Tag: life

Categories
Be The Best.

Dad and the too fast kiss.

When my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer a couple of weeks ago it was a shock to the system…particularly his system but those shocks were felt throughout the family and circle of supporters.

I showed you a video of me and Dad the morning of his surgery and our walk together…me in Chris’ shoes and Dad wearing Chris’ trucker hat.

The surgery went well, but just as Dad was to be released yesterday, the Docs found some leakage and fluid in the abdomen and he had to go for a second surgery.

He is doing ok today and getting stronger.

Dad was in the hospital just a year and a half ago getting a new hip.  In true Dad form he wrote a 4 page list of 32 points called, ‘Humor, and reflections relating to Hip surgery, which took place January 9, 2009′.

This didn’t really surprise me as Dad had completed a list a nine years earlier entitled, ’70 things to do now that I’m 70’.

Love it.

This is a guy who ‘retired’ at 65 and then decided to get some more training to become an ESL instructor even though he holds several degrees already.  He made the trek from Abbotsford to Douglas College for several months to make that happen.

I am fully expecting another 32 point reflections document and a list of ’80 things to do now that I’m 80′ when that birthday comes around in February.

I’ll leave you with this little video tonight.

My Mom and Dad have really shown us how to face adversity.  They haven’t panicked or asked why or become angry.  Instead they’ve made decisions with their family, acknowledged their belief in their strong faith and continued to use humor and warmth in their relationships.

You can see what happens when Dad received a ‘too fast kiss’ from Mom.  Poor Mom…we like to tease her!  Check out this little bit of fun shot just before we took Dad to the hospital for surgery number 1 last Friday.

Categories
Be The Best.

Chris’ stick gets game time in Saskatoon.

Some people who get the Chris Friesen lacrosse stick are going to use it as a display and hang their medals from it.  Cool.

Some people are going to just keep it as a way to remember Chris.  Cool.

Some people are going to actually tape it up and play a little lacrosse. Cool.

Blaine Boomer did just that on the weekend in Saskatoon scoring 2 hat tricks on the way to helping BC compete for the gold against Ontario.

You can see the Be The Best stick complete with Chris’ signature.

Blaine was kind enough to don his game worn jersey and pose with his Chris Friesen stick when the Boomers dropped by on their way home to the Loops yesterday.

Love the stick.  Love the way people are going to use it.  Love the fact that it will help raise so much money for Chris’ fund which exists to help challenge lacrosse playing SFU students to Be The Best and ultimately make the world a better place through their lacrosse experience and their chosen profession.

Jim Boomer with sons Blaine and Colton
Categories
Be The Best.

Grief Philosophy meets Greek Philosophy

I came across a few quotations of a Greek philosopher named Epictetus.  He lived from Ad 55-135.

How do I know this?  Cause Wikipedia says so and it never lies…

In any event, Epictetus was an interesting fellow.

Try these quotes on for size.

No great thing is created suddenly.

Or this:

It is your own convictions which compels you; that is, choice compels choice.

Or finally:

God hath entrusted me with myself.

All interesting on their own.

When you take them together, I think even more interesting.

Remember way back a blog post about my thoughts of humans being different from the animal kingdom on the basis of the opportunity to choose?

Epictetus seemed to have that figured out a few thousand years back.

God has entrusted us with choice.

We make choices.

No great thing is created suddenly.  It’s really a series of small choices.

What I really like about this thinking is that when I make a bad choice it’s the body of work that is really what will be looked at, not one decision.

I think that is what makes Chris’ life so powerful.

When you look at the body of work, it’s a few poorer choices (that so many of us have made during our teenage years and beyond) but many more amazingly powerful positive choices.

That’s the Be The Best philosophy at work!

It’s not about winning or losing.  It’s about Being The Best.  That means, learning from mistakes and making more choices.  Simple philosophy…a little harder in action, but that’s the goal!

Making choices and decisions with our God-given human ability and working towards that ‘great thing’ that is never created suddenly.

Have a great week.

Categories
Be The Best.

Fight Night

Beau Brooks, on left, prepares for debut match against Mat Andreatta.

Two teens from Brookswood Secondary are getting into a fight tonight.  This is the school both Max and Chris attended.

No, not behind the school.  No, not in the hallway.

This is an amateur boxing match where Beau Brooks is making his debut against Mat Andreatta.

Beau was a very close friend of Chris.

Beau joined our family this past New Years at Silver Star for a few days of skiing and snowboarding.

Beau, I know someone who is going to have a virtual ring side seat for this match and going to be going crazy for you!!

Having a dream of being in the ring, going after it, training hard and then getting your first fight along with the front page of the sports section in the paper…that’s Be The Best!

You’ll have a little something special in your corner tonight Beau.

For the full story in the Langley Advance article.

Where: Coast Hotel and Convention Centre – 20393 Fraser Hwy

When: Fri, Aug 27 starting at 7:30pm

Categories
Be The Best.

Boys and their toys.

I had a phone call today with Tom Golden from Maryland, USA.

You may remember that name from a blog post a week or so back titled, ‘For men only…yah right’.

It was a very interesting conversation as we explored topics about men and the grieving process and how men react differently to loss and honouring a loved one.

We are looking at doing an interview via Skype in the future so stay tuned!

There was one very interesting thing though that I couldn’t wait until that interview to share.

Tom again had some great insights into the male perspective on communication and how that relates to the grieving process.

He told me some amazing stories about sports stars and musicians…but I’ll keep you waiting for those and let him tell you.

I had told him about an example of ‘man communication’ that I relayed on this blog a few months back.  Going on a golf weekend with ‘the guys’ is usually about 90% having fun, letting your hair down (ok, you know that hurts seeing as my hairstyle is a Number 1 with a razor…) and DOING STUFF.  There is usually some (maybe 10%) sincere and deeper conversation, but not predetermined or predictable.

This was not news to Tom.  He stated that it is the ACTIVITY itself, the ‘shoulder to shoulder battle’, that bonds men.  That ties into everything from war to sports.  It was the next comment Tom made that really hit home.  He said that it is the joined activity (fighting an enemy, conquering a mountain, driving an ATV around) that combines some danger and challenge that provides a SAFE ZONE for men to talk to each other.  ie, if this guy has my back, I may be able to have a deeper conversation.

I found that very interesting.

You see in the vid attached a little fun with ATV’s courtesy of Drake with Wayne and Brad driving and yours truly filming while trying to hold on.

Thinking about this another way…four hours of golf to have a 2 minute serious conversation.

It’s all making much more sense now.  Maybe I will unretire from golf after all.

btw…I know it’s 5 months today that Chris passed away and we continue to thank you for remembering us in your thoughts and prayers.

Categories
Be The Best.

Those sunsets.

Those sunsets still get me.

I can’t see one without thinking about Chris.

Whether it’s the sun streaming through the clouds or punching out that silver lining or just glowing as it nears the mountains or horizon, I love it.

These pics were taken during an evening of friends and fun (thanks Melody and Drake!).

The sun will set.

The sun will rise.

And more decisions will be made.

Categories
Be The Best.

Chris scores a goal!

During last week’s Midget Lacrosse Nationals it reminded me of Chris at the 2007 Bantam Box Lacrosse Nationals in Ontario.

btw, Team BC lost in their bronze medal bid this past Friday night.  A tough way to end after that epic battle with Ontario to beat them in the tournament round.  From Ontario’s perspective, I’m betting they had a little payback on their minds and with BC having to play an extra game Friday morning, they took advantage.  All that being said, some great lacrosse by all and some great development as players and young men going through all of those emotions and experiences.

Back to 2007.

In order to help with the trip expenses to Ontario, the players were allowed to raise private funds to help make the trip a reality.  I recently uncovered the one-pager that described the program and gave potential donors an idea of who Chris was.

Here is how it opened:

Know many teenagers who write down their goals?

Know many teenagers who then break down their goals into actionable work plans and don’t quit until they’ve made it?

Meet Chris Friesen.

Along with excellent grades, this 14-year-old wrote down a goal of making the top-tier lacrosse team (A1) in Langley.

He served as team captain and the team completed an amazing season in first place heading into the Provincial championships in mid July.

In addition to league play, he was selected to Team Fraser Vally and then to Team BC.   He will be representing our province in Ontario this August.

Chris and buddy Brett celebrate BC’s bronze medal at Nationals in August 2007.
—————————

Specifically, I will always be thankful to my Wardell clients and friends at Mainland Machinery and Sitelines Architecture respectfully, for their major support of Chris during that program.

I’ll never forget Chris writing down that goal (a practice we’ve done as a family at New Years each year).

It was achievable, but a stretch goal for sure.

  1. Goal.
  2. Action plan.
  3. Don’t quit.

I got it son.

I’m listening.

BONUS:

There are over 300 photos on-line of that 2007 trip.  Click here to view.

Categories
Be The Best.

I got a blister…and I love it.

I always told that kid to use Odour Eaters or Febreeze or something...!

Ingrid and I went for a walk this morning.

I have some video and after the runaway success of ‘Therapy from Birds’ from a few months ago, I may put together the footage at some point!

In any event, this walk was a first with some new shoes. Not totally new mind you…just new to me.

You see they were Chris’ shoes.

I was going to get some new running shoes and it reminded me that for the past year I had been the recepient of a few ‘hand me ups’.

This is what happens when your kids get as big or bigger than you.

Chris always wore his shoes with tucked-in laces…except for lacrosse shoes.  So these sneakers still had the laces tied together with his knots but tucked into the shoe so they appeared untied.  Ingrid deftly untied the knots and we were off.

With any shoes, they’ll need to adjust to my feet.  That’s a bit of discomfort I don’t mind a bit, in fact I love it.

We miss that kid so very much.

I’ll remember him with every step.

Categories
Be The Best.

Team BC and Be The Best.

Team BC played Ontario on Thursday evening at the Midget Box Lacrosse Nationals.

Just another lacrosse game? Nope.

Firstly, Ontario is always favoured.  Consider this.  Based on population alone, Ontario (at 13 million+) could have three lacrosse teams for every one from BC (population 4.5 million).

Do I want some cheese with this ‘whine’?

The point is Ontario is always big, strong, tough, confident and ready to win.

The Iroquois had just beaten Alberta in the late afternoon game setting the stage for BC to get into serious medal contention and relegating Ontario to a bronze finish at best.  That alone provided a huge motivation factor for the Ontario team, but it was BC who seemed inspired.

BC hit hard, but weren’t stupid.

BC played strong defence which leads to goals.

BC scored when they had chances to score.

BC played like a team!

In the end, BC won the game 7-4, pulling away in the 3rd period.

FANTASTIC.  That’s Be The Best!

I think of Chris often when I watch.  He LOVED this game.  He loved the passion that it evoked.  He loved playing for his local team and club teams, but there was always something special about representing your Province.

As the boys get ready for a showdown at 11:30 this morning (Aug 20), I will be thinking of them.

Depending on the outcome of the late morning game against Alberta, BC will go for gold or bronze later tonight.

The bronze and gold medal games are at 6pm and 8pm.

Have a great day.

—–

2pm update! Team BC lost a close one with Alberta so they play Ontario for Bronze at 6pm.

Team BC player (Chris Nasato) in blue BC jersey with gold trim breaks away from the Red and Black Ontario squad.
Categories
Be The Best.

Chris took us to the movies today…literally.

No, I’m not crazy…(well sort of, but only part of the time).

Chris literally took us to the movies today?

How?

Back on March 22, just 3 days before he passed away, we went out for dinner as a family.

It was a Monday night and very unusual for us to go out on a weekday.  Like VERY unusual….maybe once a year if that.   But there we were, Max and Chris in a booth sitting across from Ingrid and I and we were laughing all night.

You’ve seen blog posts referencing that night before so I won’t get too detailed, but the occasion was Ingrid’s birthday and Chris had got her a movie gift card for $50 and the suggestion of a mom & son movie that coming weekend.

Fast forward four and a half months.  With a very hot day and some time off, it was a perfect chance to get to the movies along with Max.

Thanks Chris.

We laughed.

We had fun.

We thought about you.