Author: Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

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Be The Best.

Thanksgiving – Canadian Style eh.

The Turkey Is Done
Image via Wikipedia

I took a look at my Thanksgiving post from last year.

I still feel the same.

The pain of loss in year two does not subside.  Maybe the edges dull for moments or parts of moments, but the reality of a void that will never fill is just that, a reality.

That being said we make choices everyday.

One is to be thankful for what we had as opposed to being bitter for what we don’t have.

Don’t misunderstand, it is impossible as parents (and those of you as friends, cousins, classmates, lacrosse buddies of Chris) to not think of what it would be like with Chris still here.  If he had played at SFU or a Canadian University, this weekend would be the first reconnecting point after his Freshman term start.  If he was in the US, we may be traveling with Max for a quick family reunion.  Who knows.

What I’ve learned over time is that you must let your mind go there, but it can’t stay there.  If you stay with the ‘what ifs’, it will paralyze you.

Instead we will concentrate on what we had and for those 17 most amazing years we are so thankful.  We are also so amazingly grateful at seeing how Chris’ life continues to inspire people (including us!) to Be The Best.  An amazing gift and legacy that will forever be a part of so many of us.

I’d write a new list, but I’m still pretty happy about last years, so here is that post.

Have a great time with your families and friends this weekend.

—————–

Just a quick note to wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

People have asked me what we’re doing, how we are ‘celebrating’ etc.

It would be easy to think that there is not much to be thankful for this year, but strangely enough I feel mostly the opposite.

Please don’t misunderstand.  If we could, we would have Chris back in a millisecond.  That is a given.  That will not change.  Our love for Chris only grows day by day and we miss him so terribly much.

That being said, we know he physically can no longer be with us so we must choose to continue our journey on earth with Chris with us in spirit…and that’s what we’re doing.

So with that as the consistent backdrop, do we have things to be thankful for?

Yes.  Here’s 5 of them.

  1. Family – My wife and son Max are amazing to me.  I couldn’t be more proud. (extended family too!!)
  2. Friends – Continue to be friends in the deepest sense of the word.
  3. Work Colleagues – Quietly supportive by allowing work to be a place of alternate focus.
  4. Sports – Love watching competition. Love competing.
  5. Coffee – It’s those small things in life that can be so great…especially when you’re sharing.

Thankful?

Yes.

And although not on an official list, I am so incredibly thankful for every event, photo, moment, laugh, discussion, drive, walk, ping-pong game or meal we had with Chris.  So incredibly thankful.

Chris…know that we love you so very much and we LOVED every moment we had with you.

For that we are thankful, not just this weekend, but forever.

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Be The Best.

Flying high.

As we approach Thanksgiving, there is much to be thankful for.

That being said, we will forever miss those not around our tables.

I just love this picture.

Ethan enjoying his early September ice cream cone and sincerely missing his cousin and just saying hi to him.

I know Chris catches those balloons…or at least reads them.

Maybe he just bodychecks them into the clouds as a lacrosse salute!

Nuff said.

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Be The Best.

Lions, Eskimos and Fathers…V2

I wrote a post in June 2010 after Max took me to the opening of Empire Field for a BC Lions football game vs the Edmonton Eskimos.  Here’s a link to that story.

Fast forward 16 months and we did it again.

Not Empire, but we went to the opening of the new BC Place on Friday with 50,000 of our closest friends and saw those same BC Lions beat the Eskimos in a great match at a fantastic new facility.

New building aside, the best aspect of the evening was another experience shared and added to the memory banks for life.

Those are gold and worth every cent of admission…and then some.  (just don’t tell the Lions that…I don’t want them to raise their ticket prices)

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Be The Best.

Who is Ron Venne? (hint: BCIT and Canucks)

When I was a BCIT student back in the late 1980’s I had an instructor who inspired me.

He loved market research and that was what had drawn me back to post secondary as a ‘mature’ (insert your own joke here) student.

He had connections.  We worked with Canadian Holidays interviewing customers coming back from vacation in Cancun.  Yes, along with 2 other students, we flew down to Cancun, left the plane because of custom issues, stayed at the airport for 2 hours and then reboarded the plane and interviewed returning vacationers who had just spent one or two weeks in the sun.  People thought we were crazy, but I loved it.  The pilot announced that BCIT students were heading down the aisles passing out surveys and I just thought the whole thing was cool.

Months later I was privileged enough to be in the Boardroom of Whistler/Blackcomb presenting another research report that we had conducted as students…actually interviewing people on the ski hill while going up the chairlift or at the restaurant.

Ron also had connections with the Canucks and although that didn’t occur during my stint as a student, BCIT was very connected with the organization.

Ron evenutally left BCIT and has sadly passed away a numbers of years back, but I will NEVER forget him or his influence on me.

Fast forward to last night, Oct 1, 2011.

We’ve been rekindling the relationship with the Canucks and I was very excited to have a group of students and staff working the concourse levels of Roger’s arena, creating hockey cards for kids and connecting with our alumni.

What made it even more cool was Max was one of the student volunteers as he is now in BCIT’s Broadcasting program.

In talking to our students helping out last night, it was obvious that the connection with the Canucks was a big deal and that kind of linkage between BCIT and the Canucks brand is pretty unique.

For me I loved the fact that we are connected again.  I thought of Ron Venne and the influence one person can have.  I thought of Chris and his continuing impact.  I not only thought of Max, but saw him in action and thought about how privileged I am to be able to experience that.

Thanks Ron….you are never forgotten.  Be The Best!

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Be The Best.

Air Show v2

A couple of days back I posted a blog about the Abbotsford Airshow.  It was awesome…the airshow that is…ok, the blog was awesome too. (cough)

We had the privilege of being with friends on a lake near Merritt, BC earlier this week and it was an airshow of  a different kind.

Instead of screaming jets and diving planes, we had ospreys and eagles and cloud formations that seem to go on forever.

The loud intensity of the airshow with planes and jets, the quiet beauty of a silent airshow by the lake.

Both beautiful in their own right and both provided me with more opportunity to stare into the sky and feel connected.  I think you know what I mean.

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Be The Best.

Up in the air.

Abbotsford International Airshow 2009!
Image by Rick Leche via Flickr

I can’t look into the sky without thinking about Chris.

Whether it’s the moon and stars at night or an intense cloud formation or even occasional blue sky during the day!

Max and I had another reason to gaze heavenwards on Friday as we were guests of friends and business clients Mainland Machinery at the Abbotsford International Airshow.

It had been probably 10 years since we were last there and it was awesome to be back.

From the static displays to the roar of the jets, we had a great time.

You can’t go to that event without thinking and acknowledging all of our servicemen and women who have sacrificed so much for our freedoms.  We salute them all!!

And yes, as I watched the jets scream by and the parachutes float down, I thought about Chris with every look to the sky.

Here’s a little vid of the day.

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Be The Best.

Canada going for Bronze

There is a tough saying in sport…you win to get Bronze, you lose to get Silver.  Yah, I know, tough saying.

That being said, Canada’s U19 Women’s lacrosse team is fighting for the Bronze medal on Saturday in Germany vs. England.

Having beat England in a close game earlier in the tournament, it should be a great battle.

We wish Ashley and all the other team members a great game and win or lose, we’re all very proud!

13. August 45 (7/8 Place Game) 11:00 Japan Haudenosaunee
46 (5/6 Place Game) 9:00 Scotland Wales
47 (Bronze Medal Game) 12:30 England Canada
48 (Gold Medal Game) 15:30 USA Australia  
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Be The Best.

Maxing out a Sprint Triathlon

My personal lexicon was increased by a new phrase just a few weeks ago.

Sprint Triathlon.

I think that’s basically an oxymoron to start with.

Ok young readers.  This is probably the highest number of big words used in the opening of this blog ever…but in celebration of back to school just 4 weeks away, we’ll continue.

A sprint triathlon is a swim, bike and running race…except the distances are shorter than a full length event.

These are perfect events for those wanting a triathlon experience and are trying something new or simply want a shorter distance.

Don’t be fooled.  This is still an extreme sport!  750m in the pool.  That is a lot of lengths.  18k on the bike.  I get tired driving that far and usually would require 2 Starbucks stops.  5k running after all that? Yah right.

So…my son Max had a goal.  He was going to do this thing.  The Walnut Grove Triathlon.

Cool.  Except he didn’t really have a bike, didn’t have any specific training and didn’t know a soul who was going in this event.

I’m super proud of the kid.  He approached this like he was trying something new and what he didn’t know wasn’t going to stop him from trying. For example, he knew he didn’t have all the specialized gear but that didn’t get in his way.  He finished in 90 minutes exactly and was right in the middle of the pack.  That is an incredible result for trying an event for the first time without coaching or training with a team or the superior clothing and equipment of most racers.

It’s really Be The Best principle personified.

What I mean by that is Be The Best is about so much more than winning.  It’s about competing.  It’s about trying something new.  It’s about not letting the fear of the unknown get in your way.

IT’S ABOUT NOT KNOWING EXACTLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO REACH A GOAL, BUT SETTING THE GOAL AND THEN STARTING FORWARD ANYWAYS!

Nice job Max.  We are very proud of ya!!

Here’s a little video proof.  Note: (Time clock on picture is not official for each racer because of a graduated start in the pool for the swim portion of the race. Max’s official time was 1:30:00 on the nose)

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Be The Best.

Germany, #2, Lacrosse and why you need to know.

Flag of British Columbia
Image via Wikipedia

The #2 is being proudly worn on a field lacrosse pitch in Germany this week and next.

Better yet, it’s representing Canada.

Even better yet, it’s a shout out to Chris on the back of Ashley Bull who at the age of 16 made the U19 National Field Lacrosse team for Canada.  She is the only player from British Columbia and very close to the youngest on the squad.

Her Grandfather, the legendary lacrosse figure Harvey Bull, told me the story of her getting #2 this past weekend at the boys Intermediate Box Lacrosse Provincial championships.

Team Canada players were assigned numbers, but before they went to Germany to represent our country, they were allowed to select the jersey numbers to wear.  Ashley has not traditionally chosen #2, but wanted to do it for Chris.  What that means to me and our family I cannot properly express.  As the story went, another girl also wanted #2.  Ashley told her the story of Chris and what he meant as an inspiration to her and her teammate kindly, graciously and wonderfully allowed Ashley to wear #2.

Is that Be The Best or WHAT???

You can read more of Ashley’s story here from a previous blog.

I understand from Ashley’s family that the flu is going through the team and knocked her out of at least the first game of the tournie.  Some things are in your control and some aren’t.  As the team heads into the second week of competition, we wish Ashley and all of our fellow Canadians the best of luck as they represent for Canada.

Although there is no TV or webfeed, you can connect on-line with scoring and the most up-to-date info is via Twitter.

I will be thinking of that #2 flying around the field and I know that the same ‘cloud box seats’ Chris had for the boys Provincial final will again be used by Chris and friends cheering on Team Canada in Germany.

GO CANADA GO!!

Ashley…thanks for doing Chris, Langley, British Columbia and Canada so very very proud!!

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Christian Friesen

From Be The Worst, to Be The Best!

Chris’ buds were battling it out on the lacrosse floor this weekend.

Of course they were!  The first weekend of real summer weather and all the lacrosse guys are inside in a sweaty arena.  As soon as the rain starts to fall, they’ll be back outside for field lacrosse.  And that’s how it goes!

Langley has battled to become a member of the lacrosse elite and this weekend having their Intermediate A (ages 17-18) team challenging for a provincial medal was a very good thing.

Fast forward.  After an excellent tournament, the Thunder are in the Bronze medal game.  They lose, they get nothing.  Near the beginning of the game the Richmond team calls for an equipment check on one of Langley’s top players, James Rahe.  They toss him out of the game for illegal equipment.  Guess what was illegal?  He was wearing one of Chris’ memorial wristbands!!

I simply couldn’t write this blog yesterday.

The words would have been much sharper.

At this point I’m not going to spend too much time on the decision, who made it and what their motivation was.   That call took a star player off the floor and ruined his chance to play in this Provincial bronze medal final.

That’s a Be The Worst moment.

Now…this story has a Be The Best moment too.

Langley was down by a goal with 30 seconds to go in the game.

A certain Mr. Danny Spady, a defensive specialist and one year younger than Chris, had the ball.  Chris loved playing with Danny.  He is a tenacious, aggressive, hard-working, never-quit kid….and he doesn’t score that much!  As was relayed to me he drove down the floor with the passion and aggression that only comes from playing for a cause.

Yes…the decision by the opposing coaching staff and the officials gave the boys just the extra cause they needed yesterday.

You take a guy off the floor for wearing Chris’ wristband…look out…the motivation just got cranked.

Danny’s goal pushed the game into overtime and Brett Dobray displayed his amazing hands and touch with I believe both goals which pushed Langley into the overtime lead (2-1) and sealed the deal for the Bronze Medal.

What a story.

Now…for the boys on Richmond, it was obviously not their call.  That responsibility lies directly with their coach and the officials and for the love of the game, I hope that kind of decision making is reviewed by the league.  For the boys themselves, Richmond had a great season and I wish them all the best with their next steps in lacrosse and life.

In life we know we can’t change what happened.  But what do we know? WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR NEXT DECISION!!  We can be in charge of our next shift.  Our next shot.  Our next thought process.

As I texted one of Langley’s players when I heard this news, I’m sure Chris had a few things to say about the incident yesterday from his ‘season ticket cloud seats’ and I know that he is with you all….always!!

Great job Langley.

Way to turn a negative into an amazing BE THE BEST moment.