Category: Be The Best.

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Be The Best.

The gang rolls in.

After a number of weeks of renovations, the ping pong ‘arena’ recently re-opened in the basement.

That means some ping pong must be played.

Tonight we had some of the old Brookswood gang over.  Great to see Allan, Beau, Cam and Marshall.

I don’t know if I’m just getting shorter…but these guys are definitely getting taller as we approach the 1/3 mark of their grad year.

Of course we think about what this grad year would have been like with Chris…for Chris and for us.  Looking forward to the future.  US colleges? SFU? Lacrosse scholarships?

Those questions will never be answered…and it’s hard.

That being said, it’s fantastic to hear the thoughts, dreams and plans of these young men and others like them as they prepare for their next steps.  Not that everything is clear yet.  My goodness…I had no idea what to do after Grade 12…but you start making decisions, see where that leads and make another decision and keep moving forward.

To everyone I would encourage you that things start with dreams.  Action (ie simple decisions) turn dreams into goals and goals into measurable tasks…usually on a daily and most certainly weekly basis.

Allan picked up his Chris Friesen memorial lacrosse shafts tonight and you see me and the guys in the pics below.  Thanks to Max for being the photographer tonight!

Remember…it’s ok to not know where you’re exactly going.  You just want to keep your feet moving.

THAT is advice that we are aiming to live every single day.

Great to see part of the Gang tonight!

Allan, Marshall, me, Beau and Cam.

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Be The Best.

Stair Into Space

I’m looking at a painting tonight that I was given last month.

It’s a watercolour showing a wooden pathway through a forest leading to a glorious sunrise or sunset.  You really can’t tell which one it is.

It’s called ‘into the light’ and reflects an image from Long Beach on Vancouver Island.

I love that picture.

Over the past number of months, the creation of music…sort of whatever was flowing in my mind at the time…has been a great way to express those things that there are no words for.

One of those songs I called ‘stair into space’.  The original title was ‘stare into space’, but when I saw this painting I changed the title.

I can see Chris’ journey and our journey as depicted through this watercolour.  We’re ALL on a journey constantly moving forward and moving towards the light with every step.

Maybe different stairways, maybe different pathways.  We may take some detours and will most certainly have many decision points along the way.  That being said, the movement is in the direction of the light.

Stair into space.  Here’s the link:

Stair Into Space

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Be The Best.

Money buys happiness?

Sort of.

Maybe.

It may be how you spend the money you have.

I’ve thought a lot about happiness in the past 7 months.  What has made us happy in the past?  What do we most cherish now that Chris continues with us in spirit only?  How do we be happy now?  Is it realistic even?  (answer: yes…another blog or book on this one!)

The Province Paper had an interesting article today entitled, ‘Ten Ways to Buy Happiness’.

Really?

I expected a quick read, but found myself absorbed by the UBC Prof, Elizabeth Dunn’s comments.

Here are five ways money can buy happiness according to the Province article referring to Dunn’s paper.

1. Buy many small lovely things rather than one big one
4. Buy experiences, not things
5. Spend on others, not yourself
7. Delay, delay, delay consumption
8. Happiness is in the details
Many small, lovely things….like COFFEE!  Ingrid and I calculated a number of years ago how much we were spending at that place that makes coffee and rhymes with Moonshucks.  It was a lot.  Then we had another thought.  We devised a coffee budget that allotted for that expense and simply skipped a dinner or two out each month.  Done deal.  For us, the coffee time provided that 15-20 minute ‘quick connect’ with busy schedules and allowed us to maximize family time while still being connected.  It was always more that coffee…it was a connection.  I get this point…and love it as I’ve learned to love the long pour americano…with room.  Find a good barista, grab your spouse or friend and try one!
Buying experiences, not things.  Wow.  How much has this meant to us?  The world.  Literally.  I have my wife to thank for a few times where I would have been a bit more budget conscious, but the experiences we had as a family are so priceless I would have gladly paid 10x more.  (Don’t tell that to the zipline people, whale watching people, travel agents, flight centres, or hotel folks either!)
I remember one trip that we took to Victoria and decided to go whale watching.  I still can hear the sound of those great beasts breathing and pulsing through the water as we waited in quiet and intense anticipation on a still kodiak boat floating several hundred metres in front of an approaching pod.  Seeing the excitement and pure joy on Max and Chris’ faces will be something we will have forever.  Experiences…not stuff.  Totally get it.
Anyways, a great article and very interesting.  Can money buy happiness?
I think the Prof’s co-authored study title says it best I think. “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy, Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right”.
Interesting.
You can read more by following the link below.
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Be The Best.

Ping Pong…it’s a sport.

I take some razzing at work because I like to play Ping Pong.  Yah…capital letters.

It’s a sport.

Some call it an activity, pastime, club; but that is totally incorrect.

Last year I had the opportunity to play a police officer from Berlin during the Police and Fire Games held in Vancouver.  The Ping Pong tournament was held at BCIT.  You can see some footage below.  She kicked me…hard.

In any event, I love to play.

Chris loved Ping Pong too, but it was played slightly differently.  Sure, he would play with his Dad from time to time, but when his buddies came over, the real Pong started.  They took off their shirts and up to 6 of them would run around the table taking turns hitting the ball.  In short order, someone would miss.  The guy at the other end of the table who had taken the victorious shot was then given a chance to smash a ball as hard as he could into the other guy’s bare chest or back.

Ever been around 16 or 17 year old males?  This is actually pretty normal.

They would laugh, smash balls at each other, admire the welts they had made and do it again.

It’s called male bonding and I loved to see that gang have a great time…as long as their parents weren’t worried about where the welts were coming from!

In any event, my nephew Steve, when he was up in September surprised me with a birthday gift.  It was a sandpaper Ping Pong bat custom designed with a Be The Best logo and a CF2 on the other side.

How cool is that!

I’d play with it, but don’t want to take a chance of wrecking it, so I’ve settled for a little online Ping Pong as pictured below.

Remember…Ping Pong is a sport.

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Be The Best.

Elephant Boy.

November 2006.

A family get together.

The cousins doing their cousin thing…having fun and goofing around.

Chris had this knack of peeling a mandarin orange in such a way that it became an elephant trunk.

Try it if you dare.

That kid could make anyone laugh…and feel comfortable and safe and secure and loved.

He had a skill for that too.

Bri, Chris, Jess, Jonathan, Pera and Max ready for some ice cream.

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Be The Best.

Close shave.

When the boys were growing up and entering those very early teen years, I told them both that I wanted to be there on their first shave.  Max was ok with that, Chris decided to have his first shave on his own…cause he liked to play outside the edges from time to time.  This was December 2006.

Although I was sad to miss the first shave, I insisted I join on the second and of course brought the camera.  We got a lot of laughs over that situation in the months and years that followed.

I am writing this post with a smile on my face as I remember this shave and another father/son moment that I will have forever.

I think you might have missed a spot...

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Be The Best.

Blackie Spit

I don’t know who Blackie is.

I don’t know why he or she spit.

I do know they named a place after it and it’s in Crescent Beach near White Rock.  That’s the name: Blackie Spit.

We had never walked that far down the beach, but we did today.

I love the Fall.  The colours, the crisp air, the light.

There was  a big flowering bush we found again today.  All the flowers are gone at this time of year, but we still knew it was the one….at the very entrance of Blackie Spit that we hadn’t ventured past before.  Chris and Max had posed for pictures there dutifully with grandparents and parents on an outing when they were 10ish and 8ish we were guessing.

Today we walked past that bush to a path we had not been on before.  A new trail.  A new road.  A new adventure even.  And many more lay ahead.

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Be The Best.

Feeling quilty.

I’ve gone a week or two without a blog post about quilts.

That won’t do.

I found these pics today from August 2009.  We were having a Friesen family reunion and this was the time where my Mom had the idea to make a family quilt.  You can see that finished product here.

Anyways, I loved these pics of Chris making his square as well as a great shot of him and his cousins fooling around.

These times are so exceptionally treasured.

 

Chris checks out Bri's quilting square.

 

 

Johnathan, Chris, Bri, Pera, Max, Jessica - Summer '09

 

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Be The Best.

Wee Trolls and We Day

I was struck by two very different articles in this morning’s newspapers.

The Province carried a story called, ‘Take back Facebook’ which highlighted an ugly reality of cyberspace.  That reality is that there are people out there (called trolls), who search for memorial sites and place inappropriate (at best) and confrontational messages.  Sad to say, we’ve seen those trolls on Chris’ site too including this past week.  We remove them and ban them and then move on.  You know why?  They are wee trolls (as in small and insignificant).  In other words, those actions only speak to the people conducting those actions and they are not indicative of the majority.

I wrote early on in this blog experience about how Facebook Saved our Lives.  We remember those days so clearly.  Ingrid would spend hours each day reading the messages of support and in those darkest of nights, they kept us going.  We still encourage anyone who wants to know about Chris and our family to read this blog and read the messages on his memorial site.  The whole story is there including the 2 part eulogy.

So from wee trolls we move to article number two featuring We Day.  This is very cool. This is an event happening in Vancouver today that is tied to Free the Children.  What I love about this is that it is youth inspiring youth.  It is everything that is positive about young people.  Vision, desire, passion, action.  Love it.

You can check out We Day and all it means via this link.

Technology provides opportunity.  As humans we can make that positive or negative.

We will continue to monitor the bad and deal with wee trolls, because we know that the power of good as exhibited through the We Day events is the REAL power of young people today.

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Be The Best.

Steaming to Be The Best.

The Canucks honoured Stan Syml the other night at Roger’s Arena.

For those ‘well aged’ enough to remember, Stan ‘Steamer’ Syml epitomized the lunch bucket, hard working, never quit attitude of the Canucks in the early 80’s and led the Canucks on their improbable run to the Stanley Cup Finals in 1982.

I talked to Max and Chris about Stan Syml and my new favourite over the more recent years Trevor Linden.

I have the most priceless pictures of each of those players drawn by Max and Chris (Max drew Linden, Chris drew Syml) with their hockey cards inserted in the frame.  They gave them to me as Christmas or Birthday presents about 10 years ago and they are still proudly displayed in my office at BCIT.

The thing I loved about Smyl was that he just never quit.  It wasn’t about talent.  It wasn’t about speed.  It wasn’t about size.  It was about heart.

Love it.

As we enter another hockey season, I will never forget the conversations about hockey and sports and how we weaved that into conversations about life and working hard to achieve goals etc.

That’s Be The Best!