So many people have told us or emailed us about how they thought of us over Christmas.
I know so many more think of us often and are thinking of us now as we mark what would have been Chris’ 18th birthday tomorrow even if they don’t or can’t tell us.
We are exactly the same way.
We’ve been following the story of the Berg family in Mission and Gillian Berg’s amazing strength and very real highs and lows as she takes care of her family and slowly moves forward with each day.
The reason I say we are the same is that our hearts go out to Gillian and her family, but we don’t know them personally. Our thoughts and prayers are with them, but we haven’t verbalized that to them. For now we will support by reading, caring and praying. Just as we’ve done, she can see by the blog views how so many people are supporting them.
We know that’s what people do for us all the time.
As we approach Chris’ birthday tomorrow, we don’t have any big public events happening. A few of his school buds will drop by. As a family, we’ll head to our favourite steakhouse for a big steak dinner and piece of ice cream cake. Chris was a fitness and health food fanatic, but he would eat steak and ice cream cake…and we’ll have some in his honour tomorrow night.
So the question is always, what can I do? What should I do? I don’t know them very well, or even if I do, I’m not sure what to do.
Here’s the solution.
We’d ask everyone who reads this blog to do some little thing in honour of Chris tomorrow.
Here’s a few ideas.
1. push-ups – even doing one or two in his name would be cool
2. make a toast when you have dinner
3. hug your kids
4. hug your parents
5. eat some yogurt (he would eat probably 4-6 per day)
6. wish him a happy birthday verbally
7. cook some eggs (yep…he ate a LOT of eggs)
There’s a few ways.
I’m sure you can think of more.
Drop us a comment if you want to share.
If you don’t, we totally get it and we want to say thank you for the continued support.
I’ve asked my Dad if he wanted to jot a few thoughts down for the blog from time to time. I think it’s a beautiful tribute to his grandson and Faith in general. Keep rockin it Dad! Heavy…and good. Thanks.
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Unspeakable! This word occurs only three times in the New Testament, and could also be rendered as indescribable (NKJ), or inexpressible.
I was thinking of this word as I thought of Chris.
All of the words spoken or sung or written since that dark day of March 25, 2010 cannot adequately express what is in our hearts: there is something inexpressible here.
The raw emotions, the feelings, the conflicting thoughts cry out for resolution, but there is no resolution.
The thoughts of our hearts end with questions rather than periods; they are questions that have no answers.
The trauma of all that happened has left us dangling in space.
We are on the wrong side of the door of a mystery, of something inexpressible.
A human life is inexpressible.
Chris’s life was and is inexpressible.
The Christ-gift that came at Christmas is declared to be God’s unspeakable gift.
(2 Corinthians 9: 15)
This Christ, the ultimate Creator of life, declares all of our lives invaluable.
The Christ presides over Chris’ life even now, in a divine continuum, even while we mourn Chris’ departure from us.
The indescribable Christ weeps with us now in our pain, and desires to lead us through the valley of the shadow until we too shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I was aiming to keep tabs on The Hawks playoff game this afternoon and do a few things around the house.
Oops….couldn’t stop watching.
Max and I watched the second half together including one of the most amazing runs for a touchdown in NFL playoff history.
It had Be The Best all over it.
That hunger, drive and desire to win is what drew Chris to sports and it is what continues to draw Max and I to sports whether it is the NFL, NHL or playing basketball or soccer ourselves.
If sports is your thing…or if you want to see some Be The Best in action, check out this amazing run.
Over Christmas I had a bit more time to look at some history and came across this article featuring a quote from Chris. I love the comments about team.
Funny story leading up to this tournie. The team was raising funds to go to Calgary and had received the ‘ok’ to stand in front of certain liquor stores with jerseys on and request donations via a donation bucket. (don’t ask why…it was easier than a car wash I guess…!)
Anyways, Chris and his buddy Brett Dobray were at a store and I noticed that they would get some people stopping and donating, but many would pass on by. That is to be expected. Lacrosse is a growing sport and people didn’t have an emotional connection as they might with hockey.
I had a marketing thought.
I made up some signs that said, ‘help us beat Calgary’ and ‘we’ll bodycheck an Albertan for $10’. You should have seen the difference! People were stopping….and donating and donating some more. It was incredible.
What was the difference?
All of a sudden there was an emotional connection. In BC, people love (usually in good nature) to bash Albertans! Hey, when we’re out of the country we’re all brothers and sisters! It’s like a brotherly competition…just watch the Canucks and Calgary or Edmonton and you get the rivalry. It was just amazing to see people engage emotionally and then with their wallets as they connected with the BC vs Alberta challenge. All of a sudden they felt like THEY were going to be playing simply by donating $10 or $20 bucks.
The boys loved that story and that experience…seeing how words and approach could make such a difference.
Secondly, those boys DID play for everyone of those donors and played their hearts out, winning gold, with 6 members of that team representing BC nationally later that summer.
Here’s the full story:
July 2007
The Langley Thunder Bantam A1’s traveled to Calgary over the Canada Day weekend. Forget bull riding at the Stampede, they were there for some hard hitting, fast paced box lacrosse action. Perhaps the actual thunder storm on Saturday night was a good omen for the Thunder, as the young men (just completed grade seven and eight) took on competition from all over Western Canada.
Saturday match-ups had the squad take on the Sabrecats from Calgary beating them 11-3 with Adam Gallen earning game MVP for a strong offensive performance. The Thunder continued by defeating Saskatchewan’s provincial team in the afternoon game by a score of 9-2 led by game MVP goaltender Ryley Brown who’s saves propelled the offensive charge and final decisive score.
Sunday’s games featured a strong Red Deer team with Langley prevailing by a score of 7-5. Game MVP Chris Friesen had a strong defensive showing against a physical opponent. In the afternoon game, Langley fell behind a skilled Calgary Axeman team, but rallied from a 3 goal deficit to chop the tournament defending champion Axeman 10-7. A brilliant goal and full game hustle earned Will Vandenhooven the game MVP. Having gone 4-0 in tournament play, the Thunder headed into the gold medal game against an all-star team from Calgary called the Hornets.
The game lived up to the hype with the first period ending tied at zero. The Hornets came out stinging in the 2nd period and opened up a 2-1 lead with two Langley players in the sin bin with the period ending. The Hornets capitalized on the 2-man advantage at the beginning of the 3rd by netting a goal and opening a two-goal lead. If it were not for the heroics of Ryley Brown, the Thunder goalie, the score may have been much higher. Instead of folding their tents however, the Thunder rallied led by team wide explosive defensive performance leading to goals by Brett Dobray and Michael Messenger. With the game tied Adam Gallen scored a timely goal with 1 second left on the shot clock. Langley then iced the cake with a massive defensive effort during pure pandemonium breaking in the Thunder zone. With the Hornet goalie pulled for an extra attacker Brett Dobray flew down the floor with two Hornets all over him and scored a diving empty netter for a final score of 5-3 for the Thunder.
Chris Friesen, the team captain stated, “We have been working hard at team play. Working for each other and working together. I think we did that throughout this tournament and the results we achieved were excellent”.
“I’m proud of each member of this squad. Everyone played hard and played together”, added Coach Sean Beasley.
Next up for the team is the Provincial Championships hosted in Langley this year which will be held July 18-22.
Six members of the Langley Thunder Bantam A1 team will also be representing BC in the National Tournament in August in Ontario.
Although the winter weather is pounding eastern Canada and the US, the upper west coast of North America has been relatively mild…so far. With a few absolutely spectacular days in Vancouver over the Christmas break, it was a great opportunity to get out to Blackie Spit for a walk.
I’ve posted a previous blog about this place, adjacent to Crescent Beach, and if you can find the time to grab a coffee or tea and head out for a walk, this is an amazing place. Don’t forget your camera.
My Mom loves the ocean and with my Mom and Dad down for a few days over Christmas, this was a great mini trip here in the Lower Mainland.
Take a look at the words on the sign.
‘Imagine this oasis if you were resting during flight.’
Blackie Spit is the home to over 200 species of birds on their migratory routes in fall and spring.
I thought those were interesting words as I reflected on our journey on the new normal pathway and the need to rest during flight.
In many ways, I think that’s what the holidays are supposed to be about. A rest. Not a final place, but a pit-stop along the way. A chance to reflect, eat a whole lot, relax a bit and then get ready to fly again.
I love that last line as well, ‘as you wonder at its beauty, enjoy the sights and sounds; make sure to breathe the salty breeze the wind whips around’.
Two points.
First point: Not sure when the Surrey Parks Board or a Nature Society began to hire poets to write their sign info, but I like it!!
Second point: Resting during flight and feeling the salty breeze that the wind whips around is really great advice.
Burnaby towers under the North Shore MountainsMom and Dad on a little walk.
It’s the circle of life. The smaller species eats gingerbread, which in turn becomes prey for the larger cousin…I mean species.
Ok, there was a bit of encouragement from the part of the photographer, but I love this pic.
Ingrid had a great idea that we’d have teams building gingerbread houses. What could go wrong?
Editorial comment: We tried this once with our Marketing group at BCIT. Wow. One group built a gingerbread brothel…but I digress. Ladies of the evening built out of gingerbread…yah, what could go wrong indeed!? (excellent creative skills…just need some guidance from time to time…) 😉
We had no such incidents at our most recent building event.
These were great houses and Ethan and Max built the one you see above.
It was a fun way to add a positive memory and experience to our Christmas gathering.
That wife of mine…always the good ideas!
As the calendar flies so quickly away from Christmas into the New Year, these houses will become a fun memory of Christmas 2010.
We couldn’t go a minute without thinking of Chris. He would have loved this event too and probably somehow worked a lacrosse theme into his gingerbread house.
The new normal includes great memories of the past with Chris and everyone else and new experiences too…maybe that IS the circle of life after all.
I had heard this Vince Gill song a bunch of times.
In fact I think we own the Vince Gill Christmas CD.
Only thing was, aside from the chorus, I hadn’t really ever listened to the words.
I received an email from someone thinking about us with the song attached.
I listened intently and then looked up the lyrics which I’ve put in below.
Vince Gill is an amazing artist.
His voice is full of feeling, emotion and passion.
When I understood what the song was actually about, it was that much more powerful.
Yes…Christmas is all about family and I love the last line as well.
We’re all part of a bigger family…he states, ‘we’re all children of the King of Kings’.
What I’ve loved (really!), so much about the past 9 months is people reaching out to us from all walks of life. All religious backgrounds. All cultures.
When you look at the big picture, we, as in the human race, are all brothers and sisters and truly children of the King of Kings.
Has Christmas been easy?
Nope.
Has knowing that we are connected to a bigger family, literally and figuratively, helped us?
Yup.
Here’s those lyrics.
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It Won’t Be The Same This Year – Vince Gill
It’s time to pack our bags and hit the highway,
And head on out for Christmas holiday,
I’ll fall apart when I pull in the driveway,
It’s my first time home since brother passed away,
His favorite time of year was always Christmas,
We’ll reminisce about the days gone by,
Oh how I wish that he was still here with us,
My memories with him will never die,
(Bridge)
But when the stockings are hung,
And silent night has been sung,
And Christmas is finally here,
It won’t be the same this year,
Losing my big brother hurt so badly,
It’s help me learn what Christmas really means,
There’s nothing more important than your family,
We’re all the children of the King of Kings,
(Bridge)
He’s right on target to visit British Columbia in the next few hours!
Ethan reminded me that we had forgotten to make name cards for the places at the table. I asked if he could handle it and this sharp Grade 2’er took charge and wrote all the names down. He then showed me the tag he had made for Chris. Of course Chris needed a tag too. I told him to add it to my plate. It was very cool.
I mentioned at Thanksgiving that we didn’t set an extra place for Chris, but rather toasted him and acknowledged that he was with us always. Tonight we did the same and raised our glasses and told Chris we loved him.
Then Ethan told some reindeer jokes.
Hey, did you know what the wettest animal in the world is? Duh. Raindeer.
That’s how it goes.
I love the eyes of a child. Poignant. Pure. Powerful…and just plain Funny.
As much as we look ahead and live for tomorrow, there are still times to reflect on history.
I stumbled across some pictures from Chris and the Bantam Box Lacrosse squad from BC as they represented the Province so admirably in August of 2007.
I had written updates for the BC Lacrosse magazine and this was my final piece summarizing the tournament.
In that final game Chris played the game of his life to that point, being a physical presence that helped BC clinch the Bronze medal in a heavyweight showdown with Alberta. (ok, as heavyweight as 14 year olds can be…which is actually quite heavy…!)
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Chris with good bud Brett Dobray
The journey for the Bantam BC boys began months ago. There were regional selection camps. There was the Team BC final selection camp. For those chosen to represent BC, a number of weekends were spent training for the national championships.
The 22 lacrosse players, along with coaches and entourage, jetted out of Vancouver on Thursday, August 2. After spending 2 days in Peterborough, Ontario for a conditioning camp, the team traveled to the dorms at Durham College in Oshawa, which would be home for the next week.
On Sunday, August 5th, the highlight of the day was the opening ceremonies at the Iroquois Park Sports Centre, touted as Canada’s largest municipal sports centre.
The teams were cheered on by enthusiastic supporters as they entered the arena. Team BC looked strongly West Coast in their multi-blue and gold jerseys proudly showing the mountains and a west coast ‘feel’.
Chris with Mr. Will VH
It felt like every team would be immediately ready to set up the nets and get playing, but there was one more night to go.
On Monday morning, seeing the Team BC players hit the floor in the warm-up of game one against Manitoba produced chills. “Those jerseys look awesome”, whispered one onlooker from an opposing team to his buddy. His friend couldn’t say anything. They were. And as good as the uniforms looked, Bantam Team BC looked even better in them. This was the first official game they had played together and the game ended with a score of 16-1 for the BC crew.
Team BC played Saskatchewan Monday afternoon which was a hard hitting matinee with both teams making their opponents pay the price to get to the net. Team BC finished the game strong with a final score of 10-2.
With two solid first-day games under their collective belts, rest was the top priority post-game, with a major test against Ontario on Tuesday.
Monday’s muggy weather made the arenas the equivalent of being in a steam room with a parka on and you could add an additional 10 degrees on the floor itself. The event staff could not operate the exhaust fans either, explaining that by doing so the draw of air into the building would produce dangerous slippery floor conditions because of the moist, humid conditions outside.
Tuesday’s conditions improved somewhat in the morning with overcast skies and less humidity allowing the exhaust fans to run.
Team Ontario plays big and they came out hitting and highly aggressive. Team BC took the first period to adjust and came back hard in the second with an exceptional effort but the spirited affair ended with a 5-2 loss for BC.
Team Ontario looked strong, but Team BC was immediately hungry to play again. They didn’t have long to wait as Nova Scotia was the challenger in the 6:30pm game. Team BC jumped to an early lead and dominated the run of the play. The final score was BC 10 and Nova Scotia 2.
Wednesday was a rest day.
Thursday’s results were not what Team BC would have wanted. The morning affair featured a game against a rough and tumble brand of lacrosse from Alberta. The Bantams got behind early and could never completely recover. The game ended in an all-out frenzy with Team BC running out of time to mount a full comeback.
Following a brief lunch break, it was ‘game-on’ with Iroquois Nation. A win in this game meant advancing to the 2 vs. 3 playoff game on Friday with a chance to proceed to the gold medal game on Saturday. A loss in the game would mean a bittersweet day off on Friday with a run at the bronze medal.
Chris gets ready to take on all comers in that familiar defensive stance.
The Iroquois Bantams showed BC and every fan in attendance a little thing or two about lacrosse on Thursday evening. Their passing was quick and rhythmic; almost mesmerizing. Their shooting was beautifully wicked. It was as if the Iroquois were stating, “Don’t forget who invented this game.” The symphony of drive, desire, and stick skills mixed with quiet aggression and flawless execution culminated in a 9-1 win for the Iroquois.
This is not to say that Team BC didn’t show up. They did. They worked hard and at times their hard work was misinterpreted into penalty minutes that ended up putting them in multiple odd man situations.
Following the unexpected day off on Friday, the Bantam squad had one thing and one thing only in their sites on Saturday. The Bronze Medal.
They hit. They ran. They shot. They never gave up. If they wanted to have an excuse to fold their tents, they had one in the first period after out-chancing Alberta but finding themselves down by a couple of goals.
In a battle against a team that plays a mean and physical brand of lacrosse you have to play hard and you have to play smart. Team BC executed their game plan perfectly.
Building on a 2nd period attack that just wouldn’t quit, goals were scored by Wesley Berg, Drew Millikin, Mason Pynn, Steve Ferdinandi and Michael Henry. The final score was Team BC 8 and Alberta 4.
The boy’s elation was palatable. Parents and supporters hugged in the stands. The coaches high-fived each other as the players swarmed their goalie, Ryley Brown, in an embrace of champions.
“I’m glad we got things done”, said a proud Coach Sean Beasley. Getting things done was not an easy task. This team could have easily been very down after losing to Alberta and Team Iroquois on Thursday, but they rallied and came to work on Saturday like a team possessed.
With the Bronze Medals proudly around their necks, the players traded gear with new friends who had been foes and looked forward to the next time they could play for their Province in a National Championship.
The Bantam squad from BC did their province proud and they will inevitably bring back experiences, emotions and skill that will build their club teams and ultimately continue to build the beautiful game of lacrosse.
We got home from work a little earlier than usual the other day.
It was just in time to see our young community newspaper carrier hoofing it up the rather steep grade of our road, getting those papers to the front doors along the street. I liked his approach. Not walking across lawns, bringing the paper all the way to the front doors, etc.
Ingrid suggested I should give him a Christmas tip. Great idea.
As he came up the driveway I asked him how long he had been doing the route. Since November he said. Great timing, I replied,….just before Christmas! I asked how many times he delivered the paper. Tuesdays, Fridays but in the Christmas break, Sundays too as he would be covering for someone else.
I asked him if he liked working hard. Yes, he said.
You can’t fake sincerity. I gave him his whopping $2 Christmas tip and his eyes lit up but he stayed professional…for a 10 year old kid.
I told him my name was Mr. Friesen and shook his hand. He told me his name and we concluded the business transaction.
I then went into the garage and finished getting stuff from the car with the biggest lump in my throat remembering the paper routes the boys had and helping them out and all the ‘fun’ that happens when you have a paper route. Paper routes are a fantastic way to work, but better yet, a fantastic way to learn about dealing with people.
What my young paperboy is learning is that working hard is good. And working hard can get you noticed. Combine working hard with quality and consistency and you’ve got a Be The Best formula that will carry you for the rest of your life.
I remember when the boys would get a few bucks as tips. It would make their day and week. It allowed us as parents to tie the concepts of hard work to being rewarded. It was a great learning experience.
Whether our paperboy headed down to the local convenience store to buy some gum and a slurpee or just kept the money and put it in his piggy bank, I know it sparked a thought in his mind about equating work with reward…you could see those wheels turning.
Be The Best. 