Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.
This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. I realize that is a hard concept for those south of the 49th parallel, but for those that embrace a more North American approach, you can have turkey in Oct and then again in late November if you plan your family gatherings properly!
We had a big dinner on the Friesen side of the family last night. Lots of laughs, ping-pong and of course Chris was never far from our thoughts.
During the latter part of dinner we Skyped Steve and Meggan in South Carolina. I know many families are doing this regularly, but I still love the concept of passing a wireless connected laptop (a Mac of course) around the table and for the next 45 minutes of the call it was if the miles were erased. They had a conversation with each of the 20 people present and it felt like the family was more complete!
With the passing of Steve Jobs this past week, I began to wonder last night if he would continue his amazing technology push on the other side of our human existence. Could we maybe Skype to heaven in the future? I know it sounds crazy, but I’m only half joking. If anyone can do it, it will be Steve Jobs…and when he does, I hope that Chris has signed up to be a beta tester.
I took a look at my Thanksgiving post from last year.
I still feel the same.
The pain of loss in year two does not subside. Maybe the edges dull for moments or parts of moments, but the reality of a void that will never fill is just that, a reality.
That being said we make choices everyday.
One is to be thankful for what we had as opposed to being bitter for what we don’t have.
Don’t misunderstand, it is impossible as parents (and those of you as friends, cousins, classmates, lacrosse buddies of Chris) to not think of what it would be like with Chris still here. If he had played at SFU or a Canadian University, this weekend would be the first reconnecting point after his Freshman term start. If he was in the US, we may be traveling with Max for a quick family reunion. Who knows.
What I’ve learned over time is that you must let your mind go there, but it can’t stay there. If you stay with the ‘what ifs’, it will paralyze you.
Instead we will concentrate on what we had and for those 17 most amazing years we are so thankful. We are also so amazingly grateful at seeing how Chris’ life continues to inspire people (including us!) to Be The Best. An amazing gift and legacy that will forever be a part of so many of us.
I’d write a new list, but I’m still pretty happy about last years, so here is that post.
Have a great time with your families and friends this weekend.
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Just a quick note to wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.
People have asked me what we’re doing, how we are ‘celebrating’ etc.
It would be easy to think that there is not much to be thankful for this year, but strangely enough I feel mostly the opposite.
Please don’t misunderstand. If we could, we would have Chris back in a millisecond. That is a given. That will not change. Our love for Chris only grows day by day and we miss him so terribly much.
That being said, we know he physically can no longer be with us so we must choose to continue our journey on earth with Chris with us in spirit…and that’s what we’re doing.
So with that as the consistent backdrop, do we have things to be thankful for?
Yes. Here’s 5 of them.
Family – My wife and son Max are amazing to me. I couldn’t be more proud. (extended family too!!)
Friends – Continue to be friends in the deepest sense of the word.
Work Colleagues – Quietly supportive by allowing work to be a place of alternate focus.
Sports – Love watching competition. Love competing.
Coffee – It’s those small things in life that can be so great…especially when you’re sharing.
Thankful?
Yes.
And although not on an official list, I am so incredibly thankful for every event, photo, moment, laugh, discussion, drive, walk, ping-pong game or meal we had with Chris. So incredibly thankful.
Chris…know that we love you so very much and we LOVED every moment we had with you.
For that we are thankful, not just this weekend, but forever.
Not Empire, but we went to the opening of the new BC Place on Friday with 50,000 of our closest friends and saw those same BC Lions beat the Eskimos in a great match at a fantastic new facility.
New building aside, the best aspect of the evening was another experience shared and added to the memory banks for life.
Those are gold and worth every cent of admission…and then some. (just don’t tell the Lions that…I don’t want them to raise their ticket prices)
When I was a BCIT student back in the late 1980’s I had an instructor who inspired me.
He loved market research and that was what had drawn me back to post secondary as a ‘mature’ (insert your own joke here) student.
He had connections. We worked with Canadian Holidays interviewing customers coming back from vacation in Cancun. Yes, along with 2 other students, we flew down to Cancun, left the plane because of custom issues, stayed at the airport for 2 hours and then reboarded the plane and interviewed returning vacationers who had just spent one or two weeks in the sun. People thought we were crazy, but I loved it. The pilot announced that BCIT students were heading down the aisles passing out surveys and I just thought the whole thing was cool.
Months later I was privileged enough to be in the Boardroom of Whistler/Blackcomb presenting another research report that we had conducted as students…actually interviewing people on the ski hill while going up the chairlift or at the restaurant.
Ron also had connections with the Canucks and although that didn’t occur during my stint as a student, BCIT was very connected with the organization.
Ron evenutally left BCIT and has sadly passed away a numbers of years back, but I will NEVER forget him or his influence on me.
Fast forward to last night, Oct 1, 2011.
We’ve been rekindling the relationship with the Canucks and I was very excited to have a group of students and staff working the concourse levels of Roger’s arena, creating hockey cards for kids and connecting with our alumni.
What made it even more cool was Max was one of the student volunteers as he is now in BCIT’s Broadcasting program.
In talking to our students helping out last night, it was obvious that the connection with the Canucks was a big deal and that kind of linkage between BCIT and the Canucks brand is pretty unique.
For me I loved the fact that we are connected again. I thought of Ron Venne and the influence one person can have. I thought of Chris and his continuing impact. I not only thought of Max, but saw him in action and thought about how privileged I am to be able to experience that.
I can’t look into the sky without thinking about Chris.
Whether it’s the moon and stars at night or an intense cloud formation or even occasional blue sky during the day!
Max and I had another reason to gaze heavenwards on Friday as we were guests of friends and business clients Mainland Machinery at the Abbotsford International Airshow.
It had been probably 10 years since we were last there and it was awesome to be back.
From the static displays to the roar of the jets, we had a great time.
You can’t go to that event without thinking and acknowledging all of our servicemen and women who have sacrificed so much for our freedoms. We salute them all!!
And yes, as I watched the jets scream by and the parachutes float down, I thought about Chris with every look to the sky.
My personal lexicon was increased by a new phrase just a few weeks ago.
Sprint Triathlon.
I think that’s basically an oxymoron to start with.
Ok young readers. This is probably the highest number of big words used in the opening of this blog ever…but in celebration of back to school just 4 weeks away, we’ll continue.
A sprint triathlon is a swim, bike and running race…except the distances are shorter than a full length event.
These are perfect events for those wanting a triathlon experience and are trying something new or simply want a shorter distance.
Don’t be fooled. This is still an extreme sport! 750m in the pool. That is a lot of lengths. 18k on the bike. I get tired driving that far and usually would require 2 Starbucks stops. 5k running after all that? Yah right.
Cool. Except he didn’t really have a bike, didn’t have any specific training and didn’t know a soul who was going in this event.
I’m super proud of the kid. He approached this like he was trying something new and what he didn’t know wasn’t going to stop him from trying. For example, he knew he didn’t have all the specialized gear but that didn’t get in his way. He finished in 90 minutes exactly and was right in the middle of the pack. That is an incredible result for trying an event for the first time without coaching or training with a team or the superior clothing and equipment of most racers.
It’s really Be The Best principle personified.
What I mean by that is Be The Best is about so much more than winning. It’s about competing. It’s about trying something new. It’s about not letting the fear of the unknown get in your way.
IT’S ABOUT NOT KNOWING EXACTLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO REACH A GOAL, BUT SETTING THE GOAL AND THEN STARTING FORWARD ANYWAYS!
Nice job Max. We are very proud of ya!!
Here’s a little video proof. Note: (Time clock on picture is not official for each racer because of a graduated start in the pool for the swim portion of the race. Max’s official time was 1:30:00 on the nose)
The #2 is being proudly worn on a field lacrosse pitch in Germany this week and next.
Better yet, it’s representing Canada.
Even better yet, it’s a shout out to Chris on the back of Ashley Bull who at the age of 16 made the U19 National Field Lacrosse team for Canada. She is the only player from British Columbia and very close to the youngest on the squad.
Her Grandfather, the legendary lacrosse figure Harvey Bull, told me the story of her getting #2 this past weekend at the boys Intermediate Box Lacrosse Provincial championships.
Team Canada players were assigned numbers, but before they went to Germany to represent our country, they were allowed to select the jersey numbers to wear. Ashley has not traditionally chosen #2, but wanted to do it for Chris. What that means to me and our family I cannot properly express. As the story went, another girl also wanted #2. Ashley told her the story of Chris and what he meant as an inspiration to her and her teammate kindly, graciously and wonderfully allowed Ashley to wear #2.
I understand from Ashley’s family that the flu is going through the team and knocked her out of at least the first game of the tournie. Some things are in your control and some aren’t. As the team heads into the second week of competition, we wish Ashley and all of our fellow Canadians the best of luck as they represent for Canada.
I will be thinking of that #2 flying around the field and I know that the same ‘cloud box seats’ Chris had for the boys Provincial final will again be used by Chris and friends cheering on Team Canada in Germany.
GO CANADA GO!!
Ashley…thanks for doing Chris, Langley, British Columbia and Canada so very very proud!!