Be The Best.
Who are friends?
Friends are people who stand by you.
Friends are people who stand behind you.
Friends are people who go before you and clear the way.
Friends are people who believe in you.
Friends are people who are with you when the chips are down.
We recently spent a weekend with friends that have exemplified these traits and many more.
To our many friends we extend our continued thanks for your friendship.
Plain and simple.
Friends forever.
When my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer a couple of weeks ago it was a shock to the system…particularly his system but those shocks were felt throughout the family and circle of supporters.
I showed you a video of me and Dad the morning of his surgery and our walk together…me in Chris’ shoes and Dad wearing Chris’ trucker hat.
The surgery went well, but just as Dad was to be released yesterday, the Docs found some leakage and fluid in the abdomen and he had to go for a second surgery.
He is doing ok today and getting stronger.
Dad was in the hospital just a year and a half ago getting a new hip. In true Dad form he wrote a 4 page list of 32 points called, ‘Humor, and reflections relating to Hip surgery, which took place January 9, 2009′.
This didn’t really surprise me as Dad had completed a list a nine years earlier entitled, ’70 things to do now that I’m 70’.
Love it.
This is a guy who ‘retired’ at 65 and then decided to get some more training to become an ESL instructor even though he holds several degrees already. He made the trek from Abbotsford to Douglas College for several months to make that happen.
I am fully expecting another 32 point reflections document and a list of ’80 things to do now that I’m 80′ when that birthday comes around in February.
I’ll leave you with this little video tonight.
My Mom and Dad have really shown us how to face adversity. They haven’t panicked or asked why or become angry. Instead they’ve made decisions with their family, acknowledged their belief in their strong faith and continued to use humor and warmth in their relationships.
You can see what happens when Dad received a ‘too fast kiss’ from Mom. Poor Mom…we like to tease her! Check out this little bit of fun shot just before we took Dad to the hospital for surgery number 1 last Friday.
Some people who get the Chris Friesen lacrosse stick are going to use it as a display and hang their medals from it. Cool.
Some people are going to just keep it as a way to remember Chris. Cool.
Some people are going to actually tape it up and play a little lacrosse. Cool.
Blaine Boomer did just that on the weekend in Saskatoon scoring 2 hat tricks on the way to helping BC compete for the gold against Ontario.
You can see the Be The Best stick complete with Chris’ signature.
Blaine was kind enough to don his game worn jersey and pose with his Chris Friesen stick when the Boomers dropped by on their way home to the Loops yesterday.
Love the stick. Love the way people are going to use it. Love the fact that it will help raise so much money for Chris’ fund which exists to help challenge lacrosse playing SFU students to Be The Best and ultimately make the world a better place through their lacrosse experience and their chosen profession.
In just a few hours from the time of writing this post, The U16 Team BC Field Lacrosse Team will be fighting for the Gold medal against Team Ontario.
From what I can see from the web stats, the U19 BC Team will also be playing for Gold against Ontario this afternoon.
Ontario is always dominant…but they can be beat!
Team BC proved that a few weeks ago at the National Box tournie in Coquitlam, beating Team Ontario in the round robin portion of the tournie.
For many of these boys, as it was for Chris, these games and this experience this weekend, will be a life long lacrosse highlight and another stepping stone towards playing at the collegiate level and beyond.
The hope of course is for all these experiences to help these young men develop not only as sportsmen, but as people. One day soon, some of them will battle together as Team Canada taking on other nations.
For our family of course, today is significant as the entire BC squad (both U16 and U19 teams) are wearing a CF remembrance on their jerseys.
I KNOW Chris will be watching very closely today.
Good luck to all!!
BONUS:
I took some video at the BOX nationals a few weeks back. This is the most intense bodycheck I have ever filmed. You can do your own analysis, but from my perspective the Team BC player was very smart to not turn into the boards, but instead turn his shoulder and absorb the hit. His helmet and pads protected him as the hit took him hard into the boards. I would like to think that the Ontario player wouldn’t have had to make that hit in the first place, but it is the intensity of the game that gets in players (and fans) blood and that is what keeps them playing! btw, the referee as you will see does not call a penalty and was clearly in a very good position. Anyhoo…a little lacrosse talk for your Labour Day weekend.
GO TEAM BC GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, a thank-you to all of you for the thoughts and prayers and support for my Dad going into surgery today.
The Docs were pleased with how things went and Dad (Jake) will be spending the next 5 days or so in the hospital getting stronger.
He was already joking with the nurses with some bad puns tonight…hmmm…wonder where I get that from…
So what do you do before surgery? Go for a walk of course and get some exercise even if you haven’t eaten in 2 days. Of course you do….if your name is Jake Friesen.
We had a great walk today and I realized that Dad was wearing the trucker hat Ingrid and I had given him from Chris. This was Chris’ favourite hat at the time of his passing and his Grandpa was the logical person to wear it. If you haven’t yet, you can see Chris trying it on Grandpa last New Years and the related blog post.
I also was wearing my hand-me-up sneakers from Chris that I wrote about the other week.
So here we were having a little stroll and Chris was with us as Dad prepared for his fight with cancer and surgery later that day.
Couldn’t imagine a better Be The Best moment.
And as I put at the end of the little video, anytime is a good time.
In other words, anytime is a GOOD time…ie, even though our family is together here to support Dad through his battle (and Mom with hers), we can still have fun, laugh and get a little exercise.
The other meaning of course is that ANYTIME is a good time to go for a walk, have a chat, build a relationship, play tennis, go skiing, go hiking, play scrabble, have dinner with family, play ping-pong or anything else you can think of.
I loved that Chris joined us today too. Love ya kid.
I came across a few quotations of a Greek philosopher named Epictetus. He lived from Ad 55-135.
How do I know this? Cause Wikipedia says so and it never lies…
In any event, Epictetus was an interesting fellow.
Try these quotes on for size.
No great thing is created suddenly.
Or this:
It is your own convictions which compels you; that is, choice compels choice.
Or finally:
God hath entrusted me with myself.
All interesting on their own.
When you take them together, I think even more interesting.
Remember way back a blog post about my thoughts of humans being different from the animal kingdom on the basis of the opportunity to choose?
Epictetus seemed to have that figured out a few thousand years back.
God has entrusted us with choice.
We make choices.
No great thing is created suddenly. It’s really a series of small choices.
What I really like about this thinking is that when I make a bad choice it’s the body of work that is really what will be looked at, not one decision.
I think that is what makes Chris’ life so powerful.
When you look at the body of work, it’s a few poorer choices (that so many of us have made during our teenage years and beyond) but many more amazingly powerful positive choices.
That’s the Be The Best philosophy at work!
It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about Being The Best. That means, learning from mistakes and making more choices. Simple philosophy…a little harder in action, but that’s the goal!
Making choices and decisions with our God-given human ability and working towards that ‘great thing’ that is never created suddenly.
Have a great week.
Two teens from Brookswood Secondary are getting into a fight tonight. This is the school both Max and Chris attended.
No, not behind the school. No, not in the hallway.
This is an amateur boxing match where Beau Brooks is making his debut against Mat Andreatta.
Beau was a very close friend of Chris.
Beau joined our family this past New Years at Silver Star for a few days of skiing and snowboarding.
Beau, I know someone who is going to have a virtual ring side seat for this match and going to be going crazy for you!!
Having a dream of being in the ring, going after it, training hard and then getting your first fight along with the front page of the sports section in the paper…that’s Be The Best!
You’ll have a little something special in your corner tonight Beau.
For the full story in the Langley Advance article.
Where: Coast Hotel and Convention Centre – 20393 Fraser Hwy
When: Fri, Aug 27 starting at 7:30pm
I had a phone call today with Tom Golden from Maryland, USA.
You may remember that name from a blog post a week or so back titled, ‘For men only…yah right’.
It was a very interesting conversation as we explored topics about men and the grieving process and how men react differently to loss and honouring a loved one.
We are looking at doing an interview via Skype in the future so stay tuned!
There was one very interesting thing though that I couldn’t wait until that interview to share.
Tom again had some great insights into the male perspective on communication and how that relates to the grieving process.
He told me some amazing stories about sports stars and musicians…but I’ll keep you waiting for those and let him tell you.
I had told him about an example of ‘man communication’ that I relayed on this blog a few months back. Going on a golf weekend with ‘the guys’ is usually about 90% having fun, letting your hair down (ok, you know that hurts seeing as my hairstyle is a Number 1 with a razor…) and DOING STUFF. There is usually some (maybe 10%) sincere and deeper conversation, but not predetermined or predictable.
This was not news to Tom. He stated that it is the ACTIVITY itself, the ‘shoulder to shoulder battle’, that bonds men. That ties into everything from war to sports. It was the next comment Tom made that really hit home. He said that it is the joined activity (fighting an enemy, conquering a mountain, driving an ATV around) that combines some danger and challenge that provides a SAFE ZONE for men to talk to each other. ie, if this guy has my back, I may be able to have a deeper conversation.
I found that very interesting.
You see in the vid attached a little fun with ATV’s courtesy of Drake with Wayne and Brad driving and yours truly filming while trying to hold on.
Thinking about this another way…four hours of golf to have a 2 minute serious conversation.
It’s all making much more sense now. Maybe I will unretire from golf after all.
btw…I know it’s 5 months today that Chris passed away and we continue to thank you for remembering us in your thoughts and prayers.
Those sunsets still get me.
I can’t see one without thinking about Chris.
Whether it’s the sun streaming through the clouds or punching out that silver lining or just glowing as it nears the mountains or horizon, I love it.
These pics were taken during an evening of friends and fun (thanks Melody and Drake!).
The sun will set.
The sun will rise.
And more decisions will be made.
During last week’s Midget Lacrosse Nationals it reminded me of Chris at the 2007 Bantam Box Lacrosse Nationals in Ontario.
btw, Team BC lost in their bronze medal bid this past Friday night. A tough way to end after that epic battle with Ontario to beat them in the tournament round. From Ontario’s perspective, I’m betting they had a little payback on their minds and with BC having to play an extra game Friday morning, they took advantage. All that being said, some great lacrosse by all and some great development as players and young men going through all of those emotions and experiences.
Back to 2007.
In order to help with the trip expenses to Ontario, the players were allowed to raise private funds to help make the trip a reality. I recently uncovered the one-pager that described the program and gave potential donors an idea of who Chris was.
Here is how it opened:
Know many teenagers who write down their goals?
Know many teenagers who then break down their goals into actionable work plans and don’t quit until they’ve made it?
Meet Chris Friesen.
Along with excellent grades, this 14-year-old wrote down a goal of making the top-tier lacrosse team (A1) in Langley.
He served as team captain and the team completed an amazing season in first place heading into the Provincial championships in mid July.
In addition to league play, he was selected to Team Fraser Vally and then to Team BC. He will be representing our province in Ontario this August.
Specifically, I will always be thankful to my Wardell clients and friends at Mainland Machinery and Sitelines Architecture respectfully, for their major support of Chris during that program.
I’ll never forget Chris writing down that goal (a practice we’ve done as a family at New Years each year).
It was achievable, but a stretch goal for sure.
I got it son.
I’m listening.
BONUS:
There are over 300 photos on-line of that 2007 trip. Click here to view.
Be The Best.