Tag: one decision at a time

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Be The Best.

Tall Long Pour Americano with room.

Yep.  That’s my usual at ‘rhymes with Moonshucks’ coffee house.

If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend.  The long pour pulls more coffee out of the shot and provides that crema foam.  But enough about coffee…for now.

Last week, we took a nice long walk to one of the local coffee shops for this exact drink and my Better Half’s double tall latte.

In front of us in the line-up was a Dad pulling a big red plastic wagon with his two sons probably aged 4ish and 2ish waiting patiently.  Here’s how boys wait patiently.  A little pushing, a little poking, and a little talking (ok, grunting).

I watched them as Dad gathered the drinks and sat down, somehow managing to steer that wagon through the tables and chairs.  One of the boys slurped too quickly on his milk straw and sort jumped in surprise.  Dad laughed and soon they were all laughing and you could see this Dad drinking it all in…literally.  Coffee and time with his kids.

At first I felt a pang of sadness knowing that those times with Chris on this earth are complete.

But then an interesting thing happened.  I felt an amazing sense of happiness and privilege for each and every moment I had with my two sons as they grew up.  We had so many moments just like that Dad was having with his sons.  Goofy stuff.  Like the time I took an old half rotted wooden trampoline frame, cut out the bad parts and put the rest up in a tree as a tree fort.  Working around the yard together.  Trips, sports and just having a snack.

I am so very grateful.

That Dad didn’t know it…but he was having an experience that money can never buy.  His coffee may have had room too…room for a whole lot of memories that will last him a lifetime.

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Be The Best.

We remember.

Remembrance Day 2010

I remember several years back as young men, Max and Chris standing with us at the Cenotaph on a rainy, cold Nov 11.

We didn’t force them.  They actually encouraged us to go as a family.

We did.

It was a moving experience and one that we repeated.

Being with a large group of people.  Silent expectation.  Silent tribute.

What a great way to honour our Canadian fallen.

Quite by happenchance (or maybe not) I saw Chris’ old bulletin board last night as we were moving some boxes around.  The board was full of push pins and a boxing picture and one other item.  A poppy.  But not just any poppy.  This was Chris’ poppy from last year.  He was always keen to remember, as was (and is) Max.

Max had spied the poppy too, and proudly wore last night.  Being who I am I forced him to pose for a quick pic which you see here.

To all our fellow Canadians remembering their sons and daughters lost in service to our country, we pause today to say THANK YOU.

Your service to our country and the world is truly a Be The Best inspiration to us all.

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Be The Best.

Alexa and the power of love.

If you live in the Vancouver area you’ve heard the story of Alexa Middalaer, the 4 year old who died in May 2008 after being struck by a vehicle driven by a driver who had been drinking.  Alex and her aunt were feeding a horse at the side of the road. (source: Province Newspaper page A4, Tues, Nov 9, 2010)

This post is not about blame, courts or sentencing issues.

It’s about the parents of Alexa.

You may have seen Laurel, Alexa’s Mom, and Michael, Alexa’s Dad in the media over the past two years.  They have honoured their daughter by giving and creating.  If you haven’t been there before, check the family’s website.  It’s an amazing tribute and they have given others (like us) an example of how to be proactive.

I’ve wondered a few times how they could be so strong.

Their quotes in the Province today shows that incredible ‘polar balance’ of positive and negative emotion and energy that pumps through your body 24-7 after your lives change forever.

“‘In truth, I stand before you today an inherently broken and gutted soul.” – Alexa’s Dad Michael

“Now we are merely shells of what we were before.” – Alexa’s Mom Laurel

Powerful words from such strong people.

But wait.  Laurel also states, “God, do I miss her. But I live each day by choice. I have to.”

I read that sentence and almost dumped my bowl of corn flakes…(and almond milk).

We are living each day by choice too.

The Middelaers for their beautiful Alexa.

The Friesens for their amazing Chris.

And thousands more for their loved ones.

As we head towards Remembrance Day, we stand with all those Canadian families who have lost loved ones in the service of our amazing country or illness or tragedy.

And then we choose to live on in their memories using their passion to fuel us, one day at a time…one decision at a time.

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Be The Best.

Dancing Under the Gallows

This video is amazing.

AC sent it my way and I couldn’t stop watching it.

It features Alice, an amazing 106 year old survivor of the Holocaust.

The music is amazing.  The story is amazing.

Her words are incredibly powerful.

Do you hate?  No.  Hate only produces hate.

Alice, I learned a few things watch you.

I strongly urge you to invest the 12 minutes and watch this.

It will change you.

Click this link to get there.

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Be The Best.

Money buys happiness?

Sort of.

Maybe.

It may be how you spend the money you have.

I’ve thought a lot about happiness in the past 7 months.  What has made us happy in the past?  What do we most cherish now that Chris continues with us in spirit only?  How do we be happy now?  Is it realistic even?  (answer: yes…another blog or book on this one!)

The Province Paper had an interesting article today entitled, ‘Ten Ways to Buy Happiness’.

Really?

I expected a quick read, but found myself absorbed by the UBC Prof, Elizabeth Dunn’s comments.

Here are five ways money can buy happiness according to the Province article referring to Dunn’s paper.

1. Buy many small lovely things rather than one big one
4. Buy experiences, not things
5. Spend on others, not yourself
7. Delay, delay, delay consumption
8. Happiness is in the details
Many small, lovely things….like COFFEE!  Ingrid and I calculated a number of years ago how much we were spending at that place that makes coffee and rhymes with Moonshucks.  It was a lot.  Then we had another thought.  We devised a coffee budget that allotted for that expense and simply skipped a dinner or two out each month.  Done deal.  For us, the coffee time provided that 15-20 minute ‘quick connect’ with busy schedules and allowed us to maximize family time while still being connected.  It was always more that coffee…it was a connection.  I get this point…and love it as I’ve learned to love the long pour americano…with room.  Find a good barista, grab your spouse or friend and try one!
Buying experiences, not things.  Wow.  How much has this meant to us?  The world.  Literally.  I have my wife to thank for a few times where I would have been a bit more budget conscious, but the experiences we had as a family are so priceless I would have gladly paid 10x more.  (Don’t tell that to the zipline people, whale watching people, travel agents, flight centres, or hotel folks either!)
I remember one trip that we took to Victoria and decided to go whale watching.  I still can hear the sound of those great beasts breathing and pulsing through the water as we waited in quiet and intense anticipation on a still kodiak boat floating several hundred metres in front of an approaching pod.  Seeing the excitement and pure joy on Max and Chris’ faces will be something we will have forever.  Experiences…not stuff.  Totally get it.
Anyways, a great article and very interesting.  Can money buy happiness?
I think the Prof’s co-authored study title says it best I think. “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy, Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right”.
Interesting.
You can read more by following the link below.
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Be The Best.

Ping Pong…it’s a sport.

I take some razzing at work because I like to play Ping Pong.  Yah…capital letters.

It’s a sport.

Some call it an activity, pastime, club; but that is totally incorrect.

Last year I had the opportunity to play a police officer from Berlin during the Police and Fire Games held in Vancouver.  The Ping Pong tournament was held at BCIT.  You can see some footage below.  She kicked me…hard.

In any event, I love to play.

Chris loved Ping Pong too, but it was played slightly differently.  Sure, he would play with his Dad from time to time, but when his buddies came over, the real Pong started.  They took off their shirts and up to 6 of them would run around the table taking turns hitting the ball.  In short order, someone would miss.  The guy at the other end of the table who had taken the victorious shot was then given a chance to smash a ball as hard as he could into the other guy’s bare chest or back.

Ever been around 16 or 17 year old males?  This is actually pretty normal.

They would laugh, smash balls at each other, admire the welts they had made and do it again.

It’s called male bonding and I loved to see that gang have a great time…as long as their parents weren’t worried about where the welts were coming from!

In any event, my nephew Steve, when he was up in September surprised me with a birthday gift.  It was a sandpaper Ping Pong bat custom designed with a Be The Best logo and a CF2 on the other side.

How cool is that!

I’d play with it, but don’t want to take a chance of wrecking it, so I’ve settled for a little online Ping Pong as pictured below.

Remember…Ping Pong is a sport.

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Be The Best.

Elephant Boy.

November 2006.

A family get together.

The cousins doing their cousin thing…having fun and goofing around.

Chris had this knack of peeling a mandarin orange in such a way that it became an elephant trunk.

Try it if you dare.

That kid could make anyone laugh…and feel comfortable and safe and secure and loved.

He had a skill for that too.

Bri, Chris, Jess, Jonathan, Pera and Max ready for some ice cream.

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Be The Best.

Feeling quilty.

I’ve gone a week or two without a blog post about quilts.

That won’t do.

I found these pics today from August 2009.  We were having a Friesen family reunion and this was the time where my Mom had the idea to make a family quilt.  You can see that finished product here.

Anyways, I loved these pics of Chris making his square as well as a great shot of him and his cousins fooling around.

These times are so exceptionally treasured.

 

Chris checks out Bri's quilting square.

 

 

Johnathan, Chris, Bri, Pera, Max, Jessica - Summer '09

 

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Be The Best. Christian Friesen

Hamming it up.

Before we had Thanksgiving dinner, my young nephew Ethan came over and whispered to me that he would like to say a few jokes before I said grace.

He’s too young to know, but his timing was perfect.  Not the timing of his jokes mind you…a career in stand-up may be a little ways away, but I knew what I wanted to say before we started dinner and Ethan’s jokes were a perfect counterbalance to how I was feeling at that moment.

After the comedy act, I stated as best as I could to the 15 of us around the table that it is not unusual for families to have set an extra place for a lost loved one.  We didn’t do that and the answer why is very simple.

Chris remains with each of us at all times wherever we are…together or separated.

Max helped me out and said grace and for his continued strength I am proud and grateful.

Now, that smoked ham was awesome and a lot of fun.

Here’s a few pics.

Maple Glazed Ham ready for the smoker...shameless product placement...!
Stick a fork in it! The finished product after 2 hours of smoke and 5 hours of heat. Unreal.

 

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Be The Best.

Brothers

I remember when we had both Max and Chris as young dudes in piano lessons.

One night, they had a piano recital.  They were both scared.  It was sort of comical.  Here’s why.

Brothers are brothers.  That means always a punch or comment or wedgie or attempted wedgie or something.

That’s what brothers do.

Here’s what else brothers do.  They have each others’ backs.

During this piano recital, the fooling around was over for the night..or at least until the ‘stupid’ recital was over.  It was simply, I’m gonna support you and you’re gonna support me and we’ll get through this horrific event of playing this instrument in front of people we don’t know.

Love it.

Brothers.

Forever.

Chris goes for 'atomic wedgie'...yah, that's Max's head in there somewhere.

Chris and Max ham it up at Disneyland.