Reasonable food, reasonable service…but I’ll save the eatery critique for my other blog…’Eating Your Way Through the Fraser Valley’, coming in 2014. Wait for it.
The purpose for the breakfast was to see if my vision of Mom and Dad on Friday night was simply a dream sequence or actually real.
I took a camera along to be sure.
I remember just a couple of months back when Dad was so sick, thinking of our mountain biking experience last summer and simply making the schedule work to make that connection work.
Breakfast today was simply another opportunity to make the schedule work so we could connect, share some stories, have a few laughs and maybe a few sad stories too.
All part of being a family.
I guess the moral of the story is that any time and any experience can be a good one and continue to renew and deepen the bond. Even a simple breakfast.
Here’s the pictorial evidence.
A respectful pose with Randy, Dad, Mom and sister Val.The funny thing about this pic is that it looks like Mom is giving Dad the 'rabbit ears'...or maybe she actually is!Max, Dad and Mom.
June 2011 was one of those points in time that I knew was coming.
I didn’t really want it to get here.
But like a train whistle on a quiet night heard from miles away, I knew the train called time was on the track and couldn’t be stopped.
What’s the big deal with June?
It’s another major milestone.
Chris would have graduated from High School this month. That’s a big deal because it meant the next steps of the bigger plan which included lacrosse, university and of course the doorway to the rest of his life.
We drove by a grad ceremony last week quite by accident. It wasn’t from his high school…in fact it was in another city. It did not take long for emotions to be on high alert.
This is just part of the journey and journey we will.
Bri (centre) with friends.
Now, there is a very great side of June that we welcome with huge and open hearts.
Chris’ friends will graduate soon and there will be more on that topic in another post, but Chris had a very close cousin named Brianna who graduated last night. We were able to meet up with her and get some pictures and talk with her before the big ceremony. To say we are proud is a complete understatement.
This is a young woman who is beautiful both inside and out. She is as smart as a whip taking home multiple awards and trophies last night. As Bri enters her next chapter of life, we would say these profound words….YOU GO GIRL!!
Dream your dreams. Write down your visions. Turn them into measurable goals and get to work in making it all come true.
Now as an addendum to this, as we were waiting to connect with Bri, a young couple came walking across the parking lot. It was sort of like a dream sequence. This young couple was my Mom and Dad. The last time I saw them together, I was wheeling Dad in a hospital chair from one floor to another (yes, via elevator!) to see Mom who was also in the hospital. To see them walking towards us looking as svelte as ever was nothing short of a miracle I would say. I’ve taken a few pictures so you can judge for yourself.
After I wrote the Mom’s Day blog on Sunday, we headed out for an afternoon White Rock beach walk…but not before a stop at Chris’ wall.
We’ve been there many times by now and although there were no services going on at the time, it was like rush hour at the facility.
At first we didn’t get it and then it became incredibly obvious. Families had come out to remember their Moms and Grandmas. Fresh flowers were everywhere. If it wasn’t a cemetery I would say it was beautiful.
Actually…I take that last comment back. It was beautiful. The beauty was not the marking of death and passing, but rather the symbol of remembrance and respect. I can only imagine, but as people stood by the markers of their loved ones, they were thinking about how that person had affected their own lives and how they would live on to honour and respect that memory.
As we were leaving, a man in his 40’s we guess came with his aging Dad (their physical resemblance was uncanny). They approached the wall and we didn’t see where they went, but we’re pretty sure it was to acknowledge a wife and mother.
Mother’s Day in the cemetery. Hadn’t really thought of it before. As sad as it could be, it was also pretty amazing to see the influence these women had on their families in some cases generations later.
Maybe a strong GO CANUCKS GO doesn’t fit in a blog about loss, grief and the new normal…but I beg to differ.
I’ve written before about sitting down with Max and Chris watching the Nux getting eliminated from the playoffs by Chicago. I told them that sick feeling we all had was what it was like being a lifelong Canucks fan.
Sure that was an emotional statement at the time, but ultimately, I still had hope.
So, this season we cheered, watched, joined hockey pools and generally had a great time living the experience with the Canucks.
That brings us to this week. Due to a friend’s ridiculous schedule and fantastic generosity Max and I ended up with tickets to Game 7 on Tuesday.
I was ecstatic to take Max to that experience. This pic (lousy blackberry camera) shows the hype and excitement…and that was just the pre-game!
I wanted to wear something from Chris as well. I chose his shoes.
When Burrows scores a goal he sometimes shoots an arrow into the sky to remember his friend and fellow Canuck, Luc Bourdon, who had died in a motorcycle crash in 2008.
When Burrows scored in overtime on Tuesday night, Rogers Arena erupted like a volcano.
I don’t think Burrows had a chance to shoot his arrow as he was mobbed and crushed in a happy dog pile.
In a previous game, Burrows pays tribute to his friend.
The emotion I felt was incredible.
I remember high-fiving with Max and others fans around, but mostly just holding my arms in the air and screaming like a moron.
In that moment time stopped and I thought of Chris.
I thought about how much he would have loved to see the Canucks slay this dragon and move forward with the playoffs. I thought about how much I missed sharing that experience with him while at the same time so pumped to be able to share the experience with Max.
I loved standing in Chris’ shoes and drinking in the excitement of the crowd.
Although they couldn’t be there in person, I believe Chris and Luc Bourdon and many other hockey fans were cheering loudly up in their lofty box seats.
I wrote a post with that same title, ‘Easter Sunday, and so it begins’ on Easter Sunday 2010.
Although over a year has passed and we’ve marked a year from Chris passing date and service date, today marks a very important milestone as well.
Since beginning this blog last Easter Sunday, individual blog posts have been read over 127,000 times.
I get that most people still to this day don’t really know what to say or how to say it. But as therapeutic as writing these posts day after day and week after week has been, it’s been amazing to know that a silent army stands alongside.
I love that.
I read with interest an essay in the Vancouver Sun over morning coffee yesterday.
These definitions make clear hope should not be confused with blind optimism.
When we are suffering or fearful, our hopes may often be dim, but they must include reasonable expectation.
Hope is distinguished from mere wishing. We can wish for financial wealth, or a cure for our loved one’s cancer, a dictator to be vanquished or a sudden end to global warming. But sometimes wishes are not realistic.
“Wishing are words and left brain,” Vaillant writes.
“In contrast, hope is made up of images and is rooted in the right brain. Wishing on a star takes no effort. Hope often requires enormous effort and shapes real lives.”
The transcendent quality of hope points to why researchers are coming to realize it is not only an emotion. It is a virtue.
As such, it must be cultivated, especially when times are toughest.
When I wrote the post, ‘Hope is an action word’, Chris’ amazing friend (who’s name is Hope) wrote a fantastic comment. It simply said, ‘I am Hope’.
Yes you are. Hope…you are Hope!
If you don’t mind, we are trying to be a little Hope-like ourselves!
The thing that really struck me about this article in the Sun was that in order for Hope to be Hope and not just a wish or dream, is that it required ACTION.
This is a bit of a different one. This is taken with a lousy Blackberry phone, but I loved the sun screaming across the field and shining on a wall.
The field is a cemetery and the wall is Chris’ wall. Dogwood #41.
Every time we go to the cemetery it is a special moment for lack of a better word.
We get that Chris’ spirit doesn’t live there.
But that being said, it’s becoming a very cool place to connect with Chris and all the love, emotions, hopes, desires, proud moments, sad moments, lost future, and hope of a future to come.
Here’s a little peek at that world.
View from Chris' wall looking out across the cemetery field at the setting sun.View of Chris' wall with his white rose (from his Mom) and paper marker as we await his brass name plate. Love the sun hitting the wall in the latter part of the day.
I missed Chris at every turn. Not totally unusual…somehow just more emphasized today.
Maybe it started last night.
I was walking to the hockey game and thought about the Canucks starting another playoff run.
As I walked along False Creek I told Chris how much I missed him and that I hoped he was taking in the action, which I certainly believe he will be.
Today though, I just miss my kid.
Over a year later and the emotions and depth of feeling equals anything we’ve felt so far. In other words, the deepness of the loss continues, even though we must carry on. And if we’re carrying on, we better do a good job of it. In fact, why don’t we aim to Be The Best!
Speaking of that, AC is holding her concert in Abbotsford on Saturday.
Here’s a few blog posts/articles about her album release and concert info for those inclined.
Be The Best. 