Month: May 2010

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Be The Best.

Playoff beards and other things that change.

It was exactly one year ago tonight.  Max, Chris and myself screamed and yelled at the TV as we watched our beloved and sometimes ‘behated’ Canucks eliminated in the Stanley Cup Playoffs by the Chicago Blackhawks.

Nice work on the beard Max!

I told the boys that sick feeling they had in their guts was their graduation in becoming a true long-term Canucks fan.

I was in Grade 12 for the ’82 ride to the cup finals vs the ___________ (if you said New York Islanders you are correct)… and I went to Game 6 live with my good friend Mark Funk in ’94 that forced the famous Game 7 back in New York against the Rangers to battle for the NHL’s top honour.

Fast forward to 2009 and 2010.  Nothing changed for the Canucks in these playoffs.  Luongo had issues.  The defence was hurt and a better Chicago team dominated when needed.  For us of course, everything has changed.  There was no Chris in the room tonight.

This is just one of countless things that we continue to go through and it’s just part of the process…oh how I hate that word.  Earlier in the playoffs I actually thought about how I would feel if the Canucks made a long run this year and Chris wouldn’t be here to share in the victory after decades of loss.  Perhaps thankfully, we don’t have to cross that bridge this year?  I have very mixed feelings about that.

There were other changes as well.  Max grew a playoff beard.  The pictoral evidence is included here.  He also shaved it off tonight.  Another first…but as a Canuck fan son, it probably won’t be the last time you shave your beard off in April or May as opposed to June.

That being said, I’m mighty proud of the beard you grew Max.  That is a change that I’m very proud to see.  Nice work…and don’t forget the shaving balm after you’re done.

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Be The Best.

The ‘new normal’ hits San Diego

My nephew Steve contacted us several weeks back suggesting he may have a week of work coming up in San Diego.  Once confirmed, it took us about 25 minutes to have our flights and hotel booked.  Meggan even flew in from South Carolina and we had a great weekend together.

Now here’s a few behind the scenes moments.  In these pictures we look happy….and we were…and are.  However, Max actually had a bad case of the flu that came up very suddenly traveling down and through the weekend and even though he still did stuff, he didn’t eat much and felt pretty weak.  You probably couldn’t figure that out just by looking at these pictures.

What you also can’t see is those painful moments that keep coming in like clouds loaded with rain.  They do pass and sometimes there is even a rainbow, but we usually just don’t take pictures of those times.  I get concerned sometimes that people might think we’re too happy.  We’re not.  We’re not acting either.  When I looked at the pictures you see here, the first thing I thought of was ‘the new normal’…here we are the three of us, all with our wrist bands and Chris with us in spirit.  The new normal.

By the way, the film maker who brought you ‘Walking in Langley’, may even have a ‘Walking in San Diego’ movie coming up.

THANKS to Steve and Meggan for arranging their worlds to spend some time with us this weekend.  We love ya lots.

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Be The Best.

Mother’s Day

September 2005, Max, Ingrid, Randy and Chris

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

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Be The Best.

Loops, lax and Boom!

Last weekend was spent up in Kamloops as previously documented.  For those joining us outside of BC, Kamloops is a 3 hour drive through a few mountains on the way to the interior of British Columbia.  I put this little video of lacrosse action together from Sunday’s semi final between Kamloops and Langley.  Kamloops played well led by a certain number 14, Blaine Boomer and friends as you can see in the vid.  On the last play of the video I’ve slowed it down so you can see how fast this game really is.  Someone will know who that Langley player is…yes, let me know…you’ll see the footwork and hustle to get the rebound after  a great save by the Kamloop’s goalie.

Blaine’s folks, Jim and Carolynn were our hosts for the weekend.  Carolynn in the middle of planning gourmet dinners and breakfasts was also preparing for a track and field challenge on Sunday where she only SET THE CANADIAN MASTER’S SHOT PUT DISTANCE RECORD!!  I’d say nice work! Congrats Carolynn and everyone who is out there BEING THE BEST!

Go play lacrosse.  Go do the Shot Put.  Do some push-ups or go take your Mom out for lunch.  Be The Best…in everything.  CF#2 forever.

Bonus: If you want to experience a little Boomer Kamloops hospitality yourself, they own a big condo at Sun Peaks that they rent out.  Check it out here.

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Be The Best.

Is it ok to laugh?

Laughing was a big part of the relationship we had as a family.

Everyone had their roles.  Max, some witty banter playing off a bad pun from me.  Chris, some physical humor or just being Chris and Ingrid being funny without trying to be..which was the funny part! (yah, I know you had to be there most of the time to get this…)

In any event, what I’ve been learning in the past 6 weeks is how close laughter is to tears.  How close love is to anguish.  These apparent opposites are more like close cousins.  The yo-yo and elevator metaphors have never been more real.  Tears are usually just moments or seconds away from laughter.  The emotion continues to be strong.

But is it ok to laugh?  Yes. Yes. Yes.  I can’t imagine what this time would be like without the fragrant punctuation of laughter in the middle of the rain of sadness.  That is truly what it feels like.  The sadness and sorrow is like a fog or a misty Vancouver rain that gets right into your bones.  The laughter is like the perfect cup of coffee on those rainy days.  Yes, it’s ok to laugh…in fact it’s just what the doctor ordered.

In that vein, my amazing crazy group in BCIT’s Marketing department put together a little video this week in our spare time.  Part One you’ve seen before, but I’ll put it here again, and the new video, ‘don’t wear the wrong jersey on gameday part 2’ is below.  We had lots of laughs putting these together…I hope you do when watching.  And finally today….Canucks…please get your act together.  Sorry…just had to say that.

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Be The Best.

When a picture says it all.

July 2004 roadtrip

Sometimes a picture really does say it all.  This road trip in 2004 was epic.  The boy’s personalities were continuing to develop.  Good Charlotte was a ‘tough’ rock band at the time and Chris wore the hat proudly.  (he would later recant any knowledge of the band or ever listening to them…but that is the life of a tween!)  Max in the Star Wars shirt, developing that fast intellect and witty banter.  Chris getting ready to pounce and try to physically outdo his older brother.

Those were the days.

We’re connecting with family this weekend.  You’ll hear/see more about it next week.  It’s going to be a great time except for one glaring missing piece.

But Chris, we will feel your presence and your passion is fueling us!

It’s so awesome to have Max with us.  That Dude has been an unbelievable member of our family team and a great mind.  A world changer I believe.

We had a family motto and still do.

I’ ll be there for you.

Max, you are sure there for us now and we for you.  Chris, we will be there for you forever.

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Be The Best.

Poem week continues…

An 11 year old Chris enjoys a banana split...before his famous 'no junk food ever' years!

Maybe it’s just poem week, but my Dad shared this one with me and it really resonates.  Not parted…only just apart.  No more to say than that.

“Not gone…but only gone before
To where love lives on evermore.

Not lost…but only lost from sight.
As one who walks ahead at night.

Not parted…only just apart.
In memory kept close to heart.

Not of the past…but now to be
A part of all eternity.”

(Constance Parker Graham)

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Be The Best.

FAQ re CFMA

Ya, for the non-texting among us..that would be code for Frequently Asked Questions regarding the Christian Friesen Memorial Award.

Q: Are you funneling the money into an account in the Cayman Islands?

A: No.  All funds collected are given to Simon Fraser University.  SFU administers the fund and issues tax receipts for all donations.

Q: I’ve heard about this $20,000 target.  That is strangely similar to the price of Canucks season tickets.

A: Good point.  The $20,000 is the level at which the Christian Friesen Memorial Award will live forever.  The interest is paid out each year, leaving the principle intact and ready to earn more interest for the following year.

Q: So how much is the yearly award going to be and who gets it?

A: Your questioning has a very aggressive tone.

Q: YAH….I COULD GET MORE AGRESSIVE

Editor’s note:  you having enough of this approach? I’m sorta done with it 😉

A: The yearly award will vary depending on interest rates, but will be in the $1,000 per year range and increase as the fund grows over time.  The funds will be given out yearly at the Maple Leaf Award dinner that the SFU and Burnaby Mountain Select lacrosse organizations organize.  The Christian Friesen Memorial Award will be given to a lacrosse playing student who exhibits leadership skills and the ability to contribute to his community.

Q: When will the first award be given out?

A: Even though the interest on the fund will not have a full year to mature, Ingrid and I are determined to give out the first award in January 2011 at the next banquet…just 8 months from now.  We will do this by making an additional one-time donation personally.

Q: Do you and Ingrid contribute to the fund as well?

A: Yes and so does Max.  Our donations to the fund will continue for the rest of our lives.  We want to continue to see the fund build over time through personal donations and we want to challenge lacrosse playing students for decades to come to Be The Best.

Q: Where is the fund at?

A: We are nicely half way there…over $10,000 has been donated to date for which we are humbly grateful!  This includes direct donations, cash and cheque donations and monies received from wrist band sales etc.  Every penny has been amazing.  In addition to these monies, every thought, email, Facebook post, prayer, food donation at the service, food for us etc etc is all a part of this in our opinion.  The support has been amazing.

Q: How do we participate?

A: On-line is safe and direct.  NOTE: When designating, choose Fund of your choice (top of list) from drop down menu and then specify: Christian Friesen Memorial Award  Direct Link to on-line

Link to printable PDF

Secret:  There is a human at the other end of the SFU forms, so as long as you put Christian Friesen somewhere on the form, they will process it correctly.  The staff at SFU University Advancement office have been fantastic.  (thanks Wanda!)

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Be The Best.

Crying over spilt (or spilled) milk…and trucker hats.

For the first time that we can remember, we had to pour milk down the drain.  Simple problem. The 4 litre container had gone past date.  Not a big deal…except for the memories surging back of the same-size milk container not even lasting 3 days.  Today at Safeway we bought a 2 litre container of milk…it didn’t spill, but it might as well have.  It’s the little things that get you.  Ingrid reminded me that a 2 litre of milk is part of the ‘new normal’. She’s right, but tonight I would love nothing more than to buy 8 litres of milk and 40 yogurt containers for my boys.

Yesterday I gave my Dad a trucker hat.  You know the ones….anyone over 60 wears those hats with the mesh backing and sort of has them sit on top of their head?

Grandpa and Chris, Dec 31, 2009

Chris (and his many buddies) thought this was the coolest trend in their teens and trucker hats were catching on everywhere.  When Ingrid and I were in Hawaii last year we made sure we brought a hip trucker hat home for Chris.  He had his Grandpa model it when we met them at Silver Star at New Years.  Dad had grown a beard for a Christmas production at their church and Chris thought the beard was the coolest thing he ever saw.  He propped the trucker hat on his Grandpa’s head and I snapped some pics.

Wear that hat proudly Dad…I know you will.

I’m going to make Max some chocolate milk.

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Be The Best.

Look close, ‘giving’ is a part of ‘grieving’.

Chris' Grandma and Grandpa above Okanagan Lake

Vernon is a picturesque 70 minute drive from Kamloops.  Ingrid and I blitzed up there on Saturday to have lunch with my sister, AC (Cathy AJ Hardy) who had some weekend concerts in the Okanagan and also my parents who live in Vernon.  In honour of Mother’s Day (yes, I know it’s next week!), we took Mom out to the restaurant at Gray Monk Winery just south of Vernon.  Editorial: Great food, service and wine. Go.

Do these people look like they’re in their upper 70’s or late 50’s? It’s hard to tell!

Chris and Max loved going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  When they moved to Vernon, the adventures would usually be week long summer jaunts that included hiking, biking, swimming and the now famous, ‘midnight snack’!  Another highlight was word games which Mom and Dad still play daily.  Scrabble and Boggle were constants or should I say consonants.

I’m not sure why, but I was thinking about the noun GRIEF and the VERB GRIEVE this week.  Grieve is an ‘action word’ if we remember our high school English teachers.  Then I saw something very interesting.  The word GIVE lives inside the word GRIEVE.  We have been blown away by people giving to us during this time.  I write this post from the Boomer family home in Kamloops where they’ve been so incredibly wonderful to us.  (when Langley plays Kamloops today at 1130 in the semi’s we are really going to be in a pickle!!)  From the lacrosse families to my brother-in-law in Vernon (Steve Wulff) who made me speechless yesterday when re presented Ingrid and I with a pencil drawing of Chris…the GIVING has been incredible.

Let me also tell you that our ability to GIVE has been helping us.  A simple act like taking family for lunch or providing support to others has been incredibly helpful for us as well as we continue to find the ‘new normal’.

Is GIVING part of GRIEVING?  Yes…it’s there in black and white.