Tag: loss

Categories
Christian Friesen

From Be The Worst, to Be The Best!

Chris’ buds were battling it out on the lacrosse floor this weekend.

Of course they were!  The first weekend of real summer weather and all the lacrosse guys are inside in a sweaty arena.  As soon as the rain starts to fall, they’ll be back outside for field lacrosse.  And that’s how it goes!

Langley has battled to become a member of the lacrosse elite and this weekend having their Intermediate A (ages 17-18) team challenging for a provincial medal was a very good thing.

Fast forward.  After an excellent tournament, the Thunder are in the Bronze medal game.  They lose, they get nothing.  Near the beginning of the game the Richmond team calls for an equipment check on one of Langley’s top players, James Rahe.  They toss him out of the game for illegal equipment.  Guess what was illegal?  He was wearing one of Chris’ memorial wristbands!!

I simply couldn’t write this blog yesterday.

The words would have been much sharper.

At this point I’m not going to spend too much time on the decision, who made it and what their motivation was.   That call took a star player off the floor and ruined his chance to play in this Provincial bronze medal final.

That’s a Be The Worst moment.

Now…this story has a Be The Best moment too.

Langley was down by a goal with 30 seconds to go in the game.

A certain Mr. Danny Spady, a defensive specialist and one year younger than Chris, had the ball.  Chris loved playing with Danny.  He is a tenacious, aggressive, hard-working, never-quit kid….and he doesn’t score that much!  As was relayed to me he drove down the floor with the passion and aggression that only comes from playing for a cause.

Yes…the decision by the opposing coaching staff and the officials gave the boys just the extra cause they needed yesterday.

You take a guy off the floor for wearing Chris’ wristband…look out…the motivation just got cranked.

Danny’s goal pushed the game into overtime and Brett Dobray displayed his amazing hands and touch with I believe both goals which pushed Langley into the overtime lead (2-1) and sealed the deal for the Bronze Medal.

What a story.

Now…for the boys on Richmond, it was obviously not their call.  That responsibility lies directly with their coach and the officials and for the love of the game, I hope that kind of decision making is reviewed by the league.  For the boys themselves, Richmond had a great season and I wish them all the best with their next steps in lacrosse and life.

In life we know we can’t change what happened.  But what do we know? WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR NEXT DECISION!!  We can be in charge of our next shift.  Our next shot.  Our next thought process.

As I texted one of Langley’s players when I heard this news, I’m sure Chris had a few things to say about the incident yesterday from his ‘season ticket cloud seats’ and I know that he is with you all….always!!

Great job Langley.

Way to turn a negative into an amazing BE THE BEST moment.

Categories
Be The Best.

Father’s Day – the lighter side

Watch as I totally dominate Max in both cycling and then basketball.

(and if you believe that…)

Finally pieced a few bits of vid together from a great afternoon with the kid.

Of course we reminisced and laughed about the times Chris would join us on the bball court at home.  Chris played basketball like he was playing lacrosse, complete with full-on body checks and intense (if not mostly illegal) defence.

After that I showed Max a thing or two about shooting and took him to the hoop a few more times before we biked home.  (cough)

Although not on the vid, I had the chance to play ping pong with my Dad just a few days after Father’s Day itself.

We had a great time.  I’m trying to remember the score, but I just can’t right now….

(When you’re 80 year old Dad beats you in ping pong after recovering from a 2 month hospital stay and 4 surgeries…you’d try to forget the score too…!)

Hey, this sports blog post ain’t going too well for me today.

Categories
Be The Best.

It’s Friday

Tony Campolo: Author and speaker on political ...
Image via Wikipedia

It’s Friday.

But Sunday’s coming.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard Dr. Tony Campolo speak.  An amazing orator, social activist and sometimes preacher.

If you’ve got 6 minutes, watch this video and listen to him go.

It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

Even before we lost Chris I always wondered about Good Friday.

What’s good about the cross and the suffering surrounding that event?

Not much.

The ‘good’ in Friday is the knowledge that Sunday is coming.

For Christians this is the core of the faith.  There is resurrection.  There is hope.  Sunday is coming.

For us as we long to see Chris again, we also recognize that it’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

You can call Friday good, but nothing really good happened on that day, but in context, Sunday was coming and things got really good.

So today we’ll say, “It’s Friday….but SUNDAY’S COMING!!”

Categories
Be The Best.

Now that was something.

AC (Cathy AJ Hardy) put on her CD release concert last night.

It was great to see so many people there including many blog readers!

I hate it when your little sister can make you cry, but the song she sang for Chris last night melted the pieces of my heart.

Ingrid and I recently met with a strong woman who had experienced the loss of her son over a decade ago.

The first thing I noticed about her was her eyes.  Determined.  Deep.  Questioning but peaceful.

I loved that presence.

Sure, there were unanswered questions, but that same theme came up as it has again and again.

She had made choices about her future as she moved forward.

AC’s concert was all about the journey.

It was all about making decisions even though the path wasn’t always clear.

Generally speaking we’ll never have all the data to make ‘perfect’ decisions.

We simply continue to choose and move forward toward our goal.

Here’s a few pics.

Categories
Be The Best.

Wow I miss that kid

I don’t know what was up with today.

I missed Chris at every turn.  Not totally unusual…somehow just more emphasized today.

Maybe it started last night.

I was walking to the hockey game and thought about the Canucks starting another playoff run.

As I walked along False Creek I told Chris how much I missed him and that I hoped he was taking in the action, which I certainly believe he will be.

Today though, I just miss my kid.

Over a year later and the emotions and depth of feeling equals anything we’ve felt so far.  In other words, the deepness of the loss continues, even though we must carry on.  And if we’re carrying on, we better do a good job of it.  In fact, why don’t we aim to Be The Best!

Speaking of that, AC is holding her concert in Abbotsford on Saturday.

Here’s a few blog posts/articles about her album release and concert info for those inclined.

I can’t hear her music without thinking of Chris.

http://www.rablog.ca/2011/04/14/cathy-hardy-music-concert-in-abbotsford/

http://westcoastmomma.com/2011/04/13/on-the-blog-cathy-aj-hardy-emerton-recording-artist/

Memories are filled with love.

Memories are filled with loss.

Nothing’s easy when you lose a part of you.

You can’t get that back.

We only control our next decision and so we will carry on.

That being said…..Chris, we miss you like you’ll never know.

Categories
Be The Best.

When the wind kicks up, you’re bound to get a few Whitecaps

250
Image via Wikipedia

Sports has been a big part of our family.

Whether coaching the boys soccer teams, Max playing basketball and Chris lacrosse.

Then there was the fan part of sports.

Tonight Ingrid and I ventured out to our first Whitecaps soccer game.

It was a fantastic experience…aside from the referee who felt he should be the center of attention, but alas before this becomes a sports rant, I’ll stop.  (cause if I don’t I’ll probably get a red card seeing as they were being handed out like candy tonight) ((ok, I’ll really stop now))

The crowd was great.  The game was great.  The atmosphere was great.  The company was great.

One of the first things Ingrid said to me as we sat down was what do you think Chris would think of the soccer team, MLS in Vancouver etc.  I said I knew he would love it and given the open air atmosphere of Empire Field, he probably had the best seats in the house tonight.

I will never forget the Canucks playoff run and disappointment last year and the anticipation of a BIG run this year.

It was riveting and was a great distraction in very tough times.  I think though, it was more than just a distraction.  It reminded me of the passion that only comes from sports.  The kind of passion that Chris lived with.  I think that’s the true attraction.

When the winds kick up and the storm is blowin, there are bound to be a few whitecaps on the water.  We’ve seen a few of those in our family this past year!

However, it was the Whitecaps tonight, that offered that wonderful first-hand look into the purity and passion of sport and remind us both of another amazing athlete and son we know, love and remember with every heartbeat.

yfrog Photo : http://yfrog.com/gyuyzlrj Shared by randy_friesen.

Categories
Be The Best.

Yearnin for Vernon

My Dad used that phrase a lot to help my Mom support the vision of a Vernon retirement about 13 years ago.

I’m Yearnin for Vernon he would say.

After another weekend visit, I’ll say I love Vernon, but I’m yearnin not to go up there every other weekend…!

We took the beautiful drive from Sun Peaks through Kamloops to Vernon Jubilee Hospital where we saw not one, but two parents on different floors.

Then something cool happened.

Dad was well enough to go for an adventure, and after Grace paved the way with the Nurses looking after Mom, Max and Ingrid negotiated a wheel chair and we took Dad to see his bride.  He told us he may be emotional and he was a bit.  These two still are deeply in love after 55 years plus…really great to see.

We also showed Mom and Dad the video from yesterday’s blog and Dad’s skis at the chapel in the sky at the top of Sun Peaks.  That was sort of cool.

Mom’s immunity continues low because of chemo treatment but her spirit was a strong as ever.  Currently a severe ear infection has her hospitalized.  As hard as it was to see her in a hospital bed, she’s getting good care.

Dad is unattached from all hoses and tubes which is a great thing!  He is moving on to short-term care in another facility before heading home once Mom is more fully recovered.

Someone asked me what more our family could take given the past year with losing Chris and current circumstances with my folks and my sister’s heart attack.

That answer is relatively simple.

Some things we can control and some are not within our control.

But…the one thing we ALWAYS control is our ability to make the next decision.  Simple things like making the decision to head to Vernon today.  I was very happy to have the chance for Max to see and talk with his Grandma and Grandpa with Ingrid as well.

You can’t buy those moments.  Every one is exceedingly special.

In a light-hearted exchange I told Dad that Max would be voting for the first time this election and that he was voting for the Green party (not that there is anything wrong with that!).  My Dad is a staunch Reformer/Conservative complete with official calendars of Stephen Harper wearing what appears to be a different sweater each month.  The look that Dad shot at Max was priceless and then Max admitted he was actually probably leaning towards Mark Warawa (Conservative), but he might need a calendar.  No problem Dad said, he had an extra.

Dad floats between that kind of sharpness and some less sharp times but his colour is good and the prognosis is pretty decent at this stage.

For every conversation and every ability to share a laugh…we are exceptionally thankful.  We controlled the ability to have that moment and took it.

Rock your week.

Categories
Be The Best.

My 3, no 4 kids.

I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.

I knew Dad was in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

I knew my sister Grace was in the ICU.

I ‘knew’ it, but I didn’t ‘know’ it if that makes any sense.

It was sort of inconceivable that two family members would land in the ICU.

Grace is recovering from a heart attack last weekend and is doing well all things considered.  We spent a lot of time together today and she is grateful and thankful and will make a very strong recovery with the help of her Doctors and her family.

We moved from Grace’s room to Dad’s room, just around the corner in the ICU.

At one point Val (my 2nd oldest sister) and Cathy (AC, the youngest sister) held Dad’s hand and I stood at the foot of his bed.

Cathy said something like ‘Dad, you’ve got your three kids here…isn’t that great’?

Dad without skipping a beat said, ‘No, I have four.  Grace is here too.’

Yes…Dad was right on.  All four of his kids were there.  Val, Cathy and Randy in the room and Grace just around the corner in a room of her own!

After a bit of conversation Dad dropped this nugget as we talked about life in general.

‘Life is too short not to live the dream’.

WOW.

That’s some deep stuff.

Thanks Dad.

That’s a Be The Best moment.

Yes, life IS too short not to live the dream.

Love it.

Categories
Be The Best.

Rice Krispy Squares and Cleaning House

It was a long day at work.  A good day, but long.

Leaving the campus just after 8pm, we settled in for the 35 minute commute.

Ingrid handed me a wrapped package.  Rice Krispy Squares, homemade by you know who, she said.

I knew.  I won’t publicize here, because I don’t want anyone else encroaching on my secret Rice Krispy Square baker!

They were fantastic.  My friends and colleagues know my weakness for Rice Krispy Squares.  Ok, it’s an addiction really, not a weakness.

It brought back many memories tonight.  I don’t think we cooked a meal that we had to prepare for a month after Chris passed away.  It was an amazing way that people told/showed us they were supporting us.

When we got home tonight, our house was sparkling clean, just like every Wednesday.  That’s when the cleaners come.  Except, we’ve never hired cleaners.  Another anonymous (yes, we are pretty sure we know!) supporter has organized weekly cleaning for the past year.  We are amazed, humbled and grateful for these things.

There was a situation at work today where colleagues were discussing a family situation in which there was an unexpected and severe illness of a spouse of a colleague in their department.  I provided the example of the cleaning and how much it has affected us in a positive way as an idea for consideration to answer the constant question of what can we do to help.

My sister Grace last night talked about the flower delivery person showing up at her door on the 1st anniversary of her husband’s passing and suggesting it was her lucky day.

Thankfully, those kind of interactions have been very very few and far between.

Instead we have been blessed again and again with thots, prayers and actions of support…like Rice Krispy Squares and a clean house!

Categories
Be The Best.

Circles

I’ve been thinking about circles lately.

You know I love sunsets, but did you know this?  The sun’s diameter is 1.4 million kilometers.

That’s a big circle, or I guess sphere would be the more appropriate word.

I’ve thought so many times of Chris’ beautiful eyes and how they are living on and helping to give a young transplant patient improved sight.  I love those small circles of light.

I looked down last week at the desk on which I write this tonight.  There are salty circles that have stained the table, the sometimes unavoidable outcome of overflowing eyes.

I also think of the circle of life and sometimes how big and sometimes how small it can be.

Our hearts break for the family of 12-year-old budding hockey player Coleton Nelson who was killed in a car accident this weekend here in Valley.

That circle of life was way too short.

So was Chris’.  A short circle of life, but oh so big.

Circles.  Big.

Circles.  Small.

Circles.

Do me a favour and give your kids a great big hug tonight!

If you’re a kid reading this, it’s ok to tell your folks you sorta luv them too!!

Be The Best.