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Be The Best.

2, 32, 41

No, those are not a sequence of numbers uttered by a football quarterback.

Those are jersey numbers Chris wore and was known for.

#2 in Langley.

#32 for Burnaby Mountain Selects

#41 proudly representing the great province of British Columbia

Tomorrow, March 25, is quite a day.

One year ago we lost our son.

Not a day or hour goes by without a thought of him.  Most hours the thoughts continue minute by minute.

We have found a place for people to come and remember Chris.

His ashes will remain forever at the Langley Lawn Cemetery at 208 and 44th.

It’s a beautiful place with 6 granite memorial walls in a stand of trees near 208th avenue.

When we went to view the walls, we found that two of the six walls were dedicated to individuals and four to couples.

One was called Maple and one was called Dogwood.

Wouldn’t you know it, Maple 32 was available as was Dogwood 41.

Maple 32 is amazing because the BMS logo is a Maple Leaf.

Dogwood 41 is amazing because Dogwood is the provincial flower and 41 was the number Chris wore for the province when he played at the Nationals in 2009.

Because of a few logistical reasons, we’ve chosen Dogwood 41 as the final resting place.

It’s a beautiful place to go.

Our family will be there tomorrow, joined a bit later by a few of Chris’ friends.  We wanted to show them personally where they can go to remember Chris so that they in turn can show others.

The journey continues, but this is a huge step for us.

I know my Dad in the ICU in Vernon is with us in spirit as is my Mom from Vernon and other family that can’t be with us personally. (health update: Dad is inching forward…very slow, but steady right now which is good)

Although tomorrow is a day for family and Chris’ close friends, we welcome anyone over the next weeks and months to stop by and spend a few minutes in thought about how passionately Chris lived his life and how he was determined to Be The Best.

I’ll never forget him writing down the goal of making the A1 Langley Thunder Lacrosse team.

I’ve never seen a kid so driven to achieve that goal.  He made it.  It was amazing.

Thanks for your continued support and all the thoughts and prayers coming our way this week.

We feel it!

PS

At 2:32 and 41 seconds, we will be looking up at the sky and saying hi to Chris.

If you want to take a quick look up at the sky at any time tomorrow and say hi to Chris, please do!  I know he would love it.  Dad…that’s you too!!  I know you can see the sky from your hospital bed!!

PPS

This blog has never been about money and never will be, but some people have asked what else they can do.  We will continue to give to Chris’ fund every year via Simon Fraser University’s giving program.  It’s a way to remember Chris and also challenge a new athlete every year to Be The Best.  The University has just set up a direct link for Chris’ fund.  They handle all donation receipts etc directly.  Here’s the link.

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Be The Best.

Hope is an action word.

What is hope?

It’s a noun.

It’s a verb.

It’s actually both.

That being said, any way you use it, I’ll argue that hope is an action word.

What do I mean?

Hope may be a state of mind or the expression of a state of being but when hope is combined with action…it truly is an action word.  I hope for a great future.  How am I making that future happen?

This past weekend, a trail on private land was dedicated to Chris’ memory.

The name of the trail…Hope Trail.

Totally love it.

Chris’ story is one of sadness sure…but it is also oozing with hope.

This trail leading down from a beautiful Valley property to the river below is not for the timid.  It’s a tough trail fit for a hard training athlete doing the equivalent of bleacher runs as Chris would do many times.

What is hope?  Hope is a massive tree crashing down in a windstorm and then the thought, desire and action to cut the barrier in pieces to get the trail through.  Hope is not seeing a cliff, but seeing a trail…

Steve addresses the assembled at the trail dedication...(ok, I think he was telling a joke)

Hope Trail.

It’s a beautiful thing.

Many thanks to Steve and Evy Klassen (Steve spoke at Chris’ funeral) and their family for this amazing remembrance for Chris.

Be The Best!

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Be The Best.

On my mind

AC, my sister Cathy, aka Auntie Cathy to Chris and many others wrote a very cool post on her blog today.

She has experienced the loss of a young teen-aged nephew on both sides of her family.  You can read the full post, but here’s an excerpt.

The question has come to me – how will you then live?  How will we all live?
There is a quote by St. Irenaeus that has come to reside deep within me –

‘The glory of God is a human being fully alive’

To be fully alive is perhaps the best answer I can give….to choose to be present, to choose life, to choose gratefulness, to choose to take risks in following dreams and passions…to fully live….is how I can say to these two boys I love…….Trevor & Chris…..you are on my mind

I love that concept of being fully alive.

People ask us how we carry on.  How can you deal with this kind of tragedy?

I tell them that first you choose to live and live with purpose.

We’ve said that Chris’ passion will fuel us.

I’m still discovering what that means, but living with purpose and being fully alive is certainly part of that equation.

I can’t believe it’s 11 months.

I simply can’t tell you what an aching heart feels like, but I know many of you also have known the pain of loss.

The thought that is continually in our minds and hearts is the knowledge that a pain so deep only exists because of a love so deep.  And because of that love, we will live our lives with purpose using Chris’ passion and others to fuel our journeys.

Have a Be The Best weekend…oh and Go Canucks Go against Boston tomorrow.

I’m allowed to say that right?  Oh yah, it’s my blog.

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Be The Best.

Circles

I’ve been thinking about circles lately.

You know I love sunsets, but did you know this?  The sun’s diameter is 1.4 million kilometers.

That’s a big circle, or I guess sphere would be the more appropriate word.

I’ve thought so many times of Chris’ beautiful eyes and how they are living on and helping to give a young transplant patient improved sight.  I love those small circles of light.

I looked down last week at the desk on which I write this tonight.  There are salty circles that have stained the table, the sometimes unavoidable outcome of overflowing eyes.

I also think of the circle of life and sometimes how big and sometimes how small it can be.

Our hearts break for the family of 12-year-old budding hockey player Coleton Nelson who was killed in a car accident this weekend here in Valley.

That circle of life was way too short.

So was Chris’.  A short circle of life, but oh so big.

Circles.  Big.

Circles.  Small.

Circles.

Do me a favour and give your kids a great big hug tonight!

If you’re a kid reading this, it’s ok to tell your folks you sorta luv them too!!

Be The Best.

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Be The Best.

An intro to two.

I’m going to intro you to a couple of people that I don’t know.

But..with the world of social media, the web CAN be an amazing place to connect on the journey of the new normal.

The first is Steve Ewen.

I’ve never met him.

He’s a reporter with the Vancouver Province and he’s battling cancer.  It’s a tough battle.  He’s called his blog, ‘I’m sad and mad about getting cancer’.  Actually no…he hasn’t.  His blog is called, Crush the Tumour with Humour.

It’s some amazing stories of someone going through a very tough fight but remaining positive and using humour to negotiate the new normal he and his wife find themselves living.  If I can figure it out, I’ll add it to my ‘links’ section, but here’s a quick direct link if you want to check it out.  Here’s an excerpt from today:

The bad news is that the new stitches in my back has led to our surgeon, Dr. Robert Lee, limiting my arm movements for the next two weeks. The really bad news, at least for the people at G.F. Strong and the general public around King Ed and Laurel in Vancouver, is that they’ve given me a power wheelchair.
Oh. Mercy. Think of the havoc I can cause with a motor and wheels?

Keep rockin it Steve!

The second link is from Gillian Berg, the Mission mom who lost her husband and father of their four children at Christmas.  Her writing is deep, spiritual and an amazing work of strength and vulnerability rolled into one.  An excerpt from her latest:

Last night, as my daughter asked for help, begged for prayers that would take her fear away, the fear that something else might happen, the fear that she is still in danger, I realized again that like the work needed to heal the physical wounds, there was going to be gruelling work needed to heal the emotional ones.

We, each one of us, will have to choose to stand slowly, painfully upon the limbs of our broken dreams; to endure the attacks of relentless discouragement of working towards something new; to fight for something better, something healthier.

To Steve and Gillian I would say, we all haven’t chosen our situations.  It happened.  Life happens. There is no big answer to the ‘why’ question….at least not one that may be evident in this lifetime.  We”ll simply stand with you on your journey of the new normal as so many have and are standing with us.  This is a link to the first time the term ‘the new normal’ entered our lexicon.  It’s been a fixture ever since.

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Be The Best.

Valentine’s Day

This is as simple as it gets!

Our love to all and a great big bear hug and kiss on the head to Chris!  We luv ya kid.

And yes, I know Chris is saying right now, Dad, REALLY??  A freakin valentine’s heart?  REALLY?

Yup.  Really.

😉

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Be The Best.

A few final thoughts about the CFMA 2011.

What…we’ve awarded it once and already formed an acronym?  Lame.

That’s the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.  There, that feels better.

A few closing thoughts about the awards.

Jeff Cathrea and Brent Hoskins are the head coaches for the SFU men’s lacrosse team.  Their accomplishments are pretty impressive, but they probably won’t tell you that.  You’ll have to read it here.

The biggest accomplishment however, doesn’t really show-up on stats sheets.

It shows up in stories about young men and how they have focused on their education.

Focused on their fitness.

Focused on lacrosse.

Focused on their future.

Read this story about one of their players, Chris Tessarolo.

If you’re a young person reading this, some fatherly advice.  Work hard at school, do your homework…and listen to your coaches!  They know what they’re talking about!!

Brent and Jeff won Coach of the Year honours in their conference and that’s a testament to the dedication to the team, SFU and development of younger players in the Selects program and camps.  Congrats guys!

Here’s a few more pics from the evening.

Oh, and the Best Dressed?  The very lovely Ingrid Friesen of course.

Brent, Marilyn (Brent's Mom and Team Manager for 11 seasons) Jeff
Max and Kiera
write your own caption...
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Be The Best.

Chris Friesen Memorial Award….DELIVERED.

I think I have a week’s worth of stuff to blog about.

Just like CoJo (I’m disturbed I know his name) at the Golden Globes, I’ll have my complete list of best dressed and worst dressed and other red carpet secrets later this week….or not.  (before I get in trouble…everyone looked fantastic…even most of those lacrosse players clean up pretty good or at least had their mom’s or girlfriends iron a shirt for them which is a big step forward. (I have license to state these facts having lived with a lacrosse player for years…!))

What an evening.

I had not been at the Westwood Plateau facility since the Maple Leaf Award dinner last year.  That was of course a different kind of evening.  Chris won the BMS U-18 Defensive MVP award and we had a great evening hosted by Steve Darling from Global and Brian Price the keynote speaker, a gold medal Olympic rower.

This year, Scott Rintoul from TEAM1040 did a great job of hosting the sold-out event and Max Ritz, lacrosse player, entrepreneur and actor (The Hills on MTV- Season 6) provided interesting insight into the sport and the amazing future this game of lacrosse has.

And although there was to be a Chris Friesen award in 2011 as well, it was very very different that is for sure.

It was really fantastic to have Max with us along with his girlfriend Kiera.  To be together as a family was huge for us.  To have Langley families there was amazing.  There was a family who flew their son in from his lacrosse school in VIRGINIA (yes, I mean east coast USA) to be there at the dinner last night as he played with Chris on the BMS program and wanted to honour his friend.

Are you kidding me?

These lacrosse families are simply awesome.

The BMS/SFU leadership gang asked if I’d put together a video intro to Chris’ award.  I was honoured to do so, but it did not come easily.  I had not seen Chris speaking for months and months and there are days where I can stare into those beautiful eyes and days where I just can’t.  That’s all part of this thing.  It’s all simply part of the deep love that provokes emotion far to bottomless for words or comprehension.

Here it is.  Enjoy.  Much more on this tomorrow…including pictures and who was awarded the Chris Friesen Memorial Award.

(ps…in case you’re wondering about the music about 30 seconds in…Thunderstruck by AC/DC is a tribute to the Langley Thunder lacrosse players and families as this was in essence the theme song for Langley Thunder lacrosse)

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Be The Best.

Rev. Jake on Comfort

The latest installment by Rev Jake (aka my Dad and Chris’ Grandpa).

Without further ado.

———

The COMFORT word:

Harking back to December and Christmas themes, I was impressed with several applications of the COMFORT word.

In the carol, ‘God rest ye merry gentlemen’ the chorus keeps repeating, ‘Tidings of COMFORT and joy’

The opening statement of Handel’s Messiah is ‘COMFORT ye my people, says your God’

There is the Advent story of an old man Simeon (Luke 2) who it is said was ‘waiting for the CONSOLATION of Israel’

On this side of heaven, because of human transgression and its consequences, invariably there are elements of sadness and sorrow in all of our lives, for which we need comfort.

The fragility of life may show up in health concerns, issues of aging; or people can become victims of violence, abuse, and even wars.

We might experience the loss of relationships, and the loss of loved ones.

The little child is covered with a Comforter blanket, which may provide a measure of security.

God Himself is our eventual Comforter, providing the final answer to all of our physical and relational needs, and preparing a new body for His children when the present edition wears out. God the Comforter also provides the only reliable revelation about a meeting time for loved ones who have been separated down here.

I take comfort in the message of COMFORT from the divine Comforter; He knows how much we are in need of His ministrations!

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It’s the moments…

Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.

Interesting.

I thought the curved wall going downstairs was a little bare.  I mumbled something to Ingrid about wouldn’t it be cool to have a saying written in text on the wall for something different.

Within a few weeks she had researched, ordered and received this vinyl lettering and most importantly picked out this phrase which I hadn’t seen until it went up on the wall.

I love it.  I think about it every time I head downstairs.

Are milestones important?  Birthdays? Yes. Anniversaries? Yes. Other stuff? (you know what I’m talking about…) Yes.

But really, what’s most important?  It truly is the moments.

As we look back at all of our very treasured memories with Chris and Max as they grew up, so many of the amazing times were simply moments that happened!  Whether it was a three year old Chris climbing a ladder to see his Dad on the roof (true), or the moments of victory at a lacrosse game or the fun and silly times of picking out a Christmas tree, those moments are like gold.

The one thing you need to make moments happen is time.

I remember as young father thinking about how many Dads didn’t get to know their kids because they were so busy or work schedules that were hard to control etc etc.

I am a very busy Dude, but family was ALWAYS first.  Therefore, we made sure we had THOUSANDS of moments.

Those moments are what continue to feed us and help us on our way.

As I was watching that Disneyland video last night I was getting choked up myself.  Those moments were so pure, poignant and unanticipated.  I think that is truly what makes them special.

Anyhoo…another smart decision by that good wife of mine!

Rock your weekend.