Month: April 2011

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Be The Best.

Run hard for your kids.

I read this article in my Thursday morning Province paper and it threw off my morning routine.

I usually glance through the headlines looking for work related issues, but the front page story caught me and I ended up reading the whole thing.  It caused me to eat my cornflakes 4 minutes later than usual, causing an equal time delay in the tea making and subsequent vehicle extraction from the garage…but I digress.

You can read the article for yourself at this link.

It’s about Norma Mastidas, a 43 year old BC Mom who took up running ultramarathons when her son began to go blind.

It’s a sad but happy story filled with HOPE!  It’s got BE THE BEST all over it!

Here’s a quote:

Documentary producer Kyra Thompson says Bastidas is “really an incredible woman.”

“She isn’t part of any giant organization -she is just one person having an impact on the world, literally one step at a time,” Thompson said.

“So many parents’ worst nightmare would be to receive the kind of news she did and to feel helpless. But she was able to turn it around and set such a great example for her sons about never giving up and helping others. If that is not extraordinary, I don’t know what is.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/health/Running+hard+kids/4688430/story.html#ixzz1L4r9zW9O
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Be The Best.

Go Canucks!

Maybe a strong GO CANUCKS GO doesn’t fit in a blog about loss, grief and the new normal…but I beg to differ.

I’ve written before about sitting down with Max and Chris watching the Nux getting eliminated from the playoffs by Chicago.  I told them that sick feeling we all had was what it was like being a lifelong Canucks fan.

Sure that was an emotional statement at the time, but ultimately, I still had hope.

Now what I’ve learned about HOPE is that it’s an action word.

So, this season we cheered, watched, joined hockey pools and generally had a great time living the experience with the Canucks.

That brings us to this week.  Due to a friend’s ridiculous schedule and fantastic generosity Max and I ended up with tickets to Game 7 on Tuesday.

I was ecstatic to take Max to that experience.  This pic (lousy blackberry camera) shows the hype and excitement…and that was just the pre-game!

I wanted to wear something from Chris as well.  I chose his shoes.

When Burrows scores a goal he sometimes shoots an arrow into the sky to remember his friend and fellow Canuck, Luc Bourdon, who had died in a motorcycle crash in 2008.

When Burrows scored in overtime on Tuesday night, Rogers Arena erupted like a volcano.

I don’t think Burrows had a chance to shoot his arrow as he was mobbed and crushed in a happy dog pile.

In a previous game, Burrows pays tribute to his friend.

The emotion I felt was incredible.

I remember high-fiving with Max and others fans around, but mostly just holding my arms in the air and screaming like a moron.

In that moment time stopped and I thought of Chris.

I thought about how much he would have loved to see the Canucks slay this dragon and move forward with the playoffs.  I thought about how much I missed sharing that experience with him while at the same time so pumped to be able to share the experience with Max.

I loved standing in Chris’ shoes and drinking in the excitement of the crowd.

Although they couldn’t be there in person, I believe Chris and Luc Bourdon and many other hockey fans were cheering loudly up in their lofty box seats.

Go Nucks Go!!

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Be The Best.

Easter Sunday, and so it begins…v2

I wrote a post with that same title, ‘Easter Sunday, and so it begins’ on Easter Sunday 2010.

Although over a year has passed and we’ve marked a year from Chris passing date and service date, today marks a very important milestone as well.

Since beginning this blog last Easter Sunday, individual blog posts have been read over 127,000 times.

I get that most people still to this day don’t really know what to say or how to say it.  But as therapeutic as writing these posts day after day and week after week has been, it’s been amazing to know that a silent army stands alongside.

I love that.

I read with interest an essay in the Vancouver Sun over morning coffee yesterday.

It was titled, ‘The Biology of hope bolsters Easter’s central message’.  I’ve linked here if you have time to peruse.

I love this little excerpt:

These definitions make clear hope should not be confused with blind optimism.

When we are suffering or fearful, our hopes may often be dim, but they must include reasonable expectation.

Hope is distinguished from mere wishing. We can wish for financial wealth, or a cure for our loved one’s cancer, a dictator to be vanquished or a sudden end to global warming. But sometimes wishes are not realistic.

“Wishing are words and left brain,” Vaillant writes.

“In contrast, hope is made up of images and is rooted in the right brain. Wishing on a star takes no effort. Hope often requires enormous effort and shapes real lives.”

The transcendent quality of hope points to why researchers are coming to realize it is not only an emotion. It is a virtue.

As such, it must be cultivated, especially when times are toughest.

When I wrote the post, ‘Hope is an action word’, Chris’ amazing friend (who’s name is Hope) wrote a fantastic comment.  It simply said, ‘I am Hope’.

Yes you are.  Hope…you are Hope!

If you don’t mind, we are trying to be a little Hope-like ourselves!

The thing that really struck me about this article in the Sun was that in order for Hope to be Hope and not just a wish or dream, is that it required ACTION.

HOPE, DECISIONS, ACTION.

As I said on Friday, it’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

Of course Sunday is here for Easter 2011, but we wait and live with HOPE for our next ‘Sunday’ with Chris whenever that will be.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Biology+hope+bolsters+Easter+central+message/4663871/story.html#ixzz1KRrA9apN

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Be The Best.

Sunsets in a different place.

You know I love sunrises and especially sunsets.

This is a bit of a different one.  This is taken with a lousy Blackberry phone, but I loved the sun screaming across the field and shining on a wall.

The field is a cemetery and the wall is Chris’ wall.  Dogwood #41.

Every time we go to the cemetery it is a special moment for lack of a better word.

We get that Chris’ spirit doesn’t live there.

But that being said, it’s becoming a very cool place to connect with Chris and all the love, emotions, hopes, desires, proud moments, sad moments, lost future, and hope of a future to come.

Here’s a little peek at that world.

View from Chris' wall looking out across the cemetery field at the setting sun.
View of Chris' wall with his white rose (from his Mom) and paper marker as we await his brass name plate. Love the sun hitting the wall in the latter part of the day.
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Be The Best.

It’s Friday

Tony Campolo: Author and speaker on political ...
Image via Wikipedia

It’s Friday.

But Sunday’s coming.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard Dr. Tony Campolo speak.  An amazing orator, social activist and sometimes preacher.

If you’ve got 6 minutes, watch this video and listen to him go.

It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

Even before we lost Chris I always wondered about Good Friday.

What’s good about the cross and the suffering surrounding that event?

Not much.

The ‘good’ in Friday is the knowledge that Sunday is coming.

For Christians this is the core of the faith.  There is resurrection.  There is hope.  Sunday is coming.

For us as we long to see Chris again, we also recognize that it’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming.

You can call Friday good, but nothing really good happened on that day, but in context, Sunday was coming and things got really good.

So today we’ll say, “It’s Friday….but SUNDAY’S COMING!!”

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Be The Best.

Now that was something.

AC (Cathy AJ Hardy) put on her CD release concert last night.

It was great to see so many people there including many blog readers!

I hate it when your little sister can make you cry, but the song she sang for Chris last night melted the pieces of my heart.

Ingrid and I recently met with a strong woman who had experienced the loss of her son over a decade ago.

The first thing I noticed about her was her eyes.  Determined.  Deep.  Questioning but peaceful.

I loved that presence.

Sure, there were unanswered questions, but that same theme came up as it has again and again.

She had made choices about her future as she moved forward.

AC’s concert was all about the journey.

It was all about making decisions even though the path wasn’t always clear.

Generally speaking we’ll never have all the data to make ‘perfect’ decisions.

We simply continue to choose and move forward toward our goal.

Here’s a few pics.

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Be The Best.

Kick that.

The Karate Kid
Image via Wikipedia

Have you seen that Karate Kid movie?

I haven’t…but I watched a preview, read a review and someone talked to me about it so I pretty much have…

I did see the first generation of films in the 80’s, and I know the 2010 film garnered a lot of solid positive reviews.

It was watching the preview bits on a Blue-Ray disc though that really caught my eye and ear.

The Mr. Han character (the amazing Jackie Chan) states ‘Life will knock us down, but we can choose whether or not to stand back up.’

You can see it here at about 49 seconds in.

Life will knock us down…but we can CHOOSE to get back up.

There’s that word again!!

During a week like this where for whatever reasons the feelings of loss are amplified, we continue to choose.

Rock your weekend.

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Be The Best.

Wow I miss that kid

I don’t know what was up with today.

I missed Chris at every turn.  Not totally unusual…somehow just more emphasized today.

Maybe it started last night.

I was walking to the hockey game and thought about the Canucks starting another playoff run.

As I walked along False Creek I told Chris how much I missed him and that I hoped he was taking in the action, which I certainly believe he will be.

Today though, I just miss my kid.

Over a year later and the emotions and depth of feeling equals anything we’ve felt so far.  In other words, the deepness of the loss continues, even though we must carry on.  And if we’re carrying on, we better do a good job of it.  In fact, why don’t we aim to Be The Best!

Speaking of that, AC is holding her concert in Abbotsford on Saturday.

Here’s a few blog posts/articles about her album release and concert info for those inclined.

I can’t hear her music without thinking of Chris.

http://www.rablog.ca/2011/04/14/cathy-hardy-music-concert-in-abbotsford/

http://westcoastmomma.com/2011/04/13/on-the-blog-cathy-aj-hardy-emerton-recording-artist/

Memories are filled with love.

Memories are filled with loss.

Nothing’s easy when you lose a part of you.

You can’t get that back.

We only control our next decision and so we will carry on.

That being said…..Chris, we miss you like you’ll never know.

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Be The Best.

Radical Balance

I believe life is about Radical Balance.

Chris and Max balance a volleyball on the sun in Hawaii.

 

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Be The Best.

Anyone ever give you a pig?

So I got a pig a couple of weeks back.

Yup, a pig.

Now, not a real live pig, but a real pig just the same.

I love the pig.

In fact, he now has a home right beside my computer where most of these blog posts are written.

To understand the pig, you must see the pig.  Notice anything different about this pig?  If you said it’s made of wood, that’s a good start.  It has a ribbon around its neck.  Good.  Perhaps the wings on the pig’s back?  YES….with tongue firmly in cheek…if you said, this pig had wings, THAT is exactly what is different than most traditional pigs…wooden or otherwise.

The coolest thing about this pig however, is the medal it is wearing around his neck.

It says, Believe pigs can fly And they will grow wings.

I LOVE THAT!

Sometimes to conquer what seems like insurmountable odds, something very special needs to occur.

Occasionally pigs need to grow wings.

I love this pig.

Thanks ‘you know who you are’ for giving it to me and reminding us all about the power of believing the impossible.

Love it.