Author: Randy Friesen

Randy Friesen is a business strategist, manager and educator based in Vancouver, BC. He is also a husband and father. He loves the creative process and is active in creating art and music.

Categories
Be The Best.

Don’t Moc the Bulldog.

There’s a kid that Chris played lacrosse with for years here  in Langley.

His name is Bulldog.  His given name is Brendan, but I didn’t know that for about 4 years.

He’s graduating from Brookswood Secondary this coming June.

His parents, Kevin and Nauja, are TIRELESS supporters of minor lacrosse.  Managing teams, arranging officials, getting parents to volunteer (THE toughest job in the league :)) and being there rain or shine to not only support their son, but support the team which many times included Chris and Bulldog playing on the same squad.

Kevin phoned me up on Saturday.

He talked to Ingrid first as I was driving and what I could overhear sounded good.  I parked and she handed the phone over.  Great news.  Brendan the Bulldog is the first Langley student that I’m aware of from this year’s crop to be accepted and signed (it’s called a National Letter of Intent) with an American College.

Florida Sourthern Mocs

He’ll be playing and studying in Southern Florida at Florida Southern College and the teams are called, the Moccasins, or the Mocs for short.

This is cool on many levels.  Firstly, it’s a BE THE BEST moment at the highest level.  To have a goal and to see it fulfilled like this is amazing.  GREAT JOB BULLDOG!

Secondly, just the drive to be in a position to take things to a new level is life changing.  That takes focus and is something we can all learn from.

That phone call was more emotional for me than expected as of course we think of Chris and the opportunities we would have been exploring at this time.  Would it be the US?  SFU? Other Canadian Universities?  We’ll never know, but there is a few things that we do know.

We know that when anyone has a Be The Best moment whether it’s a daily push-up routine or a college scholarship, it’s another victory and another way to honour Chris’ memory.

Be The Best has become much more than a phrase or slogan.  It’s a lifestyle and a way to continue to honour Chris as we journey forward.

Bulldog, this news is awesome.  We are extremely proud of your accomplishments and wish you every success on your collegiate journey at Florida Southern starting September 2011!!

Categories
Be The Best.

29,978 reasons to say thank you…wait, make that 30,000.

We had a few amazing emails this week.

The first was from Joyce, part of our Burnaby Mountain Selects lacrosse family.

She had the official total raised for Chris’ fund from the Chris Friesen Memorial Lacrosse shafts.

Ready? $8,261.54.  Are you kidding me?  What an incredible donation from all of those who purchased the sticks, the folks at Harrow and our amazing friends Joyce, Brent and Jeff at BMS.

The good news didn’t stop there.

Just today we received a note from Wanda at Simon Fraser with a new grand total, $29,978.45!!

Our goal was 20k.  When that was smashed, Ingrid boldly told Wanda the new goal was 30k.

When I saw that number this afternoon, the first thing I thought about was hoofing it up to SFU to put in another $25 to get us over the 30k mark.

I didn’t quite get there and then I read another email.

It was from Brent from BMS to Wanda at SFU, personally committing funds to break through the $30,000 mark.

Cool eh?

In the darkest of times we have seen such warmth, light and brightness.

We are humbled and grateful and proud and sad and happy and scared and excited.

I could add more, but you get the picture.

With a fund established at $30,000, we will be helping to change lives for a long long time..forever actually, as this fund will never stop giving money away each year and will continue to grow over time.

The first $1,000 award to a lacrosse playing SFU student will be proudly given in Chris’ name in January 2011 at the Maple Leaf Awards dinner.

What a night that will be.

Categories
Be The Best.

Tall Long Pour Americano with room.

Yep.  That’s my usual at ‘rhymes with Moonshucks’ coffee house.

If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend.  The long pour pulls more coffee out of the shot and provides that crema foam.  But enough about coffee…for now.

Last week, we took a nice long walk to one of the local coffee shops for this exact drink and my Better Half’s double tall latte.

In front of us in the line-up was a Dad pulling a big red plastic wagon with his two sons probably aged 4ish and 2ish waiting patiently.  Here’s how boys wait patiently.  A little pushing, a little poking, and a little talking (ok, grunting).

I watched them as Dad gathered the drinks and sat down, somehow managing to steer that wagon through the tables and chairs.  One of the boys slurped too quickly on his milk straw and sort jumped in surprise.  Dad laughed and soon they were all laughing and you could see this Dad drinking it all in…literally.  Coffee and time with his kids.

At first I felt a pang of sadness knowing that those times with Chris on this earth are complete.

But then an interesting thing happened.  I felt an amazing sense of happiness and privilege for each and every moment I had with my two sons as they grew up.  We had so many moments just like that Dad was having with his sons.  Goofy stuff.  Like the time I took an old half rotted wooden trampoline frame, cut out the bad parts and put the rest up in a tree as a tree fort.  Working around the yard together.  Trips, sports and just having a snack.

I am so very grateful.

That Dad didn’t know it…but he was having an experience that money can never buy.  His coffee may have had room too…room for a whole lot of memories that will last him a lifetime.

Categories
Be The Best.

Rev Jake – blessed are those that mourn.

I read this latest installment when Dad sent via email.

I listened to my Dad deliver it via Skype which you can see below.

I read it again and let it sink in.

Some great words here.  Thanks Mom for the inspiration on this one and Dad for putting this together.

Matthew 5: 4: “BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED.”

Leona recently cited these poignant words, spoken by Jesus, part of the Beatitudes, the series of blessings given men in response to their various conditions and life styles…

Why would you bless the mourners rather than those who seem to be celebrating life?

Jesus is obviously contrasting the passing pleasures of the present life with the eternal glories of the life to come. In Luke’s gospel Abraham wisely admonishes a rich man who has died, saying that in his previous life he had enjoyed good things, but both he and Lazarus were now experiencing a great reversal of fortunes.

One classic example of a MOURNER in the Bible is Job, his book reputedly the oldest book in the Bible. Job mourned the loss of his entire family (except his nagging wife), his livestock numbering in the thousands, his reputation, and eventually, his health. And he very much wondered about God Himself, and whether the Almighty even cared about him.

Was this man Job blessed in the end? The book of James records these pithy comments, James 5: 11, “You have heard of the perseverance of Job, and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful…”

When God revealed Himself to Job in the last chapters of the book, He did not even bother to answer Job’s questions directly, but rather made Job aware of the vastness of creation and its amazing creatures, thus making the point that the God who oversees such an incredible display of life would also be in control of the destiny of a single human being. Job got the point and confessed, “I know that You can do everything…I repent in dust and ashes”.

The work of mourning might be described as the labor of the soul to penetrate beyond the pain to catch a glimpse of the larger scheme of things, of which we are a small part; and yet to realize that we are an essential part of that bigger picture over which God presides as the Supreme Overseer, with His infinite wisdom and compassion.

Categories
Be The Best.

Concerted effort.

AC is at it again…and that’s a good thing…a very good thing!

Saturday, Nov 13 marks the 3rd of 3 consecutive weekend concerts.

The world style music blended with ancient melodies and true passion…it’s a great thing and it’s catching on!

Check out this link for a review and info on Saturday’s concert.

Excerpt:

We may sometimes think the Valley somewhat lacking in good live music – after all it’s not Commercial Drive, Vancouver. Indeed places to find good music  – original expressions of the varied kind are few and far between. Where are the musicians?

Categories
Be The Best.

We remember.

Remembrance Day 2010

I remember several years back as young men, Max and Chris standing with us at the Cenotaph on a rainy, cold Nov 11.

We didn’t force them.  They actually encouraged us to go as a family.

We did.

It was a moving experience and one that we repeated.

Being with a large group of people.  Silent expectation.  Silent tribute.

What a great way to honour our Canadian fallen.

Quite by happenchance (or maybe not) I saw Chris’ old bulletin board last night as we were moving some boxes around.  The board was full of push pins and a boxing picture and one other item.  A poppy.  But not just any poppy.  This was Chris’ poppy from last year.  He was always keen to remember, as was (and is) Max.

Max had spied the poppy too, and proudly wore last night.  Being who I am I forced him to pose for a quick pic which you see here.

To all our fellow Canadians remembering their sons and daughters lost in service to our country, we pause today to say THANK YOU.

Your service to our country and the world is truly a Be The Best inspiration to us all.

Categories
Be The Best.

Alexa and the power of love.

If you live in the Vancouver area you’ve heard the story of Alexa Middalaer, the 4 year old who died in May 2008 after being struck by a vehicle driven by a driver who had been drinking.  Alex and her aunt were feeding a horse at the side of the road. (source: Province Newspaper page A4, Tues, Nov 9, 2010)

This post is not about blame, courts or sentencing issues.

It’s about the parents of Alexa.

You may have seen Laurel, Alexa’s Mom, and Michael, Alexa’s Dad in the media over the past two years.  They have honoured their daughter by giving and creating.  If you haven’t been there before, check the family’s website.  It’s an amazing tribute and they have given others (like us) an example of how to be proactive.

I’ve wondered a few times how they could be so strong.

Their quotes in the Province today shows that incredible ‘polar balance’ of positive and negative emotion and energy that pumps through your body 24-7 after your lives change forever.

“‘In truth, I stand before you today an inherently broken and gutted soul.” – Alexa’s Dad Michael

“Now we are merely shells of what we were before.” – Alexa’s Mom Laurel

Powerful words from such strong people.

But wait.  Laurel also states, “God, do I miss her. But I live each day by choice. I have to.”

I read that sentence and almost dumped my bowl of corn flakes…(and almond milk).

We are living each day by choice too.

The Middelaers for their beautiful Alexa.

The Friesens for their amazing Chris.

And thousands more for their loved ones.

As we head towards Remembrance Day, we stand with all those Canadian families who have lost loved ones in the service of our amazing country or illness or tragedy.

And then we choose to live on in their memories using their passion to fuel us, one day at a time…one decision at a time.

Categories
Be The Best.

A November to Movember.

Huh?

Movember is a fund raising effort for the fight against and cure for prostate cancer.

the clean shave...nov 1.

It’s also a great way to get people involved and create a sense of brotherhood.  The basics are pretty basic.  You start the month of November by cleanly shaving your face.  Mine had a goatee for about 8 years we’re thinking.

Then you start growing your moustache.  You can use a variety of shapes, but the ‘sections’ can’t be joined…ie you can’t grow a beard.  I’m going for a moustache and soul patch look.  Here’s what it looks like tonight, 7 days in and last week, the day of the clean shave.

Given what my Dad is going through with colon cancer, I thought this was close enough.  In essence, his close shave and current fight with cancer and my Mom’s past close shaves and current battle with leukemia could certainly inspire a little close shave of my own.

nov 8

For a little fun and more info, check our team page as a bunch of great BCIT’ers are in on this.  Dave Pinton is our fearless captain and has even put together a video.  You can watch and vote here.

I will reveal a weekly moustache view as we approach the end of the month and the end of Movember…cause I know you would really appreciate that.  I know Ingrid does…(not)!

The other reason I am happy to be involved is the sense of brotherhood that occurs when a bunch of guys do stupid things together.  Yup, that’s what guys do.  My work gang has been incredibly gracious to me (and Ingrid) over the past 7 months and it’s great to simply be part of the crew.

Categories
Be The Best.

y i can c clearly now…

Some letters i like a little more than others these days.

y.

don’t like that one.  it still comes around and you still have to deal with it.  ‘why’ did this happen.  why is chris gone. y.

i and c.  those ones i like a little better.  in fact ‘eye’ and ‘see’ are the perfect letters.

what i think about with those letters is chris’ beautiful eyes and how they are helping someone to see more clearly now.  we’ll never meet that person, but it’s a wonderful thing to know.

while looking for something else, i had stumbled across the little green ribbons and cards that they sent to us with the letter explaining how chris was giving the gift of sight to someone here in bc months back.

i and c.  like those.

y.  not so much.

as i’ve stated in a previous post, the ‘why’ questions can come and visit, but don’t invite them in for dinner or to stay too long.  nothing is gained there.  we continue to move forward step by step and decision by decision with chris’ passion helping to fuel our journey.  i know many of chris’ friends ask y and continue to be confused.  that’s totally ok.  that’s more than ok.  one of the most amazing things in life i think is getting comfortable with the fact that we can’t answer all the questions.  saying ‘i don’t know’ is ok for this test!  (no…this does not give you an excuse for not studying!)

i spoke to someone this week who had lost someone very dear and close to them a few years back.  the experiential advice was clear and simple.  it will get a little easier.  there may not be answers, but there will be new paths and a continued journey that has promise and hope.

y? don’t know.

i’s that c.  that i know….and it’s awesome.

www.transplant.ca

Categories
Be The Best.

I don’t have time…

The best time to plant a tree is yesterday…the second best time is today.

I totally don’t have time to write this blog post, but I can’t go three days without posting!

I don’t know how many times in the past 7 months I have said to myself, I don’t have time to do these push-ups today.  Too rushed, too late, etc.  For the majority of the times I’ve thought that, the next step has been to get down on the floor and start pushing up!

In the time I could take to talk myself out of them, I’ve completed my 50 and I’m on my way.  I guess tonight’s blog is the same.  Crazy week, computer issues, etc.

Stop whining and start writing!

Yesterday was a very good day and a very bittersweet day.  We had a wonderful Big Info session at BCIT where 2900 people were on campus exploring their educational and career options.  A fantastic success.  The bittersweet part was seeing so many parents and their sons there.  Of course I thought of Chris 2900 times as I helped people with their questions.  I thought of his career path, goals and desires.  As it turned out, Max came down for the event and it was excellent to see him and have him exploring some longer term goals.  Very cool.

Happy.  Sad.  Good.  Bad.  Quite the recipe.

But in the end, the fulfillment of seeing the light go on with students is what makes this career so rewarding.  We will remind ourselves that Chris’ educational legacy at Simon Fraser University will help propel students to achieve their dreams every year starting this coming January…and that will go on forever.

I choose to end this discussion on that high note tonight!