Author: Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

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Be The Best.

Gov’t workers and grief.

First a quick follow up to last night.  A couple hours after taking the sun setting shots, I looked out the window and saw this sliver of a moon with it’s lit edge.  This pic doesn’t do justice, but wanted to show you.  I looked again 15 minutes later and it was gone behind the clouds.  Tonight’s late evening sunset was equally spectacular again reminding me of the fact that the sun does exist behind the dark clouds.

Late this afternoon we had a rare hour to run errands during office hours in our town…(we’re usually still at BCIT or commuting during that time).  Things like passports, id, licenses all have to be returned or accounted for.  It’s not that fun.

We hear a lot about government workers, line-ups and grumpy people.  I have to say the people I dealt with today were wonderful.  Empowered front line workers who were empathetic, caring and efficient.  Yes, there were the forms, signatures and questions.  But they were handled in a very professional but caring manner.  I don’t know their names, but I’ll throw out a blanket THANK YOU to every front line employee from any government, school, or agency that goes the quick extra mile to connect with the people they’re dealing with as people and not just a number.

This process is difficult of course because it speaks so deeply to the truth of what is happening.  Chris is gone and won’t be back on this earth.  Of course we know that, but when you are surrendering documents there is a yet another piece placed in the finality puzzle.

Tonight we again tell ourselves that we know the sun is behind the clouds and the sun is certainly shining through.  Just look at the picture. (photo taken approx 6:30pm tonight)

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Be The Best.

Taking it to the Max.

Max, our oldest son, turned 19 today.  What?  How could that happen?  Already?

Yup.

Ethanator looks on as Max gets ready for 19 candles.

We had brunch with great friends, afternoon coffee with family and a ‘new normal’ dinner at the Keg tonight with the three of us.  Max and his gang are now ‘chillin’.

Max has been an unbelievable part of our family team during the past 2.5 months.  He helped me incredibly when we decided to build the official Facebook page for Chris.  He offered wonderful support to people at the funeral and in those intense weeks.  Max…you rock Dude.

As a Lifeguard and Swim Instructor he is helping change lives already.  He’s learning how to empower youngsters to believe in themselves, have confidence and do things they didn’t think they could do.

Max, as you head into your next years of long-term career exploration and studying, know that your Mom and I couldn’t be prouder of you.  Happy Birthday Dude.

And the sunset pic?  Well that was just a little silver lining hello from your Brother.

Sunset, June 13, 2010.

Work hard, be safe, have fun.

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Be The Best.

Golf and Being The Best.

I retired from golf this year and got a bike.

Problem: good friends (Ark, Gourd, and Bwaad – names changed to protect their livelihoods) insisted that a little weekend away to Osoyoos would be a good thing.

That was last weekend…and it was a good thing, except for the golf.

I thought of Be The Best many times as I lined up a triple bogey chip to get on the green.

Take a look at this picture.  This is me on the golf course.  One problem.  Do you see a fairway?  Do you see the green?  Do you even see the golf course?  No.  You see a huge bunch of grapes growing with my ball somewhere embedded in them.  I pity the fool who buys a nice bottle of wine only to pour a golf ball into their glass.

Sometimes Be The Best, may indeed be the understanding that a change of direction is a good decision!

That being said, I wouldn’t have changed the weekend at all.  It was a great one and another way of slowly building to the new normal.  These guys have stood with us throughout our journey and along with all of you form our army of support as we march forward.

Here’s a hint about tomorrow:  A certain kid named Max is turning 19…I was never much of a subtle foreshadower….

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Be The Best.

Borscht and Berries

I usually make a shake for breakfast at least 3-4 times per week.  Chris loved them as well.  He wrote the recipe down last year and called them ‘Randy’s Jacked Shakes’….of course he did!  (recipe: 1-2 frozen bananas, 1 cup strawberries (frozen or fresh), 1-2 cups orange juice, 1 cup yogurt, 1 scoop protein powder (you can get at Costco), all measurements are adjusted to taste and consistency)

Anyways, as I was making the shakes one morning this week I realized what I was making them with.  Remember all that food at the funeral?  Well, through the assistance of amazing friends and family about 3 big bags of strawberries were sliced and frozen.  That’s what we were having for breakfast this week.  I thought again of all the generosity and amazing support.

Tonight I was busy downstairs and Ingrid came down about 6pm and said a relative (name protected!) had dropped off some hot borscht.  If you’ve never had borscht, you better get friendly with some Mennonites  (Toews, Friesen, Harder, Thiessen, Funk, Klassen etc etc) and have a bowl.  It is a vegetable based soup that absolutely hit the spot tonight.  Not only with the food aspect but another humble reminder of how many people have cared and are continuing to care for us.

We get through each day and are looking to the future, but any moment and many moments we have thoughts of our amazing, loving, wonderful son Chris who we will all see again one day.

Until then, we’ll have a shake, eat some borscht and keep helping each other one decision at a time.

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Be The Best.

AC and Friends in Concert – June 26

If  you are ready to hear ‘Love Shines’ in concert with some amazing musicians, mark Saturday, June 26th on your calendar.  Tickets are $15 at the door.  Full details on AC’s website.

What you won’t hear from Cathy unless you pull it out of her is that Gemma (Cathy and Karin Dart) won the award for CLASSICAL/TRADITIONAL SONG OF THE YEAR at the 2009 GMA’s. That is the Gospel Music Association of Canada.  Their music is different.  Their music is cool.  They touch lives.  If you’ve never heard a harp live before, you have to come and hear Karin.  It is really cool.  Yah..that’s right.  Harps are cool.  (you can find people playing Iron Maiden on the harp on youtube…Karin won’t be)

I put together a little video for the CMA’s last October.  If you haven’t seen it, now’s your chance.  That last bit about singing in the shower was a required question from the organizers…don’t blame me… 😉

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Be The Best.

The Stanley Cup and Being The Best.

Wow.  It’s over.  The Stanley Cup for 2010 has been won by the Blackhawks.

Now this is not a sports blog per se, so I won’t mention how much I despise the Hawks for beating our beloved Canucks earlier this year…or maybe I will.  Better yet maybe I’ll make a video…oh yah, did that too.  If you haven’t seen it, here’s a minute and 15 seconds of time that you’ll never get back…

Fun aside, the Hawks Chairman and owner, Rocky Wirtz, was interviewed after tonight’s game.  I’m paraphrasing slightly…but the question was, how did you know you were going to win? how could you have set  your expectations so high?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE his answer.  Mr. Wirtz said, I can tell you this much…if we had set the bar lower, we would have achieved it.

Let that sink in.

If we set the bar low…if we aim low…if our goals are low…we’ll probably achieve low.

If we aim high and don’t achieve the ‘prize’, I guarantee you that we’ll achieve more that we ever thought we could.

Be The Best.  What a great example.

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Be The Best.

Longboarding and Be The Best.

I was first introduced to longboarding (like skateboards, but longer!) a couple of years back by Vincent, an exchange student we had stay with us while Max was staying in Quebec at Vincent’s home.

I met a longboarder skating on the back roads of BCIT a few months later and we got to know each other.

I’ve written before about taking calculated risks and to make a long story short, that chance meeting with Patrick Switzer turned into a sponsorship relationship…the first of it’s kind in Canada and probably anywhere in the world between a longboarder and an educational institution.

Patrick flies down hills in races at 70, 80, and 90+ km/h.  It’s crazy stuff.  You can check him out all over youtube.  This article is a great place for more info.

The reason I’m bringing this up today, is I met Patrick this afternoon before he left for the States, then Europe, then Australia and maybe even South Africa over the next 6 months.  He is in the top 3 of the world rankings in longboarding….impressive.

He told me today of how he has set goals, worked hard and never stopped believing he could succeed in his sport and be successful at something he was passionate about.  I love that.  That is Be The Best!  I told him he could win a few races for Chris this year…and I’m not doubting for a minute that he will make that happen.

Go get em Patrick…and thanks for showing us how to live our dreams.

Dreams+Goals+Work+Work+Work=Success.

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Be The Best.

Hit it hard and coast.

I mentioned that I would bring forward a few life lessons that we had developed as a family over the years.

When I was a teenager I worked at a family supermarket.  There was an older gentleman there that had a saying that stuck with me forever.  A big load of groceries would come in off the truck and our job was to get the load into the store and on the shelves.  Every Tuesday and Thursday he would say the same thing to us.  “Ok boys, tonight we are going to HIT IT HARD AND COAST”.

Hit it hard and coast. Work hard, unload the groceries, shorten your breaks and then have a bigger break when the job was done.  Simple.  I love that saying.  I used it with the boys (Max and Chris) all the time.

Our society is built around COASTING first and then WORKING later.  ie…paying on credit and then having to pay the bill later…eating a big greasy meal and then working out later etc.

The principle of ‘hit it hard and coast’ is just the opposite.  Work first. Relax second.

Simple advice that Max and Chris both took to heart….usually!

Hit it hard and coast.

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Be The Best.

Plain and simple.

There is no love like a parent’s love.

Our love for Chris continues every second of every day.

Sometimes we cannot express that as deeply as we feel, but it is there with every heartbeat.

We miss you so much Chris…and when I say ‘we’ I feel you all continuing to stand with us.

One decision at a time…moving towards the new normal, but no one said it was going to be easy.

I know there are many of us who are still working through our feelings about grief and loss especially as they relate to Chris.  If you haven’t already, please find someone you can talk to.  That can be a friend, teacher, parent, coach, relative, etc. etc.

I know after those words saying ‘have a great week’ may sound trite…but I do believe that too.  Let’s have a great week and aim to Be The Best regardless of our pursuits.  For our high school students out there…study hard!

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

‘Bee’ patient

Be patient, be patient, don’t be in such a hurry, if you are inpatient, you’ll only start to worry…

Those are lyrics from a kid’s musical I sang 35 years ago in a church play.  Some things stay with you…that and I’m still in counseling for being dressed up as a Song Book…no really…I was living, singing book.

I’m not sure how it relates other than I have this bee pic from the other day and I’m really feeling impatient about showing it to you.  This was a bee getting ready to land on a California Lilac.   I had sort of overlooked the picture when I wrote the post the other day.  I find with pictures and many other things, it’s good to go back and review.  I can’t believe how many things you see again for the first time, when you have a little more patience.