Straight to vid tonight.
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Tag: loss
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Vuvuzela withdrawl…really?
Ok, it’s the first Sunday in about a month without a soccer match. That hurts.
I LOVE the World Cup along with a few billion people around the globe. I think that is one of the big reasons I like it so much. With American (Happy 4th of July) opinion aside, soccer IS the world’s sport and it’s fantastic to watch. With a little Dutch and German heritage in our family, we are hoping for a Netherlands/Germany final next Sunday.
I know Ingrid’s Uncle Don is a BIG Dutch supporter and lives in Holland so we may be leaning to the Netherlands and perhaps wearing a little orange if we can get through to the finals this week.
As you’ve seen documented in this blog many times, I love sports. Sports has also been an amazing help in getting through these first three months without Chris. Obviously lacrosse was a MAJOR part of our lives in the past 8 y
ears. Being able to go on the emotional ride with the Canucks this Spring and then following the Flyers (Hawks officially omitted from this blog until Canucks beat them in playoffs) through to the Cup Final, watching Tiger implode on the golf course and off, or following the World Cup of Soccer, it is the ‘guy drama’ that keeps many of us captivated and inspired. If I was writing a grief book for guys, there would be a chapter in there called, ‘watch sports on TV…it’s good for you’, or something like that!
Anyhoo…back to today…I am missing those vuvuzelas strangely enough. Hold it. There’s a BC Lions game on at 4? Great. Those CFL horns are a close 2nd.
Have a great week.
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Fire me up
On this holiday weekend, I hope some of you are able to enjoy a campfire. With current restrictions on fire size or fires at all, in some ways having a fire isn’t as easy as it used to be. (yes, that did make me sound old!)
We have an outdoor fireplace with open flame that really feels like the real thing…without the effort of chopping wood. I love it. As the weather turns just a bit warmer, there is nothing better than to sit outside on a crisp evening and enjoy the darting flames, odd crackle and wind wisped flickers of light coming from each ribbon of blue and orange.
Here’s my fire tonight. I often come out here alone and think or take the laptop with me and do anything from music composition editing to email. I would also come out here a lot with the boys. When Max and Chris heard me say, ‘let’s go have a fire’, they knew it was code for father/son chat about something!
See guys in particular, don’t care to sit down in a room and talk. We’d rather be doing stuff. A fire is a good distraction and gives guys something to look at and in that way you may even have more of a conversation beyond the usual grunting that us males are well known for.
In any event, this outdoor fireplace has been much more than a source of heat. It’s been a place to think, ponder and connect with my sons.
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Be The Best – Chaz style
When Chaz was over with the gang the other night, he brought over the Chris Friesen Inspirational plaque that he had won at Brookswood. As is my nature, I documented with a photo! This is probably the shortest blog ever, cause you don’t need to really read too much to see what this Be The Best thing is all about. If you haven’t read Chaz’s story…read it now and then this picture will be like another 1,000 words. Be The Best. Nice example Chaz. Cool. This is what we meant when we said Chris’ passion would fuel us.
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Invictus (the video)
If you read the blog a week ago or so, you know the impact the movie and poem Invictus had on me.
What an incredible poem by a man who had every reason to be questioning, bitter and unmotivated for the future.
Ditto for Nelson Mandela, the South African leader, who also had 27 years of reasons to be downtrodden.
Although not a straight line forward, step by step, decision by decision the choice is made to move forward.
Invictus means undefeated, and undefeated we’ll be in the long run.
These sunset pics are dedicated to my mom-in-law Grace who loves them (and is quite an amazing photographer herself!).
Enjoy. (note: by clicking on those arrow things under the video, you can watch in full screen)
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Ok, this was last night’s blog.
Wow.
I think I went about 80 straight days and then it all fell apart last night.
What did you do without a blog? What did I do? Well, I fell asleep watching the Slap Chop infomercial. I just hope I didn’t ‘sleep order’ 5 of them or something.
This may seem minor, but I wanted to blog daily through the end of June and then ease up a little through the summer. It’s one of those things…when you have a goal and you don’t quite meet it, do you quit? That’s how most New Year’s Resolutions end. Miss one day of exercise (busy), miss two days (tired) miss three days (work) and you’re done.
The best way I’ve learned to change habits is a very simple technique called Do It Now, Do It Now, DO IT NOW!!
Max and Chris heard this 1,000 times.
I remember as a kid going to the PNE and signing a form with my name and feeding it into a ‘handwriting analysis’ computer. For the late 70’s this was a big deal! The report came back with a number of things including that I had a ‘propensity for procrastination’. Turns out that was right…along with about 99% of the world’s population. Most of us tend to put things off…myself very much included.
So, when I deviate from my goal or don’t quite hit the mark, the quickest way to get going is DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW. Your ‘it’ may be different, but the result is the same. Another great example is push-ups. Since Chris’ passing, I’ve worked my way up to 50 push-ups per day. I aim to do these every day, but don’t always succeed. It is incredibly easy to forget one day, then two, then three and then look out!! DO IT NOW is about forgetting that I’m running a little late and getting down on the floor and pounding out 50 push-ups.
Have a great Canada Day!!
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Kids these days.
A gang of dudes (and Hope!) came by tonight for a little ping pong and socializing. Talk about a great group of kids…again! I have been so incredibly impressed with all the young people that Ingrid and I have met over the past few months. It makes me very excited about the future of our community and country to know we have such a great group of young minds ready to take a leadership role in the years to come. Of course we were just playing ping pong, talking about Chris, sports and catching up, but I know good character traits when I see them! btw, any employers out there in the Langley area, a few of these students still need some summer employment, so send me a message and I’ll set you up! (no, they didn’t ask me to write that bit)
I know as a parent, you are never sure if the things that you say and model actually are absorbed by your children. Since Chris’ passing we have heard story after story of what he was like and I have to say it has meant a huge deal to us to hear about how many of the things we taught him (and hopefully role-modeled) came through in his life and with his friends.
I know many parents reading this probably wonder if it’s happening with your own kids. Are they really listening? The short answer….YES. You probably just won’t hear too much about it!
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Lacrosse action
I was able to take in a Langley Thunder Midget A1 lacrosse game last Thurs.
They are in playdowns vs. Port Coquitlam. The winner will be going to the Provincials to be held in Mission July 14-18.
It is a best of 5 and Langley is up 2-0 after Thursday’s win with a big game in Aldergrove on Tuesday at 7:30 (I believe!).
It was great to see a game as the past few weeks had been way too light on taking in lacrosse action!
I wish both teams good luck on Tues.
Obviously lacrosse brings back many memories of Chris. This is one of the first videos I had put together from a trip to Florida to watch Chris play. He’s in a couple of the pics (#32), but the highlight is actually the Long Pole (defensive big stick used in field lacrosse) and the bend and torque on the stick as it is applied to the offensive player’s jersey! I just saw it tonight in my list of vids, and decided to share it here as I’m just missing seeing the kid play lacrosse. This video has been seen over 4,700 times so a few lacrosse players out there still like it.
Although watching lacrosse reminds me about Chris, I also LOVE to see all the players Chris played with over the years getting better and better (that includes Langley and many opposing teams!). Keep striving to Be The Best! I know you will. Ultimately, lacrosse is a way to learn how to work hard, be a great team member, strive to win and develop into incredible young men and women.
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The Elephant.
You know that expression, the elephant in the room?
Today is sort of one of those days.
Many people close to us know that today is 3 months since Chris’ passing.
Many have expressed their awareness and support and many have silently acknowledged that they know.
Yes, it is 3 months to the day. That’s the elephant. It’s ok to say.
In three short months we’ve (that’s all of us) built a fund at SFU that will live forever in Chris’ name.
In three short months we’ve all aimed to Be The Best! in some personal endevour.
In three short months we’ve all questioned why, but have learned to look forward by proceeding with one decision at a time.
In three short months, the new normal is slowly forming.
In three short months our worlds have changed forever.
In three short months we have identified with William Ernest Henley in his poem, Invictus.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
In three short months, we’ve learned that CHOICE is the secret weapon to our amazing futures!
In three short months, we’ve learned how much we still love Chris and miss Chris and wish he was here.
We know that won’t change, but we’ve learned that we will honour him and his memory forever by our actions, choices and how we treat people.
That’s a lot to learn in three short months.
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Invictus
We recently watched the movie Invictus.
Morgan Freeman stars as Nelson Mandela and team captain François Pienaar, is played by Matt Damon.
What an stunning movie about change and choice in South Africa. Mandela’s ability to forgive after 27 years in prison was amazing. And not just forgive, but move to unite a country. Quite an incredible story with the game of rugby serving as the stage. The poem Invictus was used as inspiration several times…especially the last few lines:
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
If that is not about the ability to choose…the ability we all have to decide how we will determine the future, I don’t know what is.
We can’t change the past, but we can change the future; one decision at a time.
Here’s the poem in it’s entirety. For more info on the author, Henley, click this link. He knew a few things about adversity.
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
— William Ernest Henley
Be The Best. 