There was a great story in yesterday’s Province Newspaper about Zoe and Bob Longshaw. They’ve been married 65 years and the story of their relationship reads like a slice of history. It’s a great story and I’ve linked it here.
It reminded me of another couple I know who’ve been married over 50 years…I think 55 this September if my memory serves. (If it doesn’t I’m sure my sisters will correct me in short order.) Their names are Jake and Leona Friesen…aka my Mom and Dad.
They were down over Christmas and I had shot some video at Blackie Spit which I had written about at that time, but only put the video clips into a little movie this weekend.
The occasion? A bit of Valentine’s Day and a bit of a birthday…an 80th birthday to be exact.
DAD….HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR FEB 16!
MOM AND DAD…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
You’ve given your family and so many others a great example of long-lasting relationships.
As has been said many times here, Max and Chris LOVED going to Grandma and Grandpa’s. We are so thankful for all the fantastic memories together.
So with that quick intro, here’s a little peek at a relationship that has stood the test of time.
I can’t tell you how many sunsets I took in last year through the months of April, May, June, July and August.
They were like medicine for me. Whether it was the feeling of the closing of a day is the reminder of a new one to come, the powerful display of dark and light with the clouds or simply getting a little glimpse of life beyond this earth and a connection with Chris. All of those and more.
As we all know our Vancouver weather doesn’t provide us with too many great sunsets between Oct and March and so Ingrid and I set off to find some.
If sunsets bore you, close your browser now! If you like em, here’s a few that happened this past week…so they’re ‘fresh’!
PS You can click on each pic to see a larger view. Feel free to use or share.
A recent escape has allowed us to take in some amazing sunsets.
They are a constant reminder to us of a Presence bigger than ourselves and a reminder that even though clouds may be dark, there IS blue sky behind even the darkest skies.
That’s a silver lining you can even see in the dark.
I read and watched with interest the recent news stories about Mark Kelly, the NASA astronaut and husband of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Congresswoman Giffords is showing how amazingly strong she is by continuing to improve at a rapid rate from an assassination attempt a mere month ago.
The recent news that I’m writing about here is Kelly’s announcement that he is continuing with his shuttle mission. Questions arose about how he could focus on such an incredibly difficult mission while his wife is recovering from a life threatening event and the trauma surrounding that situation.
Quoting from an Associated Press article on Feb 8,
“The key word there is being able to compartmentalize things,” he said.
Putting aside problems and feelings in little boxes and zeroing in on the tough task at hand — compartmentalizing — is what astronauts, military officers, firefighters, surgeons and presidents do all the time. It’s a good coping technique that works, especially for people like Kelly who is dealing with a family crisis, psychologists say.
You can read the full article here. It’s very interesting and it’s safe to say this is an extraordinary family and we wish the Governor a very speedy recovery and Commander Kelly a stellar and safe mission.
A psychology professor is quoted at the end of the article with his viewpoint.
In some ways people who “are very successful and high achievers” generally feel better because of this well-honed compartmentalizing skills, said Virgil Zeigler-Hill, a University of Southern Mississippi psychology professor. But they also can pay a big price later with an emotional rebound that can hit hard.
“It’s kind of a roller coaster,” he said.
That is probably what I found the most interesting.
Compartmentalizing is what gets these astronauts through a crisis scenario, but the ’emotional rebound’ can be significant. I’m sure that point could be countered by other psychology professors and of course the journalist is doing their job by getting both sides of the issue.
As I relate this back to what we’ve been through as a family and many of you with us who knew and loved Chris and quite frankly for those who have only got to know him through this blog…I think some of the best advice we received was to not completely compartmentalize or to completely melt into the thoughts of loss.
I’m not a doctor, but I can say this from experience that spending too much time with the thoughts of loss is simply overwhelming and not sustainable. Spending no time there…ie, complete compartmentalization is also a no-go in the longterm. I see compartmentalization as a key tool to continue to move forward, but to do so without spending time thinking and grieving and processing could produce long-term negative side effects. This blog has been a significant tool for me. Daily for over 100 days and multiple times per week since then, I have put thoughts to words and words to ‘paper’ via the blog. That has been a strong emotional connection to the healing process and a strong counter balance to the compartmentalization that is also a vital part of continuing to operate at a high level professionally.
Again, it appears that balance is the key. A radical balance perhaps.
I’m guessing if you ever had a private conversation with Mark Kelly, he’d let you know he was compartmentalizing for now, but fully prepared to deal with the events of his personal life post mission.
Even for those of us not flying space shuttles for a living, there’s some interesting thoughts here and I’m convinced as ever we can continue to learn from diverse and unexpected sources…like space shuttle commanders!
I had forgotten about some quick vid shots that Max and I had taken during the Maple Leaf Award dinner.
The one minute video recap is below.
As mentioned, Scott Rintoul from Team 1040 radio did a great job emceeing the event and it was great to meet him in person.
As a shameless BCIT plug, he’s a fantastic ambassador for the broadcasting programs (radio, journalism, tv) and we’re sure proud to have him as one of our Alumni. For those readers of this blog who are making education and career decisions in the next few years (or parents), BCIT has an excellent Big Info night coming up on March 2. I just double checked the weblink and my staff have put a very freaky looking picture of yours truly up on a vid that gives you a run-through of the event. Ok…why am I telling you all this? Of course, I love BCIT and what it does for people’s lives, but education of ALL FORMS is so critical to provide choice, options and opportunities for the future. These sessions simply open up eyes and brains to a bigger understanding of what kind of possibilities exist in the world of education. On a personal level, that’s a BIG DEAL for us as parents and I believe for us as a province and country as well. Ok, enough already, I’m stepping down from the soapbox…!
The last frame of the Maple Leaf video is a picture of the quilt that was made for us by one of my BCIT staff colleagues in Marketing, Kim. That became an instant family heirloom and something that we treasure at a very deep level. It seemed fitting for Chris’ 32 to show at the end of this clip surrounded by his BMS teammates. The side of the quilt shown in the vid is made entirely of Burnaby Mountain Select jersies that were brought to Chris’ funeral as a sign of respect, honour and friendship at Chris’ funeral.
To see more about the quilt, you can read/view: 7 days to write about a quilt and then link to other quilt blogs. For a while there I thought this was going to become a full-time quilting blog but thankfully I left that to quilting professionals.
As we move forward from the Maple Leaf Awards 2011 and the initial Chris Friesen Memorial Award, we are excited think about the thousands of dollars to be awarded in the future and more importantly the opportunity to inspire and challenge young men and women each year to BE THE BEST.
I know many of us remember Chris is so many different ways. I still see many of those wrist band things when we’re out and about. Awesome. We’ve worn ours every day for 10 1/2 months and I’m not sure when we’re ever going to stop.
I’ve seen more than one tattoo. Cool. (again, from a parent’s perspective, we’re not pushing tattoos, but we understand the DEEP meaning of getting one and we are incredibly humbled and honoured when someone makes that personal decision to honour Chris in that way!!)
I’ve seen email accounts, twitter accounts and facebook stuff all acknowledging and remembering Chris. Love it.
But one thing I had not seen…until now.
What would a tattoo for your car look like?
Well, I think Will VH, a good friend and lacrosse bud of Chris’, figured that out.
He just received the one and only set of CF 2 license plates in the entire province of British Columbia.
Cool.
Take a look at the pic below. I think it says it all.
I think I have a week’s worth of stuff to blog about.
Just like CoJo (I’m disturbed I know his name) at the Golden Globes, I’ll have my complete list of best dressed and worst dressed and other red carpet secrets later this week….or not. (before I get in trouble…everyone looked fantastic…even most of those lacrosse players clean up pretty good or at least had their mom’s or girlfriends iron a shirt for them which is a big step forward. (I have license to state these facts having lived with a lacrosse player for years…!))
What an evening.
I had not been at the Westwood Plateau facility since the Maple Leaf Award dinner last year. That was of course a different kind of evening. Chris won the BMS U-18 Defensive MVP award and we had a great evening hosted by Steve Darling from Global and Brian Price the keynote speaker, a gold medal Olympic rower.
This year, Scott Rintoul from TEAM1040 did a great job of hosting the sold-out event and Max Ritz, lacrosse player, entrepreneur and actor (The Hills on MTV- Season 6) provided interesting insight into the sport and the amazing future this game of lacrosse has.
And although there was to be a Chris Friesen award in 2011 as well, it was very very different that is for sure.
It was really fantastic to have Max with us along with his girlfriend Kiera. To be together as a family was huge for us. To have Langley families there was amazing. There was a family who flew their son in from his lacrosse school in VIRGINIA (yes, I mean east coast USA) to be there at the dinner last night as he played with Chris on the BMS program and wanted to honour his friend.
Are you kidding me?
These lacrosse families are simply awesome.
The BMS/SFU leadership gang asked if I’d put together a video intro to Chris’ award. I was honoured to do so, but it did not come easily. I had not seen Chris speaking for months and months and there are days where I can stare into those beautiful eyes and days where I just can’t. That’s all part of this thing. It’s all simply part of the deep love that provokes emotion far to bottomless for words or comprehension.
Here it is. Enjoy. Much more on this tomorrow…including pictures and who was awarded the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.
(ps…in case you’re wondering about the music about 30 seconds in…Thunderstruck by AC/DC is a tribute to the Langley Thunder lacrosse players and families as this was in essence the theme song for Langley Thunder lacrosse)
Over Christmas I had a chance to visit an uncle who suffers from ALS. He’s eighty years old and can’t speak or move any part of his body…except his eyes. I watched as my cousin aligned a high tech i-pad looking thing in front of him, complete with a camera that focused on his pupils. Using just the gaze from his eyes at a keypad on the screen he was able to spell basic words that produced communication allowing him to ask for his glasses and say thanks for coming. I was exceptionally impressed. Not only with the technology, but the ability of the human spirit to keep pushing through. He only had his eyes and that was all that was needed to connect.
Look at these eyes. This is Chris’ friend Devon that had a tattoo put on his arm to remember Chris forever. Those are powerful eyes that say a lot. Respect for a friend and determination to move forward in a positive way.
I will always remember Chris’ eyes. They were beautiful, strong, powerful, a little mischievous sometimes but always full of love.
We luv ya kid.
As we come to 10 months without you here in your physical body, there is NOT A DAY OR HOUR we don’t think about you.
We know you are with us in spirit.
Chris with lax friends, Jan 2010 at SFU/BMS awards dinner
AC (Auntie Cathy, aka Cathy AJ Hardy) was in the remote Mission studio of Philip Janz doing some vocal tracks for her upcoming release.
She invited me to drop by and Philip was gracious to let me take a few pics and shoot a little vid.
Philip is a very accomplished musician and producer in the gospel genre and beyond with awards he probably won’t tell you about, but you can read about them on the web!
I love music and the process of creating.
What makes Philip so unique is the ability to really understand music from a musical perspective and also be a technical master. Watching him work was very interesting. He was a blend of technician, music coach, manager and orchestra leader. He knew what small part he wanted recorded and/or changed and then had a vision of how that would affect the whole piece. You need a lot of vision and skill to do that as well as get the best from the musician or vocalist you are working with.
It was as if Philip was seeing everything through his ears if that makes any sense. The part I like most in the vid is seeing him twirl his pen as he listens to Cathy lay down a vocal track. He’s feeling every note and nuance making decisions on timing, pitch and understanding of how he’ll use that piece of the puzzle to help Cathy tell her story. Very cool.
Talk about Be The Best.
Oh yah…AC is coming out with a new album. That is VERY COOL too. There are some fun songs. There are some DEEP songs. There are some songs sung with Chris is mind.
I loved what I heard…and I can’t wait.
Here’s a very little sneak peek inside the work of a master producer and a pretty cool musician…(yah, that’s high praise coming from an older brother…)
The other thing to watch for in the vid is the emotion that comes through music. Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? Is it possible to be feeling the deepest emotions of loss yet feel the powerful strength of hope for the future? Yup.
Be The Best. 