Tag: grief

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Be The Best. Christian Friesen

Hamming it up.

Before we had Thanksgiving dinner, my young nephew Ethan came over and whispered to me that he would like to say a few jokes before I said grace.

He’s too young to know, but his timing was perfect.  Not the timing of his jokes mind you…a career in stand-up may be a little ways away, but I knew what I wanted to say before we started dinner and Ethan’s jokes were a perfect counterbalance to how I was feeling at that moment.

After the comedy act, I stated as best as I could to the 15 of us around the table that it is not unusual for families to have set an extra place for a lost loved one.  We didn’t do that and the answer why is very simple.

Chris remains with each of us at all times wherever we are…together or separated.

Max helped me out and said grace and for his continued strength I am proud and grateful.

Now, that smoked ham was awesome and a lot of fun.

Here’s a few pics.

Maple Glazed Ham ready for the smoker...shameless product placement...!
Stick a fork in it! The finished product after 2 hours of smoke and 5 hours of heat. Unreal.

 

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Be The Best.

Happy Thanksgiving?

Just a quick note to wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

People have asked me what we’re doing, how we are ‘celebrating’ etc.

It would be easy to think that there is not much to be thankful for this year, but strangely enough I feel mostly the opposite.

Please don’t misunderstand.  If we could, we would have Chris back in a millisecond.  That is a given.  That will not change.  Our love for Chris only grows day by day and we miss him so terribly much.

That being said, we know he physically can no longer be with us so we must choose to continue our journey on earth with Chris with us in spirit…and that’s what we’re doing.

So with that as the consistent backdrop, do we have things to be thankful for?

Yes.  Here’s 5 of them.

  1. Family – My wife and son Max are amazing to me.  I couldn’t be more proud. (extended family too!!)
  2. Friends – Continue to be friends in the deepest sense of the word.
  3. Work Colleagues – Quietly supportive by allowing work to be a place of alternate focus.
  4. Sports – Love watching competition. Love competing.
  5. Coffee – It’s those small things in life that can be so great…especially when you’re sharing.

 

Thankful?

Yes.

And although not on an official list, I am so incredibly thankful for every event, photo, moment, laugh, discussion, drive, walk, ping-pong game or meal we had with Chris.  So incredibly thankful.

Chris…know that we love you so very much and we LOVED every moment we had with you.

For that we are thankful, not just this weekend, but forever.

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Be The Best.

Good Grief…6 months later

One of the more read blog posts over time has been the ‘good grief’ one featuring Charlie Brown and Charles Dickens.  Of course…a perfect match!

If you haven’t read that blog post or want a refresher, here’s the link.

What’s good about grief?

On one hand, not much…not much at all.

On the other hand, grief can only be caused when there has been a love so deep that it evokes such deep emotion.  That’s pretty powerful.

I saw/heard a Be The Best story today that you’ve just gotta hear.

There was a very sad story from last summer where a family lost their 19-year-old son in a drowning accident at Harrison Hot Springs.  The family had put up a memorial cross at the site, but the Harrison community removed it, fearing vandalism or theft.  They encouraged the family to buy a $2000 commemorative bench so their tribute for their son could be permanent.

When that story first aired, the conclusion was that the family simply could not afford that expense.

Fast forward a number of months to today.  A young woman viewing that story was struck by the family’s situation and was so moved she mobilized what she felt and fundraised the $2000!

In today’s Newshour story, she delivered the cheque to the still grieving family.

They were grateful, ecstatic and emotional as they could now pay tribute to their son in the way they needed to in order to have a permanent recognition.

I thought that young woman was quite incredible.  Without knowing the family, she put her thoughts into action and made what will be a life changing gift for this family.

Is grief good?

Not really.  But the things that come out of these situations can be incredible.

As human beings we have the most amazing power to influence and change lives.

Be The Best!

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Be The Best.

The best time to plant a tree is…

You may have heard the proverb/truism, ‘the best time to plant a tree was yesterday, the second best time to plant a tree is today’.  Probably the best time would have been 20 years ago, but the point remains.

I like this saying.

Why?

One of the things that I’ve done since Chris passed away was get more serious on a consistent level  about doing push-ups every day.  (I know there are a number of people that have taken up this same challenge.  Fantastic!)

Slowly, I’ve worked up to 50 per day still way off Chris’ 200, but that’s ok…I’m the ‘old man’!  There’s been a few days where because of schedule or whatever, I haven’t got those push-ups done.  You know what’s easy?  Making that first ‘miss day’ a second and the second a third.

That’s when the tree quote thing becomes very important.

The best time to do push-ups was yesterday.

The second best time is today…like right now.

Be The Best.

I love this business quote by the owners of Kin’s Farm Market, one of my business clients.  They said, ‘our business is simple, but not easy’.  Love it.  Many things are relatively simple.  Do some push-ups every day…relatively simple.  But not so easy in practice.

Change itself isn’t that easy, but the small steps along the way are relatively simple.

Interesting.  I continue to learn along this journey and Chris himself was an amazing example of a kid who heard from coaches and college players that a good diet was key to success and so he made small, simple decisions to eliminate fast foods, pop and junk food from his diet, one day, two days, three weeks, four months and then years.

He told me that his ‘trick’ was asking himself every time he looked at a food that was tempting and asking himself if it would be worth the work to burn that off or would it be easier just to avoid it in the first place.  Pretty amazing will power for a young man.

Simple…not easy.

Better to plant yesterday, but yesterday is gone so let’s deal with today.

These simple thoughts have put me down on the ground many times in the past 6 months, pounding out a few more push-ups when I didn’t really ‘have the time’ or some other excuse.

Chris…I will continue to use your passion to inspire me…and I know you continue to inspire many.

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Be The Best.

I do…55 years later.

We used this pic at the 50th...now 55 years ago today!!

It has been documented a number of times in this blog about how much Chris loved his Grandma and Grandpa (and of course Grandma Medema as well!!)

When Grandma and Grandpa Friesen (my Mom and Dad) had their 50th Wedding Anniversary 5 years ago this summer it was a great time.  Chris was 12 and didn’t want to have anything to do with the public speaking part of the event.  I remember talking with him and telling him he was going to be the logistics man in the church gym and hit the lights on and off when needed etc.  He took his responsibility very seriously and it was a great honour for his Grandma and Grandpa.

Today, September 29, 2010, marks exactly 55 years of marriage for Mom and Dad!

They were going to celebrate with a trip to Vancouver Island, biking some of the Galloping Goose trail and taking in the ocean.  Instead they got a hospital room, a couple of unexpected surgeries and some chemo treatment thrown in for good measure!  (yes, don’t worry…we talk quite openly about this stuff)

I’m sure they have their down times, but they are a brilliant example to me, my sisters, our spouses, entire extended family and beyond about how to be gracious and even thankful during a time of radical life change for them.

Mom and Dad, you continue to provide us with a fantastic example of what true love is all about and we honour you both for that.

Dad told me that he now looks forward to breakfast like never before since leaving the hospital.  I told him he should marry the cook.  He did…a short 55 years go.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

From all of us…and yes, that includes someone special looking down on you tonight too.

Randy, Ingrid, Mom, Dad, Max, Bri and Chris during a ski day a couple of years back.
Mom and Dad at 50th.
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Be The Best.

It’s dark, but love shines.

The days of Spring and Summer are now behind us.

For those of us who live in the Vancouver area of the Great White North, we experience those breathtaking summer nights with sunlight reaching to 9:45pm and beyond.

As the days grow shorter and wetter, many of those sunsets that were so powerful to me are now packaged up and waiting to surprise again next Spring.  It had been over a month since I last listened to Love Shines, that powerful and moving song that AC (Auntie Cathy) sang at Chris’ service.

I just listened now and as I did I looked out the window at the total pitch blackness.  The words are Love Shines and Darkness Flees.  Only thing was, it’s still dark outside.  The meaning of the song became even more powerful to me tonight.

Of course.  We can’t escape the physical darkness.  So too in our journey, there will continue to be dark times.  We cannot escape those.  BUT love is shining through that darkness and allowing our lives to continue to be pulsated with light through the love of family, friends, colleagues, lacrosse connections etc etc.  I think our own actions and choices to be involved in changing lives through Chris’ fund and other opportunities (giving is in grieving), also helps to chase the virtual darkness.

This weekend, AC gave me an update on her upcoming album.  She’s going out on a limb.  As an artist, I think it’s the most difficult thing to do to put yourself out there not only as an artist, but also as a business person.  She is self funding her new album driven by the passion of Love Shines and other songs that will help bring hope to many.

You can get involved all the way from pre-ordering the CD to a larger investment that includes a House Concert at your place for friends and family!!  Cool.

What I love about this is the passion, goal setting and desire for change to help propel a dream.

If you haven’t listened in a while, have a listen now online (yes, that’s free!).

If you get excited about the project, check out AC’s website with all the details.

Love Shines and Darkness Flees.

Love it.

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Be The Best.

Grandma’s Quilt

You may remember those blogs about quilts.  You can connect here if you haven’t read them already.

Some amazing work by Kim, a part of my incredible marketing team at BCIT.  Amazing work on many levels and we love it.  Anyone who comes over wants to see the quilt.  I love seeing the lacrosse players pick out their numbers or friends and family recognize the jerseys and clothes that were Chris’ favourites.

I want to show you another quilt tonight.  (who knew this was going to become a quilting blog..!)

The Friesen side of the family had a few days together in the summer of ’09 and my Mom (Leona, Grandma) had an idea of making a quilt at that time.  The goal was for each family member to design a square.  It could be stitched or simply designed with coloured pens.  Each square was to represent something about that person.  Most family members completed their squares over the few days with the last few squares added in the weeks following.

What a cool idea.

What do you think Chris drew?  Yah, not that hard to guess…a couple of lacrosse sticks and a beautiful message to Grandma.  “I love you” in his own handwriting.

He loved his Grandma so much.

Each year he looked forward to her canned peaches and would eat a jar at a sitting if we didn’t catch him first!

What a testament to a Grandma’s love.  What a testament to Chris who wasn’t afraid to tell people he loved his Grandma and Grandpa…even as a 16 year old kid at the time.

What an idea to make this quilt.

I saw it completed just a few weeks ago and this video gives you a close up look at this priceless piece of art.

“I love you”.  Powerful.  We love you too Chris.  Always.

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Be The Best.

Terry Fox – Into the Wind

Last night, Steve Nash, an NBA MVP and proud British Columbian, brought the story of Terry Fox to an American TV audience in a show called, Into the Wind.

I missed the show, but will definitely be watching for another viewing.

It was all the talk on the sports talk-show on the radio as I battled traffic out of Burnaby today.

He ran a marathon every day.

Are you kidding me?

He ran a marathon every day…with one leg.

For 143 days, he ran that distance as an amputee.

Terry Fox was the epitome of determination.

Terry Fox was the epitome of passion.

Terry Fox epitomized Be The Best.

Jay Triano, the Toronto Raptors head coach and another proud BC boy, knew Terry Fox from Simon Fraser University.  He was quoted in Saturday’s Toronto Star.

“He talked about chasing his dream, a big, big dream,” said Triano. “He showed that you have to set your goals high and even if you don’t achieve them, you can still win.

“That’s with me every day.”

Don’t you love that?

He showed that you have to set your goals high and even if you don’t achieve them, you can still win.

Love it.

I spoke with a good friend who had just finished an Ironman race a few weeks back (3.8k swim, 180km bike, 42.2km run).  He completed in 17 hours.  Wow.  That’s a story by itself.  Absolutely amazing.

He told me how mental the process was.  It was sheer will and determination to put one foot in front of the other and keep going in the marathon after a grueling swim and an intense bike ride.

Incredible.

I can’t imagine how Terry Fox did it for 143 days.

Some people ask us how we do it.

One foot in front of the other one, one step at a time.

Terry showed us the way.

He showed us how to win.

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Be The Best.

Go ahead and smoke.

A friend of mine works for a company that produces smokers.  You know, those things that cook food and you add smoke to flavour the food along the way.

I knew as much about smoking food as I do about mechanics.  Those who know me well, understand that this means ‘tres petit’.

Anyhoo, my friend Mike wanted a few vids about smoking food, so I said sure.

Here’s what I didn’t expect.  How fun it was and how much it brought the guys together…(guys love standing around something that is cooking and smoking and half-burning with some sort of beverage in their hand)…it’s that old ancient fire thing that we guys love.

When the pork was ready, the pulled pork sandwiches and smoked corn on the cob was incredible.

A successful first smoke, but here’s what I love about the process.  How it unites friends and family and brought people together.

When I said grace, I asked God to be with Chris as well as he joined us in spirit for some amazing food, family and friendship.

That is something he always loved.

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Be The Best.

I met a kid.

My work at the BC Institute of Technology is fun in that I have the opportunity to connect with the next generation of world changers.

Our students tend to be focused on where they want to go and what they want to do.

I met a student yesterday by complete happenchance and just loved his story.

He was a first year student in the Marketing Pro Sales option and had worked for Future Shop for a few years post High School.

His sister had come to BCIT and she told him it was a lot of hard work but worth it in the end.  A very good explanation.

So what did this kid do?  Get scared about the impending work load?  Party hard cause there was going to be a lot of work in the future?  Run away?

I loved his response.  He told me that last January he purposely took a second job to crank his working hours to over 60 per week.  Not really for the money.  It was to PREPARE himself mentally and physically for the workload he knew was coming.

Why?  He knew the payoff would be worth it in the end.  From my years of experience, I’ll tell him one thing. Yup, it will.  It will be well worth it in the end.

I loved that interaction and that story.  It was a Be The Best moment from out of the blue.

I met another kid once who set goals and then worked hard to achieve them.  You’ve met him too, even though for some of you it may have only been through this blog.

Chris knew that goals in your brain or even written down were useless if they weren’t brought to life with hard work and then more hard work.

Be The Best.

Rock your Saturday.