Straight to vid tonight.
Tag: Christian Friesen
Vuvuzela withdrawl…really?
Ok, it’s the first Sunday in about a month without a soccer match. That hurts.
I LOVE the World Cup along with a few billion people around the globe. I think that is one of the big reasons I like it so much. With American (Happy 4th of July) opinion aside, soccer IS the world’s sport and it’s fantastic to watch. With a little Dutch and German heritage in our family, we are hoping for a Netherlands/Germany final next Sunday.
I know Ingrid’s Uncle Don is a BIG Dutch supporter and lives in Holland so we may be leaning to the Netherlands and perhaps wearing a little orange if we can get through to the finals this week.
As you’ve seen documented in this blog many times, I love sports. Sports has also been an amazing help in getting through these first three months without Chris. Obviously lacrosse was a MAJOR part of our lives in the past 8 y
ears. Being able to go on the emotional ride with the Canucks this Spring and then following the Flyers (Hawks officially omitted from this blog until Canucks beat them in playoffs) through to the Cup Final, watching Tiger implode on the golf course and off, or following the World Cup of Soccer, it is the ‘guy drama’ that keeps many of us captivated and inspired. If I was writing a grief book for guys, there would be a chapter in there called, ‘watch sports on TV…it’s good for you’, or something like that!
Anyhoo…back to today…I am missing those vuvuzelas strangely enough. Hold it. There’s a BC Lions game on at 4? Great. Those CFL horns are a close 2nd.
Have a great week.
Fire me up
On this holiday weekend, I hope some of you are able to enjoy a campfire. With current restrictions on fire size or fires at all, in some ways having a fire isn’t as easy as it used to be. (yes, that did make me sound old!)

We have an outdoor fireplace with open flame that really feels like the real thing…without the effort of chopping wood. I love it. As the weather turns just a bit warmer, there is nothing better than to sit outside on a crisp evening and enjoy the darting flames, odd crackle and wind wisped flickers of light coming from each ribbon of blue and orange.
Here’s my fire tonight. I often come out here alone and think or take the laptop with me and do anything from music composition editing to email. I would also come out here a lot with the boys. When Max and Chris heard me say, ‘let’s go have a fire’, they knew it was code for father/son chat about something!
See guys in particular, don’t care to sit down in a room and talk. We’d rather be doing stuff. A fire is a good distraction and gives guys something to look at and in that way you may even have more of a conversation beyond the usual grunting that us males are well known for.
In any event, this outdoor fireplace has been much more than a source of heat. It’s been a place to think, ponder and connect with my sons.
Be The Best – Chaz style
When Chaz was over with the gang the other night, he brought over the Chris Friesen Inspirational plaque that he had won at Brookswood. As is my nature, I documented with a photo! This is probably the shortest blog ever, cause you don’t need to really read too much to see what this Be The Best thing is all about. If you haven’t read Chaz’s story…read it now and then this picture will be like another 1,000 words. Be The Best. Nice example Chaz. Cool. This is what we meant when we said Chris’ passion would fuel us.

Invictus (the video)
If you read the blog a week ago or so, you know the impact the movie and poem Invictus had on me.
What an incredible poem by a man who had every reason to be questioning, bitter and unmotivated for the future.
Ditto for Nelson Mandela, the South African leader, who also had 27 years of reasons to be downtrodden.
Although not a straight line forward, step by step, decision by decision the choice is made to move forward.
Invictus means undefeated, and undefeated we’ll be in the long run.
These sunset pics are dedicated to my mom-in-law Grace who loves them (and is quite an amazing photographer herself!).
Enjoy. (note: by clicking on those arrow things under the video, you can watch in full screen)
Ok, this was last night’s blog.
Wow.
I think I went about 80 straight days and then it all fell apart last night.
What did you do without a blog? What did I do? Well, I fell asleep watching the Slap Chop infomercial. I just hope I didn’t ‘sleep order’ 5 of them or something.
This may seem minor, but I wanted to blog daily through the end of June and then ease up a little through the summer. It’s one of those things…when you have a goal and you don’t quite meet it, do you quit? That’s how most New Year’s Resolutions end. Miss one day of exercise (busy), miss two days (tired) miss three days (work) and you’re done.
The best way I’ve learned to change habits is a very simple technique called Do It Now, Do It Now, DO IT NOW!!
Max and Chris heard this 1,000 times.
I remember as a kid going to the PNE and signing a form with my name and feeding it into a ‘handwriting analysis’ computer. For the late 70’s this was a big deal! The report came back with a number of things including that I had a ‘propensity for procrastination’. Turns out that was right…along with about 99% of the world’s population. Most of us tend to put things off…myself very much included.
So, when I deviate from my goal or don’t quite hit the mark, the quickest way to get going is DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW. Your ‘it’ may be different, but the result is the same. Another great example is push-ups. Since Chris’ passing, I’ve worked my way up to 50 push-ups per day. I aim to do these every day, but don’t always succeed. It is incredibly easy to forget one day, then two, then three and then look out!! DO IT NOW is about forgetting that I’m running a little late and getting down on the floor and pounding out 50 push-ups.
Have a great Canada Day!!
Kids these days.
A gang of dudes (and Hope!) came by tonight for a little ping pong and socializing. Talk about a great group of kids…again! I have been so incredibly impressed with all the young people that Ingrid and I have met over the past few months. It makes me very excited about the future of our community and country to know we have such a great group of young minds ready to take a leadership role in the years to come. Of course we were just playing ping pong, talking about Chris, sports and catching up, but I know good character traits when I see them! btw, any employers out there in the Langley area, a few of these students still need some summer employment, so send me a message and I’ll set you up! (no, they didn’t ask me to write that bit)
I know as a parent, you are never sure if the things that you say and model actually are absorbed by your children. Since Chris’ passing we have heard story after story of what he was like and I have to say it has meant a huge deal to us to hear about how many of the things we taught him (and hopefully role-modeled) came through in his life and with his friends.
I know many parents reading this probably wonder if it’s happening with your own kids. Are they really listening? The short answer….YES. You probably just won’t hear too much about it!





His band and wife.
I don’t think those wrist bands (we’re calling them Chris Bands) have left our wrists since the amazing students of Brookswood had them made a few months back. (yah, ok, we take them off at night!!)
We began to wonder a few weeks ago what would happen once the bands break down, wear out etc.
Ingrid, the fervent researcher and knowledge gatherer, came across some leather bands that we have ordered for the future. The bands we wear now every day and the ones we’ll wear in the future will be part of every outfit, every suit, every celebration or business meeting. You see, they fit with everything we wear and any occasion.
It’s a gentle reminder that Chris i
s with us always.
Ingrid and I wear all three different ones that were made by the Brookswood students. We love them all and in addition to reminding us about Chris, it also reminds us of how much he was loved by his friends.
As we approach the end of June, we ask all of our teen-age contacts out there to celebrate safely and have a great time.
Here’s how the bands looked tonight.
Husband and wife, wearing his bands for life.
The Elephant.
You know that expression, the elephant in the room?
Today is sort of one of those days.
Many people close to us know that today is 3 months since Chris’ passing.
Many have expressed their awareness and support and many have silently acknowledged that they know.
Yes, it is 3 months to the day. That’s the elephant. It’s ok to say.
In three short months we’ve (that’s all of us) built a fund at SFU that will live forever in Chris’ name.
In three short months we’ve all aimed to Be The Best! in some personal endevour.
In three short months we’ve all questioned why, but have learned to look forward by proceeding with one decision at a time.
In three short months, the new normal is slowly forming.
In three short months our worlds have changed forever.
In three short months we have identified with William Ernest Henley in his poem, Invictus.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
In three short months, we’ve learned that CHOICE is the secret weapon to our amazing futures!
In three short months, we’ve learned how much we still love Chris and miss Chris and wish he was here.
We know that won’t change, but we’ve learned that we will honour him and his memory forever by our actions, choices and how we treat people.
That’s a lot to learn in three short months.
Chris Friesen Inspirational Award
Chaz Williams is a student from Brookswood Secondary.
He was the very first recipient of the Chris Friesen Inspirational Award given out by the School last week.
With permission, this is from a message that Chaz sent me.
Chaz…this is awesome. This is Be The Best! This is inspirational. Great work. We are all proud of you!!
—————
Chaz – I was the first recipient of this award given out from Brookswood. This was the speech. He says many great things about Chris so I thought you would like to hear it. It was written by our weight training teacher.
Teacher – I feel privileged to be able to give out the Chris Friesen Inspirational Award because we get to remember a student who was an inspiration to students, teachers and his community. As well, we get to recognize the recipient who demonstrates many of the same qualities that Chris showed. As a PE student Chris was one of the best. He arrived to class with a smile on his face, and he had a laugh that was contagious.
When it came time to get down to business, his commitment to fitness was second to none. Chris always worked to achieve excellence in athletics and academics. If he missed a class due to his Lacrosse schedule he would take the initiative to find out what he had missed so he could get it done and keep his “A” average. What I most admired about Chris was how he carried himself amongst his peers often joking but also knowing when the joke was over. He was very outgoing in the hallways and was well respected by the entire school.
Much like Chris, the recipient of this award has demonstrated the following characterisitcs:
-a dedication to fitness
-a drive for high academics
-kindness and compassion
-a sense of social responsibility
– accepting others as equals
The recipient of this award was not a hard person to find. He is the guy walking down the hallway with a smile on his face stopping to talk to someone before making his way on to another friend. His commitment to fitness has allowed him to be one of the most well conditioned students in the school.
This year he made up his own workout program which included 20 mins of continuous skipping and 40 mins of core strengthening. I asked him what his goals were in fitness and he said that it just makes him feel good. This past Friday at 4:00, I saw him as he was doing extra credit work to try and get an “A” in his English class. This student is truly a great inspiration to all of us.
Please join me in congratulating the winner of the Chris Friesen Inspirational Award, Chaz Williams!
