We were left with another decision a couple of weeks ago. Do we put out three stockings or four?
We decided on four and have also decided that we will put out four stockings for as many Christmases we have in our future. That’s the way it’s gonna be!
The BC Lottery Corp has run a little campaign this season encouraging people to not give lottery tickets as gifts to underage (under 19) children. Oops. That’s been a family tradition for as many years as I can remember.
You know, a family that gambles together stays together.
Editorial comment: The preceding sentence was mild sarcastic humour. We don’t have a gambling problem. We could quit any time…we just don’t want to right now.
Serious editorial comment: I know gambling is a serious issue. Just stick with me for this piece.
Anyhoo…each Christmas, ‘Santa’ would throw in a few scratch and wins into the stockings. It was a little bit of fun and became this tradition.
I was at the grocery store a few days before Christmas and bought 3 sets of scratch and wins. It felt wrong, so I added a fourth. They went in Chris’ stocking along with some m&m’s and a lacrosse magazine.
Now, a great alternate ending to this blog would be to say those fourth set of tickets won $4 million dollars and we added to Chris’ fund etc etc…but the ending is mainly similar to the real life story of the lottery business. 99% of tickets lose…just don’t talk about that part.
We had fun scratching the tickets and ‘won’ back about 80% of the ‘investment’ into the tickets.
I call that an entertainment expense…and yes, the ‘proceeds’ will go to Chris’ fund.
Those stockings have been with us a long time. Ingrid made them when the boys were very young. Hers has the lace bit on top to set it apart. All of them have our names on them, Christian, Mackenzie, Mommy and Daddy.
That’s how long they’ve been in our family and as I walked by them every day for the past weeks I was so happy that there were four.
He’s right on target to visit British Columbia in the next few hours!
Ethan reminded me that we had forgotten to make name cards for the places at the table. I asked if he could handle it and this sharp Grade 2’er took charge and wrote all the names down. He then showed me the tag he had made for Chris. Of course Chris needed a tag too. I told him to add it to my plate. It was very cool.
I mentioned at Thanksgiving that we didn’t set an extra place for Chris, but rather toasted him and acknowledged that he was with us always. Tonight we did the same and raised our glasses and told Chris we loved him.
Then Ethan told some reindeer jokes.
Hey, did you know what the wettest animal in the world is? Duh. Raindeer.
That’s how it goes.
I love the eyes of a child. Poignant. Pure. Powerful…and just plain Funny.
As much as we look ahead and live for tomorrow, there are still times to reflect on history.
I stumbled across some pictures from Chris and the Bantam Box Lacrosse squad from BC as they represented the Province so admirably in August of 2007.
I had written updates for the BC Lacrosse magazine and this was my final piece summarizing the tournament.
In that final game Chris played the game of his life to that point, being a physical presence that helped BC clinch the Bronze medal in a heavyweight showdown with Alberta. (ok, as heavyweight as 14 year olds can be…which is actually quite heavy…!)
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Chris with good bud Brett Dobray
The journey for the Bantam BC boys began months ago. There were regional selection camps. There was the Team BC final selection camp. For those chosen to represent BC, a number of weekends were spent training for the national championships.
The 22 lacrosse players, along with coaches and entourage, jetted out of Vancouver on Thursday, August 2. After spending 2 days in Peterborough, Ontario for a conditioning camp, the team traveled to the dorms at Durham College in Oshawa, which would be home for the next week.
On Sunday, August 5th, the highlight of the day was the opening ceremonies at the Iroquois Park Sports Centre, touted as Canada’s largest municipal sports centre.
The teams were cheered on by enthusiastic supporters as they entered the arena. Team BC looked strongly West Coast in their multi-blue and gold jerseys proudly showing the mountains and a west coast ‘feel’.
Chris with Mr. Will VH
It felt like every team would be immediately ready to set up the nets and get playing, but there was one more night to go.
On Monday morning, seeing the Team BC players hit the floor in the warm-up of game one against Manitoba produced chills. “Those jerseys look awesome”, whispered one onlooker from an opposing team to his buddy. His friend couldn’t say anything. They were. And as good as the uniforms looked, Bantam Team BC looked even better in them. This was the first official game they had played together and the game ended with a score of 16-1 for the BC crew.
Team BC played Saskatchewan Monday afternoon which was a hard hitting matinee with both teams making their opponents pay the price to get to the net. Team BC finished the game strong with a final score of 10-2.
With two solid first-day games under their collective belts, rest was the top priority post-game, with a major test against Ontario on Tuesday.
Monday’s muggy weather made the arenas the equivalent of being in a steam room with a parka on and you could add an additional 10 degrees on the floor itself. The event staff could not operate the exhaust fans either, explaining that by doing so the draw of air into the building would produce dangerous slippery floor conditions because of the moist, humid conditions outside.
Tuesday’s conditions improved somewhat in the morning with overcast skies and less humidity allowing the exhaust fans to run.
Team Ontario plays big and they came out hitting and highly aggressive. Team BC took the first period to adjust and came back hard in the second with an exceptional effort but the spirited affair ended with a 5-2 loss for BC.
Team Ontario looked strong, but Team BC was immediately hungry to play again. They didn’t have long to wait as Nova Scotia was the challenger in the 6:30pm game. Team BC jumped to an early lead and dominated the run of the play. The final score was BC 10 and Nova Scotia 2.
Wednesday was a rest day.
Thursday’s results were not what Team BC would have wanted. The morning affair featured a game against a rough and tumble brand of lacrosse from Alberta. The Bantams got behind early and could never completely recover. The game ended in an all-out frenzy with Team BC running out of time to mount a full comeback.
Following a brief lunch break, it was ‘game-on’ with Iroquois Nation. A win in this game meant advancing to the 2 vs. 3 playoff game on Friday with a chance to proceed to the gold medal game on Saturday. A loss in the game would mean a bittersweet day off on Friday with a run at the bronze medal.
Chris gets ready to take on all comers in that familiar defensive stance.
The Iroquois Bantams showed BC and every fan in attendance a little thing or two about lacrosse on Thursday evening. Their passing was quick and rhythmic; almost mesmerizing. Their shooting was beautifully wicked. It was as if the Iroquois were stating, “Don’t forget who invented this game.” The symphony of drive, desire, and stick skills mixed with quiet aggression and flawless execution culminated in a 9-1 win for the Iroquois.
This is not to say that Team BC didn’t show up. They did. They worked hard and at times their hard work was misinterpreted into penalty minutes that ended up putting them in multiple odd man situations.
Following the unexpected day off on Friday, the Bantam squad had one thing and one thing only in their sites on Saturday. The Bronze Medal.
They hit. They ran. They shot. They never gave up. If they wanted to have an excuse to fold their tents, they had one in the first period after out-chancing Alberta but finding themselves down by a couple of goals.
In a battle against a team that plays a mean and physical brand of lacrosse you have to play hard and you have to play smart. Team BC executed their game plan perfectly.
Building on a 2nd period attack that just wouldn’t quit, goals were scored by Wesley Berg, Drew Millikin, Mason Pynn, Steve Ferdinandi and Michael Henry. The final score was Team BC 8 and Alberta 4.
The boy’s elation was palatable. Parents and supporters hugged in the stands. The coaches high-fived each other as the players swarmed their goalie, Ryley Brown, in an embrace of champions.
“I’m glad we got things done”, said a proud Coach Sean Beasley. Getting things done was not an easy task. This team could have easily been very down after losing to Alberta and Team Iroquois on Thursday, but they rallied and came to work on Saturday like a team possessed.
With the Bronze Medals proudly around their necks, the players traded gear with new friends who had been foes and looked forward to the next time they could play for their Province in a National Championship.
The Bantam squad from BC did their province proud and they will inevitably bring back experiences, emotions and skill that will build their club teams and ultimately continue to build the beautiful game of lacrosse.
Ok, maybe not roller derby, but he and Mom found roller skates for the whole family and turned the basement into a roller zone…complete with a ramp!
It was great fun.
We were at some friends recently and their two daughters put on several skits, songs and dance routines throughout the evening. We loved it.
As the rush of Christmas week comes surging on us, I love to think of these simple, fun family times and the memories they create.
I’ve heard of families heading for ski hills and others heading to warm beaches over the next week.
Whatever you do, I wish you a lifetime of great memories.
For us, we will be creating new ones and also dipping into our bank of memories.
We are thankful every day for the deposits we’ve made through trips, adventures, and just crazy stuff around the house…just like my Dad did with roller skates in the basement!
Dad (Rev. Jake), Grace, Val, Randy and Cathy (AC).
I wrote a few lines the other day and just couldn’t hit the ‘publish’ button.
The thoughts were plenty deep and plenty real, but like a good wine, they have now aged an appropriate time and I can provide some greater context.
This Christmas season is not the easiest as you can imagine.
Christmas is all about family, food, traditions.
Of course that invokes memories. That’s not a bad thing…not at all. It’s just that this being our first Christmas without Chris, really feels weird. You shouldn’t take the Chris out of Christmas right? (yes, this is a a very bad pun at an inappropriate time…but that’s how we roll in this family!)
I wrote these four lines the other day. They just sort of blurted out of my head.
How broken is my heart?
How deep is my love.
How deep is my love?
How broken is my heart.
One of the things I’ve realized is that the pain we feel, and so many of you feel too, is simply symbolic of the love we had and have for Chris. You CANNOT have a broken heart if you had no love. Plain and simple.
For some of you, you never had a chance to meet this kid in person.
He was amazing. He would light up a room when we walked/bounced/stormed in!
His spirit now lights up many hearts and rooms.
We get through these times by making decisions, giving, and even taking shots in the dark.
If you’ve read this blog before, all of the above will make sense. If you haven’t…you’ve got some work to do!
That’s the long. Here’s the short.
I had pieces of two batches of shortbread cookies last night.
Both were unbelievable. Those of you who know me know I don’t eat wheat so these were rice flour shortbread cookies. They are hard to find and hard to make.
Yet two different people went out of their way in a gesture of kindness to show us that they were thinking of us at Christmas.
I’m telling you, we are again humbled by these act of kindness. They not only help us through this journey, but it burns in my mind the incredible positive impact that the action of giving can produce.
I put a few bucks into a Salvation Army kettle last night like so many us have done on this and every other holiday season. This time though I had more of a sense than ever about how any act, even one so small, can make an impact.
You’ve heard the other name for the town…Lost Wages.
What better place to take a bunch of underage kids for a lacrosse tournament! Joking aside, the supervision for Burnaby Mountain Selects is always awesome and last time I checked, the fields weren’t right on the strip.
Guess what. One of the squads…the U12 (so these are young men 12 years of age and under) won their entire division securing the victory with a come from behind win just hours ago.
That is fantastic and for all the teams, win or lose on the scoreboard, these tournaments just make you better. The competition makes you stronger. It’s all good. Everyone wins.
And now for the completely unexpected.
The winners of this tournie get a cheque for $250. I can think of a lot of things a team could buy. All deserved. Dinner, snacks, souvenirs, lacrosse gear, odor-be-gone for lacrosse bags, etc 🙂
Guess what they just did?
Donated the whole thing to Chris’ fund.
Here’s the pic to prove it just an hour or so ago. (see link below)
I’ve talked a lot about giving and grieving and how those go together. This gift to us is so amazing beyond any dollar amount. What an amazing gift.
THANK YOU boys. THANK YOU Joyce, Brent and Jeff and the entire BMS gang.
Be The Best!
We are humbled, proud and grateful.
I think Chris might just bodycheck someone up in heaven tonight in your honour…if that’s allowed…wait, I’ll check with Rev. Jake (Chris’ Grandpa) cause I’m pretty sure there’s a lacrosse section up there! In fact I know there is…I just wasn’t sure on the bodychecking rule…
In the last few years, we’ve been getting a bit more into wine and learning about this art that has been around for thousands of years. There are few things better than a wine tour of the South Okanagan with friends and picnic baskets in hand looking out over vast vineyards, hills and lakes. Conversation, wine, gluten free crackers….perfect!
A Shiraz or Sirah is a red wine made quite popular by the good folks in Australia. I found a Petite Sirah called Shot in the Dark.
Interesting name. When I read the back label, it got more interesting.
I’ve often said you can learn things from anyone or anything. Why should a wine bottle be any different!
Here’s what it said.
Life has its ups and downs.
It can be both brutal and beautiful.
You can hole yourself away to avoid life’s pain, but then the beauty seldom finds it’s way in.
It’s only when you attempt to go where you cannot go, or do what you cannot do, that you can achieve what you are truly capable of doing.
Sure, you might tumble. You might fall. So what?
Take a chance. Go way out on the limb. Dare to try – even if it’s just a shot in the dark.
I love that line, You can hole yourself away to avoid life’s pain, but then the beauty seldom finds it’s way in.
Living through our pain and still participating in events…like getting a Christmas tree…is a good example of this.
Anyhow, given this insight from the wine bottle, I may have to plan other trip to the South Okanagan…or maybe Australia…for research and learning purposes of course.
Chris, in red, takes on fellow BMSer in practice session.
Late yesterday afternoon we left BCIT and headed up the hill to Simon Fraser University.
We’ve done that drive many times. Most of those times were to drop Chris and his fellow Burnaby Mountain Selects lax dudes off for a practice. Then they would beat each other with sticks and run like crazy people and throw a hard rubber ball as intensely as they could at even crazier dudes who were the goalies! Chris loved it.
Look at these pics from Aug 2009. This was actually a practice down in New West, but these are all BMS players in a scrimmage. Chris is red #32. I love the picture where you can see him smiling through his mouth guard. He loved playing defense. I spoke to some of his teammates who said Chris would hurt you in practice and it was excellent, cause it made you better. You knew he was giving 100% all the time…practice, scrimmage or championship game.
I just LOVE that smile.
Anyways, yesterday wasn’t a practice.
We were heading up to SFU to deliver the cheque that will be presented to the first receipient of the Chris Friesen Memorial Award in January 2011. Wanda from the foundation at SFU met us and she has become a wonderful part of all the good that is happening and will continue to happen in Chris’ name. With the fund over $30,000 and the first gift in place, the fund is now fully operational and will provide the first official payout based on interest earned from the fund in January 2012. We cannot think about the fund or the legacy from the fund without thinking about everyone who contributed directly and indirectly to the fund and our family with love and care over the past 8 months.
That’s the cheque…the coat was today.
Our entrepreneurial marketing students at BCIT were having a fund raiser today with a silent auction and also having a coat drive. Ingrid had a used coat and we also had one from Chris. The thought of his coat keeping someone warm this winter makes us feel good, even though the very simple act of giving away his coat this afternoon was not the easiest thing that I’ve ever done.
Chris didn’t play football of course, he played lacrosse but that didn’t matter.
Chris had a poster of Adrian Peterson in his room with Be The Best on it that he had made himself downloading the image off the web.
Cooking up a little brunch today, the football game was on in the background and Mr. Favre and the Vikings were taking on the Washington Redskins. Just watching Adrian Peterson run the ball I knew more than ever before why Chris admired this guy so much. He’s not the biggest player at just over 6ft, but WOW is he powerful.
But physical power aside, I think it’s his mental toughness and desire that Chris loved so much. Quoting from Wikipedia, Peterson stated upon being drafted by the Vikings, “I’m a player who is coming in with the determination to turn a team around. I want to help my team get to the playoffs, win…and run wild. I want to bring people to the stands. I want people to come to the game to see what I can do next. Things like that can change the whole attitude of an organization. I want to win.”
Hmmm….”I want to win”. Heard that before? Those were Chris’ exact words on his college recruitment video.
This morning Peterson turned several 3 yard runs into 9 and 10 yard runs. He was simply unbelievable. He fought of tackles like a man possessed.
When he drove for a touchdown he looked up and pointed to the skies.
I know he doesn’t know Chris, but I thought, there’s one for you kid. I know Chris would be cheering him on from his lofty box seats.
The game is still in progress and who knows how it will end. The Vikings season isn’t that great (UNDERSTATEMENT!), and I’ll leave the circus surrounding Brett Favre to legitimate NFL commentators.
For me, this game was all about Adrian Peterson.
I just love desire of Adrian Peterson.
I love the fight of Adrian Peterson.
I love the power of Adrian Peterson.
I love the fact that although the season is not going well, the effort is always BE THE BEST!
Even with an injured ankle, you can sense the desire as the guy is like a thoroughbred horse in the starting gates who can just smell the battle and race before him and wants nothing more than to be unleashed.
It reminds me of another athlete I know very well.
Chris in Florida 2008 schooling a much larger opponent!
There’s a kid that Chris played lacrosse with for years here in Langley.
His name is Bulldog. His given name is Brendan, but I didn’t know that for about 4 years.
He’s graduating from Brookswood Secondary this coming June.
His parents, Kevin and Nauja, are TIRELESS supporters of minor lacrosse. Managing teams, arranging officials, getting parents to volunteer (THE toughest job in the league :)) and being there rain or shine to not only support their son, but support the team which many times included Chris and Bulldog playing on the same squad.
Kevin phoned me up on Saturday.
He talked to Ingrid first as I was driving and what I could overhear sounded good. I parked and she handed the phone over. Great news. Brendan the Bulldog is the first Langley student that I’m aware of from this year’s crop to be accepted and signed (it’s called a National Letter of Intent) with an American College.
Florida Sourthern Mocs
He’ll be playing and studying in Southern Florida at Florida Southern College and the teams are called, the Moccasins, or the Mocs for short.
This is cool on many levels. Firstly, it’s a BE THE BEST moment at the highest level. To have a goal and to see it fulfilled like this is amazing. GREAT JOB BULLDOG!
Secondly, just the drive to be in a position to take things to a new level is life changing. That takes focus and is something we can all learn from.
That phone call was more emotional for me than expected as of course we think of Chris and the opportunities we would have been exploring at this time. Would it be the US? SFU? Other Canadian Universities? We’ll never know, but there is a few things that we do know.
We know that when anyone has a Be The Best moment whether it’s a daily push-up routine or a college scholarship, it’s another victory and another way to honour Chris’ memory.
Be The Best has become much more than a phrase or slogan. It’s a lifestyle and a way to continue to honour Chris as we journey forward.
Bulldog, this news is awesome. We are extremely proud of your accomplishments and wish you every success on your collegiate journey at Florida Southern starting September 2011!!
They went in Chris’ stocking along with some m&m’s and a lacrosse magazine.
Be The Best. 