Tag: Dads and grief

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Be The Best.

Plans don’t work.

For those of you who know me you may be immediately question my mental state. What? This guy is all about planning. Has he had a mid life crisis and reversed his position? Ok, I did look at a massive gold chain and convertible mustang full of Detroit muscle, but I didn’t do either. 😉

And spoiler alert – I haven’t changed my position about planning – but I’m growing more interested in paradoxes and this is a great one.

The more you plan, the more pigs you may see flying. Just sayin. It’s that powerful.

A business colleague passed on a fantastic article about Dwight Eisenhower. A statement he used to use a lot was:

“Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.”

How many times have you set a plan and then things change? If I’m honest, a lot or maybe always! However, having the plan in the first place has already forced us to think about WHY we are doing something. The HOW can change, the WHY should remain the same.

If you want more on the WHY – Simon Sinek is a great author and resource on that topic.

So – do plans change? YES

Should we stop planning? NO

Planning is an action word. It produces momentum. You can adjust along the way. We know about that as a family. We ALL know about that through this COVID19 crisis.

Stay safe and keep planning – even though things may not work out exactly as you imagined.

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Be The Best.

Oh Mama.

I confess. I still watch Family Guy from time to time. Totally inappropriate and outrageous, it was a show that us three boys (Chris, Max and me) would utilize to work on our father/sons bonding while containing our misguided laughter. I hope that passes as enough of an excuse…

There was a scene that became hilarious in our home because it became real life. Remember that bit where Stewie couldn’t get his Mom, Lois’ attention? Here’s the quick clip to remind you. Ok, Ingrid (Max and Chris’ Mom and my long suffering wife!) had developed a unique skill living in a house with just guys. She could tune us out. I mean TOTALLY tune us out. She would be quietly reading a book while the three of us would be watching hockey, munching snacks, exuding bodily noises, laughing and even talking to her – she totally blocked it out. Big skill for sure.

So…Chris started doing the routine. Mom, Mum, ingrid, mommy, mamma, louder and louder – then INGRID! That usually got her attention. That ‘bit’ became comedy gold in the Friesen household multiple times per month. Author’s note: I never encouraged or endorsed this behavior. (mostly)

Just watching the clip again makes me smile as I think of Chris’ routine. The love that Chris and Max and Ingrid have is one that only exists with Moms and sons. Totally special and unique. To Ingrid and all the Moms out there – a very Happy Mother’s Day. May your memories bring you smiles and warmth as only a deep love can create.

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Be The Best.

A tattoo…for your car.

I know many of us remember Chris is so many different ways.  I still see many of those wrist band things when we’re out and about. Awesome.  We’ve worn ours every day for 10 1/2 months and I’m not sure when we’re ever going to stop.

I’ve seen more than one tattoo.  Cool. (again, from a parent’s perspective, we’re not pushing tattoos, but we understand the DEEP meaning of getting one and we are incredibly humbled and honoured when someone makes that personal decision to honour Chris in that way!!)

I’ve seen email accounts, twitter accounts and facebook stuff all acknowledging and remembering Chris.  Love it.

But one thing I had not seen…until now.

What would a tattoo for your car look like?

Well, I think Will VH, a good friend and lacrosse bud of Chris’, figured that out.

He just received the one and only set of CF 2 license plates in the entire province of British Columbia.

Cool.

Take a look at the pic below.  I think it says it all.

Love it Will.  Drive safe and Be The Best!

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Be The Best.

Chris Friesen Memorial Award….DELIVERED.

I think I have a week’s worth of stuff to blog about.

Just like CoJo (I’m disturbed I know his name) at the Golden Globes, I’ll have my complete list of best dressed and worst dressed and other red carpet secrets later this week….or not.  (before I get in trouble…everyone looked fantastic…even most of those lacrosse players clean up pretty good or at least had their mom’s or girlfriends iron a shirt for them which is a big step forward. (I have license to state these facts having lived with a lacrosse player for years…!))

What an evening.

I had not been at the Westwood Plateau facility since the Maple Leaf Award dinner last year.  That was of course a different kind of evening.  Chris won the BMS U-18 Defensive MVP award and we had a great evening hosted by Steve Darling from Global and Brian Price the keynote speaker, a gold medal Olympic rower.

This year, Scott Rintoul from TEAM1040 did a great job of hosting the sold-out event and Max Ritz, lacrosse player, entrepreneur and actor (The Hills on MTV- Season 6) provided interesting insight into the sport and the amazing future this game of lacrosse has.

And although there was to be a Chris Friesen award in 2011 as well, it was very very different that is for sure.

It was really fantastic to have Max with us along with his girlfriend Kiera.  To be together as a family was huge for us.  To have Langley families there was amazing.  There was a family who flew their son in from his lacrosse school in VIRGINIA (yes, I mean east coast USA) to be there at the dinner last night as he played with Chris on the BMS program and wanted to honour his friend.

Are you kidding me?

These lacrosse families are simply awesome.

The BMS/SFU leadership gang asked if I’d put together a video intro to Chris’ award.  I was honoured to do so, but it did not come easily.  I had not seen Chris speaking for months and months and there are days where I can stare into those beautiful eyes and days where I just can’t.  That’s all part of this thing.  It’s all simply part of the deep love that provokes emotion far to bottomless for words or comprehension.

Here it is.  Enjoy.  Much more on this tomorrow…including pictures and who was awarded the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.

(ps…in case you’re wondering about the music about 30 seconds in…Thunderstruck by AC/DC is a tribute to the Langley Thunder lacrosse players and families as this was in essence the theme song for Langley Thunder lacrosse)

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Be The Best.

From tats to floor mats.

In honour of Chris’ b-day there was a lot of yogurt consumed and push-ups completed amoung other things like steak eating and ice cream cake devouring.

In this video evidence you can see my nephew Steve rockin out his push-up tribute from Charleston, South Carolina, USA!

Cool.

Although as parents we’re not advocating tattoos, we know that they are a very powerful form of remembrance.

When I saw Devon’s tattoo, I loved it.  Devon is a friend of Chris’ from Brookswood Secondary and you saw him in the yogurt toast picture from yesterday’s blog.

Look closely.  Not only does his tattoo say ‘forever young’, but it has Chris’ signature.

I asked Devon if it hurt.

He said yup…but I’m sure he didn’t care.

My eyes were wet when I looked closely and took in the full impact of the moment and thought about the future and how Chris will be with Devon forever.

That was an amazing show of friendship, respect and I’m hoping a driving force for Devon through life’s journey ahead!

Whether we wear our tattoos on our arms or on our hearts, we are RIGHT WITH YOU DEVON!

Chris Friesen has affected us forever.  And I mean that in the most positive way.

His attention to fitness.

His attention to healthy eating.

His attention to following your dreams.

His attention to goals to attain those dreams.

His attention to Being The Best.

As the day ended on Friday, January 14, 2011 we felt a strong peace that Chris was happy…and so were we.

Rock your week and Be The Best.