Tag: New Normal

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Be The Best.

Gov’t workers and grief.

First a quick follow up to last night.  A couple hours after taking the sun setting shots, I looked out the window and saw this sliver of a moon with it’s lit edge.  This pic doesn’t do justice, but wanted to show you.  I looked again 15 minutes later and it was gone behind the clouds.  Tonight’s late evening sunset was equally spectacular again reminding me of the fact that the sun does exist behind the dark clouds.

Late this afternoon we had a rare hour to run errands during office hours in our town…(we’re usually still at BCIT or commuting during that time).  Things like passports, id, licenses all have to be returned or accounted for.  It’s not that fun.

We hear a lot about government workers, line-ups and grumpy people.  I have to say the people I dealt with today were wonderful.  Empowered front line workers who were empathetic, caring and efficient.  Yes, there were the forms, signatures and questions.  But they were handled in a very professional but caring manner.  I don’t know their names, but I’ll throw out a blanket THANK YOU to every front line employee from any government, school, or agency that goes the quick extra mile to connect with the people they’re dealing with as people and not just a number.

This process is difficult of course because it speaks so deeply to the truth of what is happening.  Chris is gone and won’t be back on this earth.  Of course we know that, but when you are surrendering documents there is a yet another piece placed in the finality puzzle.

Tonight we again tell ourselves that we know the sun is behind the clouds and the sun is certainly shining through.  Just look at the picture. (photo taken approx 6:30pm tonight)

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Be The Best.

Taking it to the Max.

Max, our oldest son, turned 19 today.  What?  How could that happen?  Already?

Yup.

Ethanator looks on as Max gets ready for 19 candles.

We had brunch with great friends, afternoon coffee with family and a ‘new normal’ dinner at the Keg tonight with the three of us.  Max and his gang are now ‘chillin’.

Max has been an unbelievable part of our family team during the past 2.5 months.  He helped me incredibly when we decided to build the official Facebook page for Chris.  He offered wonderful support to people at the funeral and in those intense weeks.  Max…you rock Dude.

As a Lifeguard and Swim Instructor he is helping change lives already.  He’s learning how to empower youngsters to believe in themselves, have confidence and do things they didn’t think they could do.

Max, as you head into your next years of long-term career exploration and studying, know that your Mom and I couldn’t be prouder of you.  Happy Birthday Dude.

And the sunset pic?  Well that was just a little silver lining hello from your Brother.

Sunset, June 13, 2010.

Work hard, be safe, have fun.

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Be The Best.

Borscht and Berries

I usually make a shake for breakfast at least 3-4 times per week.  Chris loved them as well.  He wrote the recipe down last year and called them ‘Randy’s Jacked Shakes’….of course he did!  (recipe: 1-2 frozen bananas, 1 cup strawberries (frozen or fresh), 1-2 cups orange juice, 1 cup yogurt, 1 scoop protein powder (you can get at Costco), all measurements are adjusted to taste and consistency)

Anyways, as I was making the shakes one morning this week I realized what I was making them with.  Remember all that food at the funeral?  Well, through the assistance of amazing friends and family about 3 big bags of strawberries were sliced and frozen.  That’s what we were having for breakfast this week.  I thought again of all the generosity and amazing support.

Tonight I was busy downstairs and Ingrid came down about 6pm and said a relative (name protected!) had dropped off some hot borscht.  If you’ve never had borscht, you better get friendly with some Mennonites  (Toews, Friesen, Harder, Thiessen, Funk, Klassen etc etc) and have a bowl.  It is a vegetable based soup that absolutely hit the spot tonight.  Not only with the food aspect but another humble reminder of how many people have cared and are continuing to care for us.

We get through each day and are looking to the future, but any moment and many moments we have thoughts of our amazing, loving, wonderful son Chris who we will all see again one day.

Until then, we’ll have a shake, eat some borscht and keep helping each other one decision at a time.

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Be The Best.

Hit it hard and coast.

I mentioned that I would bring forward a few life lessons that we had developed as a family over the years.

When I was a teenager I worked at a family supermarket.  There was an older gentleman there that had a saying that stuck with me forever.  A big load of groceries would come in off the truck and our job was to get the load into the store and on the shelves.  Every Tuesday and Thursday he would say the same thing to us.  “Ok boys, tonight we are going to HIT IT HARD AND COAST”.

Hit it hard and coast. Work hard, unload the groceries, shorten your breaks and then have a bigger break when the job was done.  Simple.  I love that saying.  I used it with the boys (Max and Chris) all the time.

Our society is built around COASTING first and then WORKING later.  ie…paying on credit and then having to pay the bill later…eating a big greasy meal and then working out later etc.

The principle of ‘hit it hard and coast’ is just the opposite.  Work first. Relax second.

Simple advice that Max and Chris both took to heart….usually!

Hit it hard and coast.

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Be The Best.

Plain and simple.

There is no love like a parent’s love.

Our love for Chris continues every second of every day.

Sometimes we cannot express that as deeply as we feel, but it is there with every heartbeat.

We miss you so much Chris…and when I say ‘we’ I feel you all continuing to stand with us.

One decision at a time…moving towards the new normal, but no one said it was going to be easy.

I know there are many of us who are still working through our feelings about grief and loss especially as they relate to Chris.  If you haven’t already, please find someone you can talk to.  That can be a friend, teacher, parent, coach, relative, etc. etc.

I know after those words saying ‘have a great week’ may sound trite…but I do believe that too.  Let’s have a great week and aim to Be The Best regardless of our pursuits.  For our high school students out there…study hard!

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Taize, singing bowls and AC at the Abbey.

You remember AC right? Ya, that’s Auntie Cathy to some and just ‘sis’ to me!

Those songs from Chris’ funeral were amazing and I love listening to Love Shines.  If you didn’t hear it, you can now, with all the cards we received as a backdrop. (video below)

Anyhoo…Cathy plays about once per year at the Westminster Abbey in Mission.  If you’ve never been to the Abbey, it’s worth a visit.  This ‘service’ is different than anything you’ve ever experienced.  The acoustics are unbelievable and the setting is amazing.  For full details on the what, where, when, how, check out her blog post. Brent, Cathy’s husband, recently returned from India on business and brought Cath a 100 year old ‘singing bowl’.  She’ll be using it that night.

For me personally, that service is very intense with the silence and music, but Ingrid and I have snuck in for a song or two along with a walk on the beautiful grounds.  If you want to do something completely different from the usual, the Abbey is the place to be this coming Saturday, May 29th from 8-9pm.

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Be The Best.

Facebook saved our lives?

This was a quick update note that we sent earlier today to everyone who had joined Chris’ memorial page on Facebook.  I wanted to share it with you here as well.

Ingrid, Max and I wanted to thank you all so much for the support over the past 2 months.  It has been incredible.

If you want to continue to be with us as we journey forward towards the ‘new normal’, you can follow the blog link at: christianfriesen.com (I’ve added an email subscription thing at the bottom right of the page to make it easier for you to know when the new posts go up)

The other HUGE news is that through the generosity of Harrow Sports and the Burnaby Mountain Selects program, a Chris Friesen memorial lacrosse shaft will be produced and orders are going to be received through next Sunday, May 30.  When I first saw the artwork, and even now, I get goose bumps as this is very cool!

Here’s the great part.  All net proceeds (beyond the manufacturing cost) are going to the Christian Friesen Memorial Award at SFU!  We’ve had people ask if you have to play lacrosse to own one.  Answer? Nope!  They are real pieces of art complete with Chris’ signature, ‘Be The Best’ and the lacrosse ‘silhouette’ on the end cap of the stick. To see the sticks and for order info check out: christianfriesen.com and click on the ‘stick order’ tab at the top of page.

We can’t believe it is almost 2 months since Chris’ passing.  Month two in many ways has been harder than month one as the continued reality of Chris not being with us physically sets in.  That being said, the spirit of Chris is here in a growingly significant way.  I see it through people’s (young and older) desire to Be The Best and through people working together on positive change…including push-ups!

We will continue to keep the Facebook group open for the months ahead and want it to be a place you are free to drop a note to us or to Chris as well…and yes, that’s a completely ‘legit’ thing to do.  One of my first blog posts was about how ‘Facebook saved our lives’.  Those notes of support meant more than you can ever imagine.  We sincerely thank you all for your support during these weeks, not only of us, but your support of each other.

Randy

(for Randy, Ingrid and Max)

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Be The Best.

San Diego: an epic short film

After the complete shut-out at Cannes, Sundance and an unfortunate snub by the Oscars for the epic short ‘Walking in Langley’ subtitled something about birds or something, I remain undeterred.  For your viewing pleasure I present, ‘San Diego: an epic short film’.

You can see the ‘new normal’ in action.  It’s a weird thing…that little walking segment that you’ll see was probably the most emotional part of the trip.  Just going for that morning walk with Ingrid got us talking, remembering and thinking about future experiences never to be experienced.  You combine that with synchronized coffee drinking (this was not planned and you’ll see it when you view) and you have this interesting recipe of tears, sadness, love, joy, pride, sorrow, jokes and laughter that forms our current reality.

I’m sure the Oscar people will get it this time round….  😉

PS In a future post I will tell you why I like to work with the Hilton brand whenever I can.  Thanks to the management of the San Diego Hilton who understood why we were there and did a great job in respecting what we needed.

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Be The Best.

Mother’s Day

September 2005, Max, Ingrid, Randy and Chris

I want to introduce you to an amazing mother.  Dealing with our two characters was 2 parts challenge and 100 parts love.  Ingrid taught our boys how to think for themselves.  She taught them to be independent.  She taught them how to respectfully make their voice heard while insisting on listening to others.  One of Chris’ friends, Clayton, used to say to Chris…”That Ingrid…amazing woman”.  Sort of funny from a 14 year old, but he had it right.  Amazing woman indeed.

A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all Moms out there including my own, Leona, and my Mom-in-law, Grace!

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Be The Best.

Kamloops and the ‘new normal’.

We went to a lacrosse tournament without Chris this weekend.  We couldn’t stay away.  The Alan Price Memorial Tournament is held each year in early May and Chris and the Langley Thunder have been a part of the event for at least 4 years as memory serves. The people in Kamloops are just fantastic.  (thank you Boomers for opening your home to us!!)

Chris takes on Larson Hill en route to Loops 2009.

This tournament was always a favourite. In fact last year at this same tournie, it was a father/son trip with Chris at the wheel just weeks after getting his ‘L’. What was I thinking? I figured out what those handles are for that passengers can hold onto.  I snapped a quick pic with my blackberry for this white knuckle, hands position 10 and 2, full concentration shot you see here. All in all he did a great job and it was a great experience.  You can see some 2009 action below (Chris is #2) including Riley, the Langley goalie swallowing a tough Kamloops player after a mega hit.  To make things more interesting I met the brother and mom of that Kamloops player (Justice) last night.  I think his younger brother was quite impressed that he had a brother starring on Youtube!

Rhys and James again make me look small!

Check it out.  More on the Loops and the amazing people up here in Sunday’s post.

It is good to be here.  It is good to be with amazing people who have stood with us. It is good to see those Langley players wearing that patch (amazing). It is great to talk to so many and continue to feel the support.

As hard as this is, it’s good too.  Very good.  This is all part of the ‘new normal’.