Tag: one decision at a time

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Be The Best.

Good morning, mourning.

Morning and Mourning.

Although I did not consult with any etymologists directly, I have been completely informed by Wikipedia and therefore am completely confident (not) that these words did not originate from similar sources.

That being said, The Online Etymology Dictionary is a very interesting place to go if you need a break from Facebook or that online poker site…(you know who you are) 😉

Being soundly beaten by my Mom (and Dad and Max) in Scrabble over the holidays has provided me with some increased motivation to study a word or two.

These words however, morning and mourning, have been kicking around in my head for months.

I really didn’t understand what the word mourning meant until we lost Chris.

After that it didn’t take long to get the true meaning of that word…and it is something that will simply be a part of us forever.

You hear of a period of mourning.  I guess in one sense that is very true, but I can’t believe that the feeling of loss and mourning will ever really disappear.

What I found interesting though was that the word morning, at least in our English language, lives in the word mourning.

Why interesting?

When I think of mourning I think of the ache of loss.  When I think of morning I think of the energy and anticipation of a new day.

Hmmm…ache of loss while still anticipating the possibilities of a new day.

Yup, I would say there definitely can be morning in mourning.

I shot this pic a few weeks back.  The winter can be seen as desolate and cold with the trees losing all their leaves.  Although this is  a shot of the sun setting on that very cold scene, to me it’s actually a sign of hope.

You know why?

After the sunset comes the morning.  The same trees will still be bare.  It will still be cold.  The mourning will still be there.  But morning, with all it’s anticipation of the future, will be there too.

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Be The Best.

Chips, Cancer and Christmas Trees

The Township of Langley was contracting to Field’s Tree Services to do some work near our house this week.

I talked to the crew and they mentioned they were having a Christmas Tree chipping event this weekend at Langley’s Willowbrook Mall. (Jan 8 and 9, 9am-3pm)

All the proceeds from this location are going to cancer research through the Canadian Cancer Society.

I don’t know the story, but these things are usually personal as so many of our families are hit by cancer.

So…instead of throwing your tree along the freeway this year…you’ve got a great alternative!!

That’s Be The Best…tree chipping style.

Click for all details from Township page.

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Be The Best.

Vince Gill, friends and the bigger family.

I had heard this Vince Gill song a bunch of times.

In fact I think we own the Vince Gill Christmas CD.

Only thing was, aside from the chorus, I hadn’t really ever listened to the words.

I received an email from someone thinking about us with the song attached.

I listened intently and then looked up the lyrics which I’ve put in below.

Vince Gill is an amazing artist.

His voice is full of feeling, emotion and passion.

When I understood what the song was actually about, it was that much more powerful.

Yes…Christmas is all about family and I love the last line as well.

We’re all part of a bigger family…he states, ‘we’re all children of the King of Kings’.

What I’ve loved (really!), so much about the past 9 months is people reaching out to us from all walks of life.  All religious backgrounds.  All cultures.

When you look at the big picture, we, as in the human race, are all brothers and sisters and truly children of the King of Kings.

Has Christmas been easy?

Nope.

Has knowing that we are connected to a bigger family, literally and figuratively, helped us?

Yup.

Here’s those lyrics.

———————–

It Won’t Be The Same This Year – Vince Gill

It’s time to pack our bags and hit the highway,
And head on out for Christmas holiday,
I’ll fall apart when I pull in the driveway,
It’s my first time home since brother passed away,
His favorite time of year was always Christmas,
We’ll reminisce about the days gone by,
Oh how I wish that he was still here with us,
My memories with him will never die,
(Bridge)

But when the stockings are hung,
And silent night has been sung,
And Christmas is finally here,
It won’t be the same this year,

Losing my big brother hurt so badly,
It’s help me learn what Christmas really means,
There’s nothing more important than your family,
We’re all the children of the King of Kings,
(Bridge)

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Be The Best.

Merry Chris-Max.

I’ve used that greeting for years.

No, we didn’t name the boys so we could have this built-in family pun every Christmas season…it just sort of worked out.

As I write this, we’ve had Ingrid’s side of the family over for dinner tonight.

The Ethanator was intently tracking Santa’s flight across the world via Norad’s Santa Tracking system.

Hey, if you haven’t seen it, you’ve got to check this out.

He’s right on target to visit British Columbia in the next few hours!

Ethan reminded me that we had forgotten to make name cards for the places at the table.  I asked if he could handle it and this sharp Grade 2’er took charge and wrote all the names down.  He then showed me the tag he had made for Chris.  Of course Chris needed a tag too.  I told him to add it to my plate.  It was very cool.

I mentioned at Thanksgiving that we didn’t set an extra place for Chris, but rather toasted him and acknowledged that he was with us always.  Tonight we did the same and raised our glasses and told Chris we loved him.

Then Ethan told some reindeer jokes.

Hey, did you know what the wettest animal in the world is?  Duh.  Raindeer.

That’s how it goes.

I love the eyes of a child.  Poignant. Pure. Powerful…and just plain Funny.

Merry Chris-Max to all.

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Be The Best.

Roller Derby?

Take a look at this pic.

It’s from the very early 70’s.

My Dad…preacher by day…roller derby by night.

Ok, maybe not roller derby, but he and Mom found roller skates for the whole family and turned the basement into a roller zone…complete with a ramp!

It was great fun.

We were at some friends recently and their two daughters put on several skits, songs and dance routines throughout the evening.  We loved it.

As the rush of Christmas week comes surging on us, I love to think of these simple, fun family times and the memories they create.

I’ve heard of families heading for ski hills and others heading to warm beaches over the next week.

Whatever you do, I wish you a lifetime of great memories.

For us, we will be creating new ones and also dipping into our bank of memories.

We are thankful every day for the deposits we’ve made through trips, adventures, and just crazy stuff around the house…just like my Dad did with roller skates in the basement!

Dad (Rev. Jake), Grace, Val, Randy and Cathy (AC).
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Be The Best.

The long and the short of it.

I wrote a few lines the other day and just couldn’t hit the ‘publish’ button.

The thoughts were plenty deep and plenty real, but like a good wine, they have now aged an appropriate time and I can provide some greater context.

This Christmas season is not the easiest as you can imagine.

Christmas is all about family, food, traditions.

Of course that invokes memories.  That’s not a bad thing…not at all.  It’s just that this being our first Christmas without Chris, really feels weird.  You shouldn’t take the Chris out of Christmas right?  (yes, this is a a very bad pun at an inappropriate time…but that’s how we roll in this family!)

I wrote these four lines the other day.  They just sort of blurted out of my head.

How broken is my heart?

How deep is my love.

How deep is my love?

How broken is my heart.

One of the things I’ve realized is that the pain we feel, and so many of you feel too, is simply symbolic of the love we had and have for Chris.  You CANNOT have a broken heart if you had no love.  Plain and simple.

For some of you, you never had a chance to meet this kid in person.

He was amazing.  He would light up a room when we walked/bounced/stormed in!

His spirit now lights up many hearts and rooms.

We get through these times by making decisions, giving, and even taking shots in the dark.

If you’ve read this blog before, all of the above will make sense.  If you haven’t…you’ve got some work to do!

That’s the long.  Here’s the short.

I had pieces of two batches of shortbread cookies last night.

Both were unbelievable.  Those of you who know me know I don’t eat wheat so these were rice flour shortbread cookies.  They are hard to find and hard to make.

Yet two different people went out of their way in a gesture of kindness to show us that they were thinking of us at Christmas.

I’m telling you, we are again humbled by these act of kindness.  They not only help us through this journey, but it burns in my mind the incredible positive impact that the action of giving can produce.

I put a few bucks into a Salvation Army kettle last night like so many us have done on this and every other holiday season.  This time though I had more of a sense than ever about how any act, even one so small,  can make an impact.

That’s the long and short of it.

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Be The Best.

Coat Cheque.

Chris, in red, takes on fellow BMSer in practice session.

Late yesterday afternoon we left BCIT and headed up the hill to Simon Fraser University.

We’ve done that drive many times.  Most of those times were to drop Chris and his fellow Burnaby Mountain Selects lax dudes off for a practice.  Then they would beat each other with sticks and run like crazy people and throw a hard rubber ball as intensely as they could at even crazier dudes who were the goalies!  Chris loved it.

Look at these pics from Aug 2009.  This was actually a practice down in New West, but these are all BMS players in a scrimmage.  Chris is red #32.  I love the picture where you can see him smiling through his mouth guard.  He loved playing defense.  I spoke to some of his teammates who said Chris would hurt you in practice and it was excellent, cause it made you better.  You knew he was giving 100% all the time…practice, scrimmage or championship game.

I just LOVE that smile.

Anyways, yesterday wasn’t a practice.

We were heading up to SFU to deliver the cheque that will be presented to the first receipient of the Chris Friesen Memorial Award in January 2011.  Wanda from the foundation at SFU met us and she has become a wonderful part of all the good that is happening and will continue to happen in Chris’ name.  With the fund over $30,000 and the first gift in place, the fund is now fully operational and will provide the first official payout based on interest earned from the fund in January 2012.  We cannot think about the fund or the legacy from the fund without thinking about everyone who contributed directly and indirectly to the fund and our family with love and care over the past 8 months.

That’s the cheque…the coat was today.

Our entrepreneurial marketing students at BCIT were having a fund raiser today with a silent auction and also having a coat drive.  Ingrid had a used coat and we also had one from Chris.  The thought of his coat keeping someone warm this winter makes us feel good, even though the very simple act of giving away his coat this afternoon was not the easiest thing that I’ve ever done.

Coat…Check.

Cheque…Check.

A good couple of days….hard….but good.

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Be The Best.

Adrian Peterson and Be The Best!

It all started here.

Chris LOVED Adrian Peterson.

Chris didn’t play football of course, he played lacrosse but that didn’t matter.

Chris had a poster of Adrian Peterson in his room with Be The Best on it that he had made himself downloading the image off the web.

Cooking up a little brunch today, the football game was on in the background and Mr. Favre and the Vikings were taking on the Washington Redskins.  Just watching Adrian Peterson run the ball I knew more than ever before why Chris admired this guy so much.  He’s not the biggest player at just over 6ft, but WOW is he powerful.

But physical power aside, I think it’s his mental toughness and desire that Chris loved so much.  Quoting from Wikipedia, Peterson stated upon being drafted by the Vikings, “I’m a player who is coming in with the determination to turn a team around. I want to help my team get to the playoffs, win…and run wild. I want to bring people to the stands. I want people to come to the game to see what I can do next. Things like that can change the whole attitude of an organization. I want to win.”

Hmmm….”I want to win”.  Heard that before?  Those were Chris’ exact words on his college recruitment video.

This morning Peterson turned several 3 yard runs into 9 and 10 yard runs.  He was simply unbelievable.  He fought of tackles like a man possessed.

When he drove for a touchdown he looked up and pointed to the skies.

I know he doesn’t know Chris, but I thought, there’s one for you kid.  I know Chris would be cheering him on from his lofty box seats.

The game is still in progress and who knows how it will end.  The Vikings season isn’t that great (UNDERSTATEMENT!), and I’ll leave the circus surrounding Brett Favre to legitimate NFL commentators.

For me, this game was all about Adrian Peterson.

I just love desire of Adrian Peterson.

I love the fight of Adrian Peterson.

I love the power of Adrian Peterson.

I love the fact that although the season is not going well, the effort is always BE THE BEST!

Even with an injured ankle, you can sense the desire as the guy is like a thoroughbred horse in the starting gates who can just smell the battle and race before him and wants nothing more than to be unleashed.

It reminds me of another athlete I know very well.

Chris in Florida 2008 schooling a much larger opponent!
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Be The Best.

Snow Time Like the Present

Sometimes I’m not sure why I do what I do.

I’ve learned however, that THAT is a good way to actually get creative. (wife may or may not agree with this statement)

With snow on the ground this morning I knew the commute may be long.

I may get bored.

Generally speaking after commuting for 20+ years, we are pretty used to it and use the time to sleep (if you’re not doing the driving) or simply think about the day…a chance to process some thoughts or ideas.

Then again, when you’ve got a snow commute in November…why not video it?

btw, I know exactly what the date is.

We’re not ignoring that we sit at 8 months to the day that we lost Chris.

We are however, turning the corner every month…not to forget. NEVER. Exactly the opposite.

We are turning the corner to REMEMBER.

Good times. Goofy times. Kid times. Teenage times. All those events that made the 17 years we had together so incredibly wonderful and years that will affect us in a positive way for the rest of our lives.

Chris loved the snow.  He loved to show off his muscles shoveling it.  He loved snowboarding and we had an amazing time together last New Years up at Silver Star.

I’m sure he was watching down on us today and shaking his head in semi-mock disgust of his Dad…doing one of his crazy antics and videoing the snow commute.

(don’t worry…I had a camerawoman along so everything was very safe…)

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Be The Best.

29,978 reasons to say thank you…wait, make that 30,000.

We had a few amazing emails this week.

The first was from Joyce, part of our Burnaby Mountain Selects lacrosse family.

She had the official total raised for Chris’ fund from the Chris Friesen Memorial Lacrosse shafts.

Ready? $8,261.54.  Are you kidding me?  What an incredible donation from all of those who purchased the sticks, the folks at Harrow and our amazing friends Joyce, Brent and Jeff at BMS.

The good news didn’t stop there.

Just today we received a note from Wanda at Simon Fraser with a new grand total, $29,978.45!!

Our goal was 20k.  When that was smashed, Ingrid boldly told Wanda the new goal was 30k.

When I saw that number this afternoon, the first thing I thought about was hoofing it up to SFU to put in another $25 to get us over the 30k mark.

I didn’t quite get there and then I read another email.

It was from Brent from BMS to Wanda at SFU, personally committing funds to break through the $30,000 mark.

Cool eh?

In the darkest of times we have seen such warmth, light and brightness.

We are humbled and grateful and proud and sad and happy and scared and excited.

I could add more, but you get the picture.

With a fund established at $30,000, we will be helping to change lives for a long long time..forever actually, as this fund will never stop giving money away each year and will continue to grow over time.

The first $1,000 award to a lacrosse playing SFU student will be proudly given in Chris’ name in January 2011 at the Maple Leaf Awards dinner.

What a night that will be.