Tag: Chris Friesen

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Be The Best.

Sunsets in a different place.

You know I love sunrises and especially sunsets.

This is a bit of a different one.  This is taken with a lousy Blackberry phone, but I loved the sun screaming across the field and shining on a wall.

The field is a cemetery and the wall is Chris’ wall.  Dogwood #41.

Every time we go to the cemetery it is a special moment for lack of a better word.

We get that Chris’ spirit doesn’t live there.

But that being said, it’s becoming a very cool place to connect with Chris and all the love, emotions, hopes, desires, proud moments, sad moments, lost future, and hope of a future to come.

Here’s a little peek at that world.

View from Chris' wall looking out across the cemetery field at the setting sun.
View of Chris' wall with his white rose (from his Mom) and paper marker as we await his brass name plate. Love the sun hitting the wall in the latter part of the day.
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Be The Best.

It’s Friday

Tony Campolo: Author and speaker on political ...
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It’s Friday.

But Sunday’s coming.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard Dr. Tony Campolo speak.  An amazing orator, social activist and sometimes preacher.

If you’ve got 6 minutes, watch this video and listen to him go.

It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

Even before we lost Chris I always wondered about Good Friday.

What’s good about the cross and the suffering surrounding that event?

Not much.

The ‘good’ in Friday is the knowledge that Sunday is coming.

For Christians this is the core of the faith.  There is resurrection.  There is hope.  Sunday is coming.

For us as we long to see Chris again, we also recognize that it’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

You can call Friday good, but nothing really good happened on that day, but in context, Sunday was coming and things got really good.

So today we’ll say, “It’s Friday….but SUNDAY’S COMING!!”

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Be The Best.

Now that was something.

AC (Cathy AJ Hardy) put on her CD release concert last night.

It was great to see so many people there including many blog readers!

I hate it when your little sister can make you cry, but the song she sang for Chris last night melted the pieces of my heart.

Ingrid and I recently met with a strong woman who had experienced the loss of her son over a decade ago.

The first thing I noticed about her was her eyes.  Determined.  Deep.  Questioning but peaceful.

I loved that presence.

Sure, there were unanswered questions, but that same theme came up as it has again and again.

She had made choices about her future as she moved forward.

AC’s concert was all about the journey.

It was all about making decisions even though the path wasn’t always clear.

Generally speaking we’ll never have all the data to make ‘perfect’ decisions.

We simply continue to choose and move forward toward our goal.

Here’s a few pics.

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Be The Best.

Kick that.

The Karate Kid
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Have you seen that Karate Kid movie?

I haven’t…but I watched a preview, read a review and someone talked to me about it so I pretty much have…

I did see the first generation of films in the 80’s, and I know the 2010 film garnered a lot of solid positive reviews.

It was watching the preview bits on a Blue-Ray disc though that really caught my eye and ear.

The Mr. Han character (the amazing Jackie Chan) states ‘Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not to stand back up.’

You can see it here at about 49 seconds in.

Life will knock us down…but we can CHOOSE to get back up.

There’s that word again!!

During a week like this where for whatever reasons the feelings of loss are amplified, we continue to choose.

Rock your weekend.

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Be The Best.

Wow I miss that kid

I don’t know what was up with today.

I missed Chris at every turn.  Not totally unusual…somehow just more emphasized today.

Maybe it started last night.

I was walking to the hockey game and thought about the Canucks starting another playoff run.

As I walked along False Creek I told Chris how much I missed him and that I hoped he was taking in the action, which I certainly believe he will be.

Today though, I just miss my kid.

Over a year later and the emotions and depth of feeling equals anything we’ve felt so far.  In other words, the deepness of the loss continues, even though we must carry on.  And if we’re carrying on, we better do a good job of it.  In fact, why don’t we aim to Be The Best!

Speaking of that, AC is holding her concert in Abbotsford on Saturday.

Here’s a few blog posts/articles about her album release and concert info for those inclined.

I can’t hear her music without thinking of Chris.

http://www.rablog.ca/2011/04/14/cathy-hardy-music-concert-in-abbotsford/

http://westcoastmomma.com/2011/04/13/on-the-blog-cathy-aj-hardy-emerton-recording-artist/

Memories are filled with love.

Memories are filled with loss.

Nothing’s easy when you lose a part of you.

You can’t get that back.

We only control our next decision and so we will carry on.

That being said…..Chris, we miss you like you’ll never know.

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Be The Best.

Anyone ever give you a pig?

So I got a pig a couple of weeks back.

Yup, a pig.

Now, not a real live pig, but a real pig just the same.

I love the pig.

In fact, he now has a home right beside my computer where most of these blog posts are written.

To understand the pig, you must see the pig.  Notice anything different about this pig?  If you said it’s made of wood, that’s a good start.  It has a ribbon around its neck.  Good.  Perhaps the wings on the pig’s back?  YES….with tongue firmly in cheek…if you said, this pig had wings, THAT is exactly what is different than most traditional pigs…wooden or otherwise.

The coolest thing about this pig however, is the medal it is wearing around his neck.

It says, Believe pigs can fly And they will grow wings.

I LOVE THAT!

Sometimes to conquer what seems like insurmountable odds, something very special needs to occur.

Occasionally pigs need to grow wings.

I love this pig.

Thanks ‘you know who you are’ for giving it to me and reminding us all about the power of believing the impossible.

Love it.

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Be The Best.

When the wind kicks up, you’re bound to get a few Whitecaps

250
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Sports has been a big part of our family.

Whether coaching the boys soccer teams, Max playing basketball and Chris lacrosse.

Then there was the fan part of sports.

Tonight Ingrid and I ventured out to our first Whitecaps soccer game.

It was a fantastic experience…aside from the referee who felt he should be the center of attention, but alas before this becomes a sports rant, I’ll stop.  (cause if I don’t I’ll probably get a red card seeing as they were being handed out like candy tonight) ((ok, I’ll really stop now))

The crowd was great.  The game was great.  The atmosphere was great.  The company was great.

One of the first things Ingrid said to me as we sat down was what do you think Chris would think of the soccer team, MLS in Vancouver etc.  I said I knew he would love it and given the open air atmosphere of Empire Field, he probably had the best seats in the house tonight.

I will never forget the Canucks playoff run and disappointment last year and the anticipation of a BIG run this year.

It was riveting and was a great distraction in very tough times.  I think though, it was more than just a distraction.  It reminded me of the passion that only comes from sports.  The kind of passion that Chris lived with.  I think that’s the true attraction.

When the winds kick up and the storm is blowin, there are bound to be a few whitecaps on the water.  We’ve seen a few of those in our family this past year!

However, it was the Whitecaps tonight, that offered that wonderful first-hand look into the purity and passion of sport and remind us both of another amazing athlete and son we know, love and remember with every heartbeat.

yfrog Photo : http://yfrog.com/gyuyzlrj Shared by randy_friesen.

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Be The Best.

Yearnin for Vernon

My Dad used that phrase a lot to help my Mom support the vision of a Vernon retirement about 13 years ago.

I’m Yearnin for Vernon he would say.

After another weekend visit, I’ll say I love Vernon, but I’m yearnin not to go up there every other weekend…!

We took the beautiful drive from Sun Peaks through Kamloops to Vernon Jubilee Hospital where we saw not one, but two parents on different floors.

Then something cool happened.

Dad was well enough to go for an adventure, and after Grace paved the way with the Nurses looking after Mom, Max and Ingrid negotiated a wheel chair and we took Dad to see his bride.  He told us he may be emotional and he was a bit.  These two still are deeply in love after 55 years plus…really great to see.

We also showed Mom and Dad the video from yesterday’s blog and Dad’s skis at the chapel in the sky at the top of Sun Peaks.  That was sort of cool.

Mom’s immunity continues low because of chemo treatment but her spirit was a strong as ever.  Currently a severe ear infection has her hospitalized.  As hard as it was to see her in a hospital bed, she’s getting good care.

Dad is unattached from all hoses and tubes which is a great thing!  He is moving on to short-term care in another facility before heading home once Mom is more fully recovered.

Someone asked me what more our family could take given the past year with losing Chris and current circumstances with my folks and my sister’s heart attack.

That answer is relatively simple.

Some things we can control and some are not within our control.

But…the one thing we ALWAYS control is our ability to make the next decision.  Simple things like making the decision to head to Vernon today.  I was very happy to have the chance for Max to see and talk with his Grandma and Grandpa with Ingrid as well.

You can’t buy those moments.  Every one is exceedingly special.

In a light-hearted exchange I told Dad that Max would be voting for the first time this election and that he was voting for the Green party (not that there is anything wrong with that!).  My Dad is a staunch Reformer/Conservative complete with official calendars of Stephen Harper wearing what appears to be a different sweater each month.  The look that Dad shot at Max was priceless and then Max admitted he was actually probably leaning towards Mark Warawa (Conservative), but he might need a calendar.  No problem Dad said, he had an extra.

Dad floats between that kind of sharpness and some less sharp times but his colour is good and the prognosis is pretty decent at this stage.

For every conversation and every ability to share a laugh…we are exceptionally thankful.  We controlled the ability to have that moment and took it.

Rock your week.

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Be The Best.

2, 32, 41

No, those are not a sequence of numbers uttered by a football quarterback.

Those are jersey numbers Chris wore and was known for.

#2 in Langley.

#32 for Burnaby Mountain Selects

#41 proudly representing the great province of British Columbia

Tomorrow, March 25, is quite a day.

One year ago we lost our son.

Not a day or hour goes by without a thought of him.  Most hours the thoughts continue minute by minute.

We have found a place for people to come and remember Chris.

His ashes will remain forever at the Langley Lawn Cemetery at 208 and 44th.

It’s a beautiful place with 6 granite memorial walls in a stand of trees near 208th avenue.

When we went to view the walls, we found that two of the six walls were dedicated to individuals and four to couples.

One was called Maple and one was called Dogwood.

Wouldn’t you know it, Maple 32 was available as was Dogwood 41.

Maple 32 is amazing because the BMS logo is a Maple Leaf.

Dogwood 41 is amazing because Dogwood is the provincial flower and 41 was the number Chris wore for the province when he played at the Nationals in 2009.

Because of a few logistical reasons, we’ve chosen Dogwood 41 as the final resting place.

It’s a beautiful place to go.

Our family will be there tomorrow, joined a bit later by a few of Chris’ friends.  We wanted to show them personally where they can go to remember Chris so that they in turn can show others.

The journey continues, but this is a huge step for us.

I know my Dad in the ICU in Vernon is with us in spirit as is my Mom from Vernon and other family that can’t be with us personally. (health update: Dad is inching forward…very slow, but steady right now which is good)

Although tomorrow is a day for family and Chris’ close friends, we welcome anyone over the next weeks and months to stop by and spend a few minutes in thought about how passionately Chris lived his life and how he was determined to Be The Best.

I’ll never forget him writing down the goal of making the A1 Langley Thunder Lacrosse team.

I’ve never seen a kid so driven to achieve that goal.  He made it.  It was amazing.

Thanks for your continued support and all the thoughts and prayers coming our way this week.

We feel it!

PS

At 2:32 and 41 seconds, we will be looking up at the sky and saying hi to Chris.

If you want to take a quick look up at the sky at any time tomorrow and say hi to Chris, please do!  I know he would love it.  Dad…that’s you too!!  I know you can see the sky from your hospital bed!!

PPS

This blog has never been about money and never will be, but some people have asked what else they can do.  We will continue to give to Chris’ fund every year via Simon Fraser University’s giving program.  It’s a way to remember Chris and also challenge a new athlete every year to Be The Best.  The University has just set up a direct link for Chris’ fund.  They handle all donation receipts etc directly.  Here’s the link.

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Be The Best.

‘Happy’ Birthday

Family Pics, October 2007

Words are funny…sometimes not ‘ha ha’ funny.

Happy Birthday.  That’s the greeting.

I remember my birthday back in October.

Good day.  VERY tough day.

Ingrid’s birthday is today.

She’s had a good day, but a tough day too.

The birthday wishes have been wonderful.

Max found the perfect card for his Mom.

It says:

Mom,

Some years are better than others,

and this past one

has been especially difficult for you

and for all of us who love you.

I understand

that you may not feel

like a big birthday celebration

but I want you to know

that today and every day

I quietly celebrate you.

I celebrate your faith,

your courage,

and your grace.

You are beautiful, Mom.

I am honored to be your child.

And I wish you a birthday

filled with quiet comforts,

loving gestures,

and sweet, sweet blessings.

——————

Those words combined with Max’s handwritten comments almost distracted Ingrid totally from my present of gift cards from the gas station.  (…now you don’t think I’m THAT dumb do you?…WAIT…don’t answer that.)

Here’s something else that’s a little fun.

I put this card in front of me to write this post and realized that MOM upside down is WOW.

I’ll tell you something.

When this Mom’s life got turned upside down this past year…she was WOW.

Incredibly gracious.

Incredibly kind.

Incredibly loving.

Incredibly considerate.

Incredibly broken but somehow strong as we’ve moved together along this path of our new world.

‘Happy’ Birthday.

Yes.  I’m happy to celebrate who you are and what you mean to our sons, our families, our workplace, our friends and all the other people you’ve connected with on this journey.