battles Richmond during a Saturday afternoon tilt.

I love seeing the CF 2 stickers on the helmets.

I love seeing the Be The Best patches on the jerseys.

More than anything, I love seeing guys play as a TEAM.

That was clearly evident today as Langley beat Richmond and then beat a Vancouver Island team to claim a berth into the Gold/Silver showdown tomorrow (Sunday, July 18, 2010).

Langley didn’t start strong at this tournie, but they’ve turned it up a notch or two.  The opponent will be Coquitlam who are always a strong team and an association that has incredible depth and talent.  Should be a great match up.

Good luck to both teams!

Win or lose, my hope is that these experiences will help develop these young athletes into young men ready to change the world!

A little Saturday evening 'get together' on the floor.
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Be The Best.

Quilt Story 2

You can see a whole movie franchise here…Quilt Story 5, The Stitcher Returns…but I digress.

You see that ‘C’ square in the quilt?  That’s a story all of its own.  Brett Dobray, one of Chris’ Langley teammates and buds, wanted to bring something to the funeral and leave for Chris.  He had his Grandma make this square with the ‘C’ for Captain and the stars.  This was an amazing thought from a young man and one that will be treasured forever.  It wasn’t planned, but I don’t think it was a fluke at all that this square ended up right beside the Iroquois Lacrosse square.  Along with Josh Beasley, Ryley Brown, Ryan Gladiuk and Will VandenHooven, Brett and Chris were all Langley boys who played together on the Bantam Team BC Box team that won a bronze medal in Ontario in 2007.  The Iroquois were amazing to watch at the tournament and many of the boys exchanged shirts and helmets to bring home a memory. Brett, I want you to know how much Chris loved playing with you.  It came down to a very basic reason.  You have a passion for the game and you want to win.

As Langley’s Midget A1 Box team and teams from around the province prepare for weekend battle at the Provincials this Saturday and Sunday, I think it’s important to think about Be The Best.  It’s really about 1+1=3.  Personally, leave nothing on the floor.  That means 110% every shift.  Then do something for a teammate…an extra hit, an extra effort on a pass, a full sprint to the bench on a line change.  It’s those little things that you do yourself (that’s 1) + what you do for others (that’s 1) that when added up make the magical 3.  Think about it.  That’s what Be The Best is all about.

Young men like Brett get it.  Leadership is not always the loudest guy in the room, it’s the loudest person through his or her actions.

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Be The Best.

7 days to write a post…about a quilt.

But it’s not just any quilt.

When one of my amazing staff members in Marketing and Communications at BCIT asked a bold question she was really putting herself out there.  She did not know how Ingrid and I would feel about creating a quilt from Chris’ clothes, but with most things involving Be The Best, she took the risk.  It didn’t take long for Ingrid and I to say that we loved the idea and we were absolutely humbled by Kim’s generosity and that of her friends and family who supported her through this incredible project.

What you are about to see is intense.  It’s beautiful.  It’s sad.  It’s incredible.  It’s powerful.  These pictures are worth a billion words. Actually…not a chance.  They are  simply priceless.  You can also read/see the quilt from Kim’s perspective on her blog. As far as we’re concerned she’s an amazing artist, a gifted quilter and someone who has given us a most incredible gift.  Thank you Kim from the bottom of our hearts.

Look closely at the edge (I’m sure it has a technical name – piping or something…I don’t want to use the real name in case you think I actually know anything about quilts…).  You are seeing Chris’ favourite jacket…that stupid black and white checkered thing he wore all the time! (Yes, I secretly liked it…)

I love this quilt.  We love this quilt.

I’ve tried to write about it for 7 days, but I couldn’t take the photos or make the movie or type the words.  Tonight I can and that’s the way it goes.  This won’t be the last post about this quilt, because each square contains a story. Who knew?  This may become a quilting blog…!  LACROSSE PLAYERS….don’t worry…there will be plenty of lacrosse talk this weekend as we check out the Provincial Championships in Mission.

For now, understand that one side of the quilt is all of Chris’ favourite shirts including Langley Thunder and Team BC.  The other side is his BMS jerseys and the jerseys of his BMS teammates that brought them to the funeral as a show of respect.

You see?  Priceless.  And I simply can’t type anymore right now.  Enjoy the beauty, because as much as it’s sad, it’s wonderful, beautiful, incredible.