Tag: grief

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Be The Best.

Clouds

I’ve had several conversations about clouds in the past months.

Some with others, some with myself.

I can’t look at the sky without thinking about Chris and I can’t look at clouds without thinking of silver linings on the most darkest of skies.

We all have our journeys…and many times life does not go in a straight line.

For those experiencing loss of any kind, my encouragement is to look up at the sky.  It may seem dark, but if you look closely, you may also see a silver lining.

Plus, I needed to work these pictures into a blog post of a near sunset sky earlier this year in BC’s amazing Interior…!

Have a great day.

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Be The Best.

Lions, Eskimos and Fathers…V2

I wrote a post in June 2010 after Max took me to the opening of Empire Field for a BC Lions football game vs the Edmonton Eskimos.  Here’s a link to that story.

Fast forward 16 months and we did it again.

Not Empire, but we went to the opening of the new BC Place on Friday with 50,000 of our closest friends and saw those same BC Lions beat the Eskimos in a great match at a fantastic new facility.

New building aside, the best aspect of the evening was another experience shared and added to the memory banks for life.

Those are gold and worth every cent of admission…and then some.  (just don’t tell the Lions that…I don’t want them to raise their ticket prices)

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Be The Best.

Maxing out a Sprint Triathlon

My personal lexicon was increased by a new phrase just a few weeks ago.

Sprint Triathlon.

I think that’s basically an oxymoron to start with.

Ok young readers.  This is probably the highest number of big words used in the opening of this blog ever…but in celebration of back to school just 4 weeks away, we’ll continue.

A sprint triathlon is a swim, bike and running race…except the distances are shorter than a full length event.

These are perfect events for those wanting a triathlon experience and are trying something new or simply want a shorter distance.

Don’t be fooled.  This is still an extreme sport!  750m in the pool.  That is a lot of lengths.  18k on the bike.  I get tired driving that far and usually would require 2 Starbucks stops.  5k running after all that? Yah right.

So…my son Max had a goal.  He was going to do this thing.  The Walnut Grove Triathlon.

Cool.  Except he didn’t really have a bike, didn’t have any specific training and didn’t know a soul who was going in this event.

I’m super proud of the kid.  He approached this like he was trying something new and what he didn’t know wasn’t going to stop him from trying. For example, he knew he didn’t have all the specialized gear but that didn’t get in his way.  He finished in 90 minutes exactly and was right in the middle of the pack.  That is an incredible result for trying an event for the first time without coaching or training with a team or the superior clothing and equipment of most racers.

It’s really Be The Best principle personified.

What I mean by that is Be The Best is about so much more than winning.  It’s about competing.  It’s about trying something new.  It’s about not letting the fear of the unknown get in your way.

IT’S ABOUT NOT KNOWING EXACTLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO REACH A GOAL, BUT SETTING THE GOAL AND THEN STARTING FORWARD ANYWAYS!

Nice job Max.  We are very proud of ya!!

Here’s a little video proof.  Note: (Time clock on picture is not official for each racer because of a graduated start in the pool for the swim portion of the race. Max’s official time was 1:30:00 on the nose)

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Be The Best.

Ice Cream Cake

Ice cream cake.  Chris loved it.

It was his one food indulgence, but only then it was reserved for birthdays.

I heard the term the other day and it stopped me in my tracks with the clicker frozen on the TV news.

Surrey parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kaulius, were helping out the RCMP on a road check campaign specifically targeting drinking and driving.

Their own daughter was killed in May of 2011 by a drunk driver (suspected and in the courts).

That is a sad enough story and one that should cause us all pause in this summer season.

The fact that these parents were out there trying to raise awareness just months into their journey was amazing enough.

I felt the pain however when the Dad mentioned that they still had their daughter Kassandra’s ice cream birthday cake in the freezer, these months later.  His voice broke as he told how they just couldn’t part with it yet.  They had planned to celebrate but instead had a funeral.

It is something that you must know to know if that makes any sense.

I felt the pain instantly for this family as they are just at the beginning of the journey.  I salute all they are doing in memory of their daughter and the impact of her legacy.

As I reflect on our journey it is now been almost 16 months.

This past June has been one of the toughest so far.

The knowledge of a high-school graduation that didn’t happen.

The knowledge of a college education and lacrosse scholarships that we were not able to see finalized.

All of that was extremely painful.

However…I love the article written in the Langley times about Kassandra Kaulius and her family.  Turning Grief into Action.  THAT is what it’s all about.  Action for your loved one of course.  But I believe, action for yourself as well.  Where are you going to go?  What are you going to do?  How are you going to keep on living a life that will positively affect others?

Giving is a part of Grieving.  Remember that one?

There have been many days where I’ve add to sip some of my own medicine from blogs of the past year and more.

That’s a good tonic.

Have a great week!

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Be The Best.

Father’s Day – the lighter side

Watch as I totally dominate Max in both cycling and then basketball.

(and if you believe that…)

Finally pieced a few bits of vid together from a great afternoon with the kid.

Of course we reminisced and laughed about the times Chris would join us on the bball court at home.  Chris played basketball like he was playing lacrosse, complete with full-on body checks and intense (if not mostly illegal) defence.

After that I showed Max a thing or two about shooting and took him to the hoop a few more times before we biked home.  (cough)

Although not on the vid, I had the chance to play ping pong with my Dad just a few days after Father’s Day itself.

We had a great time.  I’m trying to remember the score, but I just can’t right now….

(When you’re 80 year old Dad beats you in ping pong after recovering from a 2 month hospital stay and 4 surgeries…you’d try to forget the score too…!)

Hey, this sports blog post ain’t going too well for me today.

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Be The Best.

Power of Focus

I have a book in my collection that I’ve lent out and replaced probably 5 times and referred to hundreds of people since I first read it years back.

The core message is that with some concentration on the small things, the big things will take shape.  In other words, small habits make a big difference in long term performance.

From the Amazon book review: At the outset, the book identifies the three most important fundamentals for consistent success: developing unusual clarity; understanding that habits determine your future; and using a “no exceptions policy” approach to focus on what you want.

That book rests beside one of Chris’ provincial lacrosse medals.

The kid was relentless in his positive habits in pursuit of his goal.  Eating right. Push-ups. Cardio. Shooting practice.

It was all part of Being the Best.

I asked him once why at the age of 14 he stopped eating all junk food.  He said that he simply thought about the consequences of eating the food and decided that the payback wasn’t worth it.

That developed into long term positive eating habits that shaped his physique and mental attitude going into competition.

Power of Focus.  If you haven’t read it, put it on your summer reading list!

Have a great week.

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Be The Best.

Skiing in June?

A closeup of the Grouse Mountain skyride
Image via Wikipedia

Max heard Grouse Mountain was still open for skiing and boarding.

Really?

In June?

Max came up with the crazy plan of hitting the slopes on his birthday (or 1 day before)…something never before attempted.

Sure enough, with an enormous base, Grouse is aiming to remain open on weekends till July 1.  Judging by the snow conditions today, they’ll be pushing it, but skiing on local mountains in June?  Are you kidding me?  What an experience.

So with my Canadian Hockey jersey given to me by Chris on the Christmas just before the Olympics, I joined Max and Kiera as we avoided a few rocks and a bunch of grass and had a great day.

Of course we had to shoot a little vid for proof!

We ended the day with dinner at the beach.

Only in Vancouver!

Happy 20th Max.  Hopefully the Nux will bring home the Cup for your birthday tomorrow.

I know your brother gives you the biggest virtual hug possible…and maybe a punch or two on the arm…you are brothers after all.

 

 

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Be The Best.

Getting the exposure right.

We’re spending more time at Chris’ wall than we thought we might.

We know his spirit is with us every day and everywhere, but there is something about that place.

We love the trees.

Something about these silent, magnificent soldiers that don’t say much, but quietly breathe oxygen into the atmosphere as the wind brushes through.

They stand guard through sun, wind, snow and rain.

I finally brought my decent camera and have a few photos here.

If you ever go, we want you to think about Chris’ amazing life, his passion and commitment to Being the Best and as you reflect…think about how you’ll be the best too.

It’s a never-ending challenge in the best of ways!

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Be The Best.

Mom’s Day v2 – a different perspective

After I wrote the Mom’s Day blog on Sunday, we headed out for an afternoon White Rock beach walk…but not before a stop at Chris’ wall.

We’ve been there many times by now and although there were no services going on at the time, it was like rush hour at the facility.

At first we didn’t get it and then it became incredibly obvious.  Families had come out to remember their Moms and Grandmas.  Fresh flowers were everywhere.  If it wasn’t a cemetery I would say it was beautiful.

Actually…I take that last comment back.  It was beautiful.  The beauty was not the marking of death and passing, but rather the symbol of remembrance and respect.  I can only imagine, but as people stood by the markers of their loved ones, they were thinking about how that person had affected their own lives and how they would live on to honour and respect that memory.

As we were leaving, a man in his 40’s we guess came with his aging Dad (their physical resemblance was uncanny).  They approached the wall and we didn’t see where they went, but we’re pretty sure it was to acknowledge a wife and mother.

Mother’s Day in the cemetery.  Hadn’t really thought of it before.  As sad as it could be, it was also pretty amazing to see the influence these women had on their families in some cases generations later.

That’s a pretty special legacy.

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Be The Best.

Sunsets in a different place.

You know I love sunrises and especially sunsets.

This is a bit of a different one.  This is taken with a lousy Blackberry phone, but I loved the sun screaming across the field and shining on a wall.

The field is a cemetery and the wall is Chris’ wall.  Dogwood #41.

Every time we go to the cemetery it is a special moment for lack of a better word.

We get that Chris’ spirit doesn’t live there.

But that being said, it’s becoming a very cool place to connect with Chris and all the love, emotions, hopes, desires, proud moments, sad moments, lost future, and hope of a future to come.

Here’s a little peek at that world.

View from Chris' wall looking out across the cemetery field at the setting sun.

View of Chris' wall with his white rose (from his Mom) and paper marker as we await his brass name plate. Love the sun hitting the wall in the latter part of the day.