Month: October 2010

Categories
Be The Best.

Wee Trolls and We Day

I was struck by two very different articles in this morning’s newspapers.

The Province carried a story called, ‘Take back Facebook’ which highlighted an ugly reality of cyberspace.  That reality is that there are people out there (called trolls), who search for memorial sites and place inappropriate (at best) and confrontational messages.  Sad to say, we’ve seen those trolls on Chris’ site too including this past week.  We remove them and ban them and then move on.  You know why?  They are wee trolls (as in small and insignificant).  In other words, those actions only speak to the people conducting those actions and they are not indicative of the majority.

I wrote early on in this blog experience about how Facebook Saved our Lives.  We remember those days so clearly.  Ingrid would spend hours each day reading the messages of support and in those darkest of nights, they kept us going.  We still encourage anyone who wants to know about Chris and our family to read this blog and read the messages on his memorial site.  The whole story is there including the 2 part eulogy.

So from wee trolls we move to article number two featuring We Day.  This is very cool. This is an event happening in Vancouver today that is tied to Free the Children.  What I love about this is that it is youth inspiring youth.  It is everything that is positive about young people.  Vision, desire, passion, action.  Love it.

You can check out We Day and all it means via this link.

Technology provides opportunity.  As humans we can make that positive or negative.

We will continue to monitor the bad and deal with wee trolls, because we know that the power of good as exhibited through the We Day events is the REAL power of young people today.

Categories
Be The Best.

Steaming to Be The Best.

The Canucks honoured Stan Syml the other night at Roger’s Arena.

For those ‘well aged’ enough to remember, Stan ‘Steamer’ Syml epitomized the lunch bucket, hard working, never quit attitude of the Canucks in the early 80’s and led the Canucks on their improbable run to the Stanley Cup Finals in 1982.

I talked to Max and Chris about Stan Syml and my new favourite over the more recent years Trevor Linden.

I have the most priceless pictures of each of those players drawn by Max and Chris (Max drew Linden, Chris drew Syml) with their hockey cards inserted in the frame.  They gave them to me as Christmas or Birthday presents about 10 years ago and they are still proudly displayed in my office at BCIT.

The thing I loved about Smyl was that he just never quit.  It wasn’t about talent.  It wasn’t about speed.  It wasn’t about size.  It was about heart.

Love it.

As we enter another hockey season, I will never forget the conversations about hockey and sports and how we weaved that into conversations about life and working hard to achieve goals etc.

That’s Be The Best!

Categories
Be The Best. Christian Friesen

Hamming it up.

Before we had Thanksgiving dinner, my young nephew Ethan came over and whispered to me that he would like to say a few jokes before I said grace.

He’s too young to know, but his timing was perfect.  Not the timing of his jokes mind you…a career in stand-up may be a little ways away, but I knew what I wanted to say before we started dinner and Ethan’s jokes were a perfect counterbalance to how I was feeling at that moment.

After the comedy act, I stated as best as I could to the 15 of us around the table that it is not unusual for families to have set an extra place for a lost loved one.  We didn’t do that and the answer why is very simple.

Chris remains with each of us at all times wherever we are…together or separated.

Max helped me out and said grace and for his continued strength I am proud and grateful.

Now, that smoked ham was awesome and a lot of fun.

Here’s a few pics.

Maple Glazed Ham ready for the smoker...shameless product placement...!
Stick a fork in it! The finished product after 2 hours of smoke and 5 hours of heat. Unreal.

 

Categories
Be The Best.

Thanksgiving smoke.

What would a Thanksgiving dinner be like without a smoked ham?

I mean, a really smoked ham.

The video below was from a few weeks back when we had the pulled pork and smoked corn.

Today we’re trying a smoked ham and it should be fun.

These past few weeks have definitely been very deep in terms of thought processing and the grieving process (what that means I’m still not really sure).  I’ll just call it the journey.

With family over today it will be a good day with happy and sad memories and remembrances all day long.

That is what the new normal is all about.

Right now though…gotta go…It’s almost time to get the smoker going for tonight’s dinner.

Categories
Be The Best.

Happy Thanksgiving?

Just a quick note to wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.

People have asked me what we’re doing, how we are ‘celebrating’ etc.

It would be easy to think that there is not much to be thankful for this year, but strangely enough I feel mostly the opposite.

Please don’t misunderstand.  If we could, we would have Chris back in a millisecond.  That is a given.  That will not change.  Our love for Chris only grows day by day and we miss him so terribly much.

That being said, we know he physically can no longer be with us so we must choose to continue our journey on earth with Chris with us in spirit…and that’s what we’re doing.

So with that as the consistent backdrop, do we have things to be thankful for?

Yes.  Here’s 5 of them.

  1. Family – My wife and son Max are amazing to me.  I couldn’t be more proud. (extended family too!!)
  2. Friends – Continue to be friends in the deepest sense of the word.
  3. Work Colleagues – Quietly supportive by allowing work to be a place of alternate focus.
  4. Sports – Love watching competition. Love competing.
  5. Coffee – It’s those small things in life that can be so great…especially when you’re sharing.

 

Thankful?

Yes.

And although not on an official list, I am so incredibly thankful for every event, photo, moment, laugh, discussion, drive, walk, ping-pong game or meal we had with Chris.  So incredibly thankful.

Chris…know that we love you so very much and we LOVED every moment we had with you.

For that we are thankful, not just this weekend, but forever.

Categories
Be The Best.

Good Grief…6 months later

One of the more read blog posts over time has been the ‘good grief’ one featuring Charlie Brown and Charles Dickens.  Of course…a perfect match!

If you haven’t read that blog post or want a refresher, here’s the link.

What’s good about grief?

On one hand, not much…not much at all.

On the other hand, grief can only be caused when there has been a love so deep that it evokes such deep emotion.  That’s pretty powerful.

I saw/heard a Be The Best story today that you’ve just gotta hear.

There was a very sad story from last summer where a family lost their 19-year-old son in a drowning accident at Harrison Hot Springs.  The family had put up a memorial cross at the site, but the Harrison community removed it, fearing vandalism or theft.  They encouraged the family to buy a $2000 commemorative bench so their tribute for their son could be permanent.

When that story first aired, the conclusion was that the family simply could not afford that expense.

Fast forward a number of months to today.  A young woman viewing that story was struck by the family’s situation and was so moved she mobilized what she felt and fundraised the $2000!

In today’s Newshour story, she delivered the cheque to the still grieving family.

They were grateful, ecstatic and emotional as they could now pay tribute to their son in the way they needed to in order to have a permanent recognition.

I thought that young woman was quite incredible.  Without knowing the family, she put her thoughts into action and made what will be a life changing gift for this family.

Is grief good?

Not really.  But the things that come out of these situations can be incredible.

As human beings we have the most amazing power to influence and change lives.

Be The Best!

Categories
Be The Best.

Some things ain’t planned…including vacations.

It was the late Spring 2008.

Max blurted out that he was interested in going to Quebec on an exchange…just weeks away.  (nice planning Max…!)

One of the things I had to learn with teenagers, was more ‘go with the flow’ and a little less ‘stick to the plan’.

This was one of those moments and it turned out to be amazing.  Max had a fantastic summer in Quebec and we formed a strong bond with our exchange student Vincent, from Quebec, who lived with us.

When Max was back in August, we had given up on having a family vacation that year until Ingrid saw something online about Virgin America flying from Seattle to San Fran on some promo run.

We talked and then went for it.

On a whim, we got 4 tickets, flew to San Fran and then drove down the coast to Southern Cal for a week at a beachside hotel.

It was awesome.

We re-connected as a family with Max back after his summer adventure and we were able to enjoy one of those moments in time that will be with us forever.

I love these shots of the boys during that week.

As I look back, I will be forever grateful for my wife and sons and our ability to go for it and create these amazing memories.

Categories
Be The Best.

Dinner for 3?

I found this picture on my Blackberry this weekend.

It was taken from the stage at CLA, the church where Chris’ funeral was held.

I took the picture the day before the funeral as we were setting some things up and doing some logistical planning.

I wanted to show Ingrid and Max where I thought we could sit and how things might work for the service.

Looking at the picture now just over 6 months later, it really symbolizes the new normal in a significant way.

We sat in a row of 3…not 4.

That was my initial thought.

But take a another look.  Yes, there are only 3 chairs in our row,but look at all the other chairs behind us…and that was only one section.

That church was packed with 1500 people supporting our family.  That’s a HUGE part of the new normal.

As for Chris, he doesn’t need a physical seat anymore.  He’s with us in spirit…every step we take and every move we make.

Love ya kid.

Categories
Be The Best.

The best time to plant a tree is…

You may have heard the proverb/truism, ‘the best time to plant a tree was yesterday, the second best time to plant a tree is today’.  Probably the best time would have been 20 years ago, but the point remains.

I like this saying.

Why?

One of the things that I’ve done since Chris passed away was get more serious on a consistent level  about doing push-ups every day.  (I know there are a number of people that have taken up this same challenge.  Fantastic!)

Slowly, I’ve worked up to 50 per day still way off Chris’ 200, but that’s ok…I’m the ‘old man’!  There’s been a few days where because of schedule or whatever, I haven’t got those push-ups done.  You know what’s easy?  Making that first ‘miss day’ a second and the second a third.

That’s when the tree quote thing becomes very important.

The best time to do push-ups was yesterday.

The second best time is today…like right now.

Be The Best.

I love this business quote by the owners of Kin’s Farm Market, one of my business clients.  They said, ‘our business is simple, but not easy’.  Love it.  Many things are relatively simple.  Do some push-ups every day…relatively simple.  But not so easy in practice.

Change itself isn’t that easy, but the small steps along the way are relatively simple.

Interesting.  I continue to learn along this journey and Chris himself was an amazing example of a kid who heard from coaches and college players that a good diet was key to success and so he made small, simple decisions to eliminate fast foods, pop and junk food from his diet, one day, two days, three weeks, four months and then years.

He told me that his ‘trick’ was asking himself every time he looked at a food that was tempting and asking himself if it would be worth the work to burn that off or would it be easier just to avoid it in the first place.  Pretty amazing will power for a young man.

Simple…not easy.

Better to plant yesterday, but yesterday is gone so let’s deal with today.

These simple thoughts have put me down on the ground many times in the past 6 months, pounding out a few more push-ups when I didn’t really ‘have the time’ or some other excuse.

Chris…I will continue to use your passion to inspire me…and I know you continue to inspire many.

Categories
Be The Best.

How cold is -40?

I was asked this question this past week as part of a training session we were in.

The Instructor, from Winnipeg, asked how many people in the group of 8 had experienced -40 degrees.

Only one.

The Instructor asked her to describe -40.

I can’t remember the exact wording, but the class participant’s description was graphic and good…but I still didn’t feel the -40.  The Instructor recalled others describing -40 as being in a meat locker or walk-in freezer, but of course that’s not even close to -40…and then there is the wind chill.

The point?

For the class, the point was about not understanding business processes unless you experienced them and the best way to actually map a process is to see someone do the work, not just talk about it or read a manual.  (that’s the Cole’s notes version…I’ll spare you the details!)

From a personal perspective, I thought the -40 degree question was interesting as well.  It is really impossible to tell anyone exactly what the loss of a child feels like.  It is really impossible to express in words.  Six months later, it remains a balance of amazing positive things that continue to occur and the future looks fantastic with Chris’ SFU fund helping to create positive change…and the deep feeling of loss and longing.  That’s the -40 that I can’t help you understand…(and that’s ok btw).

Now, this isn’t meant to be a sad, downtrodden post, but I want to continue to tell the story of this journey to honour our son and to help others as they make their way.  And when I say honour, I mean the focus on how Chris lived his life and the people he touched and how that inspires me, Ingrid, Max and I know many of you, to live yours.

As we continue forward, yes, there are some feelings that can’t be translated very well…but the feeling of Be The Best and having Chris’ passion fuel our future aren’t among those.  THAT we can feel, express and share.